Worried, should I change spiritual advisors?

[Miguelita]

I’m very concerned and need advice.

Our parish priest has always seemed like one of the most spiritual, loving priests I’ve known. His homilies are attention grabbing, thoughtful, and I’ve never met a priest who knew his Bible so deeply. This is why I chose him to help me deal wiht my severe anxiety, scuples and depression. He’s done a wonderful job, and have helped me find peace.

However, this Sunday, his homily was about envy and sucess, and about how we should rejoice in the triumphs of others instead of feeling bitter. He mentioned how we should be happy for the passing of the health care mandate in this way and I was confused.I later asked him about it, to explain what he meant more thoroughly. He said what he meant was that although he doesn’t support the madates promotion of abortion, he is glad for those who now have medical care, who’ve never had it before, and that’s why he feels it is a success we should feel joy for. He went on to say that he feels the real problem here is personal accountability, and while the government may be making things legal that we don’t support, it is up to us now to make our own choices and to teach our children to make good choices. He also made a supportive statement for the good non-abortive services Planned Parenthood provides, and lamented how so many people who say they are pro-life seem to only show it in instances of abortion, and never in terms of things like war.

i’m not the brightest person. I know nothing about the healthcare mandate cept that it’s suppose to be bad because it makes us pay for contraception and sterilization. Should I be concerned for my spiritual advisers views? Are they ok? no? if not, should I seek a new advisor? I’m very upset right now. It took me So long to find the courage to speak to a priest about my worries, and now all my old fear and anxieties are coming to the surface, because now I don’t know if I should trust his responses. Should I bring them up to another priest? or am I being overdramatic?

 

[Debora123]

Sounds like this priest has more of a liberal political view. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, so long as they don’t endorse things like abortion or gay marriage or anything like that.

 

[Miguelita]

Sounds like this priest has more of a liberal political view. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, so long as they don’t endorse things like abortion or gay marriage or anything like that.

He said that while he doesn’t support abortions and homosexuality, he sees it as being more up to us as Catholics to teach our selves and our children about good morals, regardless of what the government does. He says the government doesn’t force us to make these actions, thank the Lord, and we should be thankful for the good things these decisions bring, while studying against the bad. He’s from a poor country where healthcare is a very rare thing, so I guess I can see why he might be more politically liberal there. I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t know all the places goverment and religion overlap or where I’m suppose to stand. He didn’t say anything that was necessarily against church teachings, just off enough to make me start worrying about my old anxieties and trust

 

[Catholic80]

When I first started reading your post, I thought that your priest might be simply stating that we should be happy through good and bad and strive to see the good in things. But, as I continued reading, red flags started to appear.

In no way should we support a bill, (even if it supports some good things) if it supports bad things. That is the argument for every vice! “I know it’s bad, but…” Red Flag! We should never, never justify evil, even if some “good” comes out of it. This is a false and temporary “good” and their is a huge price tag that comes with it.

 

[Miguelita]

When I first started reading your post, I thought that your priest might be simply stating that we should be happy through good and bad and strive to see the good in things. But, as I continued reading, red flags started to appear.

In no way should we support a bill, (even if it supports some good things) if it supports bad things. That is the argument for every vice! “I know it’s bad, but…” Red Flag! We should never, never justify evil, even if some “good” comes out of it. This is a false and temporary “good” and their is a huge price tag that comes with it.

So should I seek a new advisor? and what about all the conversations we had…should I go and ask them all of a new priest? I finally had peace of mind and was finally starting to deal withmy fears, and now I’m a wreck because all the panics I had gotten over are back now because I don’t know if I can trust him anymore, even on issues that have nothing to DO with what he said here!

 

[MtnDwellar]

I suggest that you continue to rely upon him for Spiritual advice.

 

[Miguelita]

I suggest that you continue to rely upon him for Spiritual advice.

