Would u address an online acquaintance regarding detraction

  • Thread starter Thread starter mommy_k
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mommy_k

Guest
If someone detracted and gossiped about you in a private way online to others on a Catholic Forum such as this, what would u do?
 
I’d let it go. That doesn’t mean I’d approve of anyone detracting and gossiping about another person, be it me or anyone else. But if it’s against me, then I would let it go because:
  1. the person may think s/he’s only telling the truth.
  2. it would give me insight into what someone else thinks about me. In the light of this, I may want to reexamine what I say and do–not saying it means you are guilty of anything, but having another perspective about oneself can be helpful in examining one’s life.
  3. it would give me the opportunity to practice forbearance and humility.
 
I would let it go, especially considering the fact that it was private. It’s not right for people to do that but I would just take the high road and ignore it.
 
mommy_k said:
If someone detracted and gossiped about you in a private way online to others on a Catholic Forum such as this, what would u do?
Click to expand...
I’m puzzled by the question. If someone gossiped about you “privately”, I assume you are referring to private messaging, in which case you would have no way of knowing it occurred, unless you were told.

If you were told, now we have something to talk about, because it’s no longer private. And I can’t answer that question without more information, because there are different appropriate responses based on how exactly it was revealed to you, or who is involved, or how many people are involved.
 
mommy_k said:
If someone detracted and gossiped about you in a private way online to others on a Catholic Forum such as this, what would u do?
Click to expand...
I am assuming you mean that you spoke to someone online and they repeated what you said somewhere on the forum?

I would probably not confide anything to them any longer. And depending on how bad it was, I might even let them know that I knew about them gossiping.
 
I can’t imagine what anyone would say about you! Are you sure it happened? That’s really odd.
 
Thank u for the replies…

My question is … if someone told u that another person gossiped about you, in a private setting online, similar to a CAF pm what would you do?

Would u ask the original person why they did not come to you directly and risk even more gossip?

Or do nothing and just hope you fall off thier target list.
 
mommy_k said:
Thank u for the replies…

My question is … if someone told u that another person gossiped about you, in a private setting online, similar to a CAF pm what would you do?

Would u ask the original person why they did not come to you directly and risk even more gossip?

Or do nothing and just hope you fall off thier target list.
Click to expand...
Do nothing. People who are your friends know you, and know better than to take such comments seriously. People who aren’t your friends don’t matter. 😉
 
Maybe… the person could be asked, assuming what was said was meant to help another person’s situation. Such as “I’m sure you meant to help their situation, but that information was private. In the future, please ask me in advance as I may be willing to share my story personally.”
 
mommy_k said:
Thank u for the replies…

My question is … if someone told u that another person gossiped about you, in a private setting online, similar to a CAF pm what would you do?

Would u ask the original person why they did not come to you directly and risk even more gossip?

Or do nothing and just hope you fall off thier target list.
Click to expand...
I think it would depend on how well or even if I knew them. Or possibly what they were saying about me. Some things cannot just be left alone. 😊
 
mommy_k said:
It was a character assassination based on a post.
Click to expand...
YIKES! How awful.
I think I would tell the “reporter” that you don’t care to hear gossip…that will stop THAT. It was pretty unfeeling to “report” something like that to you. How hurtful is that as well? Are you real sure THAT person isn’t trolling you?

I would put the other person on ignore.
But moreover, I think your posts are great. Why would anyone pick them apart? I guess some people have nothing better to do. 🤷
 
No. And I wouldn’t let it upset you either.

It’s really best to treat people online as though they aren’t real. Don’t get invested and never trust ANYONE.

Maybe it’s because I grew up as the internet was really getting big and I was raised by older Boomers who didn’t trust it, but in my mind, nothing online, not even CAF, is “real”.
 
mommy_k said:
Thank u for the replies…

My question is … if someone told u that another person gossiped about you, in a private setting online, similar to a CAF pm what would you do?

Would u ask the original person why they did not come to you directly and risk even more gossip?

Or do nothing and just hope you fall off thier target list.
Click to expand...
I agree with Della. Do nothing.
 
I will probably let it go then… the experience has made me a bit wiser in a sad way.

Have a wonderful night and thanks again…🙂
 
Sadly this happened to me on another forum once. A woman was very friendly to me and so I confided in her, only to later find out she was laughing at me behind my back. Note this was a forum that also had a chatroom as well as PMs. It was very cliquish and the moderator (there was only one) openly played favorites. I didn’t completely leave but cut back my participation a lot, and eventually the whole forum shut down anyway, and IMHO that was a relief.

I can think of many other forums that were ruined by aggressive posters who apparently had a lot of time on their hands and used it to systematically tear others down and wind up dominating the forum. Many such forums wound up shutting down, though often for reasons other than the drama (such as, if a forum was a fan forum for a particular book or TV series, it would tend to get very slow once the series finished up). Sometimes the forums were just satellites of the main web site and the main site runners would just install a new forum software and use that as a way to “clean house” and force everyone to re-register if they wanted to participate in the new forum.

I suppose your decision will have to be based on, is whatever enjoyment you get from the site enough to over-ride that one experience? Sometimes it helps to just take a break for a week or two before deciding.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top