Work situation driving me nutso

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Anglewannabe

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I really am at the end of my rope right now. My team lead is very incompetent and has extremely poor mathematical abilities. She has horrible time management skills. As well, she has tunnel vision. Anytime I try to point out a different perspective or a different way of talking a problem, her face goes blank. She has awesome people skills which is partly why I think she got the job.

Anyway, ANYTIME I ask her a question, she will start to ‘work’ on it. I now know that in essence she is talking to herself thinking out loud. I TOTALLY understand her need a moment to wrap her head around the problem. What I am finding frustrating is she expects me to sit beside her for over 30 minutes at a time as she flips through files and goes down the wrong path and switches direction. Usually people will say ‘Let me get back to you’ and come back with an answer. Not her, I am to watch her think.

2 days ago, an issue came up I had never seen before so I had to ask her about it. Of course there was the usual expectation that I twiddle my thumbs as she works. Then she said she would take care of making a few calls. Finally, she had a solution and asked me to write an email:confused: She knew the solution why did it fall back on me. So I wrote the email which she told me to send to her. Then she changed it all:rolleyes: She did not change the message, just the wording. Well, why was my time wasted if she was going to do it her way???

Then, she said ‘Before this email goes out, please audit XYZ just in case.’ I put the audit together and told her where I saved it to which she responded ‘Instead I think I will do something else’:banghead: Yet again she made me waste my time.

Well, the manager asked me to put something together. I was using formulas in Excel to do it in an efficient way. I know from experience there is no point explaining the formulas to the team lead because she just is not intelligent enough to understand. So I quietly went to my desk and worked on the task at hand. 30 minutes before quitting time, she came by and asked ‘how are you doing’ I told her what I was working on and started to show her where I was at in the task. When I noticed an error in my formula. So I said ‘Oh, I need to fix this’ To which she said ‘Well how’s about we try looking at blah blah blah’. I had been working on the task long enough to know that her suggestion was just going to be another time waster where she would be at my computer barking at me to ‘click here and click there’ while I wasted my time watching her talk to herself. I was at the end of my rope and I put my hand up and said VERY firmly ‘No I do not want to do that’. She got the hint and left my desk.

I just can not take her lack of professional boundaries. I can not take her total inability to understand 2 people can not get into the same private thoughts and some tasks are better to figure out alone and them explain the result. I can not take her stupidity.

I have also been at the job long enough to know that is the culture and most of management does not understand time management.

I am toying with the idea of going to HR not to complain but to ask for guidance. I was thinking of saying something like ‘When I am in the middle of a task and the team lead starts to tell me to try something else, I find it just gets me off track onto a time wasting tangent’

Angie
 
Sorry to say it, but these experiences are just about universal. The only way to avoid being frustrated with management is to be your own boss. But then you’ve got clients to deal with, and that is just as frustrating.

Anyway, companies pay us to not merely be competent at our specific jobs, but to be part of a team and take direction from management. Following the direction of your supervisor and hand-holding them through issues they don’t seem to understand is just as much a part of your job (any job) as the actual tasks you are performing.

I’d suggest going to HR on this issue is unlikely to resolve anything and unlikely to endear yourself to anyone, but if you are careful and frame it as seeking guidance rather than complaining, it could help.
 
I am toying with the idea of going to HR not to complain but to ask for guidance. I was thinking of saying something like ‘When I am in the middle of a task and the team lead starts to tell me to try something else, I find it just gets me off track onto a time wasting tangent’
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If you want advice, consult a priest.

Heading to HR would be disastrous for your career at this particular company. You might as well pack your bags and resign.

If you go to HR, then you are putting a huge target on your back. Your best option is to be patient, play the waiting game, and keep your sanity by staying well-balanced in all areas of your life - especially your prayer life. Go with the flow, keep your head down, don’t engage in politics at the office.

Do your job, smile, be pleasant. Most of the managers you will have in your career will have various levels of competencies, some better than others.

Your goal needs to be to keep this job until you either get promoted or find another, more suitable position with a different company. In the meantime, lay low and keep quiet. Your focus at this point should be longevity and keeping your job.
 
Have you approached the subject of doing something else while she ponders?

Can you find a reason to excuse yourself?

Can you say, “I’ve got other things to do. I’ll be at my desk when you’re ready to share your thoughts.”
 
KCT said:
Have you approached the subject of doing something else while she ponders?

Can you find a reason to excuse yourself?

Can you say, “I’ve got other things to do. I’ll be at my desk when you’re ready to share your thoughts.”
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Or “I need to do XYZ, but you can grab me as soon as you need me.”

There is the awful possibility that she thinks she needs the OP within arm’s reach and will say so, but I think my phrasing is slightly more friendly and obliging.

Even if it turns out that the lead wants to use the OP as a blankie, would the OP be able to answer email or something similar while the manager flounders around in the files?
 
Bad bosses abound. You have to figure out how to work with them. Complaining to HR is more likely to harm your career than hers.

