Working it all out

[lynnehelen]

working it out about the men and women in my life, my father, my brother, friends of friends. Especially, the impact of animosity of which I was unaware at the time, upon the course of my life. Amy and Sally, who I posted prayer requests about, both affected me deeply, but it was partly through the constellation of relationships between me, and them, men I was involved with, and men who loved them. I had a problem with unthinking animosity generally after being kneed in the crotch by my brother for being smart, and I think my dad had animosity to me because he based everything upon his brilliance (I would say, “Bernard is bright,” pretty much sums up his religion, it is what brought him everything in his life and what guided him in his work and what he learned to trust in; obviously, not adequate for bringing up a family of three children.) Naturally this went hand in hand with vanity to the point of narcicism, and when his little daughter turned out to be brighter than he was, this was a problem. It also meant, obviously, that his wife had some parts, thoughtwise, and this was a problem for him. So I was physically and mentally and emotionally screwed up about relationships between men and women and this meant I didn’t have good relationsips with either. I was fortunate to have the protection of an all-girls’ campus during my high school years, otherwise I might have been gone long ago (drugs or suicide, who knows.) Or, maybe not, you never know. But I do have one friend from Kent, a teacher (it’s a secret! I still talk to him in my head.)

I still have questions about how all this impacts decisions I have to make right now, especially as regards my relatinoship with the spouse with whom I continue to remain in a married state???what he’s up to in evading coming to terms, whether I want to push it, WHAT TO DO ABOUT MONEY, how it impacts our child together always being a concern. But this incessantly sleeping makes sense now, recovery from all that I have posted about, I needed the rest, rest, healing, can have scary parts.

Today I am up and about and have already called my psychologist for the third time and am waiting to call my lawyer. My intent is to travel North, married or not, I believe I have discerned that the Lord has a purpose in this for me and it also makes sense for practical reasons.

I may continue to have problems with my spouse and parents but I feel more on top of things and less fearful so thank you for your prayers and for helping me to bring it together thus far. I also have a friend in my mind, a psychiatrist, to guide me with regard to that area, someone from the past who it didn’t work out with at the time so this is a pleasant surprise to me *. That’s a secret too!

I continue to pray for the Precious Blood of Jesus to cover me over and protect me from evil during this difficult and potentially dangerous transitional time, and also my son.

Thank you, over and over, each and every one, for your attention to my pathetic plight. Surely the Grace of the Good Shepherd prevails here.*

 

[244Rocket]

Praying for you.

 

[LB_in_TX]

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is
the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[triumphguy]

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be thou our protection
against the wickedness and snares of the devil .
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Hosts,
by the Power of God, thrust down to hell,
Satan and all other evil spirits,
who wander through the world,
seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen .

 

[RileyG]

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is
the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.