Would God call someone like me to religious life?

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Monica4316

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Hi,

This question has been on my mind for a long time… I’m just wondering what you all think. I’m an only child and we don’t have any relatives in the country, it’s just my mom, dad, and me. I think I’m obligated to help take care of my parents when they are older. But sometimes I wonder if I can be called to religious life. I can’t seem to figure this out and I get scared when I think about it but I’m trying to just trust God and give the situation to Him. I would really love to be a nun… I don’t feel the same way about marriage. I would only marry in obedience to God 😦 Sure I have a natural desire for a family but I feel strongly about religious life. Sometimes I really want to give away everything I have and this happens when I come closer to Christ. I don’t know… I realize that discernment is difficult, that* I could be wrong*, that discernment should be done with the guidance of a priest, etc. I still have to pay my student loans and I’m still discerning. But my question is: WOULD God ever call someone in my situation to religious life? Has it happened? If so, how do they make sure their parents are taken care of when they’re older? This is causing me a lot of fear and pain and I’m not sure what to think 😦 I know God placed me in my family, I really love my family, I just don’t know what He wants me to do. My question is, if He ever calls people in this situation to religious life and what they do then. Thanks 🙂
 
Hi!

I can’t answer that question for you but I would take it to God and tell him you don’t know what you should do. Tell him what you told us. I believe in some way he will give you the answer.

I was wondering once myself and asked God. That night I had this dream that I won’t forget—decided no I really want to get married. I think that is my calling but now I just need to wait for the right guy to marry. lol Waiting can be hard but I think maybe that is what God wants me to do.

Kim
 
Sometimes we like to just ask the question again, sort of a fresh look at it. There is nothing wrong with this. I get miffed at people when they think you should search the forum for similar or the same questions. Nothing is more meaningful than to ask the question for yourself or to re ask it with new faces to answer. Just my opinion.
 
Jack_Bauer said:
Sometimes we like to just ask the question again, sort of a fresh look at it. There is nothing wrong with this. I get miffed at people when they think you should search the forum for similar or the same questions. Nothing is more meaningful than to ask the question for yourself or to re ask it with new faces to answer. Just my opinion.
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I wasn’t trying to be ugly by posting old topics. I just remembered that I had answered her same question awhile back. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that…
 
If I could offer a suggestion, some friends of mine have a daughter who is 16 and she has been thinking about this as well. She has been actively involved in church based things like doing the readings etc. To help her discern better she went and stayed at a convent for a little while to give her a better idea. Maybe that could help you to see what it is all about, in the way nuns live day to day.
 
DaughterOfMary6 said:
I wasn’t trying to be ugly by posting old topics. I just remembered that I had answered her same question awhile back. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that…
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It’s not about you. Back away from the computer. :rolleyes:

Man, people gets so sensitive over nothing. I was being supportive, not … whatever it is you thought.
 
Jack_Bauer said:
It’s not about you. Back away from the computer. :rolleyes:

Man, people gets so sensitive over nothing. I was being supportive, not … whatever it is you thought.
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There is no need to act like this. This is a Christian website. Think before you post. 🤷
 
Ok, let’s stop derailing the thread and get back on topic… 🤷
 
What do you see as your role in supporting your parents as they age? I ask only because I have an aunt who has been a nun for over 50 years. While she did not financially support my grandparents in their later years, she was a tremendous support to them in other ways. She was present when her father had open heart surgery and other medical issues, and for her mother after her father passed. When my grandmother - her mother - was failing, my dear aunt made several trips to see her. She would give her massage, cut her hair, take care of her nails, kept her company and more. She was at my grandmother’s bedside at her death, sharing prayer and comfort throughout.

I guess what I’m saying is that you can continue to be a daughter today and also be a nun. In determining which order to join, as an only child, you might want to address this with the orders you consider and ask them directly what options you might have if your parents needed help in one way or another. Depending on your responsibilities, you may be able to provide a great deal of support to your parents.

I have also know of individuals with religious vocations who have been afforded the opportunity to take leaves of absence to care for failing parents. So, I guess my suggestion is that you write down what you think your responsibilities are to your parents, and bring them to the orders you are considering for conversation. Also talk with your parents- you may find that they have their own care already worked out or have ideas of how they want things managed.

Best wishes and God Bless you in your journey!
 
formerlysure said:
What do you see as your role in supporting your parents as they age? I ask only because I have an aunt who has been a nun for over 50 years. While she did not financially support my grandparents in their later years, she was a tremendous support to them in other ways. She was present when her father had open heart surgery and other medical issues, and for her mother after her father passed. When my grandmother - her mother - was failing, my dear aunt made several trips to see her. She would give her massage, cut her hair, take care of her nails, kept her company and more. She was at my grandmother’s bedside at her death, sharing prayer and comfort throughout.
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Thank you for sharing this, that is sort of what I mean… if I may ask, what order was your aunt in? Was it contemplative? do you think all orders would allow this?
I guess what I’m saying is that you can continue to be a daughter today and also be a nun. In determining which order to join, as an only child, you might want to address this with the orders you consider and ask them directly what options you might have if your parents needed help in one way or another. Depending on your responsibilities, you may be able to provide a great deal of support to your parents.
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I had the same thought…about asking the order…
I have also know of individuals with religious vocations who have been afforded the opportunity to take leaves of absence to care for failing parents. So, I guess my suggestion is that you write down what you think your responsibilities are to your parents, and bring them to the orders you are considering for conversation. Also talk with your parents- you may find that they have their own care already worked out or have ideas of how they want things managed.
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Best wishes and God Bless you in your journey!
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thanks! 🙂 I think my parents are sort of assuming that I would be married… I will have to see where God leads me.

