Worried about family members missing mass

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friendlyperson

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Hello everyone,
My family has had a lot of conflicts this weekend. My dad had to work this morning and he coaches my brother’s basketball game at 3:40 (I am my brother’s confirmation sponsor, so I feel extra responsibility towards him). My mom, my brother, and I planned to go to mass at 8:30 am this morning, but my brother woke up with a terrible headache from an injury during a game and he was not able to go this morning, so it was just me and my mom.

My brother probably won’t be able to play in the game today, but my parents took him there to watch anyway (and also because my dad is a coach).

They may or may not be home in time for 5:00 mass. If they are home by then, my dad may not want to go, and my brother may still not feel well enough to go.

Is there a way I can get the obligation dispensed for my dad and my brother? I don’t know if I will be able to convince them to go to mass at our parish at 5 or a later mass at another parish should they even get home in time.

Had I known about all these conflicts earlier I would have tried to figure something else out. But I just can’t stand the idea of my dad and my brother being in mortal sin for missing mass if there is anything I can do to prevent it. Any advice?

Rachel
 
Your brother was sick and unable to get to mass. I don’t think he is in any danger of mortal sin. Being a confirmation sponsor for a brother does not put you in a position to judge your father. His work (and perhaps the coaching is also work) is what provides for the family. Pray for him. Obey the command to honor him. Thank God for your beautiful family. Peace!
 
Honey, you’re not responsible for whether adults in your family go to mass or not, and while you can recommend things to your brother you are not responsible for him either, your parents are. It is their judgment.

You cannot get dispensations for other people, that is something they must do for themselves.

Illness is a legitimate reason for staying home from mass, however being well enough to go to the basketball game sort of brings that into question.
 
1ke said:
Honey, you’re not responsible for whether adults in your family go to mass or not, and while you can recommend things to your brother you are not responsible for him either, your parents are. It is their judgment.

You cannot get dispensations for other people, that is something they must do for themselves.

Illness is a legitimate reason for staying home from mass, however being well enough to go to the basketball game sort of brings that into question.
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When they got home, the 5:00 mass was probably about half over. Does that change anything?
 
OP, be at peace. It is not your responsibility to police your parents or brother. Pray for them and be a good example.
 
1ke said:
Honey, you’re not responsible for whether adults in your family go to mass or not, and while you can recommend things to your brother you are not responsible for him either, your parents are. It is their judgment.

You cannot get dispensations for other people, that is something they must do for themselves.

Illness is a legitimate reason for staying home from mass, however being well enough to go to the basketball game sort of brings that into question.
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exactly, your responsibility is to get yourself to mass. whether or not others go is their choice and up to them to figure out, you can’t force it.

I understand how you feel though, I have similar things im my family
 
Hey I know we can’t judge people’s souls, we can only judge objective actions. Should I tell my dad and my brother that they have committed a mortal sin (objectively speaking of course)? I just feel like if they are in mortal sin and they do receive the Eucharist, it will be my fault for not explaining to them.
Advice?
 
I just have so much pressure on me. I feel like I have to carry the spiritual lives of everyone around me. Please pray for my scrupulosity. I feel like I’m facing this alone; I talked to a priest, but I am just so shy I don’t know how to open up about this verbally (and non-anonymously) to people I don’t know well.
 
friendlyperson said:
Hey I know we can’t judge people’s souls, we can only judge objective actions. Should I tell my dad and my brother that they have committed a mortal sin (objectively speaking of course)? I just feel like if they are in mortal sin and they do receive the Eucharist, it will be my fault for not explaining to them.
Advice?
Click to expand...
No.

And you need to get professional help. Make an appointment to talk to your priest, or bring it up in the confessional.
 
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