Women proposing to men

[Quarles47]

I see nothing wrong with women proposing to a man, I know many a woman out there that will drop a strong enough hint that her man needs to propose. Also, I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date.

I mean, lets spread the rejection around a little bit.

 

[LilyM]

I see nothing wrong with women proposing to a man, I know many a woman out there that will drop a strong enough hint that her man needs to propose. Also, I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date.

I mean, lets spread the rejection around a little bit.

Agreed! At least about the date and the rejection. The sort of courage required to ask someone on a date - or to marry you - is surely a gift of the Holy Spirit distributed equally to both sexes, rather than a uniquely masculine trait?

I’m thinking of doing so myself - there’s a guy I like who I’m pretty sure likes me as well, but is quite shy, probably enough that he wouldn’t ask me out without a bit of a nudge.

Though I wouldn’t ask him for a date date - maybe catch up over a coffee or something and see how it goes from there.

I’ll leave you with this final note. Queen Victoria, the absolute epitome of traditional modest femininity, so much so that traditional values are dubbed ‘Victorian’, proposed to her husband!

She was reigning Queen so protocol was no-one could be so presumptuous as to ask her. Goes to show one can be completely feminine and still still propose.

 

[Charlemagne_II]

quarles

Also, I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date.

I don’t either. But I would draw the line at her showing up with a bouquet of roses.

 

[Catholicpotato]

dearest diary…
it is day 953 of my heart wondering if today is the day she will finally ask me to marry her! I have placed hints, cried, dreamed, begged, and pleaded for her to finally suprise me with the ring I have long dreamed of! My heart swells in my bosom with each breath of anticipation. I long to look down into those strong eyes, touch those calloused hands, and hear those deep, gruff words coming out of her muffled mustache ladden mouth!
Tonight she is taking to my favorite restaurant, a place called cafe paris…Though I know she would rather the Mcdonalds in Wal Mart. Could today be the day? Shreeek! Im off to do my hair!

Sincerly,
Gus.

 

[Captain_America]

My personal opinion is that the man should make the proposal. This isn’t a hard and fast rule about this but I feel it’s important that he to show his leadership and confidence about the marriage. However, dropping a subtle hint isn’t out of` the question.

I think there’s some wisdom in this.

 

[LilyM]

dearest diary…
it is day 953 of my heart wondering if today is the day she will finally ask me to marry her! I have placed hints, cried, dreamed, begged, and pleaded for her to finally suprise me with the ring I have long dreamed of! My heart swells in my bosom with each breath of anticipation. I long to look down into those strong eyes, touch those calloused hands, and hear those deep, gruff words coming out of her muffled mustache ladden mouth!
Tonight she is taking to my favorite restaurant, a place called cafe paris…Though I know she would rather the Mcdonalds in Wal Mart. Could today be the day? Shreeek! Im off to do my hair!

Sincerly,
Gus.

See my post - Queen Victoria was not unfeminine in any way (I suppose she wasn’t particularly good-looking, but then many perfectly feminine women aren’t) nor her husband Albert particularly unmasculine, and yet she was the one who popped the question.

I hate this sort of stereotyping.

 

[Catholicpotato]

See my post - Queen Victoria was not unfeminine in any way (I suppose she wasn’t particularly good-looking, but then many perfectly feminine women aren’t) nor her husband Albert particularly unmasculine, and yet she was the one who popped the question.

I hate this sort of stereotyping.

Oh come on It was meant in jest. that should be obvious. Lighten up! laugh a little, not everything has to be combative.
I dont really care about queen victoria and I do not even see how what I wrote was directed in any way at your monarch. Surely the good queen poping the question was an extraordinary circumstance. Is your point that that is the feminine thing to do because the queen did it? Like I said before I would still have married my wife if she had beat me to it but i would have been a little ashamed. and that is the sort of stereotyping I take pride in, I am man! Hear me roar! But alas the queen is dead and I dont think she was ever in a wal mart. Though I could be mistaken I have seen her dress on the clearnace rack.
Did she let him out of the can to ask him?

 

[LilyM]

Oh come on It was meant in jest. that should be obvious. Lighten up! laugh a little, not everything has to be combative.
I dont really care about queen victoria and I do not even see how what I wrote was directed in any way at your monarch. Surely the good queen poping the question was an extraordinary circumstance. Is your point that that is the feminine thing to do because the queen did it? Like I said before I would still have married my wife if she had beat me to it but i would have been a little ashamed. and that is the sort of stereotyping I take pride in, I am man! Hear me roar! But alas the queen is dead and I dont think she was ever in a wal mart. Though I could be mistaken I have seen her dress on the clearnace rack.

