Would this be cooperating with sin?

Status
Not open for further replies.
L

LaughingBoy1503

Well-known member
Here is the situation. I have 2 friends. A man and a woman and they are in a relationship with each other. They live together but are not married and have 2 young kids together. Neither are practicing Catholics. They just found a new apartment together. I am hoping they do not ask me to help them move because I am not quite sure that if I did, I would be sinning myself considering I know it is a sin to cohabitate. I have already been asked to help them with the move in a minor way but I said I did not think I could. They will most likely ask me to help with the move itself. I don’t know if either of them even know it is a sin to live that way without being married but at the same time, what person has not at least head that pre-marital relations is a sin? I think most people do, but just don’t care.

I am not going to preach to them about how co-habitation is wrong and all that, I am more than sure no matter what I would say, in any way shape or form, would not change their minds about anything. I really want no part of it all because I think I could be sinning if I did help and I scrupulous enough as it is without having that on my mind. Also of-course, I don’t want to offend God. Would it be right if I just told them “Sorry, cant help you” if they ask me to help but give no explanation why. Also, what if they move in by themselves but ask me if I can help with the big stuff only (I have a truck) after the fact that they have already moved in?
 
You don’t have to do something you’re uncomfortable with. If your friends know you’re Catholic and know your beliefs, then they should understand how you feel. If they don’t know, then you should tell them. It’s not like they couldn’t find anyone else to help them move. Unless it’s your mom or sister, it shouldn’t be too hard to say, “I can’t do it.” If they end the friendship over something that miniscule consider it a blessing.
 
Carina is right you don’t have to do anything your uncomfortable with, and I agree certainly don’t try to preach at them. At the same time who says we can’t help anyone. The people who motivated me to change, were people who showed me by their example what it’s like to have the joy and peace that comes from God as the center of your life. You could be around them, pray for them, don’t judge them, and ask God to use you to draw them closer to Him. Show them nothing, but kindness and they’ll start to wonder what makes you how you are, and they’ll be drawn to that.

**As long as you are not being drawn into sin.
 
linamarie17 said:
Carina is right you don’t have to do anything your uncomfortable with, and I agree certainly don’t try to preach at them. At the same time who says we can’t help anyone. The people who motivated me to change, were people who showed me by their example what it’s like to have the joy and peace that comes from God as the center of your life. You could be around them, pray for them, don’t judge them, and ask God to use you to draw them closer to Him. Show them nothing, but kindness and they’ll start to wonder what makes you how you are, and they’ll be drawn to that.

**As long as you are not being drawn into sin.
Click to expand...
One of them is my best friend of quite a good number of years. I am not judging. I lived a very sinful life before I converted. I am no Holy roller. I just want to do the right thing is all, not try to change anyone.I do feel I need to distance myself at this time. I am still a baby In the faith, newly baptized. I just want to avoid sin myself. If others notice this… so be it.

I hate to say this… I love them, but I have seen them both really take advantage of people who show them “nothing but kindness” that further makes me want to keep my distance… but that is off the topic
 
As they have already been living together for some years apparently, I doubt it would be a sin to help them move furniture. You are not required to help anyone move anything if you don’t want to.

The best thing you can do for them and their children is to set a Christian example. The problem is not their cohabitation, it is their lack of a relationship with God. Without that, they will not see cohabitation as wrong. The responsibility of raising young children often helps those without faith see the value of Church and faith.
 
A sin could be if you turned you back on them. Christ embraced sinners, without condoning their sin, he did not reject them. Is person who is not Catholic (or non practising which for me is the same thing) bound by Catholic rules and beliefs? Then we would open a can or worms saying that Moslems and others should follow Catholic morality and laws.
 
Great big shortcut to this game, one I recently learned harshly. If your friend of a long time, chooses to live in damnation, and you remain on the scene, in their mire, and continue to remain on the scene, then you are endorsing it if you are not bringing up to them, they need to get married immediately.

It’s like being the best friend to a drug addict, and telling them it’s ok to keep using even though it’s killing them. This is just the same, they are killing their souls…

I’d flat out say, not going to help “unless” they set a date and place to marry, and use this as an opportunity to get them to do what is right.

Keep in mind, a person is judged by the company they keep, and the company you keep is a reflection of yourself. Jesus surely visited “sinners”, but he didn’t endorse their sinful lifestyle, he unlike the priests and church authorities of the time, embraced them and welcomed them into the church, knowing full well of their conversions will follow soon after.

If you continue to remain close to these people, and they continue to live in sin, then you will have to either continue to compromise your faith, or choose to be loyal to God’s mandates and relationship, keeping your distance in physical being while continuing to pray for them.

