Women should only wear skirts?

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Dear Monica4316:

Respect for women in this country is at an all time low, and much of that is because of the way they dress, Going to class in a t-shirt and jeans does nothing to enhance the dignity of a woman. You, and the majority of other women, dress the way you do today, because someone 50 years ago decided they wanted to dumb down America, and convincing people to be less concerned about how they dress is one way of doing it. If we dress like slobs we soon begin to think like slobs. No discipline of body, no discipline of mind. This situation did not come about by accident, but was a well orchestrated plan to help destroy our Christian society. if you read Colleen Hammond’s book “Dressing With Dignity” you will have a better understanding.

In her article, “The Dignity of True Femininity”, Dr. Anne Marie McDonnell illustrates well the extent of the problem. She says: “For a woman to live according to Catholic teaching in today’s society she needs heroic virtue. Every form of media, including television, movies, magazines, books, computers, music, and theater all assault women’s human dignity, often portraying her in a pornographic manner as an object of lust."

On this point, I will offer you, and any other woman who reads this, a challenge. For two or three weeks, get rid of the t-shirts and slacks and wear a long skirt and nice blouse, or dress, and dress very feminine and lady like ( but not extravagantly), and notice how you are treated by other people, men especially.

Women must learn that men are “wired” differently and the way a woman dresses can have a definite impact on how a man reacts to her.

As an example, if a man is watching a TV talk show or interview, and sees a modestly dressed woman sitting on a chair or couch and she is wearing a dress or skirt that extends several inches below the knees, she is viewed as a total woman and the mans concentration is on her, as a complete person, and on what she is saying or whatever her purpose is for being on that particular show.

However, if you take the same woman and shorten her skirt so that it is two or three inches above the knees, then the man perceives her in a different manner, more as a sexual object. He no longer views her as a whole person. Instead, he sees her as a collection of parts, with some parts drawing more attention than others.

This sexual “evaluation” all takes place in a few seconds in the brain, but has the effect of distracting the man from what she is saying, because her appearance is sending a different message.

Even if they are full length and not tight fitting, a pair of slacks on a woman has the same psychological effect of dividing her up into parts. Again, Mrs. Hammond discusses his male reaction in her book.

Both Scripture and History have shown that when the women of a country are virtuous, the country is strong, but if the moral standards of those women decline, as they have in this country, then the moral standards of men also fall and that society soon begins to sink deeper and deeper into the waters of moral decay.

In times past, most young girls were raised as maidens of virtue and innocence. All aspects of their femininity were cultivated and they emerged from their youthful years as refined young women of modesty, character and grace, possessing all the necessary skills that would one day allow them to assume the important God given role of wife and mother.

Sadly, this is no longer the case in our present day culture. We have done a complete about-face in our attitudes toward sin and God’s laws. To today’s “liberated woman”, the concepts of modesty and feminine loveliness are almost completely foreign.

This idea that women must take the lead in matters of modesty and in guiding men to holiness is not new. I have found such statements in a number of old prayer books and Church writings. Below, I have listed several quotes from it.

The name of this particular book is “Hail Holy Queen, a Book of Prayer and Counsel for Catholic Girls and Women, the Roman Missal for Sundays”, by Fr. Charles J. Callan and Fr. John A. McHugh. They wrote the following:

“If the standards of morals in a country or age is low, you may be sure that it is because the women of that country or age are lax in their morals; for women, being naturally more virtuous than men, are looked up to by men as models in matters pertaining to modesty and purity. This is why the Church is so insistent that women be modest in their dress.” Pg 3

“A woman should never lose respect for her own body, for it is the work of God; it is the instrument and companion of her soul and the temple of the Holy Ghost, destined for future glorification.” Pg. 53

“A woman may not be expensively dressed, or wearing the latest “fad” clothing. She may not have those attractions which are most admired by the world; but if she has the virtues of modesty and purity, she has something that money cannot buy, a treasure which will outlast all the fading glitter of the world.” Pg.53

