The current economic and social conditions in the UK don’t encourage marriage and bringing up a family. Probably part of an agenda to stall population growth.
Where should they raise them then? Most UK towns and cities have housing estates, infact here in Carlisle, unless you move out into the surrounding villages, EVERYBODY is on a housing estate, even those lucky enough to own their own homes! So…what’s your point? Do you think all people on housing estates are poor and welfare scroungers? So they shouldn’t have kids?
I grew up on a ghetto housing estate in central London, living on the third floor of a tower block. My (single) Mum was poor, and scraped by on benefits in the Thatcherite 80’s.
But, we’re not talking about single moms here…we’re talking about should a woman marry only a man who can provide for her and the children (i.e. she needn’t work). Also, my mother was a single mother (my dad died of cancer when I was 7) and we lived on a council estate in Holland and she survived on a widow’s pension for nearly 30 years. Thing is, as Catholics we don’t believe you only ever have kids if you’re well-off…are you saying a Catholic married couple in Elephant & Castle or Bayswater should never have children, just because they cannot afford to buy their own home? NFP forever, because growing up on a council estate is that bad? I’ve lived in Stockwell for 2 years when I first moved to England and yes, the massive towerblocks were a huge put-off…put to go as far as to say people like that should not be allowed to have children…goes a bit too far I think!
Assuming that you can put food on the table and support a roof over your head on DH’s salary, do you still believe that Mom working is best for the children?
Assuming that you live in a country that gives you a full year of paid maternity leave, and then European working hours (35-40 hrs a week max), and no commute, and live in a culture where grandparents feel it their obligation to care for grandkids almost as much as the parents do (for free, of course), and the kids feel very comfy with them from a very early age, and there is excellent and very cheap daycare partly funded and fully controled by the state, and one can only dream of finding a job that could provide for a whole family, would you all (not you, CountryMom; you are by no means radical in your opinion, and I’m just addressing your points because you presented them so well
) still think that having a SAHM was somehow UNIVERSALLY the best solution for each family?
Re-read my posts in this thread. Look, women can do whatever they choose. Instinctively, women have an urge to partner off with a male who can provide safety & security for her offspring. In our society, that security equals financial might. I wish it wasn’t like that, but that’s the current worldly system. Therefore, if a woman chooses to marry a man who isn’t financially robust, they should both be unselfish enough to remain childless, & indeed consider it a blessing.
Yes i agree with this. But I know many Catholic women who don’t and I often wonder why.It’s funny …I was thinking about my grandparents, and they had huge families (my parents are both from families with 8+ siblings) and the mom and dad both worked on the farm–there wasn’t this stay at home mom label, for mothers. I think that over the years, the corporate world took over family businesses, and thus the labeling began. I think that in this day and age, the ideal would be for a parent to be home with the kids–I’m glad I had the chance when they were young, but if it is truly not feasible, I’d rather work to support my family, than have my husband saddle multiple jobs and hardly be able to spend quality time with his kids. That’s just my thoughts.
I thought about this though after reading this thread, and how my grandmother and grandfather…on both sides…were working in family businesses (farms) and taking care of the kids at the same time. It wasn’t seen as a dad doing this or that, and the mom is designated for this or that. But, back then, women did all the laundry, cooking, housecleaning too…so, they worked harder than the men it seemed!
Yes, what I wonder about the most, is when these types of issues, became intertwined with religion. Religion and choosing to stay at home with one’s children, really are not connected. I believe all women and men have a responsibility to make sure their children are well cared for, and the ideal as I have said, is for a parent to be home with the child when the child is preschool age or later if possible. I believe that God expects us to put the needs of our kids over our own selfish desires, but I get a bit confused when it became acceptable to mix this ideal of women not working out of the home when they have kids, with religion. As if a woman working outside of the home–while kids are still at home–is somehow unChristian like. I often wonder why and how that thinking came about.
I think it depends on WHY one works outside the home. The best thing for children is to have their mother home, at least for the first 3 years. When someone just CHOOSES to go to work when it’s needed financially because she doesn’t want to lose her independence, or wants to by a new car, or something like that, I think that’s when people have a problem with it, because it’s NOT putting your children first.Yes, what I wonder about the most, is when these types of issues, became intertwined with religion. Religion and choosing to stay at home with one’s children, really are not connected. I believe all women and men have a responsibility to make sure their children are well cared for, and the ideal as I have said, is for a parent to be home with the child when the child is preschool age or later if possible. I believe that God expects us to put the needs of our kids over our own selfish desires, but I get a bit confused when it became acceptable to mix this ideal of women not working out of the home when they have kids, with religion. As if a woman working outside of the home–while kids are still at home–is somehow unChristian like. I often wonder why and how that thinking came about.
Yes it is very important. When my husband asked my father if he could marry me, my father had a LONG talk with him.
agreed–yes, I even mentioned that in my post.
I believe the BEST thing for children is to have BOTH parents home. Having a SAHM and a dad you only see an hour a day or so before bed can by no means be the IDEAL. The IDEAL is for kids to have both parents present at all/most times.