Woman sneaks Host to her son after Communion

[masondoggy]

A few weeks ago at Mass, I noticed a woman in front of me carry the Host back to her pew, break it in half, and give half to her little boy sitting in the pew. She made quite a scene doing it and it looked like the Priest saw what she did, and it looked like he was pretty mad. So, I’d assume maybe he said something to her after Mass.

Well, I went to the same Mass this weekend and the same lady was sitting in front of me. I am pretty sure I saw her do it again, although this time she was very, very discreet about it. I didn’t actually SEE her give it to him. But I saw her walking back getting ready to put the Host in her mouth, like she was going to break it in half (I didn’t actually see her break it, but it looked like that’s what she was doing), a moment later I saw her hand up by her sons mouth and saw him chewing. This kid is probably no older than 6 years old.

I’m not sure what I should do here. I didn’t actually see her give the Host to the kid, and I totally could have got it wrong. I said something to my mom about it when we got out to the car and she insisted I go in and tell Father. But I’m hesitatant because I don’t want to be a “tattletale” with something I’m not totally sure about…and I’m not very comfortable approaching this priest anyway.

I figured maybe I’d wait and see if she does it again, but I don’t intent to watch her next time because I don’t need that kind of distraction during Communion. So I’m not sure what to do…

This whole thing just makes me mad! Why do people have to be so disobedient?!

 

[bluerose]

My husband’s right… one of his main objections to people receiving in the hand is that VERY FEW know the correct way to do it!

This woman should not be walking away without having consumed the host. My husband said when this issue first came up (like 25 years ago) he was told that the proper way was to receive the host, step to the side and place the host in your mouth BEFORE you turn to walk back to your seat.

I think you should inform the priest and maybe suggest that he announces the proper way for people to receive in the hand, so that he can see if people are consuming the host properly and reverently. If this woman can get all the way back to her pew without having consumed the host and no one stopping her, someone else with more diabolical intentions could easily walk out of the church with the host and desecrate it.

 

[theistgal]

Yes, you should tell the priest. Write him a note if you don’t feel comfortable speaking with him. Just describe what you saw and let him deal with it from there.

 

[anamchara]

I don’t see any reason for anger since we don’t know what is in this womens heart or mind. A couple of things could be going on. The child might be older than you think, not sure if you are getting a good look at him. Perhaps he suffers from autism and might have a melt down if he went up to recieve. Or the women may not be Catholic and is misunderstanding how to recieve and how old you have to be. Or she could have issues herself, we don’t know. I wouldn’t get angry, I’d be concerned about the women and the little boy. If it were me,I would just ask the priest about it after Mass. Maybe phrase it in a way that doesn’t like you are being a busy body. Example, " Father, I don’t mean to sound like a busy body and I’m sorry if I do but I’m concerned about this women who is not consuming the host and is breaking in half and giving to her son who looks too young, is there something wrong are they new here?"

You said the priest saw it so maybe he has said something and you just don’t know. Talk to the Priest.

 

[masondoggy]

I don’t see any reason for anger since we don’t know what is in this womens heart or mind.

There are certainly many explainations, but the fact that she was being so secretive and discreet about it makes me think that she knows she shouldn’t be doing it. That’s enough to make me mad. It’s outright disobedience right in front of our Lord.

 

[chrisb]

Grace and Peace,

Is this woman Orthodox? I know that Orthodox Christian Children are given Communion from the day that they are Baptized.

I know my daughter has asked me many times if she could have communion and it tears my heart out every time I deny her the Body and Blood knowing that she is in a state of grace since Baptism. I know Byzantine Catholics also give their Children Communion also.

If she is giving it to her child I can sympathize with her because just as many well-known Saints can sympathize with her as well.

 

[Brendan]

Grace and Peace,

Is this woman Orthodox? I know that Orthodox Christian Children are given Communion from the day that they are Baptized.

I know my daughter has asked me many times if she could have communion and it tears my heart out every time I deny her the Body and Blood knowing that she is in a state of grace since Baptism. I know Byzantine Catholics also give their Children Communion also.

