Worst Hymn/Song Lyric Heard at Mass

[Annunciata]

delorean_boy:

The worst ever IMO is “Lord of the Dance”
I feel like vomiting everytime I hear it at mass.

Some interesting trivia on “The Lord of The Dance”…

…”For example, the theme song for “Lord of the Dance” uses the “Simple Gifts” melody. “And, after seeing the show, I’ve had people argue that this is really an old English or Irish folk tune,” Folger says. “But I’ve done a lot of research into this, and the Shaker tune definitely came first.”

“Lord of the Dance” is a set of lyrics written for the Shaker melody in 1963 by composer Sydney Carter. Carter’s hymn, which is sung in many churches, uses dance as a metaphor for Jesus’ ministry on Earth. But in recent years the hymn was borrowed by Irish dancer Michael Flatley, who kicked Jesus out of the song, then added a mysterious forest spirit and enough special effects for a rock concert.”

freep.com/fun/music/qshaker11.htm

 

[VeronicasJude]

My God.

Where do you people go to church? I am here to invite all of you to my wonderful parish.

So so sad.

 

[m134e5]

Pug:

I’ve got that Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart, down in my heart to stay…And if the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack, sit on a tack today.

I used to endure that one regularly in the Los Angeles Diocese. I sometimes find talk of “hymns” v. “songs” annoying, but if that doggerel doesn’t take the cake…

I agree with the poster who dislikes, “not in some heaven light years away.”

We used to have to sing that in children’s church at the evangelical church I went to as a kid…now it’s stuck in my head…
GET IT OUT!:banghead: GET IT OUT! :banghead: GET IT OUT! :banghead:

 

[bear06]

Everytime we miss our normal Sunday mass (which is very rare) and church we pay for it with this song. It’s our all time most annoying song. They play it all year long and we can’t really figure out the corralation between the readings and the lyrics. As a matter of fact, I don’t even get the lyrics. One time our 3 year old started humming it in the car and everyone, and I mean everyone yelled “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Give me an old hymn or chant any day!

Here’s the hideous lyrics found on the web. Just imagine them with a blues tune. :bigyikes:​

Wade in the Water
Wade in the Water, children
wade in the Wate
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Who’s that yonder dressed in red
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children that Moses led
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in white
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children of the Israelites
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in blue
Wade in the Water
Must be Children coming through
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

If you don’t believe I’ve been redeemed
Wade in the Water
Just see the holy ghost looking for me
God’s gonna trouble the Water

 

[MarthaMartha]

I came dangerously close to laughing when I had to cantor a hymn with a verse that ended something like “help us in our modern scene/of computer and machine.” It’s in Worship III, I don’t remember the rest of the words, maybe some of you will recognize it. All I could think of is, in church we’re supposed to be thinking of the heavenly gates, not Bill Gates!

 

[Wolseley]

Pug:

I’ve got that Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart, down in my heart to stay…And if the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack, sit on a tack today.

I used to endure that one regularly in the Los Angeles Diocese. I sometimes find talk of “hymns” v. “songs” annoying, but if that doggerel doesn’t take the cake…

This reminds me of a music director who got VERY annoyed with myself and another guy at a retreat once…

He was another one of these cheerleaders who would yell at you if you weren’t showing enough “enthusiasm” for the lame ditties he picked out. So on this occasion, the song was the old Protestant kid’s camp song “I’ve Got a River of Life Flowing Out of Me”. Not a bad song, in and of itself, but certainly not before a meditation period, which is what we were supposed to be moving into in about an hour.

So anyways, when we got to the chorus, me and this other guy added some little hand motions and a couple words in the middle of each stanza—thereby rendering the song thusly:

Spring up, oh well (splish-splash!) within my soul
Spring up, oh well (splish-splash!) and make me who-oh-OLE!
Spring up, oh well (splish-splash!) and give to ME-ee
That life abundantlee!

Oh, I can tell you, he was not amused!

But then, neither were we.

 

[pnewton]

MarthaMartha:

I came dangerously close to laughing when I had to cantor a hymn with a verse that ended something like “help us in our modern scene/of computer and machine.” It’s in Worship III, I don’t remember the rest of the words, maybe some of you will recognize it. All I could think of is, in church we’re supposed to be thinking of the heavenly gates, not Bill Gates!