What about when you are twiddling your thumbs…say the Divine Mercy chaplet instead? You don’t have to have a Rosary, I often count “beads” on my fingers. Say it silently, and remember that your boss is helping to sanctify you.

And I’m not trying to be flip. My bosses drive me nuts. I work for a husband/wife small business and they are elderly and forgetful, he’s an alcoholic that typically starts drinking int the early afternoon, and she’s technology challenged and so I deal with stuff daily with them and trust me- I understand getting frustrated. I try, if work doesn’t prevent it, to say the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3 o’clock and whatever other prayers I can fit in. It helps.
 
underacloud said:
Following the direction of your supervisor and hand-holding them through issues they don’t seem to understand is just as much a part of your job (any job) as the actual tasks you are performing.

.
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I would be more than happy to follow her direction, the problem is, she doesn’t give any. She just talks out loud to herself and tries a lot of different things until she finds an answer she is happy with and decides it has been resolved. So, I am constantly just standing beside her bored out of my mind

I have no problem hand holding her but whenever I try to explain something she does not listen and just goes on one of her tangents that will get us no where.

This woman is EXTREMELY incapable
 
KCT said:
Have you approached the subject of doing something else while she ponders?

Can you find a reason to excuse yourself?

Can you say, “I’ve got other things to do. I’ll be at my desk when you’re ready to share your thoughts.”
Click to expand...
Those are all great suggestions but unfortunately they would not go over well. It would look like I am ‘dumping’ my work on her. If I was to say ‘why don’t you come get me when you have an answer’ her face would go blank. She seems to think that it is team work to figure things out together, oblivious to the fact I am twiddling my thumbs wasting time. She would say something like ‘How about we try this’ and there is an unspoken expectation that I ‘work with her’

I think this woman has a serious self-centered issue where people are suppose to watch her think
 
Xantippe said:
Or “I need to do XYZ, but you can grab me as soon as you need me.”

There is the awful possibility that she thinks she needs the OP within arm’s reach and will say so, but I think my phrasing is slightly more friendly and obliging.

Even if it turns out that the lead wants to use the OP as a blankie, would the OP be able to answer email or something similar while the manager flounders around in the files?
Click to expand...
It just would not work. This woman will barge into my cubicle and start talking about an issue. She does not even have the manners to say ‘excuse me’. She will just talk with no regard to the fact she is interrupting my train of thought. Then she will sit at my desk and grab my mouse.
 
AKDee said:
What about when you are twiddling your thumbs…say the Divine Mercy chaplet instead? You don’t have to have a Rosary, I often count “beads” on my fingers. Say it silently, and remember that your boss is helping to sanctify you.

.
Click to expand...
I could try that but she will likely always interrupt my silent praying. I don’t want to totally tune her out in case she says something good. I am just fed up with having to pay 100% attention when less than 2% of what she says is relevant
 
Anglewannabe said:
I really am at the end of my rope right now. My team lead is very incompetent and has extremely poor mathematical abilities. She has horrible time management skills. As well, she has tunnel vision. Anytime I try to point out a different perspective or a different way of talking a problem, her face goes blank. She has awesome people skills which is partly why I think she got the job.

Anyway, ANYTIME I ask her a question, she will start to ‘work’ on it. I now know that in essence she is talking to herself thinking out loud. I TOTALLY understand her need a moment to wrap her head around the problem. What I am finding frustrating is she expects me to sit beside her for over 30 minutes at a time as she flips through files and goes down the wrong path and switches direction. Usually people will say ‘Let me get back to you’ and come back with an answer. Not her, I am to watch her think.

2 days ago, an issue came up I had never seen before so I had to ask her about it. Of course there was the usual expectation that I twiddle my thumbs as she works. Then she said she would take care of making a few calls. Finally, she had a solution and asked me to write an email:confused: She knew the solution why did it fall back on me. So I wrote the email which she told me to send to her. Then she changed it all:rolleyes: She did not change the message, just the wording. Well, why was my time wasted if she was going to do it her way???

Then, she said ‘Before this email goes out, please audit XYZ just in case.’ I put the audit together and told her where I saved it to which she responded ‘Instead I think I will do something else’:banghead: Yet again she made me waste my time.

Well, the manager asked me to put something together. I was using formulas in Excel to do it in an efficient way. I know from experience there is no point explaining the formulas to the team lead because she just is not intelligent enough to understand. So I quietly went to my desk and worked on the task at hand. 30 minutes before quitting time, she came by and asked ‘how are you doing’ I told her what I was working on and started to show her where I was at in the task. When I noticed an error in my formula. So I said ‘Oh, I need to fix this’ To which she said ‘Well how’s about we try looking at blah blah blah’. I had been working on the task long enough to know that her suggestion was just going to be another time waster where she would be at my computer barking at me to ‘click here and click there’ while I wasted my time watching her talk to herself. I was at the end of my rope and I put my hand up and said VERY firmly ‘No I do not want to do that’. She got the hint and left my desk.

