Worrisome Statistics

[PerfectTiming]

“And also do not just read studies and take them at their word.”

When the number of studies approaches 108, the biases are balanced out. If anything, the studies produced by most researchers tend to disregard any ill effects; I simply don’t see a difference in the attitudes of the Guttmacher Inst. and some of the comments here; that weighs on me considerably.

What “attitudes”? We have said chastity is important. All we are saying is that a lack of previous chastity does not dismiss one from the possibility of marriage. If that were the case then there’d be barely any married people. Everyone makes a fault at one point or another, from lusting after someone to pre-marital sex.

Not to mention I am extremely offended that you group me with an institute that promotes abortion, contraception and other immoralities. That is completely uncalled for and you have no place making that kind of an assumption about me. I am a devout Catholic, I follow all the teachings of the Church. I’m becoming a nun. What gives you the right to accuse me of being unorthodox?

 

[elarson3]

I cannot think of a single STD that cannot be tested for nowadays.

There are actually some that are difficult to test for. Herpes often does not manifest in a carrier, but then can be transmitted to someone who then manifests the disease. tests can only show if some one has been exposed to herpes and even then with trends in sexual practices you can not rely on tests for HSV 1 vs 2.

HPV, which causes warts and cervical/penile/anal/and even throat cancers is difficult to test for. We routinely test for precancerous changes in women and some high risk men, and do reflex testing for the actual virus, but only for the most common strains. At this point, short of an abnormal PAP or genital warts, there is no way to know if a woman has HPV.

As far as his original concerns, it sounds like responders are equally judgemental of his expressing his concerns as his concerns have come across as being judgemental.

My own 2 cents:

1. the source you quote is the AGI-very proabortion (funded by PP) who have reason to make it sound like Catholics every bit in line with their own values. They take surveys and ask people what religion they claim, but don’t ask if they’re actually practicing their faith. So many people think of themselves as Catholic as I think of myself as German, Irish, and Enlgish in ancestery.
2. the points already promoted are good points.
3. There is no “perfect” woman out there. She was already taken by God 2000 years ago. The point of marriage is to help each other obtain heaven. If you find a woman who has great qualities, but a poor understanding of the importance of chasity, you can help lead her to that understanding (it takes 2 to tango you know, but you will need strong will power) and she can help you in areas where you are lacking.

 

[Seira]

As far as his original concerns, it sounds like responders are equally judgemental of his expressing his concerns as his concerns have come across as being judgemental.

You noticed that too eh? :compcoff:

 

[elarson3]

Ya, it’s a shame. I think he left without being able to find any real help.

 

[LilyM]

Ya, it’s a shame. I think he left without being able to find any real help.

Sounds like he was looking more to vent than anything else - and what point would there be if we all agreed with him? Wouldn’t help him any.

 

[LilyM]

“And also do not just read studies and take them at their word.”

When the number of studies approaches 108, the biases are balanced out. If anything, the studies produced by most researchers tend to disregard any ill effects; I simply don’t see a difference in the attitudes of the Guttmacher Inst. and some of the comments here; that weighs on me considerably.

Raw data requires careful analysis and interpretation before conclusions can be drawn. I’m certain raw data would indicate that water consumption goes up hand in hand with reported cases of heatstroke.

But this is not to say that consuming lots of water causes heatstroke - on the contrary it can help prevent it. Both additional water consumption and heatstroke are due to a third entirely different factor - hot weather.

So it may be dangerous to conclude because sexual activity accompanies marital problems that it is the cause of those problems. It may be that all are related to some other different factor.

 

[_Abyssinia]

I’m not entirely sure how I can convey my thoughts on this matter, nor whether they will come across as unrestrained fanaticism, but I will try regardless.

I came across this piece of information: “By their early 20s, some 79% of never-married women—and 89% of never-married Catholic women—have had sex.” (Source: guttmacher.org/media/inth…/15/index.html).

Now, I’m usually distraught and despairing on matters of culture and social mores (I have only recently considered changing my mind on my lifelong goal of becoming an anchorite), but with this piece of information having been exhibited, I ask: what would the chances of me (or any person who has lived their life in an utmost chaste manner) actually finding a good, chaste, Catholic wife?

I have read around 108 studies relating either fully or tangentially to the matter of pre-marital sex and its effect on marriages; am I wrong to worry about this? Am I allowed to worry about this? Is this something that I should not be considering? What are optimal resolutions? Can any good come of my concern? Are there things (specific knowledge, in this case) that could allay my concerns? Should I just remain with my original goal?

I will have completed my Master’s degree next Spring, after which I wish to make a choice on the path I choose. I’m in my early twenties, if that matters. And, if my mind were not ill-at-ease enough, many people around me consider “extremely eligible” for marriage (their words; if only they knew my dilemma). sigh

[NB: This was cross-posted accidentally in another section. Sorry.]

I would not trust their statistics on Catholics. Guttmacher Institute is a research of Planned Parenthood. Guttmacher Institute claimed that 98% of Catholic women had used birth control which was debunked by the Washington Post:

washingtonpost.com/blogs/fact-checker/post/the-claim-that-98-percent-of-catholic-women-use-contraception-a-media-foul/2012/02/16/gIQAkPeqIR_blog.html

 

[Slinger]

I’m not entirely sure how I can convey my thoughts on this matter, nor whether they will come across as unrestrained fanaticism, but I will try regardless.

