Would this be wrong?!?!..or heading in that direction

[lenni]

hello!
i was curious, but is this a risky decision -
hypothetically,
if a strong catholic woman marries a protestant pastor!
would this be considered not very good or possibly wrong?!
-Lenni

 

[BobCatholic]

It is not good to have differing religions in a marriage.

I’d be wondering if the protestant pastor would lose his job for that. Think about it: they’ll think “How is he a good preacher if he can’t even talk his wife into converting?” If he does lose his job, will he not be angry at you? If he doesn’t, won’t he pressure you to convert?

Then there’s raising the kids…will you raise them Catholic? Protestant? pick-n-choose? No religion?

If Catholic, more pressure on the pastor to either push the family or resign.

If protestant or other, you’re giving up your Catholic faith.

 

[Newbie2]

I would say that marrying someone who has such important differences than themself, without any indication that the other person or they themself are not likely to change is a very bad idea.

Kinda like a recovering alcoholic marrying someone who likes the more than occasional drink. Bad idea.

 

[gardenswithkids]

hello!
i was curious, but is this a risky decision -
hypothetically,
if a strong catholic woman marries a protestant pastor!
would this be considered not very good or possibly wrong?!
-Lenni

I would not call such marriage *wrong *per se–as long as the couple marries in the Catholic church or receives proper dispensation, and as long as they meet all the requirements for a Sacramental marriage.

I would catagorize this as incredibly difficult. It would take an enormous amount of grace, understanding and respect on the part of all people involved. (Including members of his Protestant congregation.) Marriage is difficult enough these days without all the extra challenges.

A mixed denominational marriage is far harder than most would tell you. My husband was Protestant when I married him and it took years of us both compromising our faith and beliefs before we figured things out. The man or the woman who enters a mixed marriage thinking they have a strong faith may discover their faith is not as strong as they think.

I suggest that any couple considering such a marriage–especially one involving a pastor-- step back from their emotions and take the matter to serious prayer to discern what God wants them to do.

 

[lenni]

receives proper dispensation, and as long as they meet all the requirements for a Sacramental marriage.

wait…so, you would need ‘proper dispensation’ from the Catholic church to marry someone who has a high status in another church such as the Protestant one??

mmm…so do you think someone who is seriously thinking of becoming a pastor would go for someone who is Catholic? - i mean, iv never heard of a situation like that before but would that be possible…

 

[Spirithound]

wait…so, you would need ‘proper dispensation’ from the Catholic church to marry someone who has a high status in another church such as the Protestant one??

A Catholic needs a dispensation from the bishop to marry anyone who is not Catholic.

 

[denwiles]

hello!
i was curious, but is this a risky decision -
hypothetically,
if a strong catholic woman marries a protestant pastor!
would this be considered not very good or possibly wrong?!
-Lenni

Risky, Yea but God can do miracles. If they are in Love it wont make much diffrence what anyone says anyway. Alot alot alot of praying and fasting. God Bless

 

[bluerose]

I find it hard to fathom that a Protestant minister would be willing to marry a strong Catholic woman… I think if a Protestant minister married a Catholic at all, it would be someone who is willing to convert. Otherwise, his credibility as a minister is shot.

My SIL was once courted by a gentleman (not a Catholic) who belonged to Promise Keepers (I think that’s the organization?) and he was planning to become a missionary and go to Russia. He wanted to marry my SIL but he wanted her to leave the Catholic faith and join him (not sure what church or denomination he belonged to… he just said he was a Christian). Apparently, her devout Catholic faith would be a stumbling block to those he was going to witness to. Needless to say, he went to Russia without her!

 

[GraceDK]

hello!
i was curious, but is this a risky decision -
hypothetically,
if a strong catholic woman marries a protestant pastor!
would this be considered not very good or possibly wrong?!
-Lenni

I once dated a protestant pastor.
A few things concerned me.
First: we would never be able to go receive communion together as a family and we would tell our children different things about what the Eucharist is… and so too about alot of things.
He would be the leader of the household, the greatest example to follow, and he was protestant… so where would that leave my children?
I who was Catholic, could I speak freely to him and to our children about the Church, the sacraments and Mary? Could we pray the rosary and share those wonderful things?
I was even worried he might, as a pastor, remarry people that had become divorced and thus bless things that God certainly does not bless.

These were just a few but I think they were rather big issues.
I often see women who come to the church alone and feel lonely as the Catholic wife of a man who does not believe and does not go to church. But I think the most important thing here is also the children… can they be raised Catholic. This is your duty of Love and your privilege. No human should throw it away because of a mortal man.

God did not mean for me to be with the protestant man… I felt that then and I know that now. but sometimes its not easy in the situation…

 

[lenni]

I once dated a protestant pastor.
A few things concerned me.
First: we would never be able to go receive communion together as a family and we would tell our children different things about what the Eucharist is… and so too about alot of things.
He would be the leader of the household, the greatest example to follow, and he was protestant… so where would that leave my children?
I who was Catholic, could I speak freely to him and to our children about the Church, the sacraments and Mary? Could we pray the rosary and share those wonderful things?
I was even worried he might, as a pastor, remarry people that had become divorced and thus bless things that God certainly does not bless.

