Would I be allowed to be in a relationship if I was never intimate or got married?

[Wuggums47]

I’m gay, and I don’t care an awful lot about intimacy, in fact I don’t really want it. But I don’t want to be alone forever and have nobody(mortal) to love me. There are people out there who are romantically gay but don’t have any sexual desires, so it wouldn’t be impossible to find someone. I wouldn’t need to get married either if I’m not allowed to. But would I still be in the wrong just for being in a relationship? I’m trying to find something I’d be doing that is a sin, but I can’t think of anything. I guess I just want other opinions on this. If you think it’s still bad, I’d kind of like to see some doctrine supporting that, because I can’t find any. Also if your going to say it’s a choice, I promise you I’m not lying when I say I never chose it. Why would I choose it?

 

[AussieTrish]

Wuggums, there is no reason why you can’t have the companionship of dear close male or female friends. Jesus called John 'the beloved disciple. [John 20:2]
John was His most faithful friend and disciple who didn’t desert Him when all his other male friends and disciples abandoned Him during His time of torture and death.
May God bless and support you in the challenges of your life.

 

[merne9]

While listening to one of the past radio programs on catholic answers live I heard something i have never heard before. I twas with Sherif Girgis if you want to look it up.
We are destined for a vocation of love. You will have to figure out what form this love takes. For some, a bodily connection, therefore marriage. If not, there are other types of love for example; Friendship, council, shared spiritual goals and so on.
In society we are bombarded with the notion that love = sex. But not all loving relatinoships are meant to be sexual. Actually, just one type of relationship is to be sexual meaning marriage.
I’m sure you can find very helpful audio or books at Catholic Answers.

 

[Cackles]

I’m gay, and I don’t care an awful lot about intimacy, in fact I don’t really want it. But I don’t want to be alone forever and have nobody(mortal) to love me. There are people out there who are romantically gay but don’t have any sexual desires, so it wouldn’t be impossible to find someone. I wouldn’t need to get married either if I’m not allowed to. But would I still be in the wrong just for being in a relationship? I’m trying to find something I’d be doing that is a sin, but I can’t think of anything. I guess I just want other opinions on this. If you think it’s still bad, I’d kind of like to see some doctrine supporting that, because I can’t find any. Also if your going to say it’s a choice, I promise you I’m not lying when I say I never chose it. Why would I choose it?

Wow amazing post.

People will get mad at me so I couldn’t go into specifics, but you are allowed to do more than what you think. What the rules are inside the church is secret knowledge. Yes you can be ‘close friends’ with a man. Remember God made you this way. Others turn this way later in life. Jesus says that those who can not get married should work for God if you feel you meet this calling. You have gifts in other areas.

The thing with working for God is you need to be pulled out of the society where you have great temptation. If you slip once or do the wrong thing, there might be no going back.

If you want to live outside the church, you’ll have a harder time being friends with men.

NOTE: You’re soul mate is only available in a woman so a man will never be a soul mate for you, but that shouldn’t matter. You need to consider joining the Church as Jesus says. Catholics need more clergy.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

I’m gay, and I don’t care an awful lot about intimacy, in fact I don’t really want it. But I don’t want to be alone forever and have nobody(mortal) to love me. There are people out there who are romantically gay but don’t have any sexual desires, so it wouldn’t be impossible to find someone. I wouldn’t need to get married either if I’m not allowed to. But would I still be in the wrong just for being in a relationship? I’m trying to find something I’d be doing that is a sin, but I can’t think of anything. I guess I just want other opinions on this. If you think it’s still bad, I’d kind of like to see some doctrine supporting that, because I can’t find any. Also if your going to say it’s a choice, I promise you I’m not lying when I say I never chose it. Why would I choose it?

Sex is bad, intimacy is perfectly fine.

Wow amazing post.

People will get mad at me so I couldn’t go into specifics, but you are allowed to do more than what you think. What the rules are inside the church is secret knowledge. Yes you can be ‘close friends’ with a man. Remember God made you this way. Others turn this way later in life. Jesus says that those who can not get married should work for God if you feel you meet this calling. You have gifts in other areas.

**The thing with working for God is you need to be pulled out of the society where you have great temptation. If you slip once or do the wrong thing, there might be no going back. **

If you want to live outside the church, you’ll have a harder time being friends with men.

Catholics make way too big a deal out of the consequences of an LGB person making a mistake.

NOTE: You’re soul mate is only available in a woman so a man will never be a soul mate for you, but that shouldn’t matter. You need to consider joining the Church as Jesus says. Catholics need more clergy.

That’s not Catholic teaching and toeing heresy. Soul mates plainly don’t exist and marriage is a purely carnal union not a spiritual union.

