Would It Be Sinful For A Brother/Sister To Live Together?

[Marysann]

Single brothers and sisters have always lived together. One famous case of a brother living with his sisters was Lazarus, and his sisters Martha and Mary. Our Lord was their good friend, and He didn’t hesitate to visit their home. We have a more modern example in our own family. In the 1930’s, when my father was in college, he lived with his sister who was single and working as a nurse. He kept an eye on her “gentlemen callers,” and even asked the intentions of one guy who was spending a lot of time at their place. He said “I am going to marry your sister.” And he did!

 

[runningdude]

I am attending a community college right now to get my basics done. My step-sister is currently finishing up her senior year in high school and both of us are planning on attending the same 4 year university. My dad and step mom gave the two of us an idea on how we can save money during college.

It is never sinful to live with family.

 

[runningdude]

I am attending a community college right now to get my basics done. My step-sister is currently finishing up her senior year in high school and both of us are planning on attending the same 4 year university. My dad and step mom gave the two of us an idea on how we can save money during college.

It is never sinful to live with family.

You do make a good point. But even if a unmarried boyfriend/girlfriend couple were living together and they told everyone they knew that they were remaining celibate until marriage, it would still be sinful. If it is okay for a brother/sister to live together why is it not okay for a boyfriend/girlfriend to live together even if they don’t sleep together, …

A boyfriend/girlfriend are not family (until they marry).

 

[crochet_lady]

I’m in my mid-60’s and have seen a gradual shift in ‘what is proper’. While it’s true that people are going to think whatever they are going to think, on the One hand, ‘when in doubt, don’t’. On the Other hand – you’re brother and step-sister? the way you act together will tell it’s own story and as you get to know other students and neighbors, you’ll have opportunity to introduce each other. But – on Another level – there Was a family – two single parents met and got married – a blended family. Unfortunately the older step-sister and step-brother Also were attracted to each other. They both wanted to go to college – but to the Same college. The parents said to go to Different colleges for at least a couple of years – to get away from the chemistry they were feeling for each other.
So - we start making important decisions in life. It’s so much Fun being a responsible adult. Concentrate on getting a good education.

 

[Richard_White]

Why the heck is this even an issue. She is your step-sister for goodness sake! Siblings live together all the time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and I don’t know where you got the idea it would be the least bit bad. It’s not like you are prone to incest or something. I mean, seriously.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

How could it be sinful to live with a sibling? People who are in invalid marriages and dating couples who have to live together due to unfortunate life circumstances are told to ‘live as brother and sister’ specifically to avoid sin! That should tell you quite a bit.

 

[Annie39]

I am attending a community college right now to get my basics done. My step-sister is currently finishing up her senior year in high school and both of us are planning on attending the same 4 year university. My dad and step mom gave the two of us an idea on how we can save money during college. There is an off-campus apartment edition that is very cheap and has great features. The plan that they were introducing us to was a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom plan that was $700.00 a month and we could split the rent every month between the 4 of us. So I would get my own bedroom/bathroom and my sister would get her own bedroom/bathroom as well. We both thought that this would be a great idea. However, I just got to thinking about something. The Catholic Church teaches that it is a sin for unmarried boyfriend/girlfriend couple to live together (even if they don’t have sex) because it gives scandal or could give scandal. I was wondering if the same principle applied to a brother/sister who lived together for a few years. She is two years younger than me and I’ll probably will have graduated a year or two before she does so we’d only be sharing it for a while and during her final years in college, she would be having it to herself. I am Catholic but my dad, step mom and step sister are not. I thought that it would be okay since we’re not dating and since we’ll be in separate room and using separate bathrooms and since it would only be for a couple of years, it would be OK. Any thoughts?

I knew a couple who each had a teenager when they married. The teenagers lived as brother and sister. Even though they were introduced as brother and sister it was made clear to everyone that they were step-bro/sis. About 10 years later they married one another it has been at least 10 years since the marriage and they are still happily married. If either one or the other or both are entertaining thoughts beyond brother and sister this should be acknowledged and they should not live together.

 

[revert_jen]

When it comes to gays and lesbians I don’t really have an ick factor when it come to the sexual/physical affection stuff. But I will give a big, fat YUCK to anyone who sexualizes random chaste relationship of any kind.

(This post is not a criticism of the poster I quoted- I’m just using her “yuck” as a place to jump from.)

I hadn’t thought of it as a criticism. It’s not that I’m either proud or ashamed of feeling the ick factor, it’s just natural to me, like the fact that I can’t stand the taste of yellow mustard.

Frankly, I don’t spend any time trying to figure out whether the people around me in a restaurant are in a sexual relationship or not. I don’t think we should cater to those who do.