If she is giving it to her child I can sympathize with her because just as many well-known Saints can sympathize with her as well.

But neither the Orthodox or the Byzantine Catholics are permitted, by their law, to recive the Eucharist in the hand.

They are in a Roman Church, by they are obligated to observe their own law, in much the same way as we are obligated to observe our disciplines in a Byzantine Church.

 

[anamchara]

There are certainly many explainations, but the fact that she was being so secretive and discreet about it makes me think that she knows she shouldn’t be doing it. That’s enough to make me mad. It’s outright disobedience right in front of our Lord.

I wouldn’t assume secretivness unless you know for sure. Maybe she just isn’t sure and feels insecure. Maybe she doesn’t even speak English. Like I said, there could be something wrong with her as well. I realize I could be wrong mason, but I don’t see a need for anger.

I just think we need to approach these things with love and compassion and don’t assume ill will (disobedience) unless we know for sure. It’s very possible she isn’t aware of the slight on our Lord.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A few weeks ago at Mass, I noticed a woman in front of me carry the Host back to her pew, break it in half, and give half to her little boy sitting in the pew. She made quite a scene doing it and it looked like the Priest saw what she did, and it looked like he was pretty mad. So, I’d assume maybe he said something to her after Mass.

Well, I went to the same Mass this weekend and the same lady was sitting in front of me. I am pretty sure I saw her do it again, although this time she was very, very discreet about it. I didn’t actually SEE her give it to him. But I saw her walking back getting ready to put the Host in her mouth, like she was going to break it in half (I didn’t actually see her break it, but it looked like that’s what she was doing), a moment later I saw her hand up by her sons mouth and saw him chewing. This kid is probably no older than 6 years old.

I’m not sure what I should do here. I didn’t actually see her give the Host to the kid, and I totally could have got it wrong. I said something to my mom about it when we got out to the car and she insisted I go in and tell Father. But I’m hesitatant because I don’t want to be a “tattletale” with something I’m not totally sure about…and I’m not very comfortable approaching this priest anyway.

I figured maybe I’d wait and see if she does it again, but I don’t intent to watch her next time because I don’t need that kind of distraction during Communion. So I’m not sure what to do…

This whole thing just makes me mad! Why do people have to be so disobedient?!

Tell the pastor what you did see and think happened. Then plan to sit either next to her or right behind her next Sunday if Father asks you to. When you see her return to her pew watch that she consumes the Host. If not and she breaks it, STOP her and tell her to either give it to you or consume it herself. But first let Father know just to be sure that they are not Eastern Catholics, attending your Latin parish.

 

[Spiller]

But neither the Orthodox or the Byzantine Catholics are permitted, by their law, to recive the Eucharist in the hand.

They are in a Roman Church, by they are obligated to observe their own law, in much the same way as we are obligated to observe our disciplines in a Byzantine Church.

An Eastern Catholic is most certainly allowed to receive-in-hand in a Latin Rite parish in the USA.

 

[Spiller]

Tell the pastor what you did see and think happened. Then plan to sit either next to her or right behind her next Sunday if Father asks you to. When you see her return to her pew watch that she consumes the Host. If not and she breaks it, STOP her and tell her to either give it to you or consume it herself. But first let Father know just to be sure that they are not Eastern Catholics, attending your Latin parish.

No way. Not unless the pastor expressly directed you to do that, and I doubt any would. Even then I doubt I would as I would be a bit concerned about any pastor that would give that sort of directive.

If you feel compelled, lay it all out for father and then step aside. It’s up to him to deal with it. Likely through communicating directly with her and catechesis and not by having operatives out in the pews. He might also alert the EMsHC.

It wouldn’t matter if they were Eastern Catholics by the way. That wouldn’t be an excuse for what they appear to be doing wrong.

