Working with special needs..time for a change?

[forhim_123]

Hi,

I have been battling with myself lately about my line of work. I work with a child one-on-one in school that has very high needs. The student has special needs, but is mobile. The students way of trying to communicate that they don’t want to do something, or follow the routine, is to pinch me, hard enough to bruise. It’s not always possible to move away quickly enough when this happens since I need to be so close due to the needs, and it’s really wearing on me. I get the brunt of it because I’m with the child all day, every day, in the environment when demands are put on the student. I’ve worked with lots of non-verbal kids, but I’m starting to lose my patience and not use best-practice (i.e., ignoring the behaviour, not the child, and redirecting attention) but rather tone of voice.

I’ve prayed a lot, or at least I’m trying to, about if I should leave this job. The student is making great gains from the one-on-one attention, but I have a hard time handling being physically hurt every day, numerous times a day. I am not ‘tooting my own horn’, but there are not many who are trained to work with kids with difficulties like this, and it’s not good for kids like this to have a new person often. I’ve been with the child for about 4 months. Ideal is to be with them for 3 years…

I try to see Christ in the child each day, and think about what Mary would do, but I still get so frustrated from the pinching. I vent to my husband, and feel so so drained after work. I hate to leave a child before at least a year, but it tests me every single day.

My question is, when is it time to leave a job? Praise be to God, I live in a place where jobs are available, although they may not be the most desireable.

Anyone reading this worked with kids with really high needs who are physically aggressive?

 

[Irishmom2]

I have never worked in a job such as yours, so what I am saying is not from personal experience.

First off, is there someone at work you can ask for advice? I would think that would be the first step. Perhaps they are unaware of this situation. You should not be expected to be harmed physically or mentally every day at any job. Maybe there is some kind of solution to this that you haven’t thought of on your own.

If not, pray for God’s help in searching for a new job. I don’t believe that he wants you to be in pain all the time. Search for something else and in the meantime, ask for his guidance. I admire your dedication to your student. I don’t think I would have lasted very long being pinched.

 

[forhim_123]

Thanks for the reply, Irishmom. I have talked to work about it, and the said they will do whatever I need (reduce my time there, etc) but I will bring it up again at our next meeting. I struggle with understanding what God is calling me to for work. I have been trained to work with kids like this, but I’m not sure that I should be just because I can… Or if it’s worth being stressed out, or if I’m being selfish and not understanding of these kids enough… At any rate, as always, I guess it comes down to more quiet prayer and listening, which I am need to work on!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

OK, I understand special needs, but this student needs some help in modifying his/her behavior! Pinching is a bad choice that needs to be worked on, by whatever other people he/she has as a support team. Needs to be some positive/negative training on that issue.

No one should feel they have to be abused by another person, I don’t care what category that person fits into - including special needs.

That behavior should have been stopped as soon as it started, I don’t care what special needs the person has, they should be treated exactly as another child or young adult would be treated, and that includes NO PINCHING OTHERS!!!

Go to your supervisor or the patient’s case manager and tell them this person needs an intervention on the pinching.

 

[Catholic90]

No one should be physically abused at their job, no matter what the job.

I agree with TRJ. There must be a modification on the child’s end of things.

 

[inthekitchen]

My son is severely autistic. I (literally) feel your pain!

Other than catching the pinch before it happens and saying “Nice hands” or whatever, I think you should reward every single possible appropriate communication attempt. I think that would work the best if the kid is food motivated, so you could give a single gummi bear or a piece of a favorite cereal or whatever.

Maybe, if the student is developmentally able, you could try a token-type exchange after a bit, so the child gets some (relatively low-key) reward for a certain number of appropriate actions. You would know best what that could be. My son likes to be spun around, for instance.

You’re probably already doing this though

 

[forhim_123]

My son is severely autistic. I (literally) feel your pain!

Other than catching the pinch before it happens and saying “Nice hands” or whatever, I think you should reward every single possible appropriate communication attempt. I think that would work the best if the kid is food motivated, so you could give a single gummi bear or a piece of a favorite cereal or whatever.

Maybe, if the student is developmentally able, you could try a token-type exchange after a bit, so the child gets some (relatively low-key) reward for a certain number of appropriate actions. You would know best what that could be. My son likes to be spun around, for instance.

You’re probably already doing this though

You are right, thank you for the reminder. I need to be reinforcing the positive communication even more elaborately than I do. I will bring up edibles as a reinforcer… we could work out how this would look for it, but the child needs some real motivation to learn alternate ways to communicate! Except sour candies…those are bring saved for potty training! T is progressing in language, but pinching is still easier than saying words.

The pinching has been happening for a couple of years, and happens as a protest, or sometimes when T is just overwhelmed by noise stimulation, etc. I wish it was as easy as just making it stop! As an employee, I am limited in what I can do. Sometimes siblings can be helpful for stopping pinching because they tend to just pinch them back!

I love working with kids with autism. This one is especially challenging though because I haven’t experienced the pinching before. There are other factors at play too. I never want to stop working with a child because of difficulties that I have working with them, but this one leaves me less than patient and I can’t always catch the pinch before it happens. I worry that being impatient is not what she needs, and using a stern voice doesn’t help with autism in the long run, but sometimes I react rather than be proactive… Perhaps I should reduce my hours with the student to keep up energy to stay positive with them at all times… I’m going to pray about that, and I’ll pray for you and your son, inthekitchen