Woman dies without the Sacraments. Am I to blame?

[MarthaMartha]

Andreas Hofer

The reality of life is, if you’re dying, your family can overide your wishes.

The law in hospice is, the care giver has say on the needs and care of their loved one. A hospice nurse or volunteer, can not rule over the care giver, especially when its his own mother in his own home.

It events like this, we have to leave the person to the mercy of God.

Jim

And if you’re dying, the Lord can override your family.

Rest assured that woman was well taken care of at the hour of her death. God is merciful.

 

[rpp]

Did your father have a devotion to the Sacred Heart?

That is a very interesting question. I am not certain what point you are trying to make.

But the answer is no. My father was a fallen-away Catholic. Apparently serving in combat during WWII (D-Day to the end of the war) and liberating a concentration camp was too much for him.

Although he used to play the violin at Mass from the late 1940s through the early 1960s.

 

[leonie]

That is a very interesting question. I am not certain what point you are trying to make.

But the answer is no. My father was a fallen-away Catholic. Apparently serving in combat during WWII (D-Day to the end of the war) and liberating a concentration camp was too much for him.

Although he used to play the violin at Mass from the late 1940s through the early 1960s.

there’s a promise attached to the Sacred Heart that you will be attended by a priest at the time of your death. The circumstances of your father having a priest available for last rites seemed so miraculous, I wondered if he might have had a devotion to the Sacred Heart.

 

[rpp]

there’s a promise attached to the Sacred Heart that you will be attended by a priest at the time of your death. The circumstances of your father having a priest available for last rites seemed so miraculous, I wondered if he might have had a devotion to the Sacred Heart.

Wow! That is cool! I did not know that. I suppose I never will. Well, not for a while anyway. (A looong while, I hope! )

 

[Al_Masetti]

A priest supposedly wrote this story.

Many years ago, in the middle of a miserably cold night, a priest was awakened by “a voice”. He was directed to get up, get dressed and to visit a particular house.

He obeyed.

When he got to the house, it was dark. But he swallowed and knocked on the door. There was no answer.

On “impulse” he went around to the back, went onto the back porch and looked into the kitchen through the glass in the door.

He saw, laying on the floor, the figure of a man.

The priest broke the window and let himself into the house. The man on the floor was alive, but barely.

The man looked up and said he had led a terrible life, but his mother had told him that if he said three Hail Marys every day, he would have a priest with him when he died.

And so he did.

 

[mangy_dog]

As a hospice nurse, many of my patients die prepared according to their faith tradition. Most of the time, Catholic patients are well-covered in this regard as their families see to it.

Recently I had one lady who lived with her son and his very dysfunctional family. His wife is mentally ill and attempted suicide during the crisis of his mother dying at home. He has six neglected children, and his siblings refused to come near because of his family.

The last evening of her life, everyone knew she didn’t have long. She was still alert. I asked her son if she was a religious woman and he replied that she was very devout. I asked if a priest had seen her since she was sick and he said no. I asked her if she would like to see the priest and she indicated in the affirmative. When I turned to the son, he waved me off and said she didn’t need a priest.

Well, she died a few hours later without the Sacraments. I could easily have pushed the issue and called the priest myself. If ever a person needed a priest, it would have been her at that time. At the time I felt a nudge to do it, but did not.

A couple of nights later I had a dream about her. I don’t remember the details, but it left me wondering if I did right by her?
I now wish I had at least tried to get this woman the last rites whether her son is a believer or not.

Did I fail this woman? Should I have insisted on getting the priest?
The son was in such a state that if I had been forceful about it, he would have relented, I am sure. Did she have the right to have me trump the son’s wishes to get a priest? I would appreciate any insight into this dilemma.

The key is: “she was still alert”. That alone is sufficient for me to by-pass all other family members.

I work at a hospital with the Patient Relations Dept. and often times I’m the one to whom it occurs to even mention a priest (for catholics of course).

You are the voice of reason in these situations. Just keep it simple. Patient is alert, concious & coherent…ask…then run with the ball.

Case in point - a patient is dying, the wife is sitting by the bedside looking quite dejected. I knew from conversation that they were catholics. I asked, " would you like for me to call a priest?"… You should’ve seen the look on that womans face. It was one of relief/happiness/nostalgia and duh (why didn’t I think about this). Her words to me were, " oh my God yes, I didn’t even think about that".

If you feel guilty about your situation…go to confession, recieve absolution and pray for that person’s soul.

The Lord is merciful and has given you the clarity to act in the future.

I thank God for people like you.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Old thread alert…

 

[Jean_Anthony]

This thread is closed. Thank you all.