Would this be a mortal sin?

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blue_skies_1

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Hi everyone,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I need a quick answer to a question which might sound silly but it’s got me worried!

Obviously it’s Lent at the moment and so we don’t eat meat on Fridays, which is fine.

I’m at home with my parents at the moment though so I have to eat the meals my mum makes (not usually a problem! :D), but it seems tomorrow she is making a spaghetti bolognese, which obviously has beef. My family aren’t Catholic and I don’t like to make an unnecessary fuss over things or they’d be thinking being Catholic is just about following silly rule about what to eat etc:rolleyes:. I did mention to my mum about it being Friday and asked if we could have fish or something and do the bolognese another day but she wasn’t happy about that as my sister’s boyfriend is coming round and he doesnt’ like fish.

Anyway I’m just wondering if it would be really bad for me to join in the with the bolognese for the sake of keeping the peace? I don’t like to turn my nose up at my mother’s cooking and she’s not doing it to get at me or anything. Would it be a mortal sin? I really don’t want to eat meat tomorrow so it’s not like I’m doing it to be disrespectful, it’s just that I have to fit round my family sometimes.

What do you think?
 
If it were me and it meant keeping the peace, I would eat the spaghetti. And that would indeed be hard to do as I am Vegan.

Kathy
 
Could you ask her to prepare some spaghetti for you without any sauce? You could either buy a jar of meatless spaghetti sauce to use or eat it with some butter or the like.

Or skip the spaghetti and eat salad and bread. It won’t kill you.

Isn’t it interesting that your mother is willing to accommodate your sister’s boyfriend – he doesn’t like fish so she won’t serve it – but isn’t willing to accommodate you.

Now is the time to show that you’re mature in your faith and will practice it in spite of a small obstacle from your mother.
 
Thanks for the replies… any info on whether this would be seriously sinful though? Is it generally considered a mortal sin?
 
blue_skies said:
Thanks for the replies… any info on whether this would be seriously sinful though? Is it generally considered a mortal sin?
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For a sin to be mortal it must be grave matter and you must do it with full knowledge and consent.

Grave matter? It’s a discipline of the Church.

Full knowledge? Since you’re asking here you know what the teaching is.

Full consent? If you decide to go ahead then you’re giving your consent.

You’re also showing your non-Catholic family that practicing your faith is something that can be set aside if it’s inconvenient.
 
Don’t make a big deal out of it.

Sketti usually means salad, bread and the pasta with sauce.

Eat a big salad and brag about the bread.

Have pasta, add a bit of butter or olive oil, salt and pepper and maybe some grated parm, just, leave off the sauce.

If she serves a veg, have an extra helping of it, too.

Modify your plate instead of the family meal.
 
If it was me… I would put God before anything else. If that means going against your family’s wishes then so be it.

Personally, I enjoy these opportunities to evangelize. It’s a way to preach the Gospel without using words, which I find much easier. You don’t have to ask her to cook something different. All you have to do is eat the food that doesn’t have meat in it. Or if the meat can be avoided pick out the meat. And if there is no food that doesn’t have meat than ask if you can make yourself something that doesn’t have meat. This is a way to show how important your Faith is to you.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Christian (non-Catholic) weekend in the mountains (fyi… I only went out of respect for my girlfriend who is Baptist). And, of course they had meat on friday. I put everything that did not have meat on my plate. Which ended up being a plate full of brocoli and potatoes. :rolleyes: But many people were shocked by this, as they probably didn’t expect to see a Catholic, especially one that would hold true to their beliefs in the mist of so many protestants. But I feel this made a statement (and I didn’t have to say a word) even though this probably didn’t resonate with many of them.
 
I wouldn’t eat the meat either. Even if you consider her your “hostess” that you don’t want to offend, she already knows you cannot eat meat and is going to serve it anyways, which is different to a hostess going through a lot of trouble without knowing you couldn’t eat it (and you unable to warn her), only to be surprised at the dinner table when she serves you a meat only dish. Eating it to me seems like you are saying, well I have my set of beliefs but I will set them aside when they are inconvenient for you. Another big thing that worries me is that you might be setting a precedent too, if you are willing to do it now, they may expect it in the future with other things. Since you mentioned she is not doing this to get you, its just because the bf doesn’t like fish, maybe you could try to I would try to maybe try to set aside some sauce without meat, or if that is an inconvenience for her, just do whatever you can to discreetly eat whatever is available without the meat, trying to participate in the meal without causing an ordeal. I wonder if the boyfriend who doesn’t like fish would have been willing to set aside his tastes to appease your mother?
 
As your priest. I believe he can grant you a dispensation if he feels it is warranted.
 
I’m assuming your mother wouldn’t stop you with a flying tackle if you prepared your own plate with some plain pasta, salad and bread. That’s what I would do. I wouldn’t ask the family meal be modified, but I would seek my own food.

If she is that kind of hostess, the kind that insists on serving you whatever everybody else is having no matter what, you can ask for a small, very small portion of the spaghetti with meat sauce, and just leave it on your plate. While you eat the other things.

Or, if you simply feel that not eating it would cause a family tiff, you can perform some other penance that day, perhaps fasting from lunch or breakfast, or attending Mass. Something like that.
 
Eat the plain pasta, bro. God will smile down on you even if your whole family gives you grief about it. In your heart, you will feel peace. It’s an important sacrifice. Sometimes the Lord calls us out of our comfort zone. Offer it up to Him.
 
Easy. Buy yourself a little jar of marinara sauce. Take it over to mom’s. While she’s heaping spaghetti noodles on the plates, quietly grab yours. Give your mom a shoulder hug and a kiss on the head while you’re doing it. Pour sauce in a bowl, nuke it for a minute and pour it over your spaghetti. There. Join everyone at the table with the bread and salad. You don’t look too out of place. No one who isn’t in the kitchen has to know. And to keep mom happy, make sure you request to take home some bolognese sauce and spaghetti leftovers for Saturday’s dinner. Tell her you love her cooking and wish it wasn’t Friday, give her a kiss and just keep it quiet. No one will be paying that much attention unless you draw attention to it.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Easy. Buy yourself a little jar of marinara sauce. Take it over to mom’s. While she’s heaping spaghetti noodles on the plates, quietly grab yours. Give your mom a shoulder hug and a kiss on the head while you’re doing it. Pour sauce in a bowl, nuke it for a minute and pour it over your spaghetti. There. Join everyone at the table with the bread and salad. You don’t look too out of place. No one who isn’t in the kitchen has to know. And to keep mom happy, make sure you request to take home some bolognese sauce and spaghetti leftovers for Saturday’s dinner. Tell her you love her cooking and wish it wasn’t Friday, give her a kiss and just keep it quiet. No one will be paying that much attention unless you draw attention to it.
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Thanks! I think this is what I will do. I had a quiet word with my mum and she’s fine with me not having the bolognese sauce this time; she might think it’s a little silly but she’s generally respectful of my faith. I just didn’t want to be ‘making a fuss’ but I don’t think I am… I feel good about not just taking the easy route on this one.

Thank you for all the responses.
 
No meat on Friday is not a law, but a discipline and changes over the years. Talk to your priest and they would properly just tell you to abstain from something else that day.
 
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