“Some women are so delightfully neat and stylish that they always appear to be dressed up, however plain and inexpensive her clothes may be. Others there are who look as if they dwell in a region of perpetual cyclones, and whom the entire garment industry could never suffice to make them look dressed up. Try to emulate the better way.” Pg. 4

Hope this helps. God bless
 
Hi…thanks for your post… I agree with what you said about modesty, but I dont think that a tshirt or other “sporty” clothing is immodest… :confused: I might be wrong? 🤷

I’ll try to explain why I tend to dress casually for school.
For example, right now I’m studying for exams. I can’t picture myself getting up after 2 hours of sleep (my exam schedule is that bad 😦 ) and putting on a blouse, skirt, and heels. The only person I’d probably do that for is Jesus, when I dress for church 😃 lol! So I just put on jeans and a sweatshirt, scarf, winter coat, and sit in that (dark) lecture hall for an hour, and then go back to study. Of course if I know Im going out to dinner or something later on that day, I wear something nicer… but when I’m in the middle of studying, I never really think “what do people think of me”, - though of course I wouldn’t wear something revealing or immodest…

I never thought that was morally wrong. (though in terms of fashion, it might be:rolleyes:)

The other issue, is that although I do like skirts and dresses… (I really do, and I think they look nice) most of the time I can’t afford them. (and I can’t really sew). I have a bit of money now, so I can buy a nice skirt for church. But this type of clothing tends to be more expensive, and I usually dont have the money for it. In your last quote, it says that a woman can wear simple clothes and look neat and stylish, and that’s true - but where I live, even a simple skirt costs more than a pair of jeans on sale.

by the way, I don’t in any way see myself as a “liberated woman”, or a feminist, or modernist… I’m actualy very traditional/conservative in my values…

But I will think about all this carefully 🙂 and I’ll pray about it.

God bless
 
I think it’s better if women wear dresses, just my opinion.

In the past if a woman was wearing pants she was probably, quite literally, wearing a man’s clothing. These days they make women’s pants and there is nothing wrong with a woman wearing them. Just like it’s ok for a Scotsman to wear a kilt.
 
I think it’s better if women wear dresses, just my opinion.

In the past if a woman was wearing pants she was probably, quite literally, wearing a man’s clothing. These days they make women’s pants and there is nothing wrong with a woman wearing them. Just like it’s ok for a Scotsman to wear a kilt.
hmm that is true…

I really need to pray about this whole topic
 
I also wanted to say, if I’m wrong, then I hope God shows me, so that I can serve Him more faithfully. I’m open to the possibility that I’m wrong.

God bless
 
Please share your thoughts 🙂
especially about St Padre Pio…

clearly men can wear shorts outside of the Mass, and women dont’ have to ALWAYS wear the veil… so maybe it’s the same with trousers? However, of course immodest clothing should not be ever worn.
Have also read Colleen Hammond’s book Dressing with Dignity.

I’ve been changing how I dress, though very slowly, since I’ve read this book and heard what St. Padre Pio said.

I like the maxi-skirt look, so I have a handful of them, mostly in twill, designed as jean-skirts, and in winter I wear leggings or thermal undies under them. I wear ankle boots with them or kitten heels. Also wear tops with them, not just the skirts! (sorry, couldn’t resist…)

I like the idea that by embracing feminine dress that women re-claim their own power and that men treat them better. And men like to be chivalrous, even if they won’t admit it. I especially like the idea that if women were to act with more morality and were to hold men to higher standards, that men would be compelled to do so.

However, I don’t like being dressed up, with the stockings and heels and lace and ruffles and such…but I feel better about myself in one of my longer casual dresses or maxi-skirts and tops than I do than when wearing jeans and stuff or workout clothes.

I believe Colleen Hammond’s book suggested something about dressing as a holy woman would, not in sack-like clothing but in tasteful, feminine, modest clothing.

