Would like to convert, but running into a dilemma

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Hello,
I am a United Methodist. However, I have been very interested in Catholicism for years.

I have been attending mass now for about a month. I also have been ‘auditing’ the inquiry class at my nearby parish.

Several things have led me in this direction.
  1. My dad’s side of the family is Catholic. In fact my grandmother is a devout Catholic. I remember as a child her rosary and attending mass a few times. She even taught me some prayers.
2)John Paul the II and his funeral.

3)A very dear friend of mine.
We were very good friends in high school. However last January I met up with her after a long absence. We did everything together. We exercised together. We went to the movies and art museums. We even had very frank discussions about relationships and religion.

She shared her Catholic faith with me in numerous ways. She was more that happy to discuss all things Catholic with me. I remember that she had invited me on a road trip. She needed help moving to grad school. Well we stopped at her old Catholic university (she converted there). She wanted to pray at the cathedral there. I told her that I would wait outside. However, she insisted that I go in with her.

I was truly touched by reaction to her prayer. I could see some tears in her eyes after she finished praying. That struck me deeply. After her prayers, we went to the grotto to light votive candles. Again I was struck by the beauty of the whole thing.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve 2005. My dear friend invited me to midnight mass. I went with her since she is the only catholic in her family. I felt refreshed after attending. And my friend was very happy that I went with her.

My dilema: I had numerous discussions with my friend. We both gave each other mixed signals about a relationship. However, we both agreed to keep it as a purely platonic friendship. But even after agreeing she has been giving me weird signals.

Now, I honestly have felt God’s presence. I feel that he has led me in this direction. But I am having some doubts. Mainly due to the fact that my friend said that she would only marry a Catholic.

I have done a lot of research on Catholicism and have found it to be a beautiful form of Christianity. I have even started to pray the rosary. Also, I have started to read the catechism. However, a part me feels that I am not doing this for the right reasons. Is this doubt normal?

Should I ignore the signals God has given me? I know that sounds silly. All opinions are welcome.

Joe
 
Dear Joe,

We are the same in Christ. I am a Protestant, but if you want to join Catholic, that’s fine with me. As long as you believe in Jesus and his law of Love, and follow His teaching, what can be wrong? Take care and good luck. But remember, go deeply in pray and ask to Jesus Christ about this. He will answer you.

In Jesus Love,

Neverland
 
If you do decide to convert, please make sure you are truly ready and that it is for the right reasons. Doubts would be normal in cases like this, but the only advice I can give you for sure is to keep on praying hard about this and be honest with yourself and open to God’s will. Should you have any more questions, of course, we’ll be glad to help.

P.S.: Have you talked to a priest at all yet?
 
+JMJ

I agree with exoflare. Talk to a priest about this.

But as one who is currently converting, I do encourage you to come into the fullness of Truth. I hear it’s neat in there.
 
I wouldn’t not consider joining because of your feelings toward your friend, but I would make sure that there were other things influencing me.

Since you are inspired by your friend’s faith, perhaps a good direction to go is to become inspired by other Catholics’ faiths, namely the saints. If I were you I’d look to the biographies of modern saints such as St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Maximilian Kolbe and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati.

I’d also try going to the Catholic Church just for personal times of prayer without her. In fact, I wouldn’t tell her you were going. It sounds to me that she is attracted to you and even though she won’t date a Catholic is probably noticing your interest in the faith being pulled already to thinking about you one day possible converting, in which case she would be open to you. I’d say her mixed signals comes with her struggle with “Well he may not convert and if he did he may turn out to be a great Catholic and that would be so great if he were and then…blah blah blah” but then “I can’t push him. He might not convert. He’s not Catholic yet. blah blah blah blah.”

I would also not tell her anything about converting. If you do convert, let it be an Easter surprise. That will likely drive her nuts, but I did date a guy who told me he was going to convert but changed his mind and then didn’t have the heart to tell me he had because he suspected he might lose me. It was a big mess in the end.
 
Hey Joe,
Your description sounds similar to my now Catholic, now husband’s experience. He kept being drawn to The Faith. He was a Protestant too, but always sensed something was still missing, that he didn’t have the fullness of Truth.

I had MY doubts about him when he wanted to come to Mass with me the week after our first date. I kept thinking that he was just trying to impress me or something. I finally found out how many times he was being led to The Church. He kept pushing aside all the signs until he met me. His questions about The Church were never fully answered until then.

