Wondering if anyone out there has had similar problem?

[FMLJoliecouer]

I am a baptized adult (RC) and in my 40’s. Was baptized as an infant…adopted out of faith and found out in my twenties I was baptized RC. Started going to a RC parish over a year ago. Suffer from serious mental health issues and have my whole life…
Want to be in full communion with the church but am worried I may not be able to ever receive the sacraments, because of my mental health issues…mainly mood disorders…clinical depression with bouts of psychosis and anxiety…

I cannot become confirmed until I go through the RCIA…and even then…I have another stumbling block and am not able to deal with it now. My priest is concerned that I never got an enulment from my first marriage(which is denfintely not valid)and I recently broke up with my common-law spouse back in February. If we ever decided to get back together I would need an enulment first so I was free to marry him.

Has anyone out there with mental health issues ever been denied receiving the sacraments because of their illness? My priest knows I have a mental illness…but I dont feel he realizes that its not something that ever goes away…since Ive been struggling since my teens) He said at one point…I should wait til I no longer have depression before becoming a full member of the church.
I am on meds, receive counselling and so on…but I still have breaks from reality…believed to be caused by the anxiety and depression, although I may still have a mental illness not yet diagnosed…as my psychiatrist seems to think

ANy words of wisdom or hope would be greatly appreciated

 

[jc-servant]

Your priest is not telling you his opinion or making a judgment about you in telling you to start the annullment process. It has nothing to do with mental illness. I have been a sponsor 6 times for RCIA and I would tell you to get the matter taken care of as soon as you are able. You are not in a position to say whether your first marriage was sacramental or not and neither is your priest or anyone on this forum. You must take the correct action and follow the process the church has given for having your case reviewed. Only then can you know for sure when you get the results from the official decision the church will provide.

I hope that you will be able to listen to your priest when he tries to help you in your return to the church without thinking that he is judging you about your mental illness. If you have a close friend who might be able to sit with you and talk about what your priest wants you to do later, it might help. Your priest may not understand mental illnesses or you may have misunderstood something he said because you were nervous or worried or feeling defensive during the conversation. It can happen to anyone and cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. You could also try asking for clarification in an email or letter so that you can read it more than once or have someone else look also to be sure that you and your priest are not just having a misunderstanding.

There are some basic mental requirements in order to participate in the sacraments, but simply having depression would not normally be a problem. It sounds like you may have some psychosis as you mentioned a break from reality and that could be what concerns the priest. If your diocese has an office that works with people who have disabilities, then perhaps they could provide more specific help to you.
God Bless!

 

[japhy]

I am a baptized adult (RC) and in my 40’s. Was baptized as an infant…adopted out of faith and found out in my twenties I was baptized RC. … I cannot become confirmed until I go through the RCIA…

That is untrue. You have been baptized, thus, you are a Christian. You do not need the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.

All that is necessary for you to receive the sacrament of Confirmation is for a bishop (or a priest to whom he has given permission) to celebrate the sacrament for you. It is desirable, of course, that you are educated in your faith and are aware of exactly what the sacrament is and does, but none of us merits the sacraments. They are encounters with the grace of God.

 

[FMLJoliecouer]

Your priest is not telling you his opinion or making a judgment about you in telling you to start the annullment process. It has nothing to do with mental illness. I have been a sponsor 6 times for RCIA and I would tell you to get the matter taken care of as soon as you are able. You are not in a position to say whether your first marriage was sacramental or not and neither is your priest or anyone on this forum. You must take the correct action and follow the process the church has given for having your case reviewed. Only then can you know for sure when you get the results from the official decision the church will provide.

I hope that you will be able to listen to your priest when he tries to help you in your return to the church without thinking that he is judging you about your mental illness. If you have a close friend who might be able to sit with you and talk about what your priest wants you to do later, it might help. Your priest may not understand mental illnesses or you may have misunderstood something he said because you were nervous or worried or feeling defensive during the conversation. It can happen to anyone and cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. You could also try asking for clarification in an email or letter so that you can read it more than once or have someone else look also to be sure that you and your priest are not just having a misunderstanding.

There are some basic mental requirements in order to participate in the sacraments, but simply having depression would not normally be a problem. It sounds like you may have some psychosis as you mentioned a break from reality and that could be what concerns the priest. If your diocese has an office that works with people who have disabilities, then perhaps they could provide more specific help to you.
God Bless!

Thanks, but I dont think my priest was judging me…and as far as the enulment goes…
I am in no way able to go through the process for mental health reasons… which would take too long to try to explain.