Is that the category that scruples and religion-related anxiety falls under? I’ve come to him a couple times with “is this a sin?” questions…ones I’ve already asked people, mostly, but i’m a very obsessive person…which is why I’m now obsessing over this…: (

 

[Robertanthony]

So should I seek a new advisor? and what about all the conversations we had…should I go and ask them all of a new priest? I finally had peace of mind and was finally starting to deal withmy fears, and now I’m a wreck because all the panics I had gotten over are back now because I don’t know if I can trust him anymore, even on issues that have nothing to DO with what he said here!

No one will answer that for you, Miguelita. I know what it’s like to be anxious because i’ve been that way all my life. I had parents I couldn’t trust so that might have played a considerable role, but I have deep trust issues and I become wary and worried rather quickly. A couple I know are seeing a religious person who is a counsellor/spiritual director of sorts, I had one of the two ask him if he thought Medjugorje was authentic or not. Turns out he does believe in it, mostly because of the “good fruit”. I’d considered going to that person for help as I’m getting more desperate, angry and weary these days, but his answer made me change my mind. I’m not from the US and don’t know enough about the Obamacare to comment on it, although I’m aware there are worries expressed from Christians. He DID recognize the pitfalls, the “buts” of the mandate, it’s not like he thought ALL of it was good news. Give him a chance I say.

 

[MtnDwellar]

Is that the category that scruples and religion-related anxiety falls under? I’ve come to him a couple times with “is this a sin?” questions…ones I’ve already asked people, mostly, but i’m a very obsessive person…which is why I’m now obsessing over this…: (

I think yes… But I consider spiritual advice more in terms of improving one’s prayer life, fasting effectively, reducing vice, growing in virtue, understand scripture and the Catechism, etc.

 

[Miguelita]

I think yes… But I consider spiritual advice more in terms of improving one’s prayer life, fasting effectively, reducing vice, growing in virtue, understand scripture and the Catechism, etc.

Oh…I don’t really have too many issues with that. More like, if I’m happy, I’m miserable, because I’m sure anything that makes me happy is a sin, and I can tell you ten reasons why.

 

[bzornik]

I was away from the church for many years and after going through some difficult personal trials, I found myself walking into my local parish to speak with a priest to make a confession. I did it and after I was done I was thanking the priest over and over. He said something to me that after some time has passed I think I understand. He said “don’t thank me, thank the Lord. I have done very little. It was God that led you here and I just happened to be in the office today.”

I think that this relates to your situation a bit. Remember, that priests are human beings like we are. They are not perfect people. The clergy is a cross section of humanity. They come from all social and economic backgrounds, countries, colors, and cultures. Don’t put all of your faith in a priest. Put your faith in the Lord. Disagreeing with a priest is no reason for your anxiety and worries to resurface. It is God’s grace and your being open to receive that grace that has helped you cope with your anxieties and worries. Keep your faith and trust in God and things will work out. Maybe this is His way of reminding you about that.

Go to your “inner room” and pray on it and pray for your priest. Spend some time reading God’s word. That’s usually what helps.

I hope this was helpful to you and you will be in my prayers this evening.

God Bless

 

[Miguelita]

I was away from the church for many years and after going through some difficult personal trials, I found myself walking into my local parish to speak with a priest to make a confession. I did it and after I was done I was thanking the priest over and over. He said something to me that after some time has passed I think I understand. He said “don’t thank me, thank the Lord. I have done very little. It was God that led you here and I just happened to be in the office today.”

I think that this relates to your situation a bit. Remember, that priests are human beings like we are. They are not perfect people. The clergy is a cross section of humanity. They come from all social and economic backgrounds, countries, colors, and cultures. Don’t put all of your faith in a priest. Put your faith in the Lord. Disagreeing with a priest is no reason for your anxiety and worries to resurface. It is God’s grace and your being open to receive that grace that has helped you cope with your anxieties and worries. Keep your faith and trust in God and things will work out. Maybe this is His way of reminding you about that.

Go to your “inner room” and pray on it and pray for your priest. Spend some time reading God’s word. That’s usually what helps.

I hope this was helpful to you and you will be in my prayers this evening.

God Bless

THis is a very comforting response, thank you

 

[MtnDwellar]

How does your spiritual adviser help you to advance spiritually?