Maybe Microsoft has expanded into the hymn-writing business. They no doubt will include long pauses and unexplained music stopages.

 

[moira]

OutinChgoburbs:

Gather Us In was the processional hymn this weekend. I had to stifle myself from singing one of the parodies, “Gather us in, the turkey and stuffing! Gather us in, the gravy and ham! And don’t forget that Thanksgiving dinner, just ain’t complete without cranberry jam!”

Gather Us In is one that I dislike very much also. But I love your version!

 

[CathyD]

We were at the parish where my husband and his siblings grew up this past weekend.

As we sang the opening hymn, “All are Welcome”, I noticed what hymn was on the page opposite, “Sing a New Church”. I said to dh, “look how much you could accomplish by ripping just these two pages out of the hymnal.” I don’t refuse to sing many songs at church, but I’ll just put away the hymnal for either of those.

This thread has made it way around various times. I think in a past incarnation, someone made the comment that “Gather Us In” reminded him of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitgerald”. To whoever made that comment, thanks. Like I needed another reason to dislike that song.

Cathy

 

[The_Angelus]

Gather Us In is pretty bad, but has anybody ever heard the one that goes “Olly olly olly, loo ooh yah?” instead of “Alleluia?”

Or the Canticle of the Sun? “Sing to the sun, the bringer of day…” “The moon and the stars, they go where they please…”

Lord of the Dance was a great Michael Flatley production, but as a hymn, it’s crummy.

 

[Micki]

The guitarist played “Lord of the Dance” as a communion hymn. Ugh! But maybe it’s a bit better than the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” for communion?

Micki

 

[TOME]

Maybe this misses the exact goal of this thread but should meet its spirit. Way back when, when I use to be part of a the music program that would do Folk Masses and quite often would pick out the music, my favorite song for the Offertory was “Take our Bread” especially as the collection baskets were going around.

 

[Deo_Volente]

Grace & Peace!

“Help us to be Eucharist for those around us who are hopeless and oppressed”.

I just rolled my eyes. Help us to “be Eucharist”???

The Eucharist is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, Son of God and Son of Man. Even suggesting that we can “be Eucharist” is to place ourselves on the same level as God.

That’s what Satan did, as I recall.

And we all know what happened to him, don’t we?

Actually, this is not bad theology (though I can only imagine what the song sounded like). If we are called to be the Body of Christ in the world (and we are), then are we not also called to Be Eucharist? Not by our own power, but by the power of God working through us by grace in Christ.

When Our Lord says, “Do this in remembrance of me,” I do not think he was only referring to the institution of the Eucharist. It could very easily be read as–“Break yourselves for the world, pour yourselves out for the world, just as I am breaking myself and pouring myself out for you.”

Still, so much liturgical music these days is iffy at best. It just has a character of blandness to it.

Under the Mercy,
Mark

Deo Gratias!

 

[MEP]

“Taste and see,
Ooooh taste and see.
Taste and see,
the goodness of God”

It’s not the lyrics that are so awful (I think “taste and see” is in a Psalm somewhere), but the way this song is sung, it honestly sounds like a commercial jingle. By the time you get to the third “taste and see” in the chorus, it really sounds like they’re going to follow it up with “the goodness of waffles” or something. I’ve only ever heard it at one parish where it wound up in the communion hymn every other week or so (I have no idea why). Even they don’t sing it anymore though, haven’t heard it in years.

Lord of the Dance is a terrible song too though. I’d have to say it’s a tie.

Has anybody here ever read “Why Catholics Can’t Sing”? I haven’t read the book, but it sounds like the author has a beef with recent trends surrounding Catholic hymns in America.

 

[QUICUMQUE_VULT]

The all time worst (IMHO) would have to be “Amazing grace”
I am A converted “Fundy” I was shocked and sickened the first time I heard this insipid “song” at Mass.
I thought I had left banality behind, in the Fundamentalist Church.
Woe unto me, there it was waiting with open arms, in the Catholic Church.

I now attend exclusively our Parish’ Tridentine Mass on Sunday.
Complete with Plainchant, and Sacred Polyphony.
I have never looked back! Deo Gratias!

