Worried about Confession

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zenith15

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HI

As a brand new Catholic I have gone to confession three times now. Our Parish has two priests–one has been in the priesthood over 20 years and is very experienced–and our new associate pastor, though an older man, is newly ordained one year ago. My first confession was with the new assoc. pastor and it was a wonderful experience–he was very kind, guided me through it, helped me to see where much of my sins were coming from in a kind and caring way, absolved me, helped me through the act of contrition, and then gave me a penance which directly related to the confession and was extremely healing for me. I left feeling just great.

However, the next two times I went to confession, at the usual times (I had made a special appt for my first one), I saw our primary pastor instead. Both times he seemed exhausted–glazed, almost–and made no effort to assist me with what was still a new process for me (which he was aware of). After my confession, he said a few perfunctory words, absolved me, and when I began to say the act of contrition, he told me I could say that out in the church. He did not give me any penance either time. Now, I am not a hardened criminal or anything, but I did have some relatively serious sins to confess and I fully expected at least a small penance.

I asked our Deacon about it later, and he told me that this priest never gives anyone a penance. It’s just “the way he does things”. I got the impression, though I could be wrong, that the deacon was not entirely happy with this state of affairs.

I am wondering now if my confession is even valid without any penance given, and if there is anything I should do?
 
The Baltimore Catechism explains:
"Q. 802. Is the slight penance the priest gives us sufficient to satisfy for all the sins confessed?
A. The slight penance the priest gives us is not sufficient to satisfy for all the sins confessed:
    • Because there is no real equality between the slight penance given and the punishment deserved for sin;
    • Because we are all obliged to do penance for sins committed, and this would not be necessary if the penance given in confession satisfied for all. The penance is given and accepted in confession chiefly to show our willingness to do penance and make amends for our sins.
    ."
    ourladyswarriors.org/faith/bc3-19.htmhttp://

    Therefore it is up to you now to do further penance for the sins if you feel the penance was inadequate.
    Now you know who it is best for you personally to confess to, as otherwise you are confused. Decide what you would have considered a good penance, and do that before God, as well as what small penance the priest gave.

    God grant you peace.

    A rethink. Your concern may be correct, if no penance at all was given.
    I have to research this further
    Reconciliation or Confession/Penance

    syromalabar.com/the-church/sacraments/valid-confession.htm Confession is one of the sacraments of healing.
    Confession is the voluntary disclosure of one’s sins to a priest. For this, one has to prepare and remember one’s sins, be sincerely repentant of the sins, make one’s mind up to not sin again, and disclose the sins to a priest. The person also has to receive the penance to obtain absolution of the sins…

    How to prepare for and say a valid confession?

    To make a valid confession, one must:
    • Pray for sometime before the confession.
    • Think of all sins, even the number of times one committed those sins.
    • While beside the priest: first tell when one had the last confession; then confess each sin clearly, mentioning the number of times also.
    • Remain beside the priest when he prays for absolution of the sins.
    • Listen to the penance that the priest says.
    • Do the penance one is asked to do.
    If the priest gave a small penance, that is okay, if he didn’t, it isn’t your fault. You acted in sincere intent. If you go to the priest again insist on a penance.

    The priest may need your prayers.
 
The matter of penance not given doesn’t seem to arise as much as other conditions for validity…

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church
scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm

Satisfaction
1459 Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused.62 Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must “make satisfaction for” or “expiate” his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.”
1460 The *penance *the confessor imposes must take into account the penitent’s personal situation and must seek his spiritual good. It must correspond as far as possible with the gravity and nature of the sins committed. It can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all. They allow us to become co-heirs with the risen Christ, "provided we suffer with him."63

The satisfaction that we make for our sins, however, is not so much ours as though it were not done through Jesus Christ. We who can do nothing ourselves, as if just by ourselves, can do all things with the cooperation of “him who strengthens” us. Thus man has nothing of which to boast, but all our boasting is in Christ . . . in whom we make satisfaction by bringing forth “fruits that befit repentance.” These fruits have their efficacy from him, by him they are offered to the Father, and through him they are accepted by the Father.64
catholic-pages.com/penance/sacrament.asp

** What does the Sacrament require?**

The parts of the Sacrament are the penitent’s contrition, confession and satisfaction and the priest’s absolution.
Contrition is sorrow for our sins, such that we detest them and resolve never to commit them again. It is also referred to as detachment from sin. It is a word that means the crushing or breaking up into pieces, such as when a stone is pulverised. It has come to mean sorrow for sins because it is the pulverisation of the hard heart of a sinner sorry for having offended God.
Confession requires us to admit our sins to the priest.
Satisfaction or Penance is prayer or other good works that the priest requires of the penitent in satisfaction for his sins, the “price” for the priceless gift of absolution.
Absolution is the moment when God’s forgiveness is imparted through the Church, when the Sacrament is conferred. It consists of the priest saying “ego te absolvo” (“I absolve you from your sin”).
A valid confession requires on the part of the penitent, that he or she be sorry for having offended God, resolve not to sin again, to confess all mortal sins remembered in kind and number and perform the penance imposed. On the part of the priest, the words “I absolve you” must be used, the priest must be validly ordained and (unlike all other Sacraments) must have been granted the faculty by his Bishop to hear confessions. A priest who does not have this faculty (eg, a laicized priest or a priest of the Society of St Pius X) cannot validly absolve anyone except in danger of death where a priest with the faculty is not available.

