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DarkLight
Guest
The word “I” followed by a verb stating the action performed.edward_george1:
Please, in layman’s terms.
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
She means guys talk dirty about sex with each other, so it should be easy for a male penitent to talk to a male priest.
The problem is, I don’t know a single devout Catholic man who is comfortable talking raunchy stuff about sex with a presumably holy and celibate priest.
The problem is, I don’t know a single devout Catholic man who is comfortable talking raunchy stuff about sex with a presumably holy and celibate priest.
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BoomBoomMancini
Guest
Not to mention the whole “locker room thing” kind of dies once people are out of high school/college. I assume my married friends are having sex with their wives, but it’s not like they tell me all the explicit details (nor am I asking.)
I have discussed sex with close friends before, but always in the context of a problem, like a friend whose intimacy with his wife had hit a snag. And even then, it’s more of a discussion of the relationship, not “bro, you won’t believe what we did last night…”
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
You also can’t confess to a priest and say, “we’ll Father you know how it is when your wife won’t sleep with you and then you meet a hot babe at Hooters” etc. Because Father is presumed to not know how that is (whether he actually does know or not).
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dochawk
Guest
As Fr. Nils of blessed memory told our parish a few years ago, we’re not going to shock him with sins–“You’re not that good at it!”
I recall another priest, having brought in the small army of priests for lent told the parish, “and they’re all old, blind, and deaf, so they won’t recognize you or understand you anyway.”
Foul! Completely lacks a verb . . .
hawk
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DarkLight
Guest
I think that might be the issue. I imagine men are more likely to joke around with fellows they imagine will be understanding - in the sense that they might view the sin as excusable!
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TheLittleLady
Guest
I lied.
I cheated.
I stole.
I was lazy.
I was impure in thought and action.
I cheated.
I stole.
I was lazy.
I was impure in thought and action.
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DarkLight
Guest
I am reminded of advice I’ve heard given to younger women.
Sometimes “there’s no one else who understands like you” means “because other women understand what I’m actually after.”
Sometimes “there’s no one else who understands like you” means “because other women understand what I’m actually after.”
Tis_Bearself
Patron
“There’s no one else who understands like you” might be sincere if you’re both single and in the deep discussions stage of a serious relationship.
It’s bs if the guy is trying to talk you into taking him back after bad behavior, or trying to get you to fool around with him behind his wife’s back.
I was taught by my mom that any man who says “My wife doesn’t understand me” should be avoided at all costs. I laughed thinking no man would be enough of a loser to actually say that, then I met men who did. Ughhh.
It’s bs if the guy is trying to talk you into taking him back after bad behavior, or trying to get you to fool around with him behind his wife’s back.
I was taught by my mom that any man who says “My wife doesn’t understand me” should be avoided at all costs. I laughed thinking no man would be enough of a loser to actually say that, then I met men who did. Ughhh.
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DarkLight
Guest
That was usually the situation under consideration - or at least trying to get a young lady to fool around farther than she felt was appropriate without a ring.
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Rozellelily
Guest
I think generally men feel more comfortable talking with men and vice versa for women about sex matters even when not in a crude manner.
When I wrote this I also had something in mind that was reported on the news recently-more married footballers had together in a hotel room exposed their bums and other things to some woman over FaceTime.
Thankfully locker room type men are not most men these days but you still come across men with this deeply ingrained disrespect ‘boys club’ mentality if go to the pub and particularly in football players.
I guess that’s different than in Christian men though who no doubt also struggle but hopefully are a bit more respectful about it.
When I wrote this I also had something in mind that was reported on the news recently-more married footballers had together in a hotel room exposed their bums and other things to some woman over FaceTime.
Thankfully locker room type men are not most men these days but you still come across men with this deeply ingrained disrespect ‘boys club’ mentality if go to the pub and particularly in football players.
I guess that’s different than in Christian men though who no doubt also struggle but hopefully are a bit more respectful about it.