I second (or third, or fourth) the idea to see the priest about it. We found a fabulous Deacon since some priests can seem intimidating. Search the signs and make sure they are from God, and not just satan trying to set you up for a fall with this friend. Welcome, in your journey home. Feel free to ask questions galore. We are thrilled to help!

P.S. Betcha a lot of those Rosaries said by your Grandma were for you know the Truth!
 
My first advice would be praying, praying a lot, praying in a church, in the sacramental adoration, and ask for God, light for your life, and please convert you if you want. If you know that the catholicism is true.
I will pray for you and for your conversion, and please Pray to Christ and ask him.
 
Thank you to all that have replied.

My friend now lives on the east coast. (I should have made that clear, sorry). As for me, I will be entering a volunteer program in March. My assigned country is in Asia, and is the only Catholic country in that continent. I will be there for over two years.

I don’t know if I ever will see her again. If I do, it will be years from now. However, she has made it clear that she wants to write to me while I’m away. I remember the last time I saw her I told her that it probably would be years before I see her again. She told me not to say that…

I have prayed about my situation. A part of me feels that my friends sole purpose in my life was to bring me closer to the Church. What was weird was the first Mass I went to. The homily was about people who enter your life soley to bring you back to God. When I heard that, I nearly fell out of the pew. (I also got a little teary eyed when I heard it. It was that powerful of a homily).

I honestly think that God has been giving me signs. Yeah, I grew up Methodist, but I really haven’t been to services in years. The last service I went to I thought it was quite boring.

I guess doubts are common for potential converts?

I think that this is the only doubt I have. I am convinced that the Church is right for me. I just would like to ‘do it right’.

I will still study up on catholicism. About three weeks ago I purchased the “Catholicism for Dummies” book. And the inquiry teacher let me borrow a book about conversion.
The three areas I mentioned inspired me to move in this direction.

Another reason was the UMC.org website. It was like an advertisment for the Catholic church. That website was so confusing. I compared both Catholicism and Methodisim. The website just wasnt sure of itself.
 
I haven’t told my friend directly. However, I did tell her I was ‘auditing’ the inquiry class. I told her that I was doing research on the faith. See, in my assigned country, I will be required to live with a host family. I am about 95% sure that family will be Catholic. I also told her that I purchased some books to do research.

(I am a very bookish type of person. And she knows that.)

But I am genuininely interested in the faith. I have always been interested.

I haven’t talked to a priest yet. However, the RCIA director thinks I should visit with a visiting priest who is from the country I am heading to.

I will be very honest. I do love this girl. But when it comes to converting, I feel that I should do it for God and myself, not her. I love her, but I love God more.

It’s just the last year has been a spiritual odyssey. I haven’t had this much interest in religion in my whole 27 years. It is an awesome experience. Everytime I have gone to mass (by myself) I know that I have felt God’s presence.
 
In the beginning the signs were not obvious. I would like to watch some shows on EWTN. I didn’t make much of it. However, other things happened to me. About two months ago, the signs were so strong that I felt I would be disobeying God if I ignored them any longer.

I have been talking with my Catholic coworkers. They have given me much encouragement. My one friend said that she could tell a change in my attitude since I have been going to Mass.

I haven’t told my Catholic grandmother yet. I do know that my other grandmother, a devout Methodist, would be furious with me. My mom told her that I was attending Mass out of curiousity. She didn’t tell her that I have an interest in converting.

Joe
 
Dear Joe,

May God bless your spiritual journey!

I applaud your honesty and integrity in trying to sort things out and do everything right, and for the right reason. I think this is very important.

I converted almost 12 years ago. It’s been awesome, but it’s also been painful. My two daughters were in college at the time. My husband couldn’t figure out what was going on. He’s not much of a talker, so when I tried to talk with him about it he just brushed it aside and didn’t pay much attention. In later conversations it seems he was in denial – couldn’t believe I’d do anything so irrational (his view). I felt drawn to the Catholic Church for most of my adult life, but I’d been raised anti-Catholic; so there was a war going on inside me.