–Jen

 

[1ke]

The root of this question is a serious misunderstanding of what scandal is and what the Church teaches about it.

I recommend the Catechism for this. Scandal is a sin against the fifth commandment.

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P80.HTM

Living with a relative is NOT scandal.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I am attending a community college right now to get my basics done. My step-sister is currently finishing up her senior year in high school and both of us are planning on attending the same 4 year university. My dad and step mom gave the two of us an idea on how we can save money during college. There is an off-campus apartment edition that is very cheap and has great features. The plan that they were introducing us to was a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom plan that was $700.00 a month and we could split the rent every month between the 4 of us. So I would get my own bedroom/bathroom and my sister would get her own bedroom/bathroom as well. We both thought that this would be a great idea. However, I just got to thinking about something. The Catholic Church teaches that it is a sin for unmarried boyfriend/girlfriend couple to live together (even if they don’t have sex) because it gives scandal or could give scandal. I was wondering if the same principle applied to a brother/sister who lived together for a few years. She is two years younger than me and I’ll probably will have graduated a year or two before she does so we’d only be sharing it for a while and during her final years in college, she would be having it to herself. I am Catholic but my dad, step mom and step sister are not. I thought that it would be okay since we’re not dating and since we’ll be in separate room and using separate bathrooms and since it would only be for a couple of years, it would be OK. Any thoughts?

I would advise bringing this to the attention of a priest and asking him.

 

[gk1576]

It would be a shining example of purity to the world and a declaration of the power of God’s Grace to see a man and woman who are not related but living together as brother and sister in continence (even though they are at perfect liberty to marry) and it would scandalize only the most foolish and impure ones. Our Lord himself gave a lot of such scandals.

 

[EasterJoy]

The root of this question is a serious misunderstanding of what scandal is and what the Church teaches about it.

I recommend the Catechism for this. Scandal is a sin against the fifth commandment.

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P80.HTM

Living with a relative is NOT scandal.

Exactly. If the stepsiblings were adopted by their stepparents, they are relatives, and cannot contract marriage. In some cases, a couple so related (that is, siblings by virtue of adoption) could get a dispensation to marry (if not also forbidden by civil law), but probably not if they had lived in the same house as brother and sister, and especially not if they had elected to live publicly as brother and sister as adults. If these two were to live together, they ought to keep it simple, and introduce themselves as brother and sister.

 

[1ke]

It would be a shining example of purity to the world and a declaration of the power of God’s Grace to see a man and woman who are not related but living together as brother and sister in continence (even though they are at perfect liberty to marry)

a) That was not the question. The question was about an actual brother and sister living together, which of course is not a sin in any way.

b) An unmarried couple living together is indeed cause for scandal, which is a serious sin. It is not a “shining example” of anything.

and it would scandalize only the most foolish and impure ones.

It seems that perhaps you do not correctly understand the sin of scandal. I suggest the Catechism section for more detail.

Our Lord himself gave a lot of such scandals.

Scandal is a sin. Jesus, being sinless, never committed scandal. Again, I think it is very common for people to misunderstand *the sin of scandal *versus the common usage of the word “scandal”.

 

[EasterJoy]

An unmarried couple living together is indeed cause for scandal, which is a serious sin. It is not a “shining example” of anything…

I think it is very common for people to misunderstand *the sin of scandal *versus the common usage of the word “scandal”.

Also very true.

**2284 **Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. the person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

 

[crochet_lady]

I’m thinking that the Original concern was that the brother and sister – possibly step siblings, but had grown up in the same household. Both wanted to go to college and to save expenses wanted to share a house together. The concern was about what Other people might think. And it was suggested that as they were getting to know other students, neighbors, it would be obvious to introduce each other "This is my brother, sister, or step- brother, sister. And we’re both living here to save college expenses.
And in This ‘society’ - there probably Will be someone who says or thinks “Ya right”.
And IF two single people – one guy and one gal who knew each other Thought about doing That – they’d be very Foolish to do so. Find some Other way to save on expenses.
Or for two guys to want to share a house / apartment – They know what’s going on or Not going on behind ‘closed doors’ And it’s pretty Sad when ‘society’ won’t ‘allow’ for people to be simple Friends.
Also – people tend to make their own ’ reputations’ by their own actions / conversation.

 

[Ms_Manners]

Because people who don’t know us or only know us slightly might think that we’re living together as boyfriend/girlfriend since we’re not that far apart in age.

Presumably your interaction is different than that of a couple, you don’t act the same way and it shouldn’t start rumours, and anyone who meets you will know what you are to each other.

People sometimes think my husband and I are too young to be married (we look younger) so they assume we are also living together out of wedlock. We wear our wedding rings, not much else we can do.