Would this affect my childs Baptism

[melja]

Not really sure how to put this but what difference will it make to my child when I have him Baptised whilst I am not married?. I live with his Dad- who is also Catholic but has unfortunately lost his faith after a traumatic event. I want my child to be brought up Catholic and attend church regularly with me. Would my not being married reflect negatively on the Chuch accepting my child into the Catholic Faith. Sorry it seems a bit garbled but I am finding it difficult to put it clearly

 

[LirMengRen]

No it wouldn’t, definitely don’t worry. It was the same with my baptism and of several people I know.

 

[Seatuck]

Not really sure how to put this but what difference will it make to my child when I have him Baptised whilst I am not married?. I live with his Dad- who is also Catholic but has unfortunately lost his faith after a traumatic event. I want my child to be brought up Catholic and attend church regularly with me. Would my not being married reflect negatively on the Chuch accepting my child into the Catholic Faith. Sorry it seems a bit garbled but I am finding it difficult to put it clearly

It might or it might not . It depends upon how they view things at your Parish. There must be a hope that that the child will be raised Catholic in order for the church to baptize him under Canon Law. Your living condition isn’t good evidence for this. Your example of a sinful lifestyle is problematic. On the other hand you say you want to bring up your child Catholic so perhaps you are ready to make the changes you need to make. Raising a child Catholic means bringing your child to all the Sacraments but obviously you are unable to go to Communion or Confession unless you change your living arrangement. See what I mean? What is the evidence your child will see? What if he says “mom, why don’t you go to communion?” What will you say?Church says this but I do this instead? Now , your sin( I am of course assuming sexual sin at least since you live with a man you are not married to and have a child. Please forgive me if you have already gone to confession and made arrangements to not continue with that behavior) will not affect the baptism. He will still receive the Sacrament and the grace.

Or you might get lucky and they won’t ask or have a problem with it. Only way to find out is to go to the church.

The Good thing is that the Holy Spirit is prompting you with these questions. He’s good like that. I remember really growing a lot in moral understanding and so forth because of needing to be a good example to my children and be able to teach them the faith. I went to confession when my oldest child was making his first confession . It had been many years and it was hard. This is an opportunity for you to grow. Many of us have had these growing pains. Best thing is that Jesus foresaw all this and he died on the cross and started a church for us to give us these opportunities.

Perhaps you can take some time this lent to participate in some of the parish traditions of the stations of the cross or rosary etc. Definitely spend some time if you can in front of the Blessed Sacrament whether in the tabernacle or exposed and ask our Lord to lead you to do the right things.

Praying for you .

 

[FrDavid96]

Not really sure how to put this but what difference will it make to my child when I have him Baptised whilst I am not married?. I live with his Dad- who is also Catholic but has unfortunately lost his faith after a traumatic event. I want my child to be brought up Catholic and attend church regularly with me. Would my not being married reflect negatively on the Chuch accepting my child into the Catholic Faith. Sorry it seems a bit garbled but I am finding it difficult to put it clearly

melja,

The fact that the parents are not married does not make the child ineligible for Baptism. The only requirements for an infant baptism is that the parents consent to it and that the pastor has a “founded hope” that the child will be raised in the faith. As long as that “founded hope” is there, your son can indeed be baptized.

The rest of what you shared in your post is something which you need to discuss with your pastor, and it is very important (so don’t misunderstand me, it’s not something to be dismissed) but in-and-of-itself it would not prevent the baptism.

 

[melja]

Thank you for your replies, I am pleased- no relieved that my son will not be refused because of my sin.

my partner lost his faith when his daughter (he wasnt married to her mother) sadly died. His relationship had ended before I met him,she was apparently unfaithful to him. Anyway we hadn’t been together very long before his daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumour, we obviously focussed on her and neglected ourselves, in that we never got married - it just didn’t seem important to us at the time, possibly because I was a lapsed catholic at the time. I have 2 other children (to the same man) and had them baptized but have always worried that they would suffer because of what I had done (i.e had them out of wedlock). Only my eldest son was born when his sister died. It affected us all badly, particularly my partner who is now very bitter against God and continually states he does not believe (he must still believe something otherwise he wouldn’t be bitter!).

I have insisted that all my children are baptised Catholic and he has never stopped this or indeed said he didn’t want it to happen.

I only started going back to church late last year when my eldest child said he wanted to do his First Holy Communion so I restarted in order to support him. I also started to do an Evangelium Course but have not got to the Marriage part yet - so have not thought to discuss it with my priest (although he is aware that I am not married). Why now? well I got a form off him to have my youngest child baptised and on it it says - where and when parents were married. This has really pricked my consience and has made me think very hard about the way I live now. My partner does not want to get married because most people he knows have got divorced or have committed adultery and he believes that if we did then it would sign the end of our relationship - he said this a while ago and I have never thought about it until now. My returning to church, my eldests Holy Communion and my youngests Baptism have for some reason brought this to the fore… I have been honest with my eldest when he has asked me why I don’t go up for communion and he understands this, that it is me who is committing the sin and not him, and that God does not blame him for it and is very happy that he has chosen to follow him by making his Holy Communion.

It’s just reassuring to know that my children will still be welcomed and for my part I will be supporting them.