Worried for my sister

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Luvz2travel

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I know there’s nothing I can do. She wouldn’t listen to me anyway but she’s been living with a guy for four years and all discussions involving him sound like they are married. I mean she says we this and we’re going to do that…or we have. She fails to understand that if he tells her to leave or kicks her out she would have nothing. He basically supports her. I do like the guy and think he’s a good guy but I’m afraid she will never see what she really wants from him. That’s basically marriage and children. They already broke up once and she was supposed to leave but she remained there and now she says it’s all better. That was a couple years ago. Just asking for prayers for her I guess. Again I think he’s a nice guy and has always treated her well and taken care of her but they are both really young if you know what I mean. Plus he’s been married before with no annulment. She thinks nothing of it though.
 
Poor thing…she is headed for a fall…I am going to keep her in prayer. Don’t lose contact with her, honey…she is going to need you.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Luvz2travel said:
I do like the guy and think he’s a good guy but I’m afraid she will never see what she really wants from him. That’s basically marriage and children.
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Try a different approach. You’re saying that you’re afraid that she’ll never realize what she really wants from him. But here’s the thing, she may not want marriage and kids. A lot of people today don’t. So instead of trying to convince her that you know what she “really” wants, try to gently point out what some advantages to marriage are. But if she won’t hear of it don’t push. They may consider themselves as married as they need to be. In which case she won’t be responsive to someone who she perceives to be butting in to her family.
 
I agree, there is not much you can do, except pray for her. People have lost all sense of right and wrong and just go with the flow unless they have morals that go beyond what popular culture supports at the moment. May your presence in her life be a gentle reminder that there is a better way to live.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Try a different approach. You’re saying that you’re afraid that she’ll never realize what she really wants from him. But here’s the thing, she may not want marriage and kids. A lot of people today don’t. So instead of trying to convince her that you know what she “really” wants, try to gently point out what some advantages to marriage are. But if she won’t hear of it don’t push. They may consider themselves as married as they need to be. In which case she won’t be responsive to someone who she perceives to be butting in to her family.
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She’s the one always bringing up marriage and children not me. I’ve accepted I’ll never have any which is fine with me at my time of life I’ve lost interest. I never bring those topics up she does and she wonders when he’ll marry her not if. I’m not sure he ever will.😦
 
Luvz2travel said:
She’s the one always bringing up marriage and children not me. I’ve accepted I’ll never have any which is fine with me at my time of life I’ve lost interest. I never bring those topics up she does and she wonders when he’ll marry her not if. I’m not sure he ever will.😦
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Ah. I thought you were assuming that she wanted those things.

My only advice then is for her to make it known what she wants and that she won’t wait forever for it. And for her to tell him that if he doesn’t see himself being ready within a year or so he needs to tell her so that she can find someone who wants the same things she does.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Ah. I thought you were assuming that she wanted those things.

My only advice then is for her to make it known what she wants and that she won’t wait forever for it. And for her to tell him that if he doesn’t see himself being ready within a year or so he needs to tell her so that she can find someone who wants the same things she does.
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She already tried that and he asked her to leave. She hung on though and didn’t and they stayed together. She says she had to change her ways. It was all about how SHE messed up. She’s one of those people that thinks if you’re not in a relationship then there’s nothing or it totally defines you. I don’t get that but then on many things were are polar opposites. Any guy that tries to control me or tell me what to do quickly learns where to go…😉 I must add I tend to attract controlling guys for reasons totally unknown to me as I always make it clear I’m the independent type bit that’s another thread.
 
Luvz2travel said:
She already tried that and he asked her to leave. She hung on though and didn’t and they stayed together. She says she had to change her ways. It was all about how SHE messed up. She’s one of those people that thinks if you’re not in a relationship then there’s nothing or it totally defines you. I don’t get that but then on many things were are polar opposites. Any guy that tries to control me or tell me what to do quickly learns where to go…😉 I must add I tend to attract controlling guys for reasons totally unknown to me as I always make it clear I’m the independent type bit that’s another thread.
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She needs to work out her issues with male dependency before she can have a healthy marriage with anyone.
 
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