 

[Netty1]

May I suggest looking into the life of Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman and his life-long friend Father Ambrose St. John?

They shared a house and now share the same grave and headstone. Whether they were SSA has been a matter of long, and sometimes uncharitable, debate. However, as Newman became celibate at the age of 15 even if he was SSA, the likelihood is that he did not act upon it.

Newman said at the time of Fr St John’s death: “I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband’s or a wife’s, but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or any one’s sorrow greater, than mine.”

There can be companionship, friendship and love within the parameters set by God, and as the Bride of Christ, the parameters of Holy Mother Church.

Newman said: “There have been men before now, who have supposed Christian love was so diffuse as not to admit of concentration upon individuals; so that we ought to love all men equally. Now I shall maintain here, in opposition to such notions of Christian love, and with our Saviour’s pattern before me, that the best preparation for loving the world at large, and loving it duly and wisely, is to cultivate our intimate friendship and affection towards those who are immediately about us.” (Newman, “Love of Relations and Friends”, Parochial and Plain Sermons, Volume 2, Sermon 5.)

 

[Wuggums47]

I’m not entirely sure that there is just one soul mate out there for everyone, I think people have a certain number of compatible people out there to choose from. I don’t really see how if there is just one soul mate for me they could be a woman though, because I don’t like women in a romantic sense. It wouldn’t really work out.

 

[Cackles]

I’m not entirely sure that there is just one soul mate out there for everyone, I think people have a certain number of compatible people out there to choose from. I don’t really see how if there is just one soul mate for me they could be a woman though, because I don’t like women in a romantic sense. It wouldn’t really work out.

God issues out souls when you come out of the body at birth. True there’s different soul types but it’s probably more complex than that and factors in societal influence and upbringing of course. But some girls will stay girls, others will be mothers. I’ve dated about 30-40 girls and had 3 ex gf’s. Only one was my soul mate and i knew it on my first phone call with her. We spent every day together for 6 months straight. Got married, had two kids. It’s a soulmate though, not soul best friend. With men they’re not true soulmates.

God controls whether you’ll get married and have kids or whether you’ll meet someone. If you dont like women, then this is Gods plan and calling. He doesnt want you married. I could tell you why, but thats secret teaching that is not officially supported in the catholic church for layity. Im not sure what they tell you on the inside.

There’s actually a BBC program called ‘the monestary’ on BBC. It’s like a 4 part documentary series. You should watch it on Youtube. Plenty of men as close friends.

 

[EasterJoy]

You are right; the Church is usually fairly explicit about what is forbidden and about what is inherently praiseworthy, and speaks less about situations that are neither inherently good nor inherently bad.

People who are unsuitable for marriage because they don’t have any propensity for sexual consort with the opposite sex are still allowed to have close friends and chaste cohabitation. There is nothing inherently wrong with what you are proposing, provided it does not present a near occasion of serious sin.

To avoid giving scandal (that is, to avoid normalizing the sinful situations of others who really are in sin by your own public conduct), do not approximate a romantic same-sex relationship. The need to avoid scandal, however, does not go so far as to forbid any adults from cohabitating without marriage. IOW, you can live with another lifelong bachelor; this is OK.

 

[MacQ]

I’m gay, and I don’t care an awful lot about intimacy, in fact I don’t really want it. But I don’t want to be alone forever and have nobody(mortal) to love me. There are people out there who are romantically gay but don’t have any sexual desires, so it wouldn’t be impossible to find someone. I wouldn’t need to get married either if I’m not allowed to. But would I still be in the wrong just for being in a relationship? I’m trying to find something I’d be doing that is a sin, but I can’t think of anything. I guess I just want other opinions on this. If you think it’s still bad, I’d kind of like to see some doctrine supporting that, because I can’t find any. Also if your going to say it’s a choice, I promise you I’m not lying when I say I never chose it. Why would I choose it?

Seems to me that would be called a friendship, so what’s wrong with that?

 

[MacQ]

God issues out souls when you come out of the body at birth.

With men they’re not true soulmates.

God controls whether you’ll get married and have kids or whether you’ll meet someone.

Those are 3 very odd statements.

1. You don’t think a baby in utero has a soul?
2. Why can’t a man be a true soulmate for another man?
3. What happened to that free will thingy?

 

[MacQ]

Wow amazing post.

People will get mad at me so I couldn’t go into specifics, but you are allowed to do more than what you think. What the rules are inside the church is secret knowledge. Yes you can be ‘close friends’ with a man. Remember God made you this way. Others turn this way later in life. Jesus says that those who can not get married should work for God if you feel you meet this calling. You have gifts in other areas.

The thing with working for God is you need to be pulled out of the society where you have great temptation. If you slip once or do the wrong thing, there might be no going back.

If you want to live outside the church, you’ll have a harder time being friends with men.