I have told my priest it is unlikely I will get back together with my former common-law spouse…and the feeling is mutual between us. My priest knows this too, but he is away now for a few months so therer is lots of time.
Also, I have read the conditions that make a marriage valid in the eyes of the church and both my priest and I have discussed it and it is obvious to both, it wasnt valid…but I know it has to go before a tribunal and there is a formal process.
I was trying to find out if anyone out there with mental health problems has had difficulty in receiving the sacraments…and if so…how did they handle it.

 

[DEXTRA_DOMINI]

I have a friend that had some mental problems primarily from a very disturbing childhood and life events in her early years, that came through RCIA. I don’t know all the specifics but during sessions she often rambled on and kind of lost control but the RCIA team worked well with her, supporting her, and everyone pitched in to make her feel welcome and she did accomplish coming into full communion with the Church. I don’t exactly know how severe your concerns are, but hers where definitely noticeable and unpredictable but no one seem to mind. We all helped and supported her to the best of our ability in sessions and out of sessions whenever she needed help.

Just remember, we are you brothers and sisters, and we won’t judge you, we love you. In RCIA they will assign you a sponsor who will help you through the process and the others will all be there for you, to help you through the process. You’ll never be alone and will have a great support group assisting you.

Have you given it a try yet?

(by the way I am Part of the RCIA team at my Parish)…

 

[FMLJoliecouer]

I have a friend that had some mental problems primarily from a very disturbing childhood and life events in her early years, that came through RCIA. I don’t know all the specifics but during sessions she often rambled on and kind of lost control but the RCIA team worked well with her, supporting her, and everyone pitched in to make her feel welcome and she did accomplish coming into full communion with the Church. I don’t exactly know how severe your concerns are, but hers where definitely noticeable and unpredictable but no one seem to mind. We all helped and supported her to the best of our ability in sessions and out of sessions whenever she needed help.

Just remember, we are you brothers and sisters, and we won’t judge you, we love you. In RCIA they will assign you a sponsor who will help you through the process and the others will all be there for you, to help you through the process. You’ll never be alone and will have a great support group assisting you.

Have you given it a try yet?

(by the way I am Part of the RCIA team at my Parish)…

Thanks for the reply…and yes I have been through the initial part of the RCIA…last sept til dec 2009. I didnt continue at that time. Nobody really knows, except a couple people who have mental health issues. Although my symtoms were worse in my 20’s , I was never diagnosed, so that was that. They though I had depression…but that doesnt explain alot of problems I was having and have once again.

I do not feel so sure I will have alot of support…The priest just thinks of me as someone with a good imagination, and gets mad at me sometimes and kicks me out of his office…and the f******** pastoral care asst sees me as being needy…
THe last church I went to (the United) , people actually got to know me and knew a little more about my struggles…
I am really fustrated and do not think I even want to go back sometimes…but Jesus wants me…so how can I say no…
I ended up using this post as a vent…I am sorry…I do not need anything…I just needed to say my peace…thanks for reading…

 

[5Loaves]

I am a baptized adult (RC) and in my 40’s. …
Want to be in full communion with the church but am worried I may not be able to ever receive the sacraments, because of my mental health issues…mainly mood disorders…clinical depression with bouts of psychosis and anxiety…

Although my symtoms were worse in my 20’s ,** I was never diagnosed, so that was that.** They though I had depression…but that doesnt explain alot of problems I was having and have once again.

I do not feel so sure I will have alot of support….The priest just thinks of me as someone with a good imagination, and gets mad at me sometimes and kicks me out of his office……and the f******** pastoral care asst sees me as being needy…

I’m not clear here whether you are self diagnosed or did eventually get a clinical diagnosis for your problems.

In any case I hope you will find some help here and that you will continue towards your goal of receiving your sacraments.

I have a number of friends and family members who have been diagnosed with various mental health problems. I sincerely encourage you to continue to seek qualified professional help. If you’re not already familiar with the Catholic Psychotherapy Association (CPA) you can look there for resources.

As frustrating as may be your experience with your pastor, without knowing the content of your talks etc. few pastors have time to spend in extended conversations with parishioners on a regular basis. Your pastor is perhaps simply setting appropriate boundaries for what he can and cannot address with you. If you are working with a mental health professional that would be important for your pastor to know. And I would not doubt that you are in your pastors prayers.

Often the resources are not at the parish level but at the level of the Diocese. The chancery, the office of your Diocese or Archdiocese is the better place to look for help. There should be a ministry at the level of the Diocese for persons with mental illness as part of their Special Needs Ministries. Unless you live in a very isolated area there ought to be this.

The National Catholic Partnership on Disability section on Welcomed and Valued: Mental Illness Resource has a number of resources.

This article Through a glass darkly: How Catholics struggle with mental illness may give you some ideas about how other communities of Catholics are dealing with mental illness issues, the parishioners, their friends and family members and larger faith community.