I think there’s a lot of controversy about this sort of feminine dress because it would require CHANGE and who doesn’t resist change plus the giving in of their will to that of God’s.

my two cents…sorry to go on…please take or leave what you like…
 
I just want to know first if this is God’s will. How does He see things? I agree with dressing modestly… but does that always mean skirts? that is my dilemma 🙂
 
I just want to know first if this is God’s will. How does He see things? I agree with dressing modestly… but does that always mean skirts? that is my dilemma 🙂
In our society today I believe it is God’s will to wear modest skirts, but I’d never judge another woman for wearing pants. And I wouldn’t impose a “skirts only” rule on my daughters, although I encourage it and do sort of insist for Mass that they wear skirts. And if they want to wear pants at other times, then nothing too tight.

Certainly around the house it’s okay to wear say, sweatpants on a cold night. But in public I’m inclined to think it’s right to dress a certain way. It’s right to dress in a way that clearly defines our femininity and a sense of modesty. If it’s very cold, leggings or warm tights along with the skirt are just as good as pants.

But, this is obviously not dogma, just my personal opinion.
 
I’d say generally, no pants, ever.

If you want to wear something pantslike that covers the legs under a skirt I think that is likely OK, as long as the skirt is of the minimum length that is enough inches below the knee that if you sit, move around, you are still covering below the knees sufficiently. Anything higher is problematic.

Frankly I think full length is the best always.

My impression of what St. Padre Pio would say about this, is that he would insist on only skirts, and that any shilly shallying, trying for something inbetweenish, would have him gruffly say, “Enough shilly shallying! Dress modestly not like the rest! Why are you quibbling so much my daughter? Get going!” 😃

Of course I am not St. Padre Pio, so I can only say this based on my experience with what he has to say, and his personality.
 
I still dont really see what’s immodest about pants… hmm…

and if the problem is that pants are ‘men’s clothing’, and if that’s a sin according to Deut., why is it not a teaching of the Church that women should wear only skirts/dresses?

just an honest question…
 
I still dont really see what’s immodest about pants… hmm…

and if the problem is that pants are ‘men’s clothing’, and if that’s a sin according to Deut., why is it not a teaching of the Church that women should wear only skirts/dresses?

just an honest question…
If you look in the CCCV, there are fairly clear answers. If you search in the apologists section of the forum, they discuss them there too.

What they have said is this.

Women should not cross dress. But in our culture, pants on a woman are not cross-dressing. Even a woman wearing men’s pants is not cross-dressing unless she intends to be mistaken for a man, or to try to say there is really no difference between men and women.

Modesty in clothing is about respect for the body, and understanding it’s holiness and true nature. How this is shown differs from one culture to another. The human body is sexual, but is not only a sexual object. There is nothing wrong with it being sexual or recognizing that, or finding someone attractive. And inevitably, we will sometimes feel sexual attraction to others, and this is not a bad thing, but more of a neutral thing. But we are not to try to create this kind of attraction inappropriately by wearing clothes that are designed to be provocative, or by cultivating an inappropriate interest in contemplating the attractiveness of others.

We do sin agaonst modesty, and other things, when we reduce the human body to being only a sexual object. THis can happen in two, seemingly incompatible ways. One is to do it blatantly, by making other people into overt objects of sexual desire, through provocative clothing, behavior, emphasis on sexual prowess, etc. We fail to see other aspects to the person’s body and personality and soul, or don’t give them enough attention.

We can also do it by covering the body and not allowing it to be seen because it is only seen sexually, by an overly strict interpretation of modesty. Again, this fails to see anything other than sex as being characteristic of the human body.

In both cases the body is reduced to sexuality alone. In the former, that is seen as good. In the latter, it is seen as bad. But both really fail to understand that sexuality is a good when understood correctly, and that the body has many aspects to it that are non-sexual.