 

[Miguelita]

How does your spiritual adviser help you to advance spiritually?

He helps me to stop being overanylitical of myself, and talks me through issues I have so I can see what truths/lies there are in them

 

[godisgood77]

I’m very concerned and need advice.

Our parish priest has always seemed like one of the most spiritual, loving priests I’ve known. His homilies are attention grabbing, thoughtful, and I’ve never met a priest who knew his Bible so deeply. This is why I chose him to help me deal wiht my severe anxiety, scuples and depression. He’s done a wonderful job, and have helped me find peace.

However, this Sunday, his homily was about envy and sucess, and about how we should rejoice in the triumphs of others instead of feeling bitter. He mentioned how we should be happy for the passing of the health care mandate in this way and I was confused.I later asked him about it, to explain what he meant more thoroughly. He said what he meant was that although he doesn’t support the madates promotion of abortion, he is glad for those who now have medical care, who’ve never had it before, and that’s why he feels it is a success we should feel joy for. He went on to say that he feels the real problem here is personal accountability, and while the government may be making things legal that we don’t support, it is up to us now to make our own choices and to teach our children to make good choices. He also made a supportive statement for the good non-abortive services Planned Parenthood provides, and lamented how so many people who say they are pro-life seem to only show it in instances of abortion, and never in terms of things like war.

i’m not the brightest person. I know nothing about the healthcare mandate cept that it’s suppose to be bad because it makes us pay for contraception and sterilization. Should I be concerned for my spiritual advisers views? Are they ok? no? if not, should I seek a new advisor? I’m very upset right now. It took me So long to find the courage to speak to a priest about my worries, and now all my old fear and anxieties are coming to the surface, because now I don’t know if I should trust his responses. Should I bring them up to another priest? or am I being overdramatic?

It sounds as though you have a wise spiritual advisor who is very Christ-like.

 

[GoldenSunflower]

This reminds me of a conversation that came up tonight during the discussion part of my Bible Study class. The facilitator asked the question of which focus would Christ want us as Catholics to take…:

A) GOOD/vs/ Evil:
The Health Care Act has passed, providing health care for millions of men, women and children in this country who have never had access to such a thing - a Good goal the Church has said is more than worthy of support for many years, because it finally corrects a long standing injustice that affects so many… BUT, it does have the contraceptive and abortion clause that we believe is morally wrong… which is an Evil…

OR

B) EVIL/vs/Good
The Health Care Act has passed, with the contraceptives and abortions clause, which is a great Evil and a great moral injustice against the unborn and those who may have been conceived and thus facilitates the choice of immorality… BUT, it does have the health care clause that provides a needed service for many and thus does a certain amount of Good at the same time…

I think by the end of the night our group decided to say the Act needs a great deal of work still, but is at least a baby step in the right direction and we would rather people have the health care while the bugs are worked out and appealed, rather than deny them health care entirely because it isn’t ‘perfect’ from the very start.

I would suggest you talk more to the priest in question if you are uncertain. He would be the best one to explain in detail his opinions and reasons for them. As your Spiritual Director, these are the kinds of ‘conflicts’ he should be willing and able to explain and discuss with you. Considering society on an overall basis and the conflicts that will arise over time between society vs church, this might be a good topic for you to face with him ‘up front’ now, so that in the future you will feel more confident in discussing these kinds of issues… but that is just my suggestion.

 

[Debora123]

He said that while he doesn’t support abortions and homosexuality, he sees it as being more up to us as Catholics to teach our selves and our children about good morals, regardless of what the government does. He says the government doesn’t force us to make these actions, thank the Lord, and we should be thankful for the good things these decisions bring, while studying against the bad. He’s from a poor country where healthcare is a very rare thing, so I guess I can see why he might be more politically liberal there. I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t know all the places goverment and religion overlap or where I’m suppose to stand. He didn’t say anything that was necessarily against church teachings, just off enough to make me start worrying about my old anxieties and trust

He seems like a perfectly good spiritual adviser. Just don’t talk to him about politics if you don’t agree.