Tuba, mirum
spargens sonum!
Per sepulchra regionum
Coget omnes ante thronum!

Poetic translation:
Lo, the trumpets wondrus tone!
Shall rend each tombs,sepulchral stone
and summon all, before the throne!

I would rather hear that chanted, at a requiem mass, anyday. Rather than “Amazing grace”

 

[m134e5]

QUICUMQUE VULT:

Tuba, mirum
spargens sonum!
Per sepulchra regionum
Coget omnes ante thronum!

Poetic translation:
Lo, the trumpets wondrus tone!
Shall rend each tombs,sepulchral stone
and summon all, before the throne!

I would rather hear that chanted, at a requiem mass, anyday. Rather than “Amazing grace”

Amazing Grace is too protestant for me. Dies Irae- now THAT’s Catholic.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

bear06:

Everytime we miss our normal Sunday mass (which is very rare) and church we pay for it with this song. It’s our all time most annoying song. They play it all year long and we can’t really figure out the corralation between the readings and the lyrics. As a matter of fact, I don’t even get the lyrics. One time our 3 year old started humming it in the car and everyone, and I mean everyone yelled “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Give me an old hymn or chant any day!

Here’s the hideous lyrics found on the web. Just imagine them with a blues tune. :bigyikes:​

Wade in the Water
Wade in the Water, children
wade in the Wate
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Who’s that yonder dressed in red
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children that Moses led
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in white
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children of the Israelites
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in blue
Wade in the Water
Must be Children coming through
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

If you don’t believe I’ve been redeemed
Wade in the Water
Just see the holy ghost looking for me
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Bear: I think that it refers to the Gospel passage where Jesus heals the man at the pool of Bethsaida (?). The sick gathered there and a times the waters would mysteriously be troubled (stirred by an angel). The first person into the pool would be healed. I remember thinking when I was a little Baptist that it would be a really crappy deal if you waited there a long time with two bad legs, couldn’t walk, etc., only to be beaten into the pool by a guy who had just showed up with, like, a wall-eye or psoriasis. It didn’t seem quite fair.

 

[Bobby_Jim]

bear06:

Everytime we miss our normal Sunday mass (which is very rare) and church we pay for it with this song. It’s our all time most annoying song. They play it all year long and we can’t really figure out the corralation between the readings and the lyrics. As a matter of fact, I don’t even get the lyrics. One time our 3 year old started humming it in the car and everyone, and I mean everyone yelled “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Give me an old hymn or chant any day!

Here’s the hideous lyrics found on the web. Just imagine them with a blues tune. :bigyikes:​

Wade in the Water
Wade in the Water, children
wade in the Wate
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Who’s that yonder dressed in red
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children that Moses led
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in white
Wade in the Water
Must be the Children of the Israelites
God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

Who’s that yonder dressed in blue
Wade in the Water
Must be Children coming through
And God’s gonna trouble the Water

Refrain

If you don’t believe I’ve been redeemed
Wade in the Water
Just see the holy ghost looking for me
God’s gonna trouble the Water

I think this is an old African American Spiritual. It’s about baptism. My church uses “Wade in the Water” at the Easter Vigil, and it sounds out of place. I don’t think the largely white suburban crowd gets it, but I think it gets shoe-horned in in the name of “diversity”. But what to some people is a beloved traditional hymn is someone else’s hated song with “hideous” lyrics. Interesting… I wonder what they say about the songs I like down on 72nd street in Chicago.

 

[Asella]

I don’t like “Goin’ to See the King”. It sounds like a song that would be sung in one of those non-denominational churches where they get up and start dancing and clapping their hands. The rhythm of it reminds me of Elvis Presley’s songs. I prefer more traditional hymns.

 

[brotherhrolf]

I have a simple rule of thumb: If I can envisage Kermit and Miss Piggy et al singing it…if it waddles like a duck, if it sheds feathers like a duck, if it quacks like a duck -

It must be the dreaded SACRO-POP! (E.g. anything from Glory and Praise, Gather, or any of the other simply horrid garbage that passes as liturgical music).

With 1500 years of liturgical music to choose from …