I just can not take her lack of professional boundaries. I can not take her total inability to understand 2 people can not get into the same private thoughts and some tasks are better to figure out alone and them explain the result. I can not take her stupidity.

I have also been at the job long enough to know that is the culture and most of management does not understand time management.

I am toying with the idea of going to HR not to complain but to ask for guidance. I was thinking of saying something like ‘When I am in the middle of a task and the team lead starts to tell me to try something else, I find it just gets me off track onto a time wasting tangent’

Angie
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I recall your other posts about your job struggles. And the advice does not change. If you cannot be a good fit at your work you should leave. I do notice that you seem to have a problem with a certain person each time. Perhaps some introspective and some reflection on how you can control the type of employee you are would help you. Because you cannot control others. I would not suggest calling HR as you may have a reputation (deserved or not) around your workplace. Perhaps going into business for yourself would be a good fit for you and you may be a lot happier. Plus, you get to call all the shots!🙂
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I recall your other posts about your job struggles. And the advice does not change. If you cannot be a good fit at your work you should leave. I do notice that you seem to have a problem with a certain person each time. Perhaps some introspective and some reflection on how you can control the type of employee you are would help you. Because you cannot control others. I would not suggest calling HR as you may have a reputation (deserved or not) around your workplace. Perhaps going into business for yourself would be a good fit for you and you may be a lot happier. Plus, you get to call all the shots!🙂
Click to expand...
Yes, I think Angie has written about similar issues before; similar frustrations with less competent coworkers.

As I suggested, these sorts of issues are universal, and in Angie’s case I think she will have these frustrations wherever she lands…even working for herself, since dumb and/or unreasonable clients are inevitable too, and often even more difficult to deal with than dumb coworkers.

Coming here to blow off some steam may or may not help. But ultimately, there is no advice anyone can offer that will resolve things for her. To be a bit more blunt about it - she has to learn to cope with it.
 
I’m not familiar with your other posts (although a couple of people said this is something you’ve posted about before) but what I noticed is how you shot down everyone’s suggestions with some version of “it won’t work”. What I see there is that you want the situation to change, not your response to the situation to change. But realistically, the ONLY thing you have control over is your own response to other people. You can’t control your boss, you can’t control HR. All of us, from our own perspectives, are trying to give you advice that will help you in how you deal with a problem that will likely crop up in any work environment (or personal relationship, for that matter). But the first thing that has to happen is you have to decide that you need to change. I’m not minimizing that your boss is frustrating, but you can’t change her.
 
I once worked for someone who came in and talked to me for hours during my shift. I didn’t know what to do because he owned the company. Finally I figured that if he wanted to pay me to listen to him, so be it. It’s not like he didn’t know I was on the clock!

You are selling your time to this company. If they want to use your time unproductively in the name of teamwork, that’s their problem. You are using your time productively for your purposes: you are being paid 🙂 What they do with the product they buy from you is their business.

And if you get to use the downtime they are paying you for to pray, well, that’s a bonus!
 
AKDee said:
) but what I noticed is how you shot down everyone’s suggestions with some version of “it won’t work”. .
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OK. that is a good point. However, my intentions were not to shoot people’s ideas down. The reality is I have tried most of them and they just do NOT go over well and I don’t want to do the same thing that has already proven unsuccessful.

When I say this woman is difficult, I am really not joking. She just does not understand appropriate boundaries
 
Anglewannabe said:
I would LOVE to lay low. This woman comes to me and asks how things are going and when I try to explain that is when the defocus starts
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When she asks, “How’s it going?”; tell her ,“Fine, thanks.” and leave it at that. Trying to explain what you are doing is opening the door for her to stick around and insert herself in your work. If she gives you a suggestion tell her thank you, you’ve never done it that way and maybe you’ll try that next time.
 
Catholic1954 said:
When she asks, “How’s it going?”; tell her ,“Fine, thanks.” and leave it at that. Trying to explain what you are doing is opening the door for her to stick around and insert herself in your work. .
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So in other words just keep everything short and sweat and don’t give any specific updates unless asked point blank?
 
I too, have read your past complaints about your job and thought I was reading an old post until I looked at the date. I get the impression that your boss just might want your friendship and companionship which you probably don’t want to give. I also sense a bit of green eyed envy on your part- sorry-but that kind of looks that way. You said she got the job because she is vey personable, but then you tear her down. Perhaps she is more competent than you give her credit for, and if she isn’t, help her achieve that level. And it is quite possible that her boss has told her to go to you and that you would show her the ropes. No one wants to hear that perhaps there is a log in their own eye, but…
I will pray for you and especially for your boss.
 
Anglewannabe said:
So in other words just keep everything short and sweat and don’t give any specific updates unless asked point blank?
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That’s what I did while I was still working. Very effective. Nothing says “I’m busy” like an economy of response.

I still use variations on this approach in parish service or I’d never get anything done.
 
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