Would you confront a teen who's texting during Mass?

[Crusaderbear]

Reprimand in private…people with think the better of you if youjust wait until mass is ended and all are going in peace. If you are that apoplectic, sit in the front row and criticize the alter boys!

 

[PRmerger]

Reprimand in private…people with think the better of you if youjust wait until mass is ended and all are going in peace. If you are that apoplectic, sit in the front row and criticize the alter boys!

Can you tell me what was wrong with whispering to this lad at the time he was actually on his phone?

 

[Crusaderbear]

Can you tell me what was wrong with whispering to this lad at the time he was actually on his phone?

If thats what it was, very little, but you made it sound like a ‘wrath of God’ moment! My bad, sorry. From his point of view, its you picking on him because he’s a teen…at least he is in church! This snowmageddon is getting to me!

 

[pianistclare]

Well, I am of the unpopular opinion that we are all called to help parents with their teens’ education. Being a DRE, I have no problem telling a kid to pay attention. put their phone away, stop talking, take their feet off the pew in front of them, or anything else.
I’ve never ever had a parent be upset with me. More like embarrassment that they were clueless as to what was going on.
Parents need that time at Mass. Sometimes they are just so focused that they don’t realize what’s happening.
Most are glad that it was brought up. Far more embarrassing to have Father say something after Mass while saying goodbye.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Well, I am of the unpopular opinion that we are all called to help parents with their teens’ education. Being a DRE, I have no problem telling a kid to pay attention. put their phone away, stop talking, take their feet off the pew in front of them, or anything else.
I’ve never ever had a parent be upset with me. More like embarrassment that they were clueless as to what was going on.
Parents need that time at Mass. Sometimes they are just so focused that they don’t realize what’s happening.
Most are glad that it was brought up. Far more embarrassing to have Father say something after Mass while saying goodbye.

Most people know better than to mess with the church lady!

 

[PRmerger]

If thats what it was, very little, but you made it sound like a ‘wrath of God’ moment!

Um…no, I didn’t.

My bad, sorry. From his point of view, its you picking on him because he’s a teen…at least he is in church! This snowmageddon is getting to me!

That’s like a driver being given a ticket for speeding (which she actually was doing) saying, "You’re picking on me because I’m a woman.’

No. You’re getting a ticket because you were caught speeding.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Um…no, I didn’t.

That’s like a driver being given a ticket for speeding (which she actually was doing) saying, "You’re picking on me because I’m a woman.’

No. You’re getting a ticket because you were caught speeding.

You don’t work with teens! Out.

 

[exnihilo]

I would absolutely confront a teen and commend you for it. When I was a Protestant a couple of girls where chatting and cutting up during communion. I asked them to please stop and they did. They also seemed a bit embarrassed as they should have been. Frankly it is much better for me to say something and early as stuff like that really grates on me. The longer it goes on the less polite I’ll be.

It wasn’t that long ago that there was a general sense that all adults help in some way to discipline kids. I can think of several times where adults who weren’t in some official position of authority corrected me.

And for the record, our music ministry has been known to check the big game scores during the homily, so it’s not just kids.

Nope, it’s not just kids who need gentle corrections. And I should note that every time a cellphone rings during Mass, which is thankfully rare, it is an older persons. You can tell from the style of the ringtone.

If said before on these boards there are those who take charity to an extreme for fear of being judgemental. Sometimes common sense is lost. Based on some postings here there are people that would see a man running at them pointing a gun and firing and they would say maybe the person was trying to give you a gun for free.

Thanks for a much needed laugh!

 

[RedBasket]

I dont normally interfere with other peoples kids, but if it were something seriously distracting me, I may have put my finger to my lips and winked to let him know that it was bothering me, but that I was not angry.

 

[jmcrae]

You don’t work with teens! Out.

I do work with teens, and the attitude of “well at least they’re in Church” doesn’t do them any favours. When called to (as in this very instance) teens can rise to the occasion. They will meet the expectations that we set for them.

 

[Maddie26]

PRmerger said:That’s like a driver being given a ticket for speeding (which she actually was doing) saying, "You’re picking on me because I’m a woman.’

No. You’re getting a ticket because you were caught speeding.

I think my best comparison would be that the police officer wasn’t giving the ticket, just another driver. Maybe your parish needs a Mass cop

If you have ADHD and are highly distractible then you might want to sit in front where you are less likely to see other people. If that is still a problem then keep modesty of the eyes or close them. It’s very hard to close your ears when people are whispering, though.

As for being TOO charitable, where do you think Jesus and the Saints would sit on that continuum?

If you think you were totally justified in what you did then why post it here?

PRmerger said: I don’t judge people for judging me.

For that would be…hypocritical.

Don’t judge you for being judgemental? Lol.

 

[PRmerger]

I think my best comparison would be that the police officer wasn’t giving the ticket, just another driver. Maybe your parish needs a Mass cop

This is begging the question, yeah?

Point is: perhaps we are all supposed to be police officers at Mass when there’s a teenager texting.

At least, that’s what we’re trying to discuss.

If you have ADHD and are highly distractible then you might want to sit in front where you are less likely to see other people. If that is still a problem then keep modesty of the eyes or close them. It’s very hard to close your ears when people are whispering, though.

Well, I don’t know if you know that much about ADHD, but being distracted by a person texting in front of you would NOT meet the criteria.

However, you are absolutely correct that any person who is highly distractible should sit in front.

As for being TOO charitable, where do you think Jesus and the Saints would sit on that continuum?

I think they would say: Yes, it’s absolutely absurd to think that a man running at you pointing a gun and firing may be just trying to give you a gun. Get Thee away as fast as Thee can!