These were just a few but I think they were rather big issues.
I often see women who come to the church alone and feel lonely as the Catholic wife of a man who does not believe and does not go to church. But I think the most important thing here is also the children… can they be raised Catholic. This is your duty of Love and your privilege. No human should throw it away because of a mortal man.

God did not mean for me to be with the protestant man… I felt that then and I know that now. but sometimes its not easy in the situation…

wow…thats amazing…
just to think that someone else on these message boards has actually been out with a protestant pastor!!..
i get what your saying - the children would end up getting so confused!!..and plus the addition of the pressure for the children to be Protestant…
ah, how annoying!!..why are there never any nice catholic single guys who have a similar personality to me, around!!..
yeah, one of my friends who i think i have a slight interest in, feels that he is drawn to become a pastor in the protestant church!..so now, unfortunately, im going to have to get uninterested…ah,what a shame! humph…:imsorry:

 

[GraceDK]

wow…thats amazing…
just to think that someone else on these message boards has actually been out with a protestant pastor!!..
i get what your saying - the children would end up getting so confused!!..and plus the addition of the pressure for the children to be Protestant…
ah, how annoying!!..why are there never any nice catholic single guys who have a similar personality to me, around!!..
yeah, one of my friends who i think i have a slight interest in, feels that he is drawn to become a pastor in the protestant church!..so now, unfortunately, im going to have to get uninterested…ah,what a shame! humph…:imsorry:

Hey Lenni…
You are convinced about your Catholic faith, no?
Can you also defend it? Do you know the differences and similarities? Do you know your Word? Do you feel you can talk totally open with your protestant friend about your faith and all these things?
Also… Is this protestant pastor interested in you? Like someone pointed out a truly protestant man (protesting catholicism) would not want his children to be raised with the Hail Mary and going to Mass and speaking highly of the Pope, so one would have to yield
I was fascinated with the fact that this guy I dated was a pastor and that he meant it and he was a very beautiful soul, However, I have since then met severel who also had chemistry with me. Today he has a protestant girlfriend… and I am so happy I did not urge my self into a relationship at that time with him because I told myself: I might not meet someone like that again. I also met a non-believing arab… great chemistry… same personality… but without sharing God, I dont see how I could be with him and remain true to my self and my hopes.

Peace to you.

God is not a God of confusion. I believe we must trust Him to take care of us

 

[LilyM]

From what I do know about Protestants, the wives of pastors are generally expected to take a big and active part in supporting the husband’s ministry - basically to be their right hand in the church community, so to speak. This would be an incredibly difficult, if not impossible, role for a Catholic woman to fill.

 

[lenni]

Also… Is this protestant pastor interested in you?

hold up! hold up!..my friend who is 20 now, is thinking that in the future, that he might want to become a pastor!..and he seems pretty active within his religion!..so im just kinda making assumptions on that basis-i.e.if he were to become a pastor!
well…at the moment…not very much level of interest, since we’ve only properly known each other for a month now!.. but he seems sweet and easy to talk to!..but he seems to have a deep connection to his own faith!..thats why, im trying to think one step ahead, if anything does happen!

 

[EvelynEVF]

Yes, she is expected to be his sidekick, and in many churches, even though it is technically only the husband who is hired, the hiring decision will be very much affected by his wife’s status. She would be expected to teach Sunday School, run the nursery, play the piano/organ, lead a ladies’ Bible study, etc.

So at least for an evangelical protestant, it would be career suicide for him to marry a Catholic.

 

[kage_ar]

Yes, she is expected to be his sidekick, and in many churches, even though it is technically only the husband who is hired, the hiring decision will be very much affected by his wife’s status. She would be expected to teach Sunday School, run the nursery, play the piano/organ, lead a ladies’ Bible study, etc.

So at least for an evangelical protestant, it would be career suicide for him to marry a Catholic.

Exactly.

Mixed marriages are usually a bad idea, to add this to it would be insane!

 

[EvelynEVF]

I will admit that I am completely befuddled by the idea of a mixed marriage. Jesus is the Bridegroom of my soul, and it means so much to me that He is willing to hang out in tabernacles all over the world, really present with us. I could not imagine choosing to share my life with someone who thought I was talking to a piece of bread in a gold box.

Any Protestant I know would call Eucharistic Adoration blatant idolatry. In fact, except maybe for some Lutherans and Anglicans, they are pretty much required to call it idolatry.

And if the boyfriend or whoever didn’t think it was idolatry, then it’s time to sign them up for RCIA! Which a protestant pastor can’t do.

You might take a look at the blog called Internet Monk. Google it. He is a post-evangelical protestant pastor, and his wife became catholic this easter or last. He has some old posts where he is really honest about how incredibly painful this is. One thing that stuck out to me is that as a catholic, his wife cannot recognize his protestant ordination as valid. Ouch.