Work dilemna

[Anglewannabe]

Right now at work, I have been very busy. It is one of those situations where it seems like if I can just get through the day, everything will be OK. Of course, the next day I get to work and it is just another big mess that sets me back.

There is one girl, I will call Sally, who in my opinion is not working independently enough. She will come to me with questions that can wait and gets offended when I tell her I have no time to answer them.

This morning I asked her if we could go grab a coffee. I wanted to have a private non-threatening chat about how what we were doing that wasn’t working, I had an alternate method I wanted to propose and asked her if she would be ok trying it.

Well… she made a comment about she felt I was ignoring her and place my work more important than her I felt like it was self evident that I would place my work as more important.

Yesterday she emailed me and asked if there was anything she could do to help me. I emailed her back with something she could do. She emailed me back saying she couldn’t figure it out. After re-reading my email, I realized that what I asked her to do was not fair so I send her another email that said ‘Don’t worry about it do this instead’ During our chat, she told me she brought her notes home and spent all night trying to figure out the first task.

I wanted to gently explain to her, there was no need to worry and no need to fear. I realized I asked her something unfair and no one would hold it against her if she couldn’t do it. Before I had a chance to finished my sentence, she cut me off ‘I worry and I can be that type of person if I want’. I did not trying to explain my point because I did not think she would be open to hearing it.

Also, I told her, I am the type of person, when someone tells me ‘this isn’t working’, the first thing I do is show them the solution and that she strikes me as the type of person that if something isn’t working, she needs to talk about how it didn’t work. I understood that some people need to talk and let it out, but I just do NOT have time to listen. Well, then she told me she needs to figure out what she did wrong so she doesn’t do it again. The point I am making is I was not there to see what she did so I can not tell her what went wrong and I don’t see why I should waste my time trying to figure out what she did when I can give her the solution.

I went to see my manager because I am swamped and I wanted to know how much time I should spend doing my work vs helping Sally and also ask if there were some people who could help me with what I am doing. My manager was open to getting me more resources, so I am happy about that. But… my manager did not seem to understand my point about how I am willing to help Sally when I have time. My manager seemed to think that Sally’s questions were valid and worth interrupting me for. Since I do the job and I know the ins and outs better than my manager, I know Sally does not ask ‘show stopping questions’ and she could easily move on to something else. I did not want to appear argumentative in front of the boss so I basically agreed to her suggestions and I came up with some other suggestions my manager seemed open to

At the end of the day, Sally thanked me for being upfront so I know we are cool.

Nonetheless, it has ALWAYS been my experience these situations come back to haunt me and cause great grief. I guess, I am just worried about how I will be seen/upcoming consequences. Also, I have to wonder if telling my boss I was too swamped will make me look incompetent

Angie

 

[Xantippe]

Maybe you can say something like, “I think I’ll have a break in my work in about 15 minutes. Why don’t you bring all your questions then?” Or something along those lines. That way you’ll encourage her to bring all of her questions at once, rather than dropping by several times. That might save you a little time, and it doesn’t sound unhelpful or non-team-player-like.

 

[Jay82]

Some of the more ‘needy’ coworkers can sure be frustrating at times, but they are important to the company and your work environment never the less. Don’t underestimate the need for a good relationship with “sally”. Relationships are almost as important as results. If you fail in one of those two areas it could become career limiting and come back to haunt you.

Helping Sally goes back to the old adage of … you can give someone a fish and feed them for a day or teach them to fish so they can feed themselves for a life time. Showing someone how to do something at work is similar. If you invest a little more time up front and show them how to complete a complex task rather than just do it for them, it will eliminate future ad-hoc follow up questions that can be distracting.

Anyway, as Xantippe said. Try to allocate a specific time to help Sally rather than field questions randomly throughout the day. I do believe it is important to help her, even if the things she gets stuck on are not show stopping.

Personally, I believe you should never tell a coworker you do not have time for them. You may not have time at that very second, but carving out some time during the day should be possible. The effort does not go unnoticed and that person will speak highly of you to others and the good will, will have lasting impacts on a productivity and career development level. Yeah, you may have to work an extra 30 mins each day or take a shorter lunch, but its worth it.

 

[Sunbreak]

People work differently. Some people are good at reading instructions to figure out how to do or not do something. Other people learn better with a verbal approach and need to run things by other people when they have a problem. I think possibly you and the co-worker have different approaches to work and learning.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Maybe you can say something like, “I think I’ll have a break in my work in about 15 minutes. Why don’t you bring all your questions then?” Or something along those lines. That way you’ll encourage her to bring all of her questions at once, rather than dropping by several times. That might save you a little time, and it doesn’t sound unhelpful or non-team-player-like.

I tried that, it doesn’t work. She will just keep describing the problem ad nauseum

 

[Anglewannabe]

Helping Sally goes back to the old adage of … you can give someone a fish and feed them for a day or teach them to fish so they can feed themselves for a life time. Showing someone how to do something at work is similar. If you invest a little more time up front and show them how to complete a complex task rather than just do it for them, it will eliminate future ad-hoc follow up questions that can be distracting.

I am in total agreement. However I have spent enough time with Sally that I don’t think she has the ability to hunt and I could teach her until I am blue in the face, she won’t learn. This is not a job that falls into a cookie cutter mode. Every task has a different twist. I will sit beside her and let her do the work. I will even let her do it wrong and not stop her. Then when she clues in she is doing it wrong, she will go on a tangent that lasts ad nauseum ‘why isn’t it working’. I will suggest she try a different approach and she will stare at me with a blank look clueless as to what else she can try until I show her.

Personally, I believe you should never tell a coworker you do not have time for them. You may not have time at that very second, but carving out some time during the day should be possible. The effort does not go unnoticed and that person will speak highly of you to others and the good will, will have lasting impacts on a productivity and career development level. Yeah, you may have to work an extra 30 mins each day or take a shorter lunch, but its worth it.

Twice a day I go to her desk and say ‘If you wish, I have time now if you want to come by’. Sometimes she takes me up on it sometimes she doesn’t. My beef is she wants my help on her schedule oblivious to the deadlines I need to meet for hire ups

 

[Anglewannabe]

Well, the good news in all of this is I spoke to my manager and I will be getting help with my work load and there will be a second person who will become available for Sally to use as a resource for questions.

I remember almost 20 years ago helping a needy person. I did not want to tell management this person was incompetent and it made my office life a living nightmare because of the interruptions. After a year, it was too late to complain (since I never mentioned it before). I am trying to not fall into the same trap by letting it known Sally requires a lot of help, but still showing I am willing to do it. I simply want a few boundaries in place

Angie