 

[anamchara]

Tell the pastor what you did see and think happened. Then plan to sit either next to her or right behind her next Sunday if Father asks you to. When you see her return to her pew watch that she consumes the Host. If not and she breaks it, STOP her and tell her to either give it to you or consume it herself. But first let Father know just to be sure that they are not Eastern Catholics, attending your Latin parish.

oh dear, that seems harsh too me. :nope: I don’t think it’s our job to be police. However, saying it a way that is more charitiable. “excuse me Miss?, are you Catholic?” Smile and be polite while asking the questions if the priest has allowed you to do this… We need to find out frist what’s going on before we start forcing a person. There could be many reasons. Just my own opinion, I know many will say “but it’s our Lord she is holding!!” I feel our Lord is understanding of the uneducated.

 

[LRThunder]

oh dear, that seems harsh too me. :nope: I don’t think it’s our job to be police. However, saying it a way that is more charitiable. “excuse me Miss?, are you Catholic?” Smile and be polite while asking the questions if the priest has allowed you to do this… We need to find out frist what’s going on before we start forcing a person. There could be many reasons. Just my own opinion, I know many will say “but it’s our Lord she is holding!!” I feel our Lord is understanding of the uneducated.

It has nothing to do with being police, but making sure that the host is not being used for sacrilegious purposes.

 

[Spiller]

It has nothing to do with being police, but making sure that the host is not being used for sacrilegious purposes.

That just wouldn’t be the way to handle it. If the pastor shared the grave concern then he should speak to the woman off-line. He should also warn EMsHC to make sure she consumes the host in their presence. He might even make sure that it is he who distributes communion to her.

If those two actions don’t take care of the problem, I don’t think pew police will either. Just try to “STOP” her. It will just cause a scene and she’ll end-up ignoring the pew police or worse…

 

[MusicMan]

But neither the Orthodox or the Byzantine Catholics are permitted, by their law, to recive the Eucharist in the hand.

They are in a Roman Church, by they are obligated to observe their own law, in much the same way as we are obligated to observe our disciplines in a Byzantine Church.

I believe you are incorrect. It is the liturgical law of the Byzantine Church that prohibits all from receiving in the hand at the Divine Liturgy, not Canon Law. When a Latin Catholic attends the DL, s/he must receive in the mouth, due to the liturgical laws.

A Byzantine Catholic attending a Latin Mass would certainly have the option to receive in the hand, because they would be bound by the liturgical law of the Latin Mass.

Much in the same way, you cross yourself appropriate to the Rite you are attending in, not the Church you belong to, and you say or omit The Filioque based upon the Rite you are attending, not the Church you belong to.

 

[MoreThan1Hat]

I believe you are incorrect. It is the liturgical law of the Byzantine Church that prohibits all from receiving in the hand at the Divine Liturgy, not Canon Law. When a Latin Catholic attends the DL, s/he must receive in the mouth, due to the liturgical laws.

A Byzantine Catholic attending a Latin Mass would certainly have the option to receive in the hand, because they would be bound by the liturgical law of the Latin Mass.

Much in the same way, you cross yourself appropriate to the Rite you are attending in, not the Church you belong to, and you say or omit The Filioque based upon the Rite you are attending, not the Church you belong to.

But surely, to give this woman the benefit of the doubt, she knows that her child is permitted to receive in the Latin Church. My children and I attend Mass in a Latin parish about once a month with our Catholic homeschoolers and all my children receive (although they do not receive in the hand, and receive only the Host, to minimize the chance of spilling any of the Precious Blood since my youngest can be clumsy).
To echo many of the previous respondents, talk to the priest - don’t seem angry so as not to put him on the defensive. but definitely talk to the priest. And pray for the woman - God sees her heart and can call her to do the right thing, whatever that may be.

 

[BlestOne]

If the woman and child are of another Rite where he is allowed to receive from baptism don’t you think he would go up himself in the communion line? Are you sure that this child is not disabled in some way where he cannot go up in line? Just playing devils advocate here…

We have a very young and small for his age child in our parish that goes up for communion. I know a few times the EMHC’s have asked the parents if it is OK for him to receive… I think he is 6 now but very very small for his age… his parents understand and just nod their approval…

 

[MusicMan]

With regard to Paricular Church, I doubt that is the issue. However in the event that it is, I can offer the following explanation.

