Wonderful Qualities of your Spouse

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mt_gooseberry

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I see so much complaining about spouses on this board (me included!) that I thought it would be nice to do a little bit of bragging to balance things out. So what makes your spouse great?

I love how my spouse never pressures me with sex. He knows I like it and that I give him as much as our kids/health/level of exhaustion/NFP allows. I really appreciate that he doesn’t pout when he doesn’t get it frequently.

He is such a hard worker! There are often times when he has to get up in the middle of the night to go bale hay, or has to wake up at 4 am to get to work, or puts in 16 hrs, and he just does it and hardly complains.

He always stops to help people on the side of the road, and never accepts money for his assistance. The other day some guy lost his hubcap and DH drove up and down the highway looking for it, even though he was on his way home from a long day at work.

He adores his children.

He is so handy! He is one of those guys who can fix anything, use any kind of machine…it just amazes me his depth of hands-on knowledge.

He loves his mom.

He is one of the friendliest people I have ever met.

Now it’s your turn!
 
My husband is a good listener and makes astute observations. He is a good communicator.

He is willing to admit his mistakes and work hard to be a better man. He works hard to provide for his family, yet isn’t a workaholic nor excessively concerned about his “image” at work.

He has worked hard to learn how to back me up when conflict with family occurs, but is very diplomatic about it.

He is an affectionate husband, attentive lover, and Involved hands-on father. He is an amazing birth coach and has always been the only one I want with me, besides the OB or midwife, when I deliver.

He is tall, dark and handsome, with piercing hazel eyes. He is fun, charming, outgoing, with a great sense of humor. Yet he laughs at my feeble attempts at humor (mostly puns).

He wholeheartedly embraced the Catholic faith and converted with me. He practices his faith in such a trusting, laid-back way that it inspires me. He learns to appreciate what interests me and helps me to understand his passions.

He has never made me feel stupid or small. He supports me in being a SAHM. He supported me in homeschooling our kids, and he supports me now in putting them back in the parochial school.

He doesn’t balk at changing diapers, washing dishes, cooking or cleaning. If it needs doing, and he sees it needs doing, or if I ask for help, he just quietly steps up and does it. I always try to make sure I thank him, as well as use the freed-up time and energy on time spent with him.

He is my best friend. He has always been faithful. He still tells me I am pretty, even after almost 15 years of marriage and three kids.

I could go on, but I will stop here. I look forward to seeing what other wives post here. Thanks for starting such a great thread, mt_gooseberry.
 
Sorry I can’t contribute, but I wanted to say “Good thread!”
 
My wife is easy going and generally very slow to anger (although our oldest daughter can seem to press the right buttons sometimes).

She usually assumes the best of other people; she rarely considers that people have cynical motives.

She never criticises me for my hobbies and helps me pursue them within reason.

She is supportive when I’ve had a bad day at work and knows when to back off or take on tasks when I need a bit of a break.

She appreciates the need for physical affection/intimacy and makes an effort, even with tiredness and dealing with four children.

And many other qualities I find hard to put into works…

Now, where’s the thread for listing negative qualities? 😛
 
My wife is kind and outgoing where I am more quiet and reserved. She is always reaching out to someone who is ill or recovering from something.

We are different religions and we both appreciate wisdom and insights offered by the other spouse’s religion / pastor. She reminds me to seek strength from the only source of strength, Jesus Christ.

She is supportive of my dreams and hobbies. I know people who have to sneak off to the ocean to surf. I don’t have that problem. My wife’s only concern is for my safety. She reminds me to vacation and enjoy life as I have a propensity for work and the next project.

She is not jealous, although I am careful not to put myself into situations where that would be an issue.

She is optimistic and her cooking is healthy and delicious. We cook for each other.

Neither of us eats junk.

She is careful with our finances.

She has expanded my involvement in the arts including opera, ballet, and my appreciation for impressionist works. I now actually like going to art museums instead of just the usual guy stuff like the air and space / spy museums.

We both love movies and the beach.
 
I think my wife is the most beautiful creature on the planet!

She is thrifty and detailed. She manages the checking account and I trust her totally there. I’ve seen her squeeze 6 pennies out of a nickel! 😃

She is determined and strong-willed and once she sets her mind to something, she will accomplish it (…is it any wonder I wish she’d work on our marriage!!! :p)

She is tremedously patient with the children, especially when they were infants. Now as they are getting older, I can see her buttons getting pushed occasionally. But she still adores them and sacrifices for them.

