The purgation we must all experience in order to see God face to face after death can be done in this life,
It is too bad other Christians don’t know about this (Protestants, uninformed Catholics…) because knowing i can offer up my sufferings to atone for past sins, and also to help in the conversion of others gives meaning to suffering… so it isn’t wasted & we don’t have to feel abandoned by God. When there is too much suffeirng & it seems meaningless… it can be very discouraging… to the point of wanting to die. that is why i try to pray always 4 those who don’t know the Catholic way &/or those who are so depressed they don’t want to go on. I used to be one of them…
The self-knowledge you are given in prayer is something that the Holy Spirit commonly gives souls as a necessary part of this purgation.
Some times it is hard, while @ the Blessed S, to sort out what is a feeling/thought from God &/or what is… well, from elsewhere. When i am there, i feel i am fighting the devil… No, actually, i feel that i am letting Jesus fight him for me
What you are experiencing is a sign of spiritual health!
Yes, i have felt that to be true… & the more i sit quietly with Him, the more healthy i feel (if i can let the distractions of this life subside… which, admittedly, isn’t as easy as it may sound

). One thing i always realize when there is how HUMAN i am (and everyone else… which is good because then i am less inclined to “judge” people… when i see how weak and needy and helpless i am without Christ

)…
Thank you for the reading suggestions. I don’t live anywhere near a good Catholic books store… Maybe i can find them (used/cheaper??) on the internet… ?
right in saying your Purgatory time is being reduced by your experience in prayer. It can even be completely eliminated if we are truly generous in this life.
Actually, i don’t usually “pray” there, as in speaking to Jesus (although when i do, it is, of course, VERY powerful)… A lot of the time, i just sit there & let “whatever” happen… i feel It is, however, best to do both… The first 1/2 hour is usually what feels like a “debriefing”… No, that’s not the word… a “de-programming” is more like it… getting my worldly concerns out of the way… Again, not as easy as it sounds…