Some times it’s best to take a step back, pray, and leave it in God’s hands, for you have better things to further his kingdom, and your salvation then watering rocks…
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
One of them is my best friend of quite a good number of years. I am not judging. I lived a very sinful life before I converted. I am no Holy roller. I just want to do the right thing is all, not try to change anyone.I do feel I need to distance myself at this time. I am still a baby In the faith, newly baptized. I just want to avoid sin myself. If others notice this… so be it.

I hate to say this… I love them, but I have seen them both really take advantage of people who show them “nothing but kindness” that further makes me want to keep my distance… but that is off the topic
Click to expand...
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean that it sounded like you were judging them. I see what you’re saying. Sounds like you know exactly what to do. As your best friend and signifigant other, hopefully they we’ll respect where you’re coming from. I understand it’s a tough position to be in. Sounds like you have a lot of integrity to want to respectfully stand up for what you believe.
 
eamonnroma said:
A sin could be if you turned you back on them. Christ embraced sinners, without condoning their sin, he did not reject them. Is person who is not Catholic (or non practising which for me is the same thing) bound by Catholic rules and beliefs? Then we would open a can or worms saying that Moslems and others should follow Catholic morality and laws.
Click to expand...
👍 I also believe we’re judged on what is in our hearts and what we know at the time. Different people learn things at different points in there lives. Would it be a mortal sin for a young man who’s parents never married but stayed together his whole life, never went to Church to then fall in love, live with a woman, have kids, and do the same thing? Course it is common law marriage. However, if they become an active Christian family and have no desire to become married in the eyes of God, that’s seems like it would certainly be mortal sin. Man it’s just the breakdown of the family system in America thanks to the stupid sexual revolution. It messed everything up.

I wouldn’t think there’d be anything wrong with saying man, why don’t ya just make it legal? Make and honest woman out of her, and yourself. You love her. Then they don’t feel like it’s preaching and it won’t run them the other way. I don’t know many women in that situation who are REALLY ok with it, with not being married. If your best friend is the woman, maybe you could still talk to the man, and let him know she’s your best friend and you want to see her treated right. You may have done all this, I’m just saying.

Not saying that’s their situation obviously, that’s why we should just do good, live and speak our beliefs for our lives, but pray and let God have control of it.
 
I just reread the parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) and in my opinion, it would be neighborly to assist in their move if you can.

Peace be with you,
 
Someone needs to move the furniture regardless. You’re not enabling their sin if you help, or preventing it if you don’t.
 
Remind me never to ask a question on this forum again. I read all the answers and got more confused than ever 😛

Seriously though. It is a dead issue now. I talked to my best friend after his girl asked me another time to help her with something regarding the move. I figured that she might not understand where I am coming from because I don’t even know that she knows that cohabitation is a sin. I knew my best friend probably knew though, so I talked to him instead and told him, in a very nice way (actually almost apologetic 😊) that I don’t want to assist in their move because I am trying to live a different life now and cohabitation is a sin. My friend did not sound one iota upset. He said he understood. I thought he would. He is not a practicing Catholic but I think he still has some kind of respect for The Church. NO I did not tell him he should marry her. I am not touching that issue with a 10 foot pole 😃 There is a reason why, but I am not going to get into that here.

I just had to go with my gut on this one. They can find other people to help that will have no moral objection to their living arrangements. I do not think refusing to help is a sin in this case. If anyone thinks different, then we just have to agree to disagree. Thank you everyone though.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Remind me never to ask a question on this forum again. I read all the answers and got more confused than ever 😛

Seriously though. It is a dead issue now. I talked to my best friend after his girl asked me another time to help her with something regarding the move. I figured that she might not understand where I am coming from because I don’t even know that she knows that cohabitation is a sin. I knew my best friend probably knew though, so I talked to him instead and told him, in a very nice way (actually almost apologetic 😊) that I don’t want to assist in their move because I am trying to live a different life now and cohabitation is a sin. My friend did not sound one iota upset. He said he understood. I thought he would. He is not a practicing Catholic but I think he still has some kind of respect for The Church. NO I did not tell him he should marry her. I am not touching that issue with a 10 foot pole 😃 There is a reason why, but I am not going to get into that here.

I just had to go with my gut on this one. They can find other people to help that will have no moral objection to their living arrangements. I do not think refusing to help is a sin in this case. If anyone thinks different, then we just have to agree to disagree. Thank you everyone though.
Click to expand...
I’m glad the situation is resolved and your friendship remains intact. I apologize if what I said added to your confusion.

Peace be with you,
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top