There aren’t any physical tasks she’s not willing to undertake. In the past, I’ve asked her to help me move refrigerators, stoves, boats and perform other manual tasks. She’s right there with her work gloves on ready to go. Plus she’s a great painter! I’ll end up splattering paint everywhere, but she can cut an edge like a pro.

She very organized which counters my managment style of specific piles in specific places. In the past, she’s got me organized for a variety of things.

She is a natural at photography. She has a keen eye and understands photo composition without any formal education or direction. She can just pick up and camera and frame the scene perfectly. I always let her arrange everyone for family photos!

She does listen to me. I can blather on for hours about the most esoteric things and she’ll listen. However, I don’t know if she’s paying attention or balancing the checkbook in her head! 😉

My list is endless…so I’ll stop here.
 
Saturn5 said:
She does listen to me. I can blather on for hours about the most esoteric things and she’ll listen. However, I don’t know if she’s paying attention or balancing the checkbook in her head! 😉
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When you see her eyes glaze over, that’s a hint.;)😃

Good post.👍
 
Although my husband has many fine qualities, the one thing I appreciate most on a day-to-day basis is that he does not make a big deal out of things that do not have to be a big deal.
 
My husband is good at fixing things. He can drive a car, which I can’t, (which makes sure that I can go to places, which I would never have been able to go.) He forced me to take an interest in computers, when I had no intention of ever going near one. This has led me to use my talents for teaching, by having a personal website, a blog and has come in useful in a number of other areas of my life.
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Learn ways to help the Holy Soul in Purgatory and read testimonies of their powerful intercession for their benefactors

Read my book on answers to prayers Part one and Part two
 
Awesome thread -

My husband loves my children like they are his own.

He balances me very well in temperament and parenting approach. I tend to be soft and nurture them, while he pushes them to be more independent and responsible.

He challenges me on what I think, be it politics or religion.

When we get upset with each other, he quickly diffuses the situation with humor. When we have a knock-down, drag-out, he does the same thing. Whenever we have had a knock-down, drag-out, we have always joked about it the next day with new inside jokes specific to that fight.

He is very patient with my quirks and tries his best to take care of me, even when I am being irrational.

Even though he is agnostic, he’s down with the open-to-life thing.

Also, even though he is agnostic, he shares my irritation with people that don’t practice their faith 100%.

Further, even though he is agnostic, and he does challenge me on Catholicism, there is zero tension on this issue in our home. Kids are Catholic (like Mom), and Dad doesn’t believe the same way we do (just like many other people in the world), and that’s just the way it is; no muss, no fuss.

He is also not needlessly jealous. Occasionally he will get a bad vibe about a budding friendship of mine, and I will respect it and cut off contact. But 98% of the time he is 100% comfortable with me having male friends.

Also along these lines, he does not give me reason to be jealous of him. He is very open about his female friends, and I know that I can read his texts any time. I don’t, but the point is that I can. Likewise, he knows he can read my texts any time. He doesn’t, but the point is that he can.

He is very affectionate, which is something I deeply need. And he’s just so darn comfortable to cuddle with. (Although that can be a bad thing when I have to get up for work. :D)
 
My husband is creative. He is always thinking of new ways to do things, new projects, new ways to solve problems.

He is an entrepreneur. He wants to do things his own way, in his own time, with his own power. And he does get things done. He does more than 5 people with an average energy level.

He has an impish sense of humor that is unexpected for someone who is usually very intense and serious.

He’s handsome.

He’s generous with our resources, does not begrudge me anything I want to buy for myself (neither of us is a spendthrift, though).

He is careful with money, and is a saver, not a waster. We are both “maximizers,” always looking for the most value for our money.

He loves our sons very deeply, and wants the best for them.
 
My husband is tall, dark, and handsome. When he smiles, he has the cutest dimples. He has the most exquisite green eyes. He is hairy like Tom Selleck (which I love). He has broad shoulders and a naturally well-defined chest. And being a foot person, I can tell you that he has really good-looking feet.

He is honest, patient, and generous with us. He works really hard to provide for a wife, two sons, and three stepchildren. He is a very smart person and excels at his profession.

My husband went down a really, really bad path when he moved away from home. I say this because he has worked ridiculously hard to change that. In a few short years he left the bad influences he hung with, got a degree, got a killer job, and has grown as a person and as a father. I am so proud of him I can’t say.

Come to think of it, I remember now why I fell in love with this guy.

God bless you for this thread. :hug1:
 
I’m only 19 and not married, but these really warmed my heart. I hope someday God blesses me with a husband like those written about here. You all sound like really lucky people. 👍
 
spellinggirl said:
I’m only 19 and not married, but these really warmed my heart. I hope someday God blesses me with a husband like those written about here. You all sound like really lucky people. 👍
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Aww - that’s so sweet!