Many a truth is spoken in jest, my friend. By the way I’m a lawyer, so jokes come naturally but combativeness comes in equal measure.

So you’re saying you would label almost any man who allows a woman to propose to him as unmasculine? Because it shows lack of initiative and leadership?

Very well. By that logic any man who EVER waits for a woman to tell him to do anything - even things as simple as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn - is equally unmasculine. For that matter, any man who ever waits for another man to tell him what to do is equally unmasculine.

What is the difference, qualitatively, between being told ‘son, go buy some milk’, ‘private, pick up your gun and go kill the enemy snipers who are at location X’ and ‘honey, will you marry me?’

 

[Catholicpotato]

Many a truth is spoken in jest, my friend. By the way I’m a lawyer, so jokes come naturally but combativeness comes in equal measure.

So you’re saying you would label almost any man who allows a woman to propose to him as unmasculine? Because it shows lack of initiative and leadership?

Very well. By that logic any man who EVER waits for a woman to tell him to do anything - even things as simple as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn - is equally unmasculine. For that matter, any man who ever waits for another man to tell him what to do is equally unmasculine.

What is the difference, qualitatively, between being told ‘son, go buy some milk’, ‘private, pick up your gun and go kill the enemy snipers who are at location X’ and ‘honey, will you marry me?’

I fail to see your parallels. I think the relationship between a man and a woman are different and should be treated as such. But I see that my humor is lost on you and I am sorry for that. let bygones be gone?

 

[LilyM]

I fail to see your parallels. I think the relationship between a man and a woman are different and should be treated as such. But I see that my humor is lost on you and I am sorry for that. let bygones be gone?

I appreciate your humour for what it’s worth. But as I said, your comments, humorous though they were, disclose deeper issues that would benefit from discussion.

I don’t like the fact that you made a sweeping generalisation - ‘men should be the ones who propose marriage’ - without, apparently, even thinking about WHY you hold this view, since you didn’t explain it, let alone being open to discussion about the reasons why.

I asked you to disclose the reasons underlying your view, and offered a tentative reasoningh of my own. If you fail to see the parallel I drew, then tell us why you think as you do.

By the way, proposing marriage and being asked by your spouse to do household chores are BOTH part of the relationship between a man and a woman, no? And so that part of the parallel is legitimate at least, isn’t it?

 

[Catholicpotato]

I appreciate your humour for what it’s worth. But as I said, your comments, humorous though they were, disclose deeper issues that would benefit from discussion.

I don’t like the fact that you made a sweeping generalisation - ‘men should be the ones who propose marriage’ - without, apparently, even thinking about WHY you hold this view, since you didn’t explain it, let alone being open to discussion about the reasons why.

I asked you to disclose the reasons underlying your view, and offered a tentative reasoningh of my own. If you fail to see the parallel I drew, then tell us why you think as you do.

By the way, proposing marriage and being asked by your spouse to do household chores are BOTH part of the relationship between a man and a woman, no? And so that part of the parallel is legitimate at least, isn’t it?

I should disclose that I am a man who stays at home with three girls whom I homeschool. I am also a male who likes football wal mart and hunting, along with vacuming and laundry. Careful what you assume. Your stereotypes are showing.

 

[Beth_Cecilia]

I should disclose that I am a man who stays at home with three girls whom I homeschool. I am also a male who likes football wal mart and hunting, along with vacuming and laundry. Careful what you assume. Your stereotypes are showing.

Laundry!! You like to do laundry?? I suspect that tidbit of information was held secret until you proposed to your dear wife, else she would have proposed on the spot.

 

[Et_Cetera]

I once proposed to a beautiful, thin artist. I told him that he could continue to “make art” and wear American Apparel and that I would support him with my good job. I still don’t know if I was serious, but I think that I could have made myself be serious about it. But alas, he chose another hipster, breaking me and causing me to shout, “At least I have to pay taxes!” I like Jim Beam.

 

[Catholicpotato]

Laundry!! You like to do laundry?? I suspect that tidbit of information was held secret until you proposed to your dear wife, else she would have proposed on the spot.

I didnt like it until it became my job once we had kids. Wife is scary smart and a scientist. She lets me be a guy, we have season football tickets to my favorite team and I get to buy camo pants! But I do like laundry now. But I have a rule that causes me to do more laundry than need be. If it hits the floor it is dirty and needs to be washed. My wife tries on several outfits before work and if she does not hang them up… bam in the wash! I do try to make sure that my “guyness” does not carry over to my girls. I think they should wear pink and look pretty. Im probably the only guy you will know that hums dora songs in a tree stand during elk season. My buddies laugh, but they also see how much my girls love me!
In a way we are very non traditional. But deep down, we can also be traditional. I firmly believe that men have been feminized as of late and part of the problems with the world now is the lack of true “knights” for Christ and families. My gilrs will grow up either being nuns or marrying true men. I can guarantee they will not propose!