I’ll do a search on Canon Law later but I have to go now.
God bless.
I’m sorry you have been put in this position
 
**Code of Canon Law

Can. 981**** The confessor is to impose salutary and appropriate penances, in proportion to the kind and number of sins confessed**, taking into account, however, the condition of the penitent. The penitent is bound personally to fulfil these penances.

trosch.org/law/cl-penan.htm
 
Just to clarify–the priest gave NO penance whatsoever either time I confessed, and when I tried to say the act of contrition he basically shooed me out to go say it in the church (although there was no line and no one waiting). I was told by the deacon that this priest’s practice is to never give anyone a penance for anything. It left me feeling quite uncomfortable–almost as though he could not be bothered.
 
According to Canon Law, quoted in my last post, he is obliged to give you penance.
 
From what you have mentioned, I wonder if this priest is suffering from burn-out or some other mental or spiritual distress.

I know that as a new Catholic it is a challenging prospect, but you need to write to your bishop. Explain the situation and that you felt the priest was glazed, tired, goiing through the motions and couldn’t be bothered. Mention the deacon who told you that he never gives penance. Emphasise that your letter is not just a complaint, that you do not just want the priest to be told to give penance and allow the act of Contrition, but that you are concerned for the wider implications for this priest’s ability to carry out his ministry and about the reasons behind his behaviour, that he may be suffering.

In the meantime, contact the new priest and ask if you can make an appointment to confess to him. I’m sure you won’t be the only one doing this.

I will pray for you and for this priest.

God bless
 
zenith15 said:
I am wondering now if my confession is even valid without any penance given, and if there is anything I should do?
Click to expand...
You confession is valid (at least as far as I can tell).
Penance does not affect the validity of the Sacrament.

All the Sacraments must meet three criteria to be valid: they must have correct form & matter and there must be correct disposition.

Form: The priest must say some form of absolution. It is generally accepted that the words “I absolve you from your sins” are the essential words.

Matter: I would actually put the first of these under disposition, but those that know more than me (like the Council of Trent) lists matter as contrition, confession, and satisfaction. You were (I presume) contrite (sorry for your sins). You confessed all mortal sins, kind and numer, as far as you remember. And you attempted to satisfy for your sins (which means you must do, as a minimum, the penance given by the priest). If they priest does not give you a penance, or if the priest gives you a small penance, your Confession is still valid. The priest sets the minimum for you for satisfaction.

Disposition: I’m assuming you are a baptized Catholic. I am assuming that the priest-confessor was, in fact, a priest.

Even if there is some question about the validity, remember that Ecclesia supplet (the Church provides): if a priest inadvertently forgets some of the words of the ritual form or changes them, the “Church” recognizes the good faith of those gathered and their right to valid celebration of the sacraments and provides sacramental validity in the case of a human error or priestly malpractice.
There’s also the fact we are bound by the Sacraments, but not G-d. G-d can overcome the hurdles that man may put up. So if the priest purposefully made the sacrament invalid, it is upon him and not you.

Hope that helps!
 
Yes, those assumptions are all correct.

Thanks again for your help.
 
zenith15 said:
HII am wondering now if my confession is even valid without any penance given, and if there is anything I should do?
Click to expand...
yes it is valid
no there is nothing you need to do
simply assign yourself a penance
a slow, deliberate, prayerful, meditative reflection on the Our Father is an excellent choice
 
bmadamsberry said:
You confession is valid (at least as far as I can tell).
Penance does not affect the validity of the Sacrament.
…

Even if there is some question about the validity, remember that Ecclesia supplet (the Church provides): if a priest inadvertently forgets some of the words of the ritual form or changes them, the “Church” recognizes the good faith of those gathered and their right to valid celebration of the sacraments and provides sacramental validity in the case of a human error or priestly malpractice.
There’s also the fact we are bound by the Sacraments, but not G-d. G-d can overcome the hurdles that man may put up. So if the priest purposefully made the sacrament invalid, it is upon him and not you.

Hope that helps!
Click to expand...
Beautifully said, especially the way you explain the Ecclesia Supplet!!
 
Thank you, but I can’t take all the credit. I got this particular definition for Ecclesia supplet from a bishop (I much prefer this definition from the ‘technical’ definition).

It is a beautiful Truth, though, that the Church provides where her workers faulter, just as G-d provides where we faulter.
 
Code: 
   Zenith-
I would stick with a priest that is more personable if that is what you are looking for, I have had one confession in the past where I didn’t have to say an Act of Contrition. Some priests do this why it is really hard to say. He may feel you were contrite enough in your confession and didn’t feel it was necessary to say an Act of Contrition. Your confession is still very valid if you were given absolution.

I have never had a in personable priest but I have heard of others that have. you have the right to choose any confessor you want and you don’t have to confess at the same church if you don’t want to. I hear that many go to one church for mass and another for confession.
 
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