So one needs to walk a bit of a line. And because we are in a culture that errs in both directions, it can be difficult.

FWIW, Padre Pio is not, in my estimation, a good guide for this, in that he seems to create far more confusion than anything, and doesn’t at all address how culture plays a role. So it is difficult to take what he actually said and did and adapt it to circumstances in this area. And tat is actually assuming he was right in his approach to modesty for his own time and place.
 
Hi 🙂

This is sort of a controversial question… but I’m just wondering.

I was reading about modesty and came across this page about St Padre Pio:
catholicmodesty.com/PadrePio.html

I greatly respect Padre Pio and I agree with him about dressing modestly in church. I also feel lead to wear a skirt at Mass (though I don’t want to judge others who wear pants. This is just a personal decision. I also try to cover my head as I can).

But is he saying that women should ALWAYS wear skirts, or only in church? Is it alright for women to wear (modest) pants outside of Mass? for example I’m a student, and I can’t imagine dressing up for my 8:30 class… I usually just wear a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans for school.

However, some people are saying that women should *only ever *wear skirts and dresses. They always cite this verse:
A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

I’ve always thought this means not be a cross dresser, or try to appear as the opposite gender. Which of course I don’t. But back then in Biblical times, didn’t men wear robes, etc, not pants?? So is this culturally defined? Today, there are women’s pants and man’s pants. They look different… is it alright for women to wear women’s pants, as long as they are not immodest? (for example, I sometimes wear jeans with a long sweater/shirt or a short dress, so the clothing is not tight looking. And I don’t dress in a revealing way).

Please share your thoughts 🙂
especially about St Padre Pio… I’m interested now… was he talking only about Church? (I agree with dressing very respectfully/modestly in Church, though sometimes I have trouble finding the right clothing so I need to go shopping lol:o)

I tend to think that he was just talking about Church, because of the quote:

clearly men can wear shorts outside of the Mass, and women dont’ have to ALWAYS wear the veil… so maybe it’s the same with trousers? However, of course immodest clothing should not be ever worn.

thanks!!
You know its weird you mention this, because I think what your getting to goes beyond the ‘dress modestly for church’…There is a church group, in Gilroy, and the majority of the members are hispanic, but come directly from Mexico. My ‘sister’, her brothers wife is a member of this church, along with her entire family. I hope I dont confuse anyone with this.

Anyways, her nephew comes over and he’s wearing a Jewish star of David on a gold chain. And, perplexed, I asked him why, they are christians…he says that his mom says that we (meaning myself, my friend, the family catholics) are wrong because we pray to the cross, or wear the cross…they are against the symbol of the cross…but they ARE christians, AND, ALL of them wear skirts- and ONLY skirts, NEVER pants, jeans…etc…they dont cover their heads though. I looked em’ up on the internet one time to see WHAT type of christian it is, but, most of it was in spanish so…🤷

But there is most definitely a church out there where they preach that, that women should ONLY wear skirts…and at all times, not only IN church.

dont think that was much help to you…but…just had to chime in…
 
Reading this thread, it seems I have to break the bad news to my wife that she can no longer be Catholic. She works as a nurse every other weekend and the length of her shift is such that on those weekends there is ONE Mass available… 3/4 mile away and 5 minutes after her shift ends. On those days, she wears her nursing uniform as she does not have an opportunity to change clothing. If skirts are necessary, she cannot meet her obligation to attend Mass on those days.

And every so often one of our parishioner brother or sisters feels obligated to “correct” her on this behavior. And every time it happens, she invites them to come with her to hear what the Pastor has to say about it, and has yet to have a single taker.

So what do I tell her is more important - wearing a skirt or meeting your obligation for Mass?
Maybe she can be an every-other weekend Catholic, what do you think?
 