 

[bhall0689]

My gilrs will grow up either being nuns or marrying true men. I can guarantee they will not propose!

Luckily, we are allowed to make our own decisions, unless your girls are marrying at the age where they need parental approval (let’s hope not!) I hope your girls grow up marrying whoever they love and are meant to be with.

I love my kind, sensitive boyfriend!

 

[Catholicpotato]

Luckily, we are allowed to make our own decisions, unless your girls are marrying at the age where they need parental approval (let’s hope not!) I hope your girls grow up marrying whoever they love and are meant to be with.

I love my kind, sensitive boyfriend!

I should say that I BET my girls look for a strong man. And a charactaristic of a strong man is that he will ask me and then propose. This is not guaranteed but it is what I beieve will happen. There would be open communication between me an my kids as to why this would not be the case. I understand that the traditional is not for everybody (just look at my situation) but I can see why it is the desired.

I love my kind, sensitive boyfriend!

Good! It is definatley a quality that some women look for. BUT just make sure that you afren’t unhappy someday if MIL is trying to but in to your life and parenting and he is quietly melting into a corner. Expect a toy poodle to be a toy poodle and a pitbull to be a pitbull. My wife got lucky and got a golden retriever.

 

[AngryAtheist8]

Would this be permissible in the Catholic Church?

I’m not sure to be honest.

I know what kind of answer (and response) you would get if you posted this question in the Traditional Catholicism section though

 

[LilyM]

I should say that I BET my girls look for a strong man. And a charactaristic of a strong man is that he will ask me and then propose. This is not guaranteed but it is what I beieve will happen. There would be open communication between me an my kids as to why this would not be the case. I understand that the traditional is not for everybody (just look at my situation) but I can see why it is the desired.

Ask you? As in for your permission?

Your daughters are not your property - your permission is not required for their marriage. Nor would a real man ask for it unless, as has been pointed out, they are under legal age where parental permission is reuqired or something.

I can’t think of a bigger guarantee of unhappiness for your daughters than for them to marry men who think that women are the ‘property’ of father, husband or any man, and thinking that feel they have to ask Daddy’s permission.

Good! It is definatley a quality that some women look for. BUT just make sure that you afren’t unhappy someday if MIL is trying to but in to your life and parenting and he is quietly melting into a corner. Expect a toy poodle to be a toy poodle and a pitbull to be a pitbull. My wife got lucky and got a golden retriever.

Well, a woman should be strong enough to be able to stand up to her own mother in law, don’t you think? Why should it be acceptable for HER to quietly melt into a corner and be dependent on hubby to do things like handle MIL?

I like the sermon at the Royal Wedding where the point was made that we cannot be too dependent on other fallible humans to make our happiness for us. And by relying on your husband to do difficult and unpleasant things for you, that is exactly the trap a woman is falling into.

Toy poodle, pitbull or golden retriever, a dog is a dog is a dog and I don’t want any dogs of any description, thank you!

 

[Catholicpotato]

Ask you? As in for your permission?

Your daughters are not your property - your permission is not required for their marriage. Nor would a real man ask for it unless, as has been pointed out, they are under legal age where parental permission is reuqired or something. Um no, I would want the guy to ask for my daughters hand!!! cmon people are we so away from tradition that this isnt what you thought of

I can’t think of a bigger guarantee of unhappiness for your daughters than for them to marry men who think that women are the ‘property’ of father, husband or any man, and thinking that feel they have to ask Daddy’s permission.You are assuming a horrible thing that I in no way believe.

Well, a woman should be strong enough to be able to stand up to her own mother in law, don’t you think? Why should it be acceptable for HER to quietly melt into a corner and be dependent on hubby to do things like handle MIL? It is nice to have a man have your back though.

I like the sermon at the Royal Wedding where the point was made that we cannot be too dependent on other fallible humans to make our happiness for us. And by relying on your husband to do difficult and unpleasant things for you, that is exactly the trap a woman is falling into.Didnt see it

Toy poodle, pitbull or golden retriever, a dog is a dog is a dog and I don’t want any dogs of any description, thank youI guess humor and analogys are lost here!

Im done. Too much estrogen here. Not looking for a fight.

 

[Equites_Christi]

My girlfriend and I have “proposed” to each other a lot -mostly on my part- all of which have gone successfully.

But when the time comes to be for-real, I will be the one proposing.

The only surprise will be how I do it; the fact of my asking will be far from a surprise.