Others have already pointed out that RCIA is not the path for a baptized Catholic to take to receive their sacraments of Confirmation and first Holy Communion. Catholics have a separate formation process to prepare for receiving those sacraments from their bishop.

I applaud you for bringing your concerns to the CAF. These can be very difficult illnesses. Your desire to move forward towards reception of the Sacraments is an indication of the graces you have received and your response to God’s love for you. I’m always a firm believer in working from one’s strengths so I strongly encourage you to give thanks for these desires and to plow, or inch, forward to the next step.

 

[FMLJoliecouer]

I’m not clear here whether you are self diagnosed or did eventually get a clinical diagnosis for your problems.

In any case I hope you will find some help here and that you will continue towards your goal of receiving your sacraments.

I have a number of friends and family members who have been diagnosed with various mental health problems. I sincerely encourage you to continue to seek qualified professional help. If you’re not already familiar with the Catholic Psychotherapy Association (CPA) you can look there for resources.

As frustrating as may be your experience with your pastor, without knowing the content of your talks etc. few pastors have time to spend in extended conversations with parishioners on a regular basis. Your pastor is perhaps simply setting appropriate boundaries for what he can and cannot address with you. If you are working with a mental health professional that would be important for your pastor to know. And I would not doubt that you are in your pastors prayers.

Often the resources are not at the parish level but at the level of the Diocese. The chancery, the office of your Diocese or Archdiocese is the better place to look for help. There should be a ministry at the level of the Diocese for persons with mental illness as part of their Special Needs Ministries. Unless you live in a very isolated area there ought to be this.

The National Catholic Partnership on Disability section on Welcomed and Valued: Mental Illness Resource has a number of resources.

This article Through a glass darkly: How Catholics struggle with mental illness may give you some ideas about how other communities of Catholics are dealing with mental illness issues, the parishioners, their friends and family members and larger faith community.

Others have already pointed out that RCIA is not the path for a baptized Catholic to take to receive their sacraments of Confirmation and first Holy Communion. Catholics have a separate formation process to prepare for receiving those sacraments from their bishop.

I applaud you for bringing your concerns to the CAF. These can be very difficult illnesses. Your desire to move forward towards reception of the Sacraments is an indication of the graces you have received and your response to God’s love for you. I’m always a firm believer in working from one’s strengths so I strongly encourage you to give thanks for these desires and to plow, or inch, forward to the next step.

Thanks for your help…I have read the article you mentioned a while back and passed it on to the appropriate person at church. No…I am not self diagnosed…the psychiatrist who sees me once every month or two…has me on an anti-depressant for anxiety and clinical depression, but the psychosis is not diagnosed yet ( the cause that is…but they think its schizophrenia)…but he will be putting me on an anti-psychotic soon as I can get into see him…I have auditority hallucinations and very bizarre thought patterns and sometimes believe things that cant possibly be true
I was told by my priest I must attend the RCIA classes as I have had no instruction in the Catholic faith …and only started going to church as an adult. I was baptized out of the faith at 15 mons.
I dont know what else to say…but thanks again…THe head office for my diocese is 5 hours away and I live in a rural area, but I will see what I can do.

As far as my priest goes…I am sure he does pray for me…but with my thought disorder, I often need clarification and things repeated that no-one else can answer…as I am told by others.

THe pastoral care person never once made eye contact with me, had a conversation with me…so dont know what she is baseing her thoughts on…I never ask anyone for anything. I had done countless volunteer hours in my community with those who are marginalized , like myself.

I may move though to another city and start all over in a diocese that doesnt have a prejudice against me…but first I need to be stable enough…on the right meds.etc etc

thanks again for your help

 

[5Loaves]

Again, I applaud you on your courage posting here and in facing the daily trials you face. I have family members and long time friends who have had diagnosis of bi-polar and of schizophrenia. Many many years ago I remember being annoyed with my sister-in-law when she would go off her meds, for bi-polar illness. One night I was watching PBS, I think Bill Moyers, program on mental illness. At one point the doctor on the screen looked straight into the camera and said “These are not user friendly drugs!” and then talked at length about side effects etc. It was a turning point in my understanding, limited as it still is.

Another friend, a parent from our daughter’s extended group of friends, was recently in the hospital getting ECT, which in past crises has been helpful. He too has been a real inspiration to me as he’s faced great difficulties with amazing courage.

I have much admiration for you and them. I’m very glad you’ve got a mental health provider to work with. Rural medicine can be more limited, but not always.

I’m sorry the chancery for your diocese is so far away. I still encourage you to contact them. They may know of some closer resources and also have some supports for your pastor. With programs like Skype you might be able to work with someone that way for catechesis.