The what brought things to a head for me were primarily:
the disintegration of traditional denominational beliefs within the Protestant denomination my husband and I called our “church home,”

our children were away at college, and therefore their spiritual upbringing would probably suffer less if I went a different direction,

my parents, who would have found this exceedingly difficult, were now gone

When I began my “journey” I was looking for another Protestant denomination, one that I perceived would be true to traditional Christian teachings and values and where I could feel God was present. I couldn’t find any reasonable facsimile of that. I believed in the Real Presence, but didn’t yet understand what made an ordination valid. This put me in a difficult situation. It was very hard to find a liturgical Protestant denomination that hadn’t gone soft or liberal. The steadfast denominations weren’t liturgical and didn’t believe in the Real Presence. I did A LOT of reading during this time! I read about Newman’s journey of faith, read about Church Fathers, and went to daily Mass (but not Sunday). Eventually I began to understand the need for Authority in the Church. At that point my heart was Catholic.

My recommendation is to try to be sure you are comfortable with making the decision to become Catholic. It should be done as a commitment.

I pray both your spiritual and personal concerns work out well. Your guardian angel must be quite busy, but doing a great job!

Claudine
 
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bjd2006pc:
I will be very honest. I do love this girl. But when it comes to converting, I feel that I should do it for God and myself, not her. I love her, but I love God more
Click to expand...
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Hi Joe;

I think you’ve got your head on straight based upon the above. You should not convert because you love her, but because you want to love God in the way you believe He wants to be loved. Converting for her may be done with the best of intentions, but if - down the road - you have second thoughts about the Catholic faith the decision can be a source of bitterness between you two that is not healthy to a marriage. Convert only if you think it is what God is calling you to do.

My other piece of advice is that your decision to convert may be one in which you do not feel 100% convinced at the time you decide. I think about my decision to become a parent as analogous. I knew when I got married that the idea of children was one I was going to have to be open to. But there was some fear and apprehension that went along with that decision. Parenthood required such an extreme change in my life and it was a great unknown - what does one really know about parenthood until it’s too late? Like changing religions, it took a leap of faith, Joe.

You can study and read and pray about it (and I recommend that you do) but you will come to a point where you will have to face your own fears and apprehensions. I don’t think that any amount of study will completely remove these concerns. You have to decide whether or not the reward is worth risking a leap of faith. God will guide you, but ultimately it is you that has to take the step.

BTW - I now have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a second child on the way, due in August. I can’t imagine my life without children. They complete me in such a profound way that I cannot describe it in words. Looking back, I can still remember the fear, but it is behind me now.

Best of Luck,
 
Thank you to all who responded. Claudine and Robert, thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut as well.

About a month ago I prayed to God asking him what should do. I believe he has led me in this direction. Now, I certainly don’t want to doubt God on this. Is this common to have these kind of doubts about conversion?

I know in my heart that Catholicism is right for me. I find the Mass really rewarding. And I find the intellectual challenge great as well.

I grew up Methodist. But have had some serious issues with that denomination. I have been to other denomination, but find them unsatisfying.

But, there is this lingering thought about my friend. I know her opinion matters very little on a topic as personal as faith. But, what would her reaction be if she found out that I wanted to convert?
I hope that she would be happy for me.

I will continue to pray and study.

Well,
Thank you all for your replies.
 
bj,
Yes your doubt are very common! Since you like to read I suggest you read “Surpised By Truth” by Patrick Madrid. These are stories of people who came into the Church who never dreamed they’d ever be Catholic; there are currently 3 volumes - I have only read the first one. I also suggest “Why Do Catholics Do That?” by Kevin Orlin Johnson, one of my favorite books! I’m sure someone will recommend Keating’s “Catholicism and Fundamentalism” and of course the Catechism!

I will pray for you!!
 
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bjd2006pc:
Hello,
I am a United Methodist. However, I have been very interested in Catholicism for years.

I have been attending mass now for about a month. I also have been ‘auditing’ the inquiry class at my nearby parish.

Several things have led me in this direction.
  1. My dad’s side of the family is Catholic. In fact my grandmother is a devout Catholic. I remember as a child her rosary and attending mass a few times. She even taught me some prayers.
2)John Paul the II and his funeral.

3)A very dear friend of mine.
We were very good friends in high school. However last January I met up with her after a long absence. We did everything together. We exercised together. We went to the movies and art museums. We even had very frank discussions about relationships and religion.

She shared her Catholic faith with me in numerous ways. She was more that happy to discuss all things Catholic with me. I remember that she had invited me on a road trip. She needed help moving to grad school. Well we stopped at her old Catholic university (she converted there). She wanted to pray at the cathedral there. I told her that I would wait outside. However, she insisted that I go in with her.

