Would you call that lying?

[Kathrin]

I have an umcomfortable pimple on my lip and my lip is swollen. A friend of mine and I agreed that it was better not to squeeze it. Only after it forms a white head, I said.
Later that day I decided to try and squeeze it anyway.
In a way, now I lied to my friend, right?

I just went to confession on Saturday (our church had a special confession session before Holy Week). Now do I have to go again??? Or was that not a terrible lie?

Opinions?

Kathrin

 

[Tietjen]

I have an umcomfortable pimple on my lip and my lip is swollen. A friend of mine and I agreed that it was better not to squeeze it. Only after it forms a white head, I said.
Later that day I decided to try and squeeze it anyway.
In a way, now I lied to my friend, right?

I just went to confession on Saturday (our church had a special confession session before Holy Week). Now do I have to go again??? Or was that not a terrible lie?

Opinions?

Kathrin

Certainly not a mortal sin by any stretch of the imagination. No, you do not need to go to Confession for this situation.

 

[baltobetsy]

You are not bound to abide by what you and your friend discussed and agreed to in a simple conversation. You have complete freedom to change your mind when you come across new information, or even when you just feel differently about the issue. This is by no stretch of the imagination a lie of any kind. You merely changed your mind. If it had been a lie, you would have intended to deceive your friend during the first conversation, and you did not.

If you had made some kind of solemn promise and then intentionally broken that promise, there might be some kind of issue, if by breaking the promise you somehow hurt your friend. But whatever harm was done happened to you, not to her.

Now, if she sees you in the next day or so and notices that your lip is still swollen because what you did turned out badly, she might ask you what happened, and you only need to tell her you changed your mind and didn’t wait. And she might say, “I told you so!” and that’s the end of it.

Betsy

 

[BlaineTog]

In order for something to be a mortal sin, it has to be a grave matter and you have to do it with the full consent of your will. First, this isn’t a grave matter by any stretch of the imagination, so it at least can’t be a mortal sin. Second, you clearly didn’t intend to say one thing and do another, you simply changed your mind later, and you didn’t have any sort of vow, just a vague and casual agreement, so you also didn’t intentionally do something wrong, so I’d say it isn’t even a sin at all.

 

[Scottgun]

As others said, no lie. When you agreed to leave it alone, that was a general intention, not a solemn promise. You were free to change your mind.

 

[Kathrin]

Hey, thanks all!

So, generally speaking, if I say something to somebody and then later change my mind, that would not be called a lie?

(Unless, of course, I know while I say it that I WILL later change my mind.)

Kathrin

 

[Newbie2]

Generally speaking, no. At the time, you said what you thought it was true.

That being said, it’s always best to let someone know if you change your mind (and maybe why you did, if it’s appropriate), if you’ve told them something significant.

For example, if you said you were going to the mall with so-and-so, and later change your mind and go play soccer, it’a probably a good idea to let so-and-so know that you changed your mind and are doing something else.

Sometimes it’s complicated to decide which things are trivial and not worth worrying about and which things need to be explained to other people. It’s all a part of learning to be an adult, something that takes a lifetime.

 

[baltobetsy]

So, generally speaking, if I say something to somebody and then later change my mind, that would not be called a lie?

Absolutely not! It’s only a lie when you tell what you know to be untrue with the intention to deceive.

So for the going to the mall example, if you tell someone you’re going to the mall while intending at the time of your discussion to go play soccer instead, you have lied. If you change your mind later and go play soccer, it would be good manners to notify the friend that you will not be at the mall in case she’s looking for you there.

I think that what you are trying to do is make every single thing you say be consistent with every single thing you do. You call it a “lie” when anything at all you say is at variance with the facts, regardless of the reason. While this sounds like a lofty goal, it is neither necessary nor possible. Remember, not every inaccuracy is a lie, only the ones meant to deceive. And lies that are mortal sins concern important matters that have serious effects on people. The pimple on your lip or (from another thread awhile back) the yogurt in your backpack don’t make a bit of difference to anyone.

Betsy

 

[Believe_85]

I have an umcomfortable pimple on my lip and my lip is swollen. A friend of mine and I agreed that it was better not to squeeze it. Only after it forms a white head, I said.
Later that day I decided to try and squeeze it anyway.
In a way, now I lied to my friend, right?

I just went to confession on Saturday (our church had a special confession session before Holy Week). Now do I have to go again??? Or was that not a terrible lie?

Opinions?

Kathrin

You have a right to change your mind, for pete’s sake! Did you make a pact with your friend about when to pop a zit? Seriously…have you heard about scruples? I would look into it if I were you. Jesus does not want us to sweat the small stuff, this is soooooooooooo small.