Similarly: yes, it’s absolutely absurd to assert that someone doesn’t know the difference between an insulin pump and a person texting on a phone. Get Thee some common sense!

If you think you were totally justified in what you did then why post it here?

Fair enough, fair enough.

I am not certain that I’m totally justified, so I am willing to hear arguments to the contrary.

But they have to be logical and reasonable arguments.

So if someone comes here and says, “Well, you never know if that person is the Devil and you were communicating with the Devil when you confronted him! So don’t ever do that again!”…then I think I can address that argument as nonsense.

But I’m willing to hear thoughtful positions that are contrary to mine.

And there has been some good discussion here.

Don’t judge you for being judgemental? Lol.

I know, right?

“I get to judge you for judging me. But you can’t judge me. That’s bad” = hypocritical

 

[PRmerger]

You don’t work with teens! Out.

Oh, but I do. I work with 4 teens in the most intimate way possible.

 

[Maddie26]

This is begging the question, yeah?

Point is: perhaps we are all supposed to be police officers at Mass when there’s a teenager texting.

At least, that’s what we’re trying to discuss.

Well, I don’t know if you know that much about ADHD, but being distracted by a person texting in front of you would NOT meet the criteria.

However, you are absolutely correct that any person who is highly distractible should sit in front.

I think they would say: Yes, it’s absolutely absurd to think that a man running at you pointing a gun and firing may be just trying to give you a gun. Get Thee away as fast as Thee can!

Similarly: yes, it’s absolutely absurd to assert that someone doesn’t know the difference between an insulin pump and a person texting on a phone. Get Thee some common sense!

Fair enough, fair enough.

I am not certain that I’m totally justified, so I am willing to hear arguments to the contrary.

But they have to be logical and reasonable arguments.

So if someone comes here and says, “Well, you never know if that person is the Devil and you were communicating with the Devil when you confronted him! So don’t ever do that again!”…then I think I can address that argument as nonsense.

But I’m willing to hear thoughtful positions that are contrary to mine.

And there has been some good discussion here.

I know, right?

“I get to judge you for judging me. But you can’t judge me. That’s bad” = hypocritical

As an adult with ADHD I do actually know what it’s like to be highly distractible. I spend a lot of time at Mass with my eyes shut. Being highly distractible is part of my symptoms. I’ve done 4 other things since starting to post

If you’re determined to use the gun analogy, it perhaps fits better AFTER the person has fired the shot- maybe even into my own chest. Now, do you condemn or forgive (as an individual, not as the law)? Jesus certainly made His point on this topic. I agree that the Devil argument is nonsense.

My police officer point, to take it back to the road, was whether all drivers should be police, so clearly my answer was no.

 

[RyanBlack]

I most likely would not; however, I do not take issue with someone else doing so, provided it is done in a discreet, polite manner.

 

[PRmerger]

As an adult with ADHD I do actually know what it’s like to be highly distractible. I spend a lot of time at Mass with my eyes shut. Being highly distractible is part of my symptoms. I’ve done 4 other things since starting to post

Ok.

If you’re determined to use the gun analogy, it perhaps fits better AFTER the person has fired the shot- maybe even into my own chest. Now, do you condemn or forgive (as an individual, not as the law)?

This is way off the analogy.

Someone here asserted that we ought to give the benefit of the doubt to the teen. Maybe it was an insulin pump. Maybe it’s [fill in the blank]. Don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that he’s doing something wrong. Be charitable

And someone else asserted–correctly–that sometimes the attempts to justify a charitable rationale for the bad behavior are simply ree-DAHNK-u-lous. Like, “Maybe the guy running towards you in a hoodie and face mask with a gun just wants to give you the gun! Did you ever think about that, Ms Big Meanie Who Thinks Everyone Is A Sinner? Huh? Huh?”

My police officer point, to take it back to the road, was whether all drivers should be police, so clearly my answer was no.

But maybe all Catholics at Mass should be policing teenage texters.

That’s the question, eh?

 

[Saber_Mom]

I have teenagers of my own. They know how to behave at Mass.

Would I say something? No question. I think you handled it perfectly. I’m not sure if I would have been as graceful as you were.

I “reminded” two ladies a few weeks ago that they were in church. I need to work on being more polite as I said, “you DO know you’re in church, right? You can catch up with each other later.” Then I was shocked at my OWN behavior!

 

[PRmerger]

I have teenagers of my own. They know how to behave at Mass.

Would I say something? No question. I think you handled it perfectly. I’m not sure if I would have been as graceful as you were.

I “reminded” two ladies a few weeks ago that they were in church. I need to work on being more polite as I said, “you DO know you’re in church, right? You can catch up with each other later.” Then I was shocked at my OWN behavior!

http://www.friendlyfootcare.com/wp-content/themes/friendlyfootcare/images/like_facebook.png

 

[Maddie26]

Ok.

Someone here asserted that we ought to give the benefit of the doubt to the teen. Maybe it was an insulin pump. Maybe it’s [fill in the blank]. Don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that he’s doing something wrong. Be charitable

And someone else asserted–correctly–that sometimes the attempts to justify a charitable rationale for the bad behavior are simply ree-DAHNK-u-lous. Like, “Maybe the guy running towards you in a hoodie and face mask with a gun just wants to give you the gun! Did you ever think about that, Ms Big Meanie Who Thinks Everyone Is A Sinner? Huh? Huh?”

I’m sorry everyone doesn’t agree with you. That doesn’t mean I’m calling you names, nor does it give you the right to put nasty words into my mouth.

 

[PRmerger]

I’m sorry everyone doesn’t agree with you. That doesn’t mean I’m calling you names, nor does it give you the right to put nasty words into my mouth.

Oh, sheesh.

Buh-bye.

ignore