I came across this piece of information: “By their early 20s, some 79% of never-married women—and 89% of never-married Catholic women—have had sex.” (Source: guttmacher.org/media/inth…/15/index.html).

Now, I’m usually distraught and despairing on matters of culture and social mores (I have only recently considered changing my mind on my lifelong goal of becoming an anchorite), but with this piece of information having been exhibited, I ask: what would the chances of me (or any person who has lived their life in an utmost chaste manner) actually finding a good, chaste, Catholic wife?

I have read around 108 studies relating either fully or tangentially to the matter of pre-marital sex and its effect on marriages; am I wrong to worry about this? Am I allowed to worry about this? Is this something that I should not be considering? What are optimal resolutions? Can any good come of my concern? Are there things (specific knowledge, in this case) that could allay my concerns? Should I just remain with my original goal?

I will have completed my Master’s degree next Spring, after which I wish to make a choice on the path I choose. I’m in my early twenties, if that matters. And, if my mind were not ill-at-ease enough, many people around me consider “extremely eligible” for marriage (their words; if only they knew my dilemma). sigh

[NB: This was cross-posted accidentally in another section. Sorry.]

Perhaps you should not be focusing so much on this. Have faith that if God wants you to be married He will provide the perfect person for you…not to be confused with a person who is perfect (flawless)…and you will love her, flaws and all. If not, then God has other plans for you. Relax.

 

[Rkdajr]

PerfectTiming, I am not sure why you’ve focused solely on virginity; I did not even mention that in my first post. I stated chastity was my concern, and that the statistic I mentioned led to my concerns about chastity. I agree with your comment on chastity, of course, since that was my original concern.

HPV is not testable, as an example. A doctor who is a friend mentioned hundreds of STIs/STDs/strains that have no tests available. It’s one thing to be forgiven, but a complete other to be cured. Do you recognize that?

I’ll revise my question: Is it wrong of me to seek out a wife who has unfailingly dedicated their life to chastity (as I have)? Are my concerns with emotional instability and untestable diseases not valid?

CelestineFan, you are definitely not a bad person for wanting this, but right now, I think you should revise your goal. It is just a little unreasonable to except your spouse to have one area of sin completely flawless (I could only understand murder, at least.)

One thing I am unclear about. You said your main focus was on the encompassing virtue of chastity, and then based on that you stated the validity of your concerns about disease and the welfare of your children, which are unrelated. If you truly believe in the power of forgiveness, then what you are actually seeking is a wife who is free of a contagious disease by however means. It is either, or.

I find the statistics disheartening as well, but instead of bringing us down we can focus to the possible redemption of these souls. I think you mean well and don’t mean to judge, but unfortunately it is just something unfair, while not impossible, to expect. I hope you find some consolation and I will pray that you find the spouse He intended you for

 

[Rkdajr]

PerfectTiming, I am not sure why you’ve focused solely on virginity; I did not even mention that in my first post. I stated chastity was my concern, and that the statistic I mentioned led to my concerns about chastity. I agree with your comment on chastity, of course, since that was my original concern.

HPV is not testable, as an example. A doctor who is a friend mentioned hundreds of STIs/STDs/strains that have no tests available. It’s one thing to be forgiven, but a complete other to be cured. Do you recognize that?

I’ll revise my question: Is it wrong of me to seek out a wife who has unfailingly dedicated their life to chastity (as I have)? Are my concerns with emotional instability and untestable diseases not valid?

CelestineFan, you are definitely not a bad person for wanting this, but right now, I think you should revise your goal. It is just a little unreasonable to except your spouse to have one area of sin completely flawless (I could only understand murder, at least.)

One thing I am unclear about. You said your main focus was on the encompassing virtue of chastity, and then based on that you stated the validity of your concerns about disease and the welfare of your children, which are unrelated. If you truly believe in the power of forgiveness, then what you are actually seeking is a wife who is free of a contagious disease by however means. It is either, or.

I find the statistics disheartening as well, but instead of letting it bring us down we can focus on the possible redemption of these souls. I think you mean well and don’t mean to judge, but unfortunately it is just something unfair, while not impossible, to expect. I hope you find some consolation and I will pray that you find the spouse He intended you for

 

[manualman]

What did you expect? We live in a fallen world so in need of a Savior that God himself had to become one of us and suffer the outcome of our sins before we could be forgiven and restored! We’ve got it good these days! Look around and see how fluid human associations are in this day and age. You have the capability of getting involved in a variety of excellent catholic organizations and meeting hundreds of eligible catholic women. 150 years ago, you’d have had your choice of maybe 100 women total within horse range of the average farm as a potential spouse. If you were an American then, how many would even have been catholic, much less virtuous and interesting catholics? Good luck.

The way I see it, you’ve got better options than most young eligible catholic men in history. Be thankful and go find her.

And do be careful about writing off people as irredeemable because of particular sins they’ve committed that you haven’t. I promise, you’d be just a hell-bound without Christ as anybody you’re likely to meet. While sin is real and causes real damage, repentence, forgiveness and sanctification are real too!