Would it be unwise to adopt a foster child as a single man?

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Just curious what you guys think.

Also, why don’t more single catholics just adopt if they want children (especially if they aren’t dating anyone)
 
jdavani said:
Just curious what you guys think.
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I suggest you talk to a social worker who supervises foster parents. They can give you the pros and cons of foster parenting as a single person.
jdavani said:
Also, why don’t more single catholics just adopt if they want children (especially if they aren’t dating anyone)
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Those will be personal reasons unique to individuals.
 
I understand that. But right now there are foster children who are just going to and from foster homes without a real family.
 
Opening your home and heart to a child is a VERY Christian thing to do.

The Church does not prohibit single persons from adopting, does not discourage it.

Children “in the system” IS a pro-life issue. I once sat in on a talk titled “The Spirit of Adoption” using Romans chapter 8 to encourage Christians to the foster and foster-to-adopt process.

May God richly bless you on this journey.
 
jdavani said:
I understand that. But right now there are foster children who are just going to and from foster homes without a real family.
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The foster kids going ‘to and from foster homes’ are doing so because the homes don’t want to keep them long term. The kids you are thinking of are serious handfuls.

If you are currently a foster parent then why not just continue to be the best foster parent you can be. Take those kids that are hard to work with and be there for them.
 
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Foster kids are not necessarily serious handfuls. Some foster parents just treat the kids like pets – well, we’re going on a vacation to Cancun, and don’t want to take extra kids, so find him another place. Or my mother is moving in with us, so there isn’t enough room now . . .
Not all foster parents, of course. And foster kids do come with emotional baggage, they’ve after all been shunted around and some feel that there’s something wrong with them.
I started to adopt as a single woman, but ended up marrying before it went through, so we foster-adopted 2 kids. It was tough but so worth it.
If I were a single guy, I would consider fostering or adopting a teenager. They need caring and stability as much as little kids, but don’t always get it. A teenage boy, of course.
God bless you for wanting to help out.
Why don’t more Catholics adopt? Because we are afraid of what might happen? It’s risky for sure.
 
Viki63 said:
Foster kids are not necessarily serious handfuls.
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The ones with 30+ placements tend to be serious handfuls, I work with them at a temporary placement home. Because of program restrictions, they end up moving back and forth between 2-3 facilities, never getting actual homes anymore. Social workers don’t have a problem placing new entrants without such a track record.
 
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My son, who we got at 28 months, was considered “older” and “hard to place,” he had been in 4 different homes by that age. And he has been a handful, but seems to be dealing with adulthood fairly well now.
But if the OP were to adopt a teenager, he would be able to tell what kind of person they would be and how difficult it might be.
 
Agreed. I also wonder if the whole “you can adopt as a single parent” is part of the larger plan of Satan to discourage marriage.
 
I’m not dating or looking to get married anytime soon. Haven’t found anyone that I like and who likes me back
 
Do you know how to raise a child? Are you willing to give up most of your ‘me’ time as a single adult to have that child be the focus instead? Are you willing to carry that responsibility? Are you afraid that someday the right woman won’t want to adopt a child with you (after marriage)?.. have you prayed about this idea?..what is the Lord telling you amid prayer? Adoption is a beautiful thing, but are you really ready for it at this time in your life?? I think your hesitancy is possibly a red flag to wait… otherwise, why would there be a need to ask for advice on this forum. Just sayin.
 
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Understandable. But patience, acceptance where life’s at, and faithful prayers can do wonders in everything. Let God take care of this desire for you to be a foster parent by faithfully praying and waiting for His timing- because His timing is always perfect and planned-out smoothly. In my life, I’ve learned to accept and embrace the obligations I’ve got presently to sort out before I can let God unfold my deepest desires someday… everything works out when we let Him take the steering wheel before any of us walk away and do the driving on our own because we’re impatient and ready to move on. Praying for you.
 
Well, knowing how hurt those children are who have divorced parents, I would think not having two loving parents would be less than ideal. Adopting is more involved and of course, covers a lifetime as opposed to Fostering a child.
Having said that, the former pastor adopted 3 brothers from Puerto Rico as a single Deacon before he became a priest.
 
It’s not a sin. Singlehood is a valid vocation, and I think God would much rather a child in need be adopted by a loving single parent than live out their childhood and youth in a system that is rife with all kinds of abuse.
 
It’s not having one parent vs. having two parents, though. It’s having one parent vs. living in the foster system.
 
TheAmazingGrace said:
It’s not having one parent vs. having two parents, though. It’s having one parent vs. living in the foster system.
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The foster system isn’t inherently bad, it varies by location. I’d suggest one volunteered with the system before adopting, also a good way to find someone to adopt.
 
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