I still dont really see what’s immodest about pants… hmm…

and if the problem is that pants are ‘men’s clothing’, and if that’s a sin according to Deut., why is it not a teaching of the Church that women should wear only skirts/dresses?

just an honest question…
Well, I’m pretty sure the catholic dress code goes beyond ‘dont wear low cut shirts or high cut skirts’…Theres a line I heard somewhere, hopefully I’ll put it together right, 'that women should not wear clothes that show the bodies ‘curves’ <—for lack of better words.

In other words you could be covered HEAD to TOE, but if the cloth is SPANDEX it doesnt do you much good now does it?!? LOL…

And no…I dont think that pants are really immodest…but they do have those jeans now that are half what? lycra?? the streeetch jeans…I think its that were not supposed to accentuate parts that God intended to be only for our Husbands viewing/enjoyment…

and I think you were right when you mentioned it might be more like cross dressing. that makes a whoooole lot more sense to me. and if you think about it, back then a woman wearing pants WOULD have been cross dressing, right?
 
Well, besides the statements against it we do have…

I think a good argument can be made both from the timeless standpoint, i.e. in general women everywhere, did nowhere acceptably as a standard wear pants throughout Church history, and so this is now an aberration, and the simple fact that it is implicitly understood to be wrong.

I.e., the rules of modesty themselves prohibit it, i.e. because of the problems caused – so an explicit statement against it is not directly necessary for it to be understood to be not done by a faithful person.

So you can consider it the teaching of the Church not to wear them, because until recently no one did, it was not done. And now that it is being done, it is only being done in a time of great corruption, and so, even if voices against it are muted, this is because the voices are generally muted against all kinds of problems.

I am sure there are many articles written against them being worn both in secular and in church publications in the past, it is simply that this advice unheeded, the cultural problems moved on into even deeper waters, which we are now in.

God help us to recover our Catholic cultural roots and stand up to it. 😃
 
Dear Monica, It is not necessary to wear heels. You can do everything you just mentioned in a long skirt. As far as cost, you can find many nice skirts and dresses at Goodwill or other second hand shops. Again, get a copy of “Dressing with Dignity”, by Colleen Hammond.

See the following quote from scripture: “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.” (Deut 22:5).
 
Okay… thanks everyone 🙂
I’m going to pray about this. I’ll pray to St Padre Pio too 🙂
cause it seems everyone is saying different things, but everyone has a good point! lol!

I want to also say that I struggle with scrupulosity sometimes, and Im the type of person who would think that i’m going to hell cause I wore sweatpants to do my math homework in my room. I mean… if wearing pants is an ‘abomination to the Lord’ it must be a real sin?? So it’s really important that I find a good balance here so I don’t…go crazy. 😛

I keep on thinking, if this was such a serious sin, wouldn’t the Church have said something?

I wish I could understand for sure what the Deut. verse is saying. I’ve always thought it means: don’t cross dress. If you’re a woman, don’t look like a man. And in our culture, if you wear pants with a blouse, no one is going to think you’re a man. So my understand was that it’s perfectly alright to wear pants, as long as they’re not too tight, and as long as the shirt is long enough (covers the hips at least part way)

I don’t want to be immodest, or offend God in any way, and I do like the idea of wearing skirts (I’ll try to find some nice ones :))… but I don’t think it’s necessary to dress in floor length dresses to be modest either… there needs to be some sort of balance.

I’m really tired right now cause I’ve been up almost all night studying for my exam… (and posting here in my breaks ;))

So I’m going to go get some sleep and then think about this some more, and pray 🙂 I really want to find the truth on this matter.
thanks again for all your replies…

God bless
 
You have my prayers! Ave Maria! Jesus bless us!

You’re not alone out there, many people are trying to find more modest solutions, and trying to learn what is best. Here’s a blog and here’s another. I won’t necessarily say they’re perfect, but it’s good to see work being done and I think also among the women who wear headcoverings especially you will find some supporters for skirts instead of anything else. 🙂

So there’ll friends helpful if you take the step. 🙂
 
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