Would this be unethical?

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JessicaCeleste

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Real quick question…

My husband is a big fan of web erotica (“artsy” photos and the written word), glossy mags and pornography and has multiple subscriptions. I’ve done the “porn thing” myself, but as I’m slowly journeying to the Catholic church, it’s becoming more and more repulsive to me and lately I get infuriated when he looks at it.

He just got a magazine in the mail, he’s at work and all I want to do is burn the damn thing.

Is that bad? LoL

~Jess
 
How would you feel about it if he burned *your *mail?

…I empathize with your desire to get rid of it, but in my opinion you tread on shaky ground here. If you interfere with his property, and his mail is his property, he can justify interfering with yours.
 
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JessicaCeleste:
Real quick question…

He just got a magazine in the mail, he’s at work and all I want to do is burn the damn thing.

Is that bad? LoL

~Jess
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Real quick answer…

Yes.
 
:nope: Is it bad to burn the porno mag? Heck No! Stay as far away as you can from pornogrophy! Women and men are so much more than objects for instant sexual gratification…
 
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JessicaCeleste:
He just got a magazine in the mail, he’s at work and all I want to do is burn the damn thing.
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I wouldn´t do that if I were you. I´m sure there are better ways to deal with this.
 
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Reepicheep:
How would you feel about it if he burned *your *mail?

…I empathize with your desire to get rid of it, but in my opinion you tread on shaky ground here. If you interfere with his property, and his mail is his property, he can justify interfering with yours.
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Oy! I know - point taken.

Thanks.
 
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JessicaCeleste:
Real quick question…

My husband is a big fan of web erotica (“artsy” photos and the written word), glossy mags and pornography and has multiple subscriptions. I’ve done the “porn thing” myself, but as I’m slowly journeying to the Catholic church, it’s becoming more and more repulsive to me and lately I get infuriated when he looks at it.

He just got a magazine in the mail, he’s at work and all I want to do is burn the damn thing.

Is that bad? LoL

~Jess
Click to expand...
Just get a bunch of Post It Notes, and write notes like “Does your Mom know you read this?” or “Porn causes blindness”. Paste notes liberally throughout the magazine.
 
You don’t mention where he is on this journey with you, if at all.

Jessica, it takes time, for some, probably most, to begin to see and understand the evils of porn. It’s such an easy thing to justify. “It doesn’t hurt anybody”. 'It’s natural". “What I do behind closed doors doesn’t hurt anyone”.

I believe that the evil of this activity is written on the heart of us all. We know it is wrong, we just deny it. We essentially lie to ourselves.

As difficult as it may be, I think conversation and time is what it will take to help your husband see the evils as you see them. Not burning mail.

I hope your relationship is such that you and he can talk on this subject. Arm yourself with the loving truths of why porn does hurt. It hurts him, you and us all. It’s just carefully disguised.

God Bless
 
If the Devil was shipped to your door in a brown paper bag, would you at all hesistate for one moment what to do?

Ephesians 5: 8, 11 “for once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light. …Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”

Ephesians 6: 12 “For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this presentdarkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
 
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Catolico:
I wouldn´t do that if I were you. I´m sure there are better ways to deal with this.
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There are, for sure, but it’s just so frustrating. This is something that I am working very hard to overcome, and he just doesn’t get it.

~J
 
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tcay584:
Just get a bunch of Post It Notes, and write notes like “Does your Mom know you read this?” or “Porn causes blindness”. Paste notes liberally throughout the magazine.
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chuckle That’s an idea…

Mijoy - no, he is not on this journey with me, but he is supportive of my explorations and learning…

~j
 
I am going out on my own limb here, but if I were in that situation, I’d get rid of it. I married my husband under counsel from our priest that I was to try to help him get to heaven, as he was to do the same for me. I wouldn’t be dishonest about it, though. I would tell him we needed to talk when he got home from work and confess what I had done. I would try to use this to continue sharing how it made me feel and that I don’t want it in the marriage. I am so grateful that I’ve never had to deal with this- I have heard and seen from others the pain and torture it puts the other spouse through. I hope that this gets worked out for the better of your marriage.
 
Pour Holy Water over it
LOL

Seriously, though, why don’t you tell him you are to pray a rosary novena for him every time he reads one. Pray it aloud. Or the Chaplet of Divine Mercy inserting your husband’s name each verse…“Have mercy on…and the whole world”

I would find it such a complete turn-off, having ‘marital relations’ with a man who had been reading/looking at material that so totally denigrates women. I would feel that he was comparing me to them. YUK!!!
 
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