God bless!
 
My aunt is with the Sisters of St. Joseph. Their motherhouse is in Concordia, Kansas.

This is a lovely order of women who do very meaningful work. They may know of other orders closer to your community that you might consider - I am pretty out of the loop on orders of sisters, admittedly.

Best wishes!
 
Sometimes God does ask this sacrifice of us. I am discerning a vocation to a Discalced Carmelite community which doesn’t allow for home visits, even for parental sickness and death (not all Discalced or Theresian Carmels are like that, each decides for itself). I find that I am having to allow God to take care of my parents instead of trying to be in control myself.

One poster suggested restricting the communities you consider to those that would allow you to visit your parents a lot, but that is not giving God everything. To place limits on what we will give up for God prevents Him being able to call us to our vocation. If you have posted on this several times I think you are called to the Religious Life, if it is a thought that just won’t go away that is often a sign of a vocation. It is hard to be asked to give up marriage, children and our parents but God will give it back to you, a hundred times over. Since your parents will share that sacrifice, they’ll share in the reward. In time, they’ll probably find that they haven’t lost a daughter, they have gained many new ones in other members of your community. I know that other members of the community I hope to join were in your situation, and their parents were upset at first but are now very happy and feel that the community supports them too.

I hope that this helps you. God won’t abandon your parents if you enter religious life. Remember that when He was dying on the cross, Our Lord ensured that His Mother would be cared for. If He did that for His Mother, He will do it for yours, if you follow him.
 
🙂
starsmurf said:
If you have posted on this several times I think you are called to the Religious Life, if it is a thought that just won’t go away that is often a sign of a vocation.
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I agree with this–I think you are probably called to the religious life since you are wondering all the time. 🙂

You also said earlier:

“I would really love to be a nun… I don’t feel the same way about marriage. I would only marry in obedience to God”

What you said also makes me believe you don’t want to get married–you would rather be a nun. See with me it is the opposite. I have thought of being a nun only because I want to make God happy but I have learned through talking to God that he wants ME to be happy. lol Your vocation is what would make you the happiest–I think deep down we all know what our vocation is even if at the moment we aren’t doing that vocation. I am not married yet but I think it is my vocation to be someday–you are not a nun yet but I believe someday you will be. 🙂 Follow your heart–and as someone told me once when I was sad about being single “if God gives you the desire to get married–you will be married someday. He would not give you that desire in your heart without providing the way to get there” 🙂 I always remember that advice!!

Hope this helps!

Kim
 
Monica4316 said:
Hi,

This question has been on my mind for a long time… I’m just wondering what you all think. I’m an only child and we don’t have any relatives in the country, it’s just my mom, dad, and me. I think I’m obligated to help take care of my parents when they are older. But sometimes I wonder if I can be called to religious life. I can’t seem to figure this out and I get scared when I think about it but I’m trying to just trust God and give the situation to Him. I would really love to be a nun… I don’t feel the same way about marriage. I would only marry in obedience to God 😦 Sure I have a natural desire for a family but I feel strongly about religious life. Sometimes I really want to give away everything I have and this happens when I come closer to Christ. I don’t know… I realize that discernment is difficult, that* I could be wrong*, that discernment should be done with the guidance of a priest, etc. I still have to pay my student loans and I’m still discerning. But my question is: WOULD God ever call someone in my situation to religious life? Has it happened? If so, how do they make sure their parents are taken care of when they’re older? This is causing me a lot of fear and pain and I’m not sure what to think 😦 I know God placed me in my family, I really love my family, I just don’t know what He wants me to do. My question is, if He ever calls people in this situation to religious life and what they do then. Thanks 🙂
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Yes, I don’t remember which passage it was, but a rich, young man who had everything, wanted to follow Jesus. And he asked Jesus what should he do to follow Christ? Jesus told him to leave everything - every penny, material things he owns. The young man could not bear the thought of losing his worldly treasures, so he walked away.

Another instance is when Jesus called the fishermen brothers, to whom Jesus said, “Come, follow me. I will make you fishers of men.” And instantly they left their nets and father to follow Jesus.

I watched the first part of the film “Fishers of Men”, and there’s a priest who said, “Becoming a priest is not natural, it’s supernatural.” The same goes to each of those who are called to live the religious life. Have faith. Continue to seek God. It would help to visit the Blessed Sacrament.

Continue to discern your vocation. Praying for you.
 
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