The woman spoke to the priest about her status … is a member of an Eastern Church, but does not have access to one, so will be attending this Latin Church. Her son should be allowed to receive, and the priest told her NO because he’s not old enough. Simple ignorance about the Eastern Churches.

The other scenario is that the woman did not alert the priest because she was afraid he’d say that her son isn’t old enough to receive.

Should she have to do any of this? No, but I wouldn’t trust Latin Church emsHC to allow an Eastern Catholic child to receive if they look under the age that that particular Latin Church allows First Communion.

If this is the case, it should be easily solved, and it may explain the priest’s noticable anger.

However, I suspect that this isn’t the case and that there’s something else happening here.

I would also discourage lay policing of others. Unless they are deliberately desecrating the Sacrament, and this, while improper, doesn’t seem like deliberate desecration, lay people really shouldn’t be cast or cast themselves in the role of Eucharistic police. That is really something reserved for those in Holy Orders. Which is why emsHC cannot deny someone the Sacrament without a directive from the pastor.

Edited to add: We do have a disabled man in our parish who cannot come up for Communion and sits in the back. The construction of our nave would really prohibit him coming to the front for Mass. His wife indicates to the Communion distributor that she needs a second host for him, and brings the Sacrament to him herself. I know this isn’t a licit practice, but it is the best solution and has the sanction of the pastor – when I was trained to serve as emHC, I was directed by the pastor to give the woman a second host if she requested it. If there is a disability issue here, perhaps a similar situation would be workable.

 

[JimG]

We do have a disabled man in our parish who cannot come up for Communion and sits in the back. The construction of our nave would really prohibit him coming to the front for Mass. His wife indicates to the Communion distributor that she needs a second host for him, and brings the Sacrament to him herself. I know this isn’t a licit practice, but it is the best solution and has the sanction of the pastor – when I was trained to serve as emHC, I was directed by the pastor to give the woman a second host if she requested it. If there is a disability issue here, perhaps a similar situation would be workable.

Actually, I have done this myself. At my previous parish, my neice would always ask the priest for an extra host to take back to her mom in the pew who is disabled. She gave her mom the host, who then consumed it. On several occasions I was with her and did the same thing for her when the neice was not present. On several occasions there was a priest I did not know so didn’t feel comfortable making the request. In that case I did break the host, consume half, and give the other half to the mom.

 

[snhs]

I would also discourage lay policing of others. Unless they are deliberately desecrating the Sacrament, and this, while improper, doesn’t seem like deliberate desecration, lay people really shouldn’t be cast or cast themselves in the role of Eucharistic police. That is really something reserved for those in Holy Orders. Which is why emsHC cannot deny someone the Sacrament without a directive from the pastor.

Edited to add: We do have a disabled man in our parish who cannot come up for Communion and sits in the back. The construction of our nave would really prohibit him coming to the front for Mass. His wife indicates to the Communion distributor that she needs a second host for him, and brings the Sacrament to him herself. I know this isn’t a licit practice, but it is the best solution and has the sanction of the pastor – when I was trained to serve as emHC, I was directed by the pastor to give the woman a second host if she requested it. If there is a disability issue here, perhaps a similar situation would be workable.

I should have thought that anyone who was breaking the Host and then giving it to a child who may or may not be of the canonical age in possible violation of the instruction of the Priest could well be said to be deliberately desecrating the Host. I think if someone were to see such an act occurring and were in a position to do something about it without causing a significant disruption to the Mass then they should do so. It is also worth bearing in mind that once the Host has left the front of the Altar the Priest is very limited in what he can do. In such cases the only way to ensure nothing untoward happens is for another member of the Parish to do something.

It is not a question of the Eucharistic police it is a question of ensuring proper respect for the Body of Christ is observed and although the Priest has a very important role in terms of educating etc it is not just his responsibility.

I would also disagree with it being the best solution, the Priest or one of the other EM could easily walk to wherever he is seated and give him Communion there, even if it would take a bit longer, rather than engaging in an illicit practice.