I was truly touched by reaction to her prayer. I could see some tears in her eyes after she finished praying. That struck me deeply. After her prayers, we went to the grotto to light votive candles. Again I was struck by the beauty of the whole thing.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve 2005. My dear friend invited me to midnight mass. I went with her since she is the only catholic in her family. I felt refreshed after attending. And my friend was very happy that I went with her.

My dilema: I had numerous discussions with my friend. We both gave each other mixed signals about a relationship. However, we both agreed to keep it as a purely platonic friendship. But even after agreeing she has been giving me weird signals.

Now, I honestly have felt God’s presence. I feel that he has led me in this direction. But I am having some doubts. Mainly due to the fact that my friend said that she would only marry a Catholic.

I have done a lot of research on Catholicism and have found it to be a beautiful form of Christianity. I have even started to pray the rosary. Also, I have started to read the catechism. However, a part me feels that I am not doing this for the right reasons. Is this doubt normal?

Should I ignore the signals God has given me? I know that sounds silly. All opinions are welcome.

Joe
Click to expand...
Hey Joe. Glad you are with us.

Now, this is going to come as a shock considering what I normally post on here, but I want you to think about this before you do it. I found the faith after about ten years of study and converted last year. Being Catholic has been a wonderful decision in my life, but you have got to come to it for the right reasons. Really, there is only one reason: You believe in your heart that it is the right path to a closer walk with Christ. Period.

Now, I can sit here all night and tell you all the reasons that Catholicism works for me, and those reasons are as countless as the stars in the sky. But, all that really matters is that it is right for you.

And, I can tell that you love your friend. I can relate, as I am in love with a Protestant girl right now. Don’t convert for the love of a girl, but for your personal love of Christ and this method of manifesting that love.

Now, personally my advice to you is to dig deep. Read a few books…Rome Sweet Rome is a good one. And pray. You can never pray enough. If you do it enough I promise that God will give you the answer you are looking for.

Being Catholic is a full time commitment. There are people out there that will hate you for this decision. They hate out of ignorance, but it is still something that we have to deal with. You have to be ready for that, and there is only one way to get ready…you have to KNOW that. Once you KNOW that God is calling you to this decision, no force in this world can drive you from it.

God Speed Joe…We will be with you every step.

Brad
 
Brad,
Thank you for your response. It’s funny that you mentioned “Rome Sweet Rome”. At the end of inquiry class, the teacher let me borrow her copy of it. I have read good things about that book.

Yeah, I agree with you about doing it right. Like I said, I do love my friend. But I really do think she came into my life only to lead me back home, so to speak. I wish it could have been more. However, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to learn about Catholicism with my friend. When the Msgr gave the homily my at my first Mass, I knew somehow God was trying to get my attention.

RCCDefender,
Thank you for your reply as well. I will look into those books. (Yes, I am an insane bookworm. I can only bring eighty pounds of stuff with me on my upcoming adventure. That will put a crimp in my book plans. Bummer).

I have been to Mass on my own now for a month. I have to say that I found the experience to be very rewarding. Although I couldn’t partake in the Eucharist, I did take that time to pray about my situation. (I was so shy and nervous for a while, that I didn’t use the kneelers to pray. Well, I snapped out of it this past Sunday and spent about six minutes praying on the kneelers–I got a little emotional when I did it, don’t quite know why either).

I have heard some of my non-Catholic friends and family tell me that the RCC is odd. Some have even said that it is a false religion. Well, I did my best to defend the Church. From what I have read both in the Bible and in other resources, Catholicism is most certainly a Christian church. It just irks me that some people would be so thickheaded.

I will be overseas in about a month and a half. Once I get settled in I plan to visit a local parish. The RCIA director at the parish I attend now says that I should try to talk with a priest one-on-one while I am over there. (I will be spending over two years in this East Asian country).

–Another thing: I have been reading a lot about Saints. Many of those stories are certainly rewarding to read. Do any of you know of Saints who converted from Protestantism to Catholicism? Just curious.

Also, last Sunday the Msgr blessed my rosary. I officially started praying with it the other night. I can see why it is such a special religious item. (I have the Glory Be and the Hail Mary down. The others will take some work). When I started to pray with it, I had a hard time concentrating on the mysteries. How do you pray the rosary?
I realize that these last two questions should go somewhere else, but…

Joe
 
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bjd2006pc:
Brad,
Thank you for your response. It’s funny that you mentioned “Rome Sweet Rome”. At the end of inquiry class, the teacher let me borrow her copy of it. I have read good things about that book.

