Would marrying a non-catholic christian be acceptable?

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I’m still single, still a virgin, I am cradle catholic, in my 30s.
Reason why I’ve managed to preserve my purity is because I have a lot of hobbies and studying, etc.

I would like to marry at some point, however, in my area, there are more non-catholic christians (who are practising) than catholics my age. Unfortunately, at my church, there are people who are about 2 decades older than me, and very few young people.

But, there are lots of protestant church young people, actually, it is absolutely thriving on that side of Christianity. :rolleyes: Sooooo, I’m slightly ecumenical myself, and was wondering if I should find a spouse on that side (protestant) ? I would like some logical opinions about what you think about this? Problem is: I know protestants have a few issues with catholics, they think we believe in the wrong things. 🤷 I would have to explain that I am an overarching Christian.

I don’t know? what are your opinions?
 
You will get a lot of mixed responses I imagine. I am a non Catholic Christian (Presbyterian ) marrying a Catholic man next April. We manage more than fine. I have taken the time to learn his faith and he took the time to learn mine. Yes there are many issues to work out wedding/children etc- we are marrying in my church (with dispensation) but any children we have will be raised Catholic. It can work and it does work in many cases. I have know. Many mixed marriages work, and some fail. I have also seen plenty of people of the same faith have strong marriages and others not. It depends on you and the person you are with.

In terms if protestants having issues with Catholics as you put it, then that does depend on the denomination. However, if a non Catholic dates a Catholic (and vice versa) I would like to think that they both are mature enough to respect each other’s beliefs. If that respect is lacking from the start then I wouldn’t recommend dating that person.

From personal experience our only issue that we haven’t been able to resolve is the attitude of certain family members (on his side) towards the fact we are not having a Catholic wedding ceremony. Ultimately however we love each other, have done things the correct way (with dispensation etc) and this is the life we chose. We know it is not always going to be easy but like I said earlier it is up to the people in involved.

God bless you and I hope you do find the person you are looking for 🙂
 
As a Catholic who has been married for 20+ years to a Lutheran, I would say it can be done successfully, but it is not always easy. We had many disagreements in the beginning until we finally settled in and learned to tolerate each other’s beliefs.

We used to attend church together, going to both churches on Sundays, but as our children got older, we decided not to do that any more. Our children were raised Catholic.

I will say that I do think I miss out on not having my spouse to share my religious beliefs with and to attend Mass with. It is not an easy road and I would suggest trying to find a spouse who shares the same beliefs as you. Maybe there are more young people than you think at your church and they are looking for what you are seeking. Look into starting a group for young single Catholics at your church - those are great for meeting other Catholics and possible future spouses.
 
Yes, it is acceptable as long as you get a dispensation from your Bishop to marry an non-Catholic.
 
Pmqs said:
I’m still single, still a virgin, I am cradle catholic, in my 30s.
Reason why I’ve managed to preserve my purity is because I have a lot of hobbies and studying, etc.

I would like to marry at some point, however, in my area, there are more non-catholic christians (who are practising) than catholics my age. Unfortunately, at my church, there are people who are about 2 decades older than me, and very few young people.

But, there are lots of protestant church young people, actually, it is absolutely thriving on that side of Christianity. :rolleyes: Sooooo, I’m slightly ecumenical myself, and was wondering if I should find a spouse on that side (protestant) ? I would like some logical opinions about what you think about this? Problem is: I know protestants have a few issues with catholics, they think we believe in the wrong things. 🤷 I would have to explain that I am an overarching Christian.

I don’t know? what are your opinions?
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Dearheart-

A word of advice from an old lady…don’t do it.

Marriage is full of many challenges, and raising children in your faith will be one of them. Imagine how much harder it will be when mommy and daddy are saying different things or, heaven forbid, openly disagreeing about their beliefs.

Your Father in heaven knows what you need even before you ask Him. Trust Him because He has known you (and your future spouse) since before you were born.

God bless.

Mrs. B.
 
Pmqs said:
I’m still single, still a virgin, I am cradle catholic, in my 30s.
Reason why I’ve managed to preserve my purity is because I have a lot of hobbies and studying, etc.

I would like to marry at some point, however, in my area, there are more non-catholic christians (who are practising) than catholics my age. Unfortunately, at my church, there are people who are about 2 decades older than me, and very few young people.

But, there are lots of protestant church young people, actually, it is absolutely thriving on that side of Christianity. :rolleyes: Sooooo, I’m slightly ecumenical myself, and was wondering if I should find a spouse on that side (protestant) ? I would like some logical opinions about what you think about this? Problem is: I know protestants have a few issues with catholics, they think we believe in the wrong things. 🤷 I would have to explain that I am an overarching Christian.