If I may say, though - if you commit to looking at and appreciating the good things in your husband, it goes along way toward keeping the relationship positive.

What also helps is if you find someone who is committed to doing his part to keep the relationship healthy. That helps a great deal - for me and my husband, even right in the middle of a knock-down, drag-out fight, we both know that neither one of us is going anywhere, so we better fix this.
 
My husband is the best in the world. I could go on to describe various things about him, but that would read pretty much like other people’s posts–and he isn’t like other people. So I will just quote Jane Eyre. This describes my marriage.

“I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest–blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband’s life as fully is he is mine. No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I am: ever more absolutely bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. I know no weariness of my Edward’s society: he knows none of mine, any more than we each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in our separate bosoms; consequently, we are ever together. To be together is for us to be at once as free as in solitude, as gay as in company. We talk, I believe, all day long: to talk to each other is but a more animated and an audible thinking. All my confidence is bestowed on him, all his confidence is devoted to me; we are precisely suited in character–perfect concord is the result.”
 
Back when my husband and I had been dating for 6 months, I made him a whole list of things I like about him. Five and a half years later i can still say all these things about him are just as true now as they were when I first wrote them.
  1. You are handsome
  2. You are kind
  3. You are intelligent
  4. You are a good person
  5. You are polite to everyone
  6. You are unique (in a very good way)
  7. You have a strong set of morals and values
  8. You are virtuous
  9. You are just the right amount of “shy”… not too much, not too little
  10. You don’t drink
  11. You don’t smoke
  12. You asked for permission before putting your arm around me for the first time
  13. You treat everyone with respect
  14. You are friendly
  15. You are pure-hearted
  16. You are an eagle scout
  17. You trust me completely, as I trust you completely
  18. You are adventurous
  19. You are fun
  20. You are funny
  21. You are kinda dorky… in a good way
  22. You are honest
  23. You are genuine
  24. You are the most amazing boy I’ve ever known
  25. You make me smile
  26. You make me laugh
  27. You make me want to be a better person
  28. You always ask me if your “hand is okay”
  29. You are just like an angel… except I can hug you
  30. You are completely content with just cuddling
  31. Your eyes are beautiful
  32. Your lips are amazing
  33. Your smile is perfect
  34. You always let me borrow your shirts when mine get wet
  35. You waited until you got to know me a bit before saying “you’re beautiful”
  36. You laugh with me when I laugh about stupid things
  37. You are humble
  38. You are laid back
  39. You set goals, and achieve them
  40. You are cute
  41. You are hot
  42. You have the rare ability to be both at the same time
  43. We always laugh together
  44. We get along great
  45. We share the same faith
  46. You don’t try to impress people
  47. You can fly
  48. You are brave
  49. You are confident
  50. You are strong
  51. You graced me with the honor of giving you your first real kiss
  52. You always have good stories to tell me
  53. You have a very nice voice
  54. You have a good head on your shoulders
  55. You are mature
  56. You are honorable
  57. You are faithful to God
  58. You genuinely care about others, always
  59. You make a suit and a tie look like God’s gift to sex appeal
  60. You have made me the luckiest lady alive by asking me to be your girlfriend : )
 
I left out one thing.

My wife has always backed me in my career 100%. Long and unpredictable hours or night work was never an issue for her.

I owe whatever success I have achieved to her backing and my parent’s backing.

She has backed me even though I cannot say that I have done the same.

When we were starting out, I convinced her not to finish her doctorate because I “would provide”. That is the biggest mistake I ever made in marriage. I have tried to make up for that since that time. She got another doctorate later, retirement plan I set up, $, gifts, etc.
However, although my wife has had a successful career, she would likely have been more successful had I supported her at that critical time.

I know this thread is about good qualities in your spouse. However, we should always try to be worthy of those qualities, and the more we stay close to God and make sure our “advice” is about what is good for our spouse and not “about me”, then the more likely that one day someone will write something nice about us.
 
Yeah I left out one thing about my hubby -

He kills bugs and relocates lizards to the outdoors. He scoops frogs out of the pool and disposes of the dog’s “kills” without complaining.
 
This is the most beautiful thread!!!

My husband is incredible, for an insane amount of reasons, but specifically I had a terrible nightmare last night regarding our pregnancy and woke up in a fit of tears. He sat up with me until I stopped crying and craddled me in his arms till I fell asleep. He makes me feel so safe, loved and protected! I am so grateful God is letting me spend my life with him! ❤️
 
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