NOTE: You’re soul mate is only available in a woman so a man will never be a soul mate for you, but that shouldn’t matter. You need to consider joining the Church as Jesus says. Catholics need more clergy.

What a load of nonsense.
Where do you get the idea that there are secret rules that you can get away with?
And where does the idea come from that only the opposite sex can be a soul mate?

 

[Avocadomom]

It worked for The Golden Girls.

 

[Cackles]

Sex is bad, intimacy is perfectly fine.

Catholics make way too big a deal out of the consequences of an LGB person making a mistake.

That’s not Catholic teaching and toeing heresy. Soul mates plainly don’t exist and marriage is a purely carnal union not a spiritual union.

LGB is the new acronym i guess that the media gave you. More ‘cute’ sounding and blurrs the lines with lies. Anyhow, gay men who are catholic who make mistakes are often the worst of mistakes because it pulls them into a lifestyle that is not approved of by God,

Being gay and righteous is like being on a diet. Most people on a diet give up because they cheated and feel they dont have the willpower. When Oprah came about, a new attitude got started from heavy women saying they were proud and beutiful and shouldnt need to diet. So dieting isnt as big as it used to be and no one does anything about their weight anymore.

So now we’re in a time where it’s not such a big deal to disobeye God because everyone themselves is now their own god (self idolatry… the most serious sin because it’s the source of all sin).

So you say it’s not such a big deal to make mistakes as being gay, but Id say to you, that one mistake from the gay man out in our fallen secular society can take away his share in the world to come.

 

[Cackles]

Those are 3 very odd statements.

1. You don’t think a baby in utero has a soul?
2. Why can’t a man be a true soulmate for another man?
3. What happened to that free will thingy?

1. The baby only get the soul issued after the baby is fully out of the womb. This is why if the mother is threatened with death instead of the baby, we save the mother. Even if the mother wants the baby because it’s worse to kill someone with a soul than without. Although, killing all human life is bad but we’re talking about the most rarest of situations.
2. Because to cleave to a woman and become 1 flesh, this person must be a soulmate. If not, then the marriage wont last. The more we see ourselves as ‘souls’ instead of ‘flesh’, the MUCH easier it is to choose a soul mate. You dont even have to date. Friends can just point you to a proper match. But today everyone is so evile and messed up we’re all blinded because of the darkness.
3. Free will means you have the choice to follow God or not. That’s all it means. So you have free will to do anything you like. There’s very rare times free will is taken away. This is when God choses you to be a prophet or messenger. Our Lady might visit you. You might have a near death experience and see heaven or hell first hand. When these things happen you completely lose Free Will and end up working for God because you are so scared from what you saw. If you could see heaven and hell, you would lose free will. People wouldnt bother going to work, they would run and hide and sing psalms all day. So God ensures that we always have Free Will. When we need proof to have faith, God ensures it’s available. When science tries to disprove, God allows more scienticif proof. His proof ALWAYS has doubt placed in it though. He wants you to have Free Will regarding the proof he gives you. He’s not going to give you bulletproof, case closed proof. He always allows opposition in his proof. So theres the shroud of turin. A 1% contamination would make the shroud from about 30 AD. But the logic of man through laughable carbon dating says otherwise despite there being proof the shroud was documented in much earlier befor the carbon dating. So you have choice to follow Atheists out of Academia, are you have a choice to believe in Gods Truth.

That is what free choice is all about. God controls how much money you’ll make, if you’ll get married, what kind of soul you get, etc. if you are greedy and want money so bad you lie, cheat, and backstab, he’ll let you have it and let you live a long life in luxury. That is your reward for the little bit of good you have done in this life. But afterwards… Expect some dark hallway with some unfriendly ushers to show you where your going. Instead of that you want express to heaven and see family members to great you. If you are religious and catholic you might see Jesus at the doors, with a bunch of keys, and he might even go over your life. He’ll say he didnt know you and send you down to the hellfire. You see, this is the reason I dont eat pork anymore. BECAUSE IM SCARED AND HAVE THE FEAR OF GOD IN ME!!!