I don’t know? what are your opinions?
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There’s nothing in canon that obligates you to marry a Catholic.

HOWEVER, in cases like these, I will say it comes down to two kinds of Catholics.

Some Catholics are sound in their faith and end up converting their spouse after a time.

Other Catholics are probably well-intentioned but it ends up their non-Catholic spouse/opposite-sex partner influences them.

This is big because you have an obligation to raise your kids Catholic, and I frown on the notion of you having to prepare them for the faith all by yourself, have a competing religious interest in the house, and/or have to expend energy you probably won’t have on the weekend dragging people whining, kicking and screaming to Church and they only go because they feel guilty, in which case arguments can be made about whether or not they should take Communion.

My concern here is that you are seemingly ready to throw in the towel on Catholic men and date someone closer which is more practical in principle, but trust me, it’s meaningless and a sad life if you settle or if you are with someone who you are not compatible with.

Now, I think it;s good you’re not on the internet looking for someone continents away, but I would encourage you to look into a Catholic dating site where you can see someone within a reasonable distance.

I was in a situation similar to yours with not many good, single Catholics in the area, and I did date outside the faith, but it was a disaster each time.
 
Pmqs said:
I’m still single, still a virgin, I am cradle catholic, in my 30s.
Reason why I’ve managed to preserve my purity is because I have a lot of hobbies and studying, etc.

I would like to marry at some point, however, in my area, there are more non-catholic christians (who are practising) than catholics my age. Unfortunately, at my church, there are people who are about 2 decades older than me, and very few young people.

But, there are lots of protestant church young people, actually, it is absolutely thriving on that side of Christianity. :rolleyes: Sooooo, I’m slightly ecumenical myself, and was wondering if I should find a spouse on that side (protestant) ? I would like some logical opinions about what you think about this? Problem is: I know protestants have a few issues with catholics, they think we believe in the wrong things. 🤷 I would have to explain that I am an overarching Christian.

I don’t know? what are your opinions?
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If you found a Protestant respectful of your views, willing to get married in the Catholic Church, willing to not use artificial birth control, and willing to raise your kids catholic then go for it!

Otherwise. Run. You will be in for a tremendous amount of conflict.
 
I’ve heard this concern about there simply not being enough practicing Catholics available, today.

Well, if one dates, and eventually marries, a non-Catholic, here are some of the following potential concerns.

In order to be married in the Church, one would need to have the spouse agree to raise any children from the marriage, Catholic.

The other issues that often come are that the Catholic spouse would not want to ever use birth control. At a future point, you might decide to use Natural Family planning. This requires that BOTH abstain from intimacy during the fertile period.

Not all non-Catholics are able to understand this, hence resist.

Also, Catholics are often much more open to life.

Now, if you are a practicing Catholic, you’d want to go to a Catholic Church on Sundays, holy days of obligation.

In the ideal, your children would accompany you. If your spouse is non-Catholic, couldn’t be expected to attend.

So, what happens when children might, one day, not want to go and point out that about the spouse’s not going.

Many Protestant, and other faiths, are very anti-Catholic. This might not come out fully till after marriage. Then, it would possibly manifest in questioning our veneration to the Blessed Virgin Mary, why we feel the need to confess to a priest, why we have religious statues, pray the rosary, have crucifixes, etc.

It depends on the denomination. Some Protestant faiths will also reject health treatments, instead of going to a doctor, go to a pastor. Some reject blood transfusions. It really depends on the faith.

Some others have dietary differences, not eat pork, shellfish, etc.

I just think it’d be harder to pray together with someone of a different faith, and you’d be discouraged from attending non-Catholic churches.

So, in the best scenario, you and your children would go to church, and your spouse would go to a different church. Already, do you see how you are split on the most important issues, that of faith?

It’s workable, but many in this situation later regret that, considering themselves to be “unevenly yoked”.
 
BLP said:
Why in the world would you want to settle for less?!
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The idea that a non-Catholic Christian is somehow “less” a person or a marriage partner is highly offensive, particularly to those of us who have married one – and some of whom may have actually converted based on the life and witness of their spouse.
 
