Would appreciate some perspective

[TheRealJuliane]

Thank you all-you helped me see both sides (something I not particularly good at)

Wisdom comes with age (usually). You’ll gain some as time goes by. In fact, this experience has already added to your store of wisdom…

 

[Ohana]

Years ago, hospitals staffed enough nurses to care for your loved ones. Now, the cutbacks in staffing mean that if you care about your loved one you need to stay with them.

Agree wholeheartedly

 

[Planet_Claire]

Chiming in late here…sounds like you got good replies. I just wanted to add that when my dad had cancer, my 72-yr-old mom didn’t stay overnight in the hospital during his last days. (By the way, we didn’t know they’d be his last days. He went very fast, which was actually a blessing considering the stage and type of cancer. Most of us were there when he died, which happened to be in the morning, during regular visiting hours.)

It was just too much for her to stay overnight, plus, I’m not sure that was even allowed. She did come in early and left late, but I thought if she did more, she’d literally collapse. As for me, my father didn’t want me there too often. He had a lot of pride, and didn’t want people to see him when he was like that. He got quite angry at me for visiting when he didn’t want me to, so after that I respected his wishes to only visit when it was his idea.

I guess my point is, it’s a hard, complicated time for everyone and no one wants to see elderly relatives collapsing or risking their own health. I’m sorry you’re going through this. We’d all like to die peacefully in our beds surrounded by loved ones but it doesn’t always happen. I’m sure you’re of great comfort to her and the others.