You can only work with what you have to work with. Clearly at times you are able to be very objective about your situation and be an excellent advocate for your needs. Again, I see no reason why you can’t expect at some point to receive your other sacraments. May those seeds of hope and faith in you continue to grow.

I have a devotion to St. Damien and when I pray at his holy icon I will bear you in mind.

P.S. The structure of starting the paperwork for a decree of nullity for your marriage might be a helpful thing for you, too. Hard to get motivated to start sometimes, I’ve heard many people say that once they made the first move it was a really helpful process for them.

 

[FMLJoliecouer]

Again, I applaud you on your courage posting here and in facing the daily trials you face. I have family members and long time friends who have had diagnosis of bi-polar and of schizophrenia. Many many years ago I remember being annoyed with my sister-in-law when she would go off her meds, for bi-polar illness. One night I was watching PBS, I think Bill Moyers, program on mental illness. At one point the doctor on the screen looked straight into the camera and said “These are not user friendly drugs!” and then talked at length about side effects etc. It was a turning point in my understanding, limited as it still is.

Another friend, a parent from our daughter’s extended group of friends, was recently in the hospital getting ECT, which in past crises has been helpful. He too has been a real inspiration to me as he’s faced great difficulties with amazing courage.

I have much admiration for you and them. I’m very glad you’ve got a mental health provider to work with. Rural medicine can be more limited, but not always.

I’m sorry the chancery for your diocese is so far away. I still encourage you to contact them. They may know of some closer resources and also have some supports for your pastor. With programs like Skype you might be able to work with someone that way for catechesis.

You can only work with what you have to work with. Clearly at times you are able to be very objective about your situation and be an excellent advocate for your needs. Again, I see no reason why you can’t expect at some point to receive your other sacraments. May those seeds of hope and faith in you continue to grow.

I have a devotion to St. Damien and when I pray at his holy icon I will bear you in mind.

P.S. The structure of starting the paperwork for a decree of nullity for your marriage might be a helpful thing for you, too. Hard to get motivated to start sometimes, I’ve heard many people say that once they made the first move it was a really helpful process for them.

Thanks for sharing and caring…and as well…thanks for the advice…
Again…I need some stability with my moods before I can tackle the nullity and even then, I have already told my priest my reasons for not feeling right about it. It goes against my conscience totally…for reasons I dont wish to get into…
Ive been talking to my former common-law spouse regularly, who is 20 years my senior, and he doesnt see us getting back together…although we do get along great, while living apart and sharing time with the son, 8, we had together.
RIght now…just day to day stuff in very difficult…sometimes I am in bed a good part of the day…I dont cook, and I dont want to leave the house…
But I am so thankful to have this forum to stay connected and I dont see myself moving to another diocese. THat wouldnt solve anything…
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement

 

[FMLJoliecouer]

Just to update all and say thanks for everyones advice and prayers.
Myself and my daughter who is 17 are going to be confirmed on Oct 10 this year.

All I can say is…Thanks be to God…and after many trials I am finally coming home to the faith of my baptism.

I am glad to say as well that my psychiatrist is keeping me on the meds for depression and anxiety, and not putting me on anti-psychotics at this point. He wants to wait and see if I keep improving. The demonic obsession is pretty much gone for good I think, but I still do struggle sometimes with what is real and what isnt. Its getting better though

 

[puzzleannie]

I am a baptized adult (RC) and in my 40’s. Was baptized as an infant…adopted out of faith and found out in my twenties I was baptized RC. Started going to a RC parish over a year ago. Suffer from serious mental health issues and have my whole life…
Want to be in full communion with the church but am worried I may not be able to ever receive the sacraments, because of my mental health issues…mainly mood disorders…clinical depression with bouts of psychosis and anxiety…

you are already in full communion with the Catholic Church by virtue of your Catholic baptism.
mental health or any health issues are never by themselves a barrier to reception of the sacraments. In fact any baptized Catholic in a perilous state of help should be helped pastorally to complete their Christian initiation, especially Confirmation, as soon as possible.

I cannot become confirmed until I go through the RCIA…and even then…I have another stumbling block and am not able to deal with it now.

RCIA is not for Catholics. You need only whatever preparation your pastor deems necessary.

My priest is concerned that I never got an enulment from my first marriage(which is denfintely not valid)and I recently broke up with my common-law spouse back in February. If we ever decided to get back together I would need an enulment first so I was free to marry him.

if you are no longer with your common law spouse and not living with anyone in an irregular arrangement, neither divorce nor annulment is an issue, and would not be a barrier to being confirmed now. yes should you ever decide to marry this person it could be addressed at that time.

so glad to hear you are being confirmed, your story is a testimony to the spiritual value of persistence, like the widow in the gospel.