As someone who has been married to a non-Catholic for 41 years I would like to say something to you that I hope you will take to heart. Finding the right mate, someone that God has chosen for you, may take years of patience, prayer and refined hearing to know when God is telling you that this is the one. In a perfect world you will find a spouse who shares your faith and supports your beliefs. But, if God has chosen a non-Catholic for your spouse then you will find a way to go forward. I raised our children Catholic but my husband did not stand in my way. They are now raising their children Catholic. I go to Mass alone and I pray for my husbands’ conversion, I have been waiting a long time but I have been happily married…most of the time:D. Keep your options open, pray constantly and be open to whatever God sends your way. I will pray for you. May I also suggest you check out this website, PrayMoreNovenas.com. John-Paul and his wife Annie met after Annie had prayed novenas to St. Anne for years. They now run this wonderful site together. Read their story, it will give you hope and direction,
 
Catholic here, married to a member of the United Church of Canada for the past 38 years. We married at a time when my husband had to promise all children would be raised Catholic. That’s no longer required. Yes, the Catholic must promise to do all in his/her power to see that children are baptized Catholic and raised in the faith but the non-Catholic is not required to agree or promise anything. He/she is only informed of the Catholic’s promise and it’s implications.

My husband has supported me in making sure the children were raised in the Faith, even going so far as learning the Hail Mary in French so that he could help the children with their prayers if I was’t there. He attended Mass with me to help with the children when ministries required me to be out of the pew during Mass. At one point he even joined our parish choir.

Granted he wasn’t heavily involved in his own Church so that may have been the reason he was so accommodating of mine. I’m still hoping he’ll convert, but I’m not holding my breath.
 
Tarpeian_Rock said:
The idea that a non-Catholic Christian is somehow “less” a person or a marriage partner is highly offensive, particularly to those of us who have married one – and some of whom may have actually converted based on the life and witness of their spouse.
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They are not less, but I think it could be unfair going into marriage with the expectation a spouse will change, convert.

I just think it’s easier to start on the same page, spiritually, but that’s just my opinion. Anyone can have their own experiences, but because one had a spouse convert doesn’t mean all will. We have to assume the spouse won’t and being able to work from there.
 
You can, but you should not expect it to be easy. Unless the other person is very accepting of Catholic beliefs and doesn’t mind you raising your children Catholic, it’d be hard. Moreover, most children would be confused if Mommy goes to Church on Sunday, but Daddy stays home and if Mommy receives but Daddy doesn’t (even worse, if Daddy does!:eek: ) On the one hand, it allows earlier teaching of the nuances of Catholicism, on the other hand, it risks confusing your children and enables them to turn more easily away from the Church and towards whatever beliefs your husband has. It’s a bit of a gamble, but it isn’t forbidden providing you have a bishop’s dispensation.
 
I will say that I do think I miss out on not having my spouse to share my religious beliefs with and to attend Mass with. It is not an easy road and I would suggest trying to find a spouse who shares the same beliefs as you.

This has been the most difficult for me also. Not being able to share my faith…

(PS Go Pius X)
 
I would say don’t worry about it, marry someone for who they are, not just one aspect of themselves.

Conversion may or may not come in time, but this should not be the central focus of entering a marriage. I’d say it’s better to just see how it goes 😉
 
It’s acceptable, yes. Is it recommended? No.

Also, a couple would be expected to attend precana Catholic marriage preparation.

What denomination?
 
Mary_Ellen said:
Yes, it is acceptable as long as you get a dispensation from your Bishop to marry an non-Catholic.
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I’m not sure that is true. I think you may have meant to say a non-Christian. Marrying a non-Catholic Christian is fine and its a valid marriage without dispensation from a Bishop as long as it is in the Church. 👍
 
I have a question on this issue, I was a light catholic, very bad i will say, when my fist daughter born, I don’t even bother to baptize her, later iI divorce from a civil married, my present wife , took my daughter to a christian church, I never tough anything about that, i was not the best catholic at the time, now they liked and I get married wit her, I’m going trough a "conversion’ i admit my mistake and I paying for the consequences, so i agree that my daughter keep growing on her church, they don’t go with my to the mass, sometime that frustrate me, if I agree with that, i;m doing wrong, i was suppose to obligate my 11 year old to go with me?
 
If you are truly being called to marriage as a vocation, you are going to have to date people you haven’t considered before. And it’s only going to get harder to find people the longer you wait. Honestly, even if you don’t want to marry a non-Catholic, you should go on at least one date with one and then really pray about it.

Prayer is weird. I remember when I first met my fiance, I prayed for hours for a week, trying to decide if I should bother dating him. Something about him just felt significant. It was truly bizarre when I finally felt him say to go for it. I never doubted that decision again. I can’t wait to be married to him.

So you need to trust your feelings and really feel God out too. See if you like any of them, give them an honest chance, and then pray really hard. I strongly suggest dating websites. Try a bunch of them to see which you like the most. They really are becoming more mainstream. But You should also find some Christian activity that lets you have community with religious minded people. Community is supposed to be a perk of belonging to a church, but I get what you mean when you say no one there is the same age. It’s not ideal to go outside your church to find this community, but you need to share your faith with someone, right? Maybe when you join enough websites you will find a Catholic one. 👍
 
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