Working outside the home and Depression

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Thanks. It’s the constant muttering under her breath, sometimes loud sometimes a whisper and sometimes normal voiced. If I send her an email or ask her a question, when I walk away she grumbles something. I’m sure it’s about me but I don’t hear exactly the words. This is aggravating and is a constant. Sometimes I’ll say ‘excuse me did you ask me somehing ?’ But since the tone of the grumble is nasty I want to say "why do always complain under your breath everytime I send you an email or talk to you?’ That’s what I WANT to say but I want Jesus proud of me and dont want to lose control of my professionalism and kindness.thank you
 
I would not recommend working from home as a solution to your emotional state. There is a great risk that symptoms of depression will get worse.

I know of several people who are freelance editors, web developers and designers and ALL of them found it to be extremely difficult to handle after an extended period of time working from home. Even for introverts, the lack of social contact with people will have adverse effects. Especially for those who are not disciplined or have a structured routine.

My recommendation is get to the root cause of what is making you unhappy and find a solution for it. Consider counseling, speaking to a manger or coworker you trust, find another job. IMO wanting to work from home when you feel that bothered will only mask unresolved emotions which will resurface after awhile.
 
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VERY good answer, we are called to be IN the
world, but not OF it. Consider Daniel, he had the
most cruel and pagan boss, but he is listed as
a Major prophet. Also we are not all called to be
hermits, most of us MUST have contact w/ the world!
I suggest you see your workplace as you Mission
Field. Remember the Proverb 24:11-12 “rescue those
condemned to death, and those who are staggering
towards slaughter…”
 
Thank you. I’ve worked from home before and I’ve never dreaded other jobs outside the home such as this one I guess because of the coworker. The grumblings in my last post I think are the root issue, I’m getting paranoid always trying to be nice to her so she doesn’t hate me. I like the mission field exampke, I do feel like I’m preparing for battle every day and so I avoid confrontation and let her grumble while I seethe because I can’t understand what she’s complaining about me this time. I wear headphones but then I may miss someone talking to me trying to tune her out and it looks unprofessional. If my boss says anything I guess I can just remind her I need to concentrate on work, she’s aware. But the bigger issue is how I dont knew how to deal with the grumblings since she’s nasty but since it’s unclear what she’s saying I feel I don’t have anything to say.
 
Ok, so she’s grumbling and you think it’s about you… so What?

Why does it bother you what some grumpy woman thinks about you? Seriously, you need to care less. Be kind, be professional, but do not care what this woman might be muttering. It’s a reflection on her not you.

There are times she is going to be right about something (like the stinky chips) where you can acknowledge it and appologize but then you get to move on.

It’s a very popular myth that bullies have low self esteem; typically it’s the opposite. It’s a lie we tell kids to feel better but it isn’t true. She is likely highly confident in her abilities and thinks she is right in most things. You need to work on your own self esteem that isn’t tied to her approval if you.
 
Yes I know thank you. I was just wondering how I can not let her affect me. I’ve tried ignore, headphones, kindness, addressing it with her once or twice. Still not sure how I can just simply brush her off. I will continue to pray and do the rosary. Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
There is a book I’d recommend, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck; the language isn’t for everyone but it’s a good book on focusing on the things you control and letting go of unimportant nonsense.
 
Jette, furst of all thank you I really appreciate your willingness to help me today. I need it! Since the book is laced with expletives I don’t think I could read it. Thank you though.
 
This may sound ridiculous, but it really helps me. Maybe it will help you, too. I know what you mean by “seething”. It is like a gut burning feeling that you are sure might very well lead you to exploding (literally!). I have a strategy for that. As soon as I feel it setting in (and for me, it is quite a physical response… Not just in my head), I imagine that I am taking some terrible medicine that is going to make me feel so much better in the near future. It tastes terrible in the moment, I know it is going to pass, and I know it is going to make me well. I get a chuckle out of it then, because I realize how fleeting the feeling is. I recognize that being kind has this wonderful side-effect of making me a healthier person (NOTE: being kind does NOT equal to being a doormat. It isn’t the same thing at all). I hope this helps, momof2angells. I, too, worked in clerical for many years and know how difficult it can be. Now I work in the financial department of a social services agency. While I don’t have direct contact with the public, my work has value to me because I know without me the agency wouldn’t run the way it does. Your clerical contributions are no different, I am sure. I believe we don’t find ourselves in certain places in life by accident. You have a purpose where you are, in this moment, as do all of us. Your purpose may have nothing to do with the clerical work you do, but rather the impact you make on others while you are doing it. God bless.
 
Wow what a blessing. I can’t thank you enough for this. This will be part of my new year spiritual resolution!! Thank you Niceisasnicedoes. You also hit it on the head with me feeling like a doormat. I struggle with feeling like a doormat though if I hear her badmouthing me to herself, should I address it or ignore in your opinion.
 
So a couple of things… I would try to remember that this really isn’t about you (the problem), it is about her. For some reason, she is not a happy person. Don’t let her rob you of your happiness. If I were to approach it, I would tell her it is distracting to you when she does that and that you really want to help her with any issues that may come up. She can’t find fault with you for offering her a hand. It really may be that she is unaware that she is mumbling under her breath, etc. I know it is hard, but give her the benefit of the doubt. It sounds like she doesn’t have the communication skills of an average person. I know she has been referenced as a “bully” in this forum, but I don’t know that I am getting that from what you describe. Communicating with her kindly but directly may be the modeling she needs of positive communication. I know it is hard to do this. Annoying people are, well, so annoying! You may want to talk to her separately from when she is actually conducting herself in such an upsetting way. May have a cup of coffee with her and tell her you would like to talk something over with her. She can always decline your offer, and that will be fine, but you will have tried. Maybe next time she will accept. I always begin these conversations with “I care about our work relationship. Have I done something to upset you or offend you?” She may just say “no”, but again, the seed is planted. Communication is key and it sounds like you are dealing with someone with limited communication skills so you must keep that in mind. I think modeling appropriate behavior is very important while making sure she is engaged in the conversation so she will notice. Hope this helps a little.
 
It certainly does, I thank God for your wisdom! I will be reflecting on all of this, you sound so spiritually beautiful. Thank you so much again. I will have to continue to use headphones sometimes because I do need to get work done. I will try to continue to be kind and not take too much to heart when she’s mean, remembering it’s medicine. Once I actually offered the mental anguish she currently caused and future for the benefit of my children getting closer to God and a special intention. I actually felt ‘better’ because I felt I trusted God heard. What do you think about this?
 
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I think that anything one does during difficult times to bring them closer to the God they believe in is always a good thing. I try to do the same thing, because it does seem to help. Who knows, maybe that is why this co-worker is in your path! Some days, it is hard to get out of bed knowing you have to face her, I am sure. But once your feet are on the floor you know you will be OK. I try to look at these things like an adventure. You know God is with you, even if it might not feel like it all of the time.
 
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