Working with your spouse: Good idea or not?

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Kepha15

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OK, Internet: I need some advice.

I currently have a job that I love (coincidentally, working for my diocese), and my wife currently has a job that she hates. This week, a position opened up in my department that exactly matches my wife’s skill set and passions; I know she would love this position, and I also know she would be great at it (and have a good chance of being hired if she applied).

In my department, there are two managerial position: One is mine, and the other is the position my wife would have. In other words, they are co-equal positions – neither of us would be managing the other, but both of us reporting to the same boss. We’ve both been anticipating this job opening for a while, but we’re both unsure of whether it would be a good idea to work together in the same office. While neither of us would be managing the other, we would be working closely together on many projects.

Professionally, I don’t have any doubts we could work well together. I have tremendous respect for her skills, and she respects mine. We also have a great marriage and good communication. We have no kids, although that could change at any time. The concern is really about whether it would change our relationship, and whether it would affect other areas of our work lives.

For instance, between commutes, work, lunches and home life, we would have virtually no time apart. (Personally, I know I need alone time, and I often use commutes to unwind). And having a husband-wife team manage the department might result in resentment, suspicion or complex situations in the office. There’s also a greater temptation to bring work problems home or have work bleed into other areas of our lives.

The rub is, like I said, I know she would love the position and would be a tremendous benefit to the department. Honestly, I don’t know that we’ve faced many tougher decisions. Has anyone ever attempted to work with their spouse? Good idea or not?
 
I haven’t worked with my wife, but I have worked in a company run by a husband and wife team. They divorced about 10 years into running the business together. Would this have happened anyway? Who knows. But it is easy to see some of the pressures that working together brings - as you p(name removed by moderator)oint, there is a lack of alone time. There are also serious issues related to office politics. If you and your wife agree on a contentious issue, that others disagree with you on, it will be impossible for many people to separate the issue itself from your relationship, and they will perceive a bias in your decisionmaking with repsect to each other. Such biases, perceived or real, can be cancerous in any office environment.

In short, I wouldn’t want to work with my wife. But that must be weighed in this case against this opportunity for her.
 
I think this is a great opportunity! Count your blessings!
 
Kepha15 said:
OK, Internet: I need some advice.

I currently have a job that I love (coincidentally, working for my diocese), and my wife currently has a job that she hates. This week, a position opened up in my department that exactly matches my wife’s skill set and passions; I know she would love this position, and I also know she would be great at it (and have a good chance of being hired if she applied).

In my department, there are two managerial position: One is mine, and the other is the position my wife would have. In other words, they are co-equal positions – neither of us would be managing the other, but both of us reporting to the same boss. We’ve both been anticipating this job opening for a while, but we’re both unsure of whether it would be a good idea to work together in the same office. While neither of us would be managing the other, we would be working closely together on many projects.

Professionally, I don’t have any doubts we could work well together. I have tremendous respect for her skills, and she respects mine. We also have a great marriage and good communication. We have no kids, although that could change at any time. The concern is really about whether it would change our relationship, and whether it would affect other areas of our work lives.

For instance, between commutes, work, lunches and home life, we would have virtually no time apart. (Personally, I know I need alone time, and I often use commutes to unwind). And having a husband-wife team manage the department might result in resentment, suspicion or complex situations in the office. There’s also a greater temptation to bring work problems home or have work bleed into other areas of our lives.

The rub is, like I said, I know she would love the position and would be a tremendous benefit to the department. Honestly, I don’t know that we’ve faced many tougher decisions. Has anyone ever attempted to work with their spouse? Good idea or not?
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I don’t quiet understand the structure would be like to give an opinion. Are you looking at separate tasks? Like, you are in charge of projects A, B and C, while your wife would be in charge of D, E, and F. They are all independent; so that if A fails or takes too long, none of the other projects suffers. I think in that type of situation working with your spouse is more successful. The bleed over of work into family I think happens most when project A is running behind that leads to project E being in trouble.
 
My husband and I work together. It took us a while to settle into it, but it’s great now! You just have to establish work boundaries and private life boundaries. Good luck! 👍
 
My husband and I have worked together for over thirty years. I was always part time and even less now. We are self employed so it made sense for me to be involved with our business. Not a problem most of the time,but there were issues occasionally.
 
I would be surprised if the employer would consider it.
It’s a totally different thing if you co-own a business.
 
If it is allowed, try to figure out how to wear a “manager” hat at work and a “spouse” hat at home.

(This idea is adapted from Dave Ramsey’s advice for parents dealing with kids working in their businesses.)
 
Honestly, the biggest trick is the following:

Will you be able to compartementalize work issues and home issues? Seriously - I think that would be the toughest part about having the same employer as your spouse. My wife and I have the same employer (a school district), but we’re at different schools, so we never see each other. We love each other very much, and communicate decently, but we would be horrible work colleagues, because it would be too hard for us to keep personal and work separate.

Stuff that happens at work is generally just business, with very little personal, while spousal relationships are, by design, personal. If you had to make a business decision at work that concerned your wife, but had to make the decision without asking her, would she be offended by it? Would you be offended if she made a decision at work that concerned you but you had no say in? If so, would you take the argument home? If you were in the midst of a marital spat at home, could you put the argument on hold while at work and still work efficiently with your wife as a team member at work? There are some husband/wife teams who work well together at work - and there are others that the phrase “Don’t have your honey where you make your money” is incredibly important advice to follow. It’s not just about communication - it’s about personalities.
 
I know many couples who work together and it works for them!

I am sure there are couples where it would be a disaster and they feel they need their own space/arena etc.

I’d say go with your gut.
 
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