Yeah, I agree with you about doing it right. Like I said, I do love my friend. But I really do think she came into my life only to lead me back home, so to speak. I wish it could have been more. However, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to learn about Catholicism with my friend. When the Msgr gave the homily my at my first Mass, I knew somehow God was trying to get my attention.

RCCDefender,
Thank you for your reply as well. I will look into those books. (Yes, I am an insane bookworm. I can only bring eighty pounds of stuff with me on my upcoming adventure. That will put a crimp in my book plans. Bummer).

I have been to Mass on my own now for a month. I have to say that I found the experience to be very rewarding. Although I couldn’t partake in the Eucharist, I did take that time to pray about my situation. (I was so shy and nervous for a while, that I didn’t use the kneelers to pray. Well, I snapped out of it this past Sunday and spent about six minutes praying on the kneelers–I got a little emotional when I did it, don’t quite know why either).

I have heard some of my non-Catholic friends and family tell me that the RCC is odd. Some have even said that it is a false religion. Well, I did my best to defend the Church. From what I have read both in the Bible and in other resources, Catholicism is most certainly a Christian church. It just irks me that some people would be so thickheaded.

I will be overseas in about a month and a half. Once I get settled in I plan to visit a local parish. The RCIA director at the parish I attend now says that I should try to talk with a priest one-on-one while I am over there. (I will be spending over two years in this East Asian country).

–Another thing: I have been reading a lot about Saints. Many of those stories are certainly rewarding to read. Do any of you know of Saints who converted from Protestantism to Catholicism? Just curious.

Also, last Sunday the Msgr blessed my rosary. I officially started praying with it the other night. I can see why it is such a special religious item. (I have the Glory Be and the Hail Mary down. The others will take some work). When I started to pray with it, I had a hard time concentrating on the mysteries. How do you pray the rosary?
I realize that these last two questions should go somewhere else, but…

Joe
Click to expand...
Good times man. You are going in the right direction. Just have faith and all will be find. Also, listen to those guys like my buddy RCCDefender, as they will help you defend the Chruch against the Gates of ignorance.

You hang in there!!! You will find your way. Once you start to look for truth, you will find Rome. Always. Be ready!

Brad
 
Hey there Joe.

It’s funny to hear (read) you say you are conflicted. Sometimes the truth comes out on the page a bit clearer than in your head.
You don’t seem conflicted at all to me, or at least not much. It sounds to me as if inside you know exactly where you’re heading.

The thing with the girl will work itself out—don’t worry about that. If you are meant to be together you will be together, if not…then not. That will work itself out over the next year or two.

Sounds like you are heading to the Phillipines, yeah?
Great Catholic people there. You’ll probably end up converting while there. I’ve known several priests from the Phillipines and I’ve been told that some parishes have 12-14 masses for Sat vigil/Sunday all packed and standing room only!!! One priest told us that he has to remind himself to slow things down a little in the U.S. because he doesn’t have to worry about the next 8 or 9 masses!! In your letters back home to family and friends, tell them which books you want. People love sending stuff to loved ones overseas. You would do the same for friends of yours, so don’t feel bad about asking. Heck, if you have computer access post something here and you’ll likely get a few books from all the nice people here.

As far as Saints who are converts:
How about someone who will likely be named a saint in the next couple years----Cardinal Newman. You can hardly do better than reading his stuff–wow!! He’s simply incredible to read.
Anyway, God bless you, bud. All the best to you on your journey.
 
NPS, You got me…Yes, I will be heading to the Philippines in late March. I will be a volunteer in the US PC.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I tend to agree with you about my friend. I have prayed about it several times. I have finally come to the conclusion that I will have to leave it in God’s hands…He knows what is best for both of us. If He wants us to be together, then that will be great. If he wants us to remain good friends, I will go for that as well.

I have seriously thought about coverting while over there. The inquiry teacher said that since most of the people in the Philippines are Catholic, RCIA classes may not be available. She suggested that I do one-on-one work with a priest.

In my heart, I know that the Church is my home. It is the weirdest, but most wonderful feeling.

My volunteer work will come first…However, I will spend much of my free time studying and learning the faith.

Again,
Thank you
Joe
 
Forgot NPS,

Thanks for mentioning the idea of sending books. I will keep that in mind.

Thanks a million,
Joe
 
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