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edward_george1
Guest
As I’ve said, less is more with confession. We don’t need locker room talk or steamy romance novel style descriptions. Say “I did (insert sin) this number of times,” and that suffices. It isn’t immodest, nor is it a source of temptation. It just is what it is. As I’m fond of saying over the tempest in a teapot that occurs over a lot of Church-related things (style of vestments, wearing cassocks, chant vs. some other kind of music or any other number of unnecessarily political things), “it’s only a thing if you make it a thing.” Confess simply and in simple terms, and you have nothing to worry about.
-Fr ACEGC
-Fr ACEGC
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catholicgirl2012
Guest
I completely understand where you are coming from. It’s not easy to confess, period. Yet alone these kind of sins. Plus, being a woman, we aren’t expected to struggle with this. All of our teachings/documents and books that are written by Catholics are directed towards men.
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edward_george1
Guest
It isn’t always easy to confess, but as I’ve said here and in other threads, less is more. If you just say what you did very simply and plainly, it takes a lot of the burden off. I know a lot of people who have been surprised to find out that they didn’t have to go into detail, and they were relieved–apparently the thought that they had to give all the context for their sins was keeping them from going to Confession.
Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “all our teachings/documents and books that are written by Catholics are directed towards men.” I can think of several spiritual works that were written precisely with women in mind, even from quite long ago. Francis de Sales wrote hundreds of letters to women to give them spiritual direction, especially his most notable directee, Jane Frances de Chantal (herself a saint and a religious foundress, both thanks to his direction). It’s thought that his Introduction to the Devout Life is based on his letters to her–that “Philothea,” whom he addresses throughout was really Jane. And John of Avila’s foremost work was called “Audi, Filia,” or “Hear, O Daughter.” He also wrote a lot of spiritual letters to women. As for teaching documents, there’s nothing in anything official or magisterial to indicate that it’s all directed toward men, and in fact, some of it is specifically directed toward women–like John Paul II’s “Letter to Women,” as well as his important encyclical Mulieris Dignitatem.
This is a topic I’m passionate about, obviously–the women in my life helped me to find and to embrace my vocation, and have continually had something to teach me about how to be a good priest. I am what I am because of the gift of the women in my life.
-Fr ACEGC
Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “all our teachings/documents and books that are written by Catholics are directed towards men.” I can think of several spiritual works that were written precisely with women in mind, even from quite long ago. Francis de Sales wrote hundreds of letters to women to give them spiritual direction, especially his most notable directee, Jane Frances de Chantal (herself a saint and a religious foundress, both thanks to his direction). It’s thought that his Introduction to the Devout Life is based on his letters to her–that “Philothea,” whom he addresses throughout was really Jane. And John of Avila’s foremost work was called “Audi, Filia,” or “Hear, O Daughter.” He also wrote a lot of spiritual letters to women. As for teaching documents, there’s nothing in anything official or magisterial to indicate that it’s all directed toward men, and in fact, some of it is specifically directed toward women–like John Paul II’s “Letter to Women,” as well as his important encyclical Mulieris Dignitatem.
This is a topic I’m passionate about, obviously–the women in my life helped me to find and to embrace my vocation, and have continually had something to teach me about how to be a good priest. I am what I am because of the gift of the women in my life.
-Fr ACEGC
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catholicgirl2012
Guest
I mean specifically in regards to books/documents addressing woman struggling with sexual sin. As when we read in the catechism it clearly is regarding men. Or sex outside of marriage. Jason Everett wrote a book “Pure Manhood” but I don’t recall his wives book addressing woman being in pure in her book.
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edward_george1
Guest
In looking at the store at www.chastity.com, which is the Everetts’ website, it seems that the books are directed at people of both sexes, and they even have a dual volume called “Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body” that’s intended for males and females respectively.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
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DarkLight
Guest
This is neither here nor there, but…why do these books always have to be so pink?
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edward_george1
Guest
As a male with a devotion to St Therese, I ask myself the same thing when I shop for St Therese devotional items…
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catholicgirl2012
Guest
I guess I will have to refresh. I have the book Pure Womanhood and I don’t recall it being helpful to me the last time I read it.
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