Women, did/would you change your name upon marriage?

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Allegra said:
I took my husband’s name as it’s the tradition and I see no good reason not to. I’m not particularly stuck on my maiden name and I suspect it makes thing easier when communicating with other about our children. My mother actually kept my father’s name as part of her last name, even after she was remarried for the same reason.
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Yeah, so far the most annoying thing has been the bank persistently thinking I have a hyphenated name. If issues come up as my child grows older, I’ll probably just change it. So far there have been no real issues.
 
I am Hispanic, so kept maiden name, my mother’s, and added hubby’s surname to the mix 😃
 
Does anyone know of a husband who changed his name? I know one couple where both husband and wife chose to use a hyphenated last name.
 
I didn’t.

When I was in my late teens / early twenties I told my boyfriend, now husband, that I intended to change it. But over time I grew to dislike the idea; it just seemed like a) a lot of effort and b) entirely pointless. My husband had grown attached to the idea of us sharing a name, which I respected (he did not attempt to make me change it, he was just being honest about how he felt).

So I was a bit conflicted; after all it was my name, I shouldn’t feel guilty about not changing it, especially since it’s not even a tradition in many countries. I proposed a compromise: that I would be “Ms maiden-name husband’s-name” socially and “Ms Maiden-name” professionally / in all other respects.

However, a double barrel surname is a MASSIVE HASSLE; the moment I realised that it wouldn’t work was when I rang a restaurant to make a booking and gave my “social” name. When I got to the restaurant, they couldn’t read my name on the booking because they had smashed my 2 surnames into one “surname” box on the online booking system 😛 And that is fair enough; not many people have 2 surnames.

So, now, basically I just have my facebook profile as “first-name maiden-name husband’s-name” and use my maiden name for everything else, even though I have moved to the other side of the world so any friends I make will find it hard to add me on facebook because they won’t know about my double barrel facebook name. I can’t really change it back though; people would read into it.

I can see 2 reasons how it might be hand to take your husband’s name: it might be handy to have the same surname when you have kids. The other reason is if you rally hate your maiden name and your husband has a suave surname 😉

Also, while I of course accept that it’s understandable that people assume that I would take my husband’s name, I do find it slightly strange that people call me “Mrs Husband’s-name” when I never indicated that I intended to change my name. Though I don’t bother correcting people, because there is a lot worse you could call me 😛

So, that is my story, sorry, it is very long. Tl;dr, I didn’t, women should just do whatever they want re: the name change thing, it’s just a tradition and there is nothing wrong with breaking OR keeping archaic traditions.
 
Women need to fall into line and change their last name. Why be super duper progressive hippie counter culture idealist when you can knock off all that trash and simply do what you are supposed to. SUBMIT ~Bible
 
Polluted said:
Women need to fall into line and change their last name. Why be super duper progressive hippie counter culture idealist when you can knock off all that trash and simply do what you are supposed to. SUBMIT ~Bible
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Aren’t you the one complaining that you have kids with multiple different women and depending on your fiance’s family for support?
 
I sort of did.

In France, everyone keeps their birth name for life in government records. If you want to officially change your name, the entire record must be changed and for that you must go to court. The standard procedure for a name change resulting from marriage is a notation in the official record: Anne Marie Dupont, after her marriage to Marc Olivier, would be known to the government as Anne Marie Dupont, épouse Olivier (“wife of Mr. Olivier”). Anne Marie could then continue to use her maiden name, adopt her new married name, or hyphenate the two (married name first) as she desires socially, professionally, on financial and non-governmental legal documents - whatever. But to the government she would remain Anne Marie Dupont.

All marriages begin at city hall, at which time the notation of the change in civil status is made in the government records. Religious wedding ceremonies are not legally binding in France, and no religious official will marry a couple who was not already civilly married (you must produce the certificate prior to the religious ceremony).

So…when I married, I became Mrs. The Husband’s Name in all ways except in the eyes of the government.

The bulk of my government record is in the US, since I grew up there. In order to maintain continuity between the official records of my existence in the US and France, I elected not to change my name in the US. There, I can only legally use my maiden name, though I’m still Mrs. The Husband’s Name socially. This can be problematic - I have French-issued bank cards in my married name that I sometimes have difficulty using in the States because I can’t produce ID that proves I’m that person - but it’s manageable.
 
seagal said:
Does anyone know of a husband who changed his name? I know one couple where both husband and wife chose to use a hyphenated last name.
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I know a man who took his wife’s name and a few families that combined their names to create new ones.
 
DarkLight said:
Aren’t you the one complaining that you have kids with multiple different women and depending on your fiance’s family for support?
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At first the deranged posts were at least slightly amusing, but now I’m just waiting for him to get banned.
 
I did- I never really considered not changing my name. I like that our whole family has the same last name. It was a bit of a hassle to change it, but it wasn’t that bad.
 
I changed it the first time and also the second time.
I found no problems having names fixed on documents “except” for my mortgage company.
They have copies of my marriage certificate 2 times over, and still can’t get it together. The deed has already be amended.
Everyone else knows my first husband is deceased and I remarried.
🤷
Interestingly enough, my 2nd husband would rather have my maiden name, as it’s very trendy now to be Spanish. 😉

I have used my maiden name as my middle, but the IRS still holds to my original given middle name.

I have no reasons pro or con.
But I will say that if my husbands name was odd I’d keep my maiden name for sure.
Clare Dorkface just wouldn’t work for me. 😃
 
DarkLight said:
And if so, I’m curious what your reasoning is?
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I did not. My last name was rare and incredibly meaningful to me and it meant a great deal to me to keep it. My husband was neutral towards his last name so he was fine with the decision. We gave been married a long time and despite dire prediction by friends and family, t’s been a total non issue.

Our kids have a hyphenated last name but use mine officially. As an adult, they may choose which name to use, though I will be comfortable if they choose either mine or my beloved husband’s last name.
 
I really disliked my last name & before meeting my husband I was seriously considering changing to a family name I liked better. Had I done so, I would have kept it. But as I hadn’t got around to it, it was easiest to change to husband’s name. Although considering that people have trouble pronouncing & spelling it, we might have done better with choosing another name. 😉
 
Polluted said:
Women need to fall into line and change their last name. Why be super duper progressive hippie counter culture idealist when you can knock off all that trash and simply do what you are supposed to. SUBMIT ~Bible
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Lol what?
 
I did change my name legally but continued to use my maiden name at work because I had an established career. I kind of wanted to keep my last name but my husband really wanted me to take his name so I did.

At the time of our divorce I change my name back to my maiden name and I will not change it again.
 
I loved my maiden name and didn’t really want to change it, but finally decided I wanted all of our family to have the same last name. My husband good-naturedly signed an agreement that “half-way through our marriage” we would both change our names to my maiden name :rotfl: 35 years later, we must not be half-way yet because that hasn’t happened. 🙂

I don’t regret changing mine, but don’t have any problem with women who keep their maiden name. My daughter took her husband’s last name; my daughter-in-law kept hers. It’s a personal decision, I think 🙂
 
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