Would this be considered scandal?

[Gerard_Nadal]

Hi pianoplayingmom,

Too late about the 40 lashes. I went ahead without you. Your subsequent posts cleared up quite a bit!! See, I told you that if you befriended him you’d get invited to the wedding!!!:blushing:

Nevertheless, my comments in my initial post apply to priest #1 and any scandal mongers in the pews.

This fellow sounds like a terrific guy. I’m sure he’ll get going on the annulment process when he’s ready emotionally. For those who are conscientious it can take a toll.

You’re both in my prayers. God Bless.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Yes, Gerard, he is a terrific guy. I have not pushed him to get his annulment paper work in because I know how emotionally challenging it can be, having been through it myself. Truly, his annulment is not about me anyway. It seems to me that, if it is done correctly, one must spend considerable time looking inward and facing the truth about oneself in the previous marriage. I went into my annulment process, angry (as I had been for years) at my husband, blaming him for all that ailed our marriage. (We’d been married almost 30 years…that’s a lot of years to be angry.) Working through the annulment process, I realized that it was I, too, (and probably mostly) who had been the cause of our marriage not being sacramental. When I figured this out, I called him up and begged his forgiveness. It was a turning point in our relationship. All anger and fighting ceased immediately. Today, 3 years later, we are very good friends. We celebrate our children’s and grandchildren’s birthdays together. (This year, I even baked HIM a birthday cake and loved doing it!) We help one another in whatever ways we can. Our children are very grateful for the peacefulness between us. Oh-oh…did I just segue out of the topic of my original posting?

 

[Rose71]

that is really lovely! It is absolutley wonderful to hear about people who have managed to look into their hearts, acknowledge past wrongs and forgive. As someone who has recently met a man who has been married before (I have no idea where it will lead as we are definitely just friends right now and still getting to know one another, but he is one of the kindest, most genuinely good people I have met in ages) you have no idea how reading your post and some of the others in this thread has given me hope that there are good people out there who are not judgemental.

I pray that you will one day enjoy a wedding day that is the most amazing day of your lives:thumbsup:

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Thank you, Rose. I have never before known a love such as this. It is pure; it is joyful; it is, well, true love. We only want for the other what is best and what will help the other get to heaven. If that means God is NOT calling us to marriage to one another, so be it. Following God’s will is the most important thing about which we pray. Still, at times, my heart yearns for future marital bliss with him. However, I try very hard not to go there in my thinking. If I truly trust God and know that He is ONLY good, I will not be concerned about tomorrow. And, thank you, dear ones, for praying for us. That warms my heart, more than you know.

 

[Gerard_Nadal]

It’s okay, Gerard. You may come out of the woodshed now. I promise there will be no 40 lashes for you. For everyone else, you may be interested to know that this man and I have declared our love for one another and hope one day that our friendship will be allowed to come to fruition within a marriage context. We have promised each other that we will help one another get to heaven.

Pianoplayingmom,

As I contemplate the steady increase in revelations from your first post, I return to that post and ask, “Why so cryptic?” “Why did she not tell us the full context of her relationship to and with this man as she asked about his receiving communion with another woman?”

It seems to me that your initial post was a veiled attempt to sound out the community about how morally licit YOUR relationship with him is and whether THAT is an occasion of scandal/sin.

Having a full blown love relationship where you have all but become officially engaged to a man who is another woman’s husband is a far cry from simply sitting together at Mass and receiving the Eucharist together. The woman at the communion rail may not literally be you. She definitely is the symbolic embodiment of your relationship with him.

I believe that you have answered your own question. I wish you both bliss after the annulment

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Pianoplayingmom,

As I contemplate the steady increase in revelations from your first post, I return to that post and ask, “Why so cryptic?” “Why did she not tell us the full context of her relationship to and with this man as she asked about his receiving communion with another woman?”

It seems to me that your initial post was a veiled attempt to sound out the community about how morally licit YOUR relationship with him is and whether THAT is an occasion of scandal/sin.

Having a full blown love relationship where you have all but become officially engaged to a man who is another woman’s husband is a far cry from simply sitting together at Mass and receiving the Eucharist together. The woman at the communion rail may not literally be you. She definitely is the symbolic embodiment of your relationship with him.

I believe that you have answered your own question. I wish you both bliss after the annulment

Gerard, you are way off base here. You are speculating about my motives and your speculation is in error. I certainly do not need this cyberspace community’s approval to live my life. I enjoy a wonderful friendship with this man. Period. We are being obedient to the Church. Both of us have gone several times to our confessors over whether we are doing anything wrong. All have said we are not…and, in fact, ALL (even the one priest) have encouraged our friendship. Your third paragraph troubles me greatly. If I have given that impression, I will need to confess it because he is married and we are in NO position to be thinking about getting engaged. I apologize if I have given that impression…Now, I regret having posted here. I feel as though I have sullied our beautiful, loving relationship in doing so. That is very sad to me. I wanted to teach others what pure, chaste love is like. Obviously, I missed the mark. So, I will be more careful in the future what I divulge here on these forums.