 

[EasterJoy]

1. The baby only get the soul issued after the baby is fully out of the womb. This is why if the mother is threatened with death instead of the baby, we save the mother. Even if the mother wants the baby because it’s worse to kill someone with a soul than without. Although, killing all human life is bad but we’re talking about the most rarest of situations.
2. Because to cleave to a woman and become 1 flesh, this person must be a soulmate. If not, then the marriage wont last. The more we see ourselves as ‘souls’ instead of ‘flesh’, the MUCH easier it is to choose a soul mate. You dont even have to date. Friends can just point you to a proper match. But today everyone is so evile and messed up we’re all blinded because of the darkness.
3. Free will means you have the choice to follow God or not. That’s all it means. So you have free will to do anything you like. There’s very rare times free will is taken away. This is when God choses you to be a prophet or messenger. Our Lady might visit you. You might have a near death experience and see heaven or hell first hand. When these things happen you completely lose Free Will and end up working for God because you are so scared from what you saw. If you could see heaven and hell, you would lose free will. People wouldnt bother going to work, they would run and hide and sing psalms all day. So God ensures that we always have Free Will. When we need proof to have faith, God ensures it’s available. When science tries to disprove, God allows more scienticif proof. His proof ALWAYS has doubt placed in it though. He wants you to have Free Will regarding the proof he gives you. He’s not going to give you bulletproof, case closed proof. He always allows opposition in his proof. So theres the shroud of turin. A 1% contamination would make the shroud from about 30 AD. But the logic of man through laughable carbon dating says otherwise despite there being proof the shroud was documented in much earlier befor the carbon dating. So you have choice to follow Atheists out of Academia, are you have a choice to believe in Gods Truth.

That is what free choice is all about. God controls how much money you’ll make, if you’ll get married, what kind of soul you get, etc. if you are greedy and want money so bad you lie, cheat, and backstab, he’ll let you have it and let you live a long life in luxury. That is your reward for the little bit of good you have done in this life. But afterwards… Expect some dark hallway with some unfriendly ushers to show you where your going. Instead of that you want express to heaven and see family members to great you. If you are religious and catholic you might see Jesus at the doors, with a bunch of keys, and he might even go over your life. He’ll say he didnt know you and send you down to the hellfire. You see, this is the reason I dont eat pork anymore. BECAUSE IM SCARED AND HAVE THE FEAR OF GOD IN ME!!!

Just for the record, this personal opinion is not the teaching of the Church.

 

[SMGS127]

Just for the record, this personal opinion is not the teaching of the Church.

Thank you. Cackles has been saying all sorts of crazy stuff [some even directly in opposition to Catholic teaching, such as endorsing so-called ‘kosher’ porn or contraceptives or suggesting God will not forgive certain sexual sins] and representing it as Catholic teaching. It is clearly not.

 

[Hopey]

Before I moved in with anyone, other than a room mate, I would ask a lot of questions and maybe get an independent, trustworthy person to look at this also (confessor/spiritual director, etc).

When you mention intimacy, it can be confused for other things. We are designed not to be alone and in living a chaste life, friendships do and can blossom - good thing.
Whether or not what your motives are to move in, what it mean to be intimate, the illusion it gives, the other person and how they view chastity are important questions in my book that need to be answered honestly.
If I were attracted sexually to the person, I don’t think I would move in with them as it would seem to put me and them in constant temptation.
Does that mean you can not have deep friendships? No. We all strive to have them, they are good. Being attracted to someone sexually though would make me pause whether it was good for me, or the other, or give the illusion we were a “couple” even though we might be chaste.

 

[Hopey]

Cackles,
You have some very interesting opinions about soul mates and the ensoulment of pre-born children.

Following through with the one, soul mates of spouses, would that mean, to you, if you determined that someone was a soul mate to you, but they rejected your offer for marriage, that the potential spouse was committing soul adultery?
I also have to ask about those whose spouses die and they go on to remarry. Does that mean, to you, that God created X number of soul mates for them, but only one for others?
Also, for priests who choose priesthood over marrying, does that mean their soul mate is forever single?
I guess, how are you determining what is determined by God and what is largely our decision, assuming you recognize free will and our cooperation with God. IOW, I think he fully would allow us to marry someone who would help us get to heaven - spiritual partners. Where others, it would seem they might be tempting us elsewhere. I do believe he allows us to make our bed and sleep in it.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

LGB is the new acronym i guess that the media gave you. More ‘cute’ sounding and blurrs the lines with lies. Anyhow, gay men who are catholic who make mistakes are often the worst of mistakes because it pulls them into a lifestyle that is not approved of by God,

Heterosexual men fall in to all sorts of lifestyles of sin such as pornography and fornication.

Being gay and righteous is like being on a diet. Most people on a diet give up because they cheated and feel they dont have the willpower. When Oprah came about, a new attitude got started from heavy women saying they were proud and beutiful and shouldnt need to diet. So dieting isnt as big as it used to be and no one does anything about their weight anymore.

I don’t understand this analogy

So now we’re in a time where it’s not such a big deal to disobeye God because everyone themselves is now their own god (self idolatry… the most serious sin because it’s the source of all sin).

Erm, okay

So you say it’s not such a big deal to make mistakes as being gay, but Id say to you, that one mistake from the gay man out in our fallen secular society can take away his share in the world to come.

I think they need to pick themselves up, confess their sins and strive to do better.