I’m still not completely sure what you mean by “lapsed”. Each of us could have a different interpretation, so you may want to ask your source what they mean by lapsed. If God leads you to do so, perhaps it is something to learn from the woman herself? Depending on where she is, my post may not hold any bearing at all, but I’ll add it just the same.
My DH and I could’ve easily considered each other “lapsed” for completely different reasons. For me, it wasn’t enough that he went to mass regularly. He did not have a strong background of spending daily time praying and reading from the Bible, and I’d even heard him say that he often skipped out on his singles Bible study to go drink margarittas (with the other half of the class who was skipping out). I probably would’ve completely rejected him based on this information. At this same time, I was not attending mass regularly. It was for a very personal and private reason (something happened at my local parish), and I had been praying for courage to try another parish - even though it was very scary for me to try a new place on my own.
But as God ordained it, DH and I ended up working at the same place, and we did not even consider each other as potential partners in any way for many months. But after a few months, I suddenly realized one day that I’d never spent so much time around a man who so reflected Jesus Christ day-in and day-out, and in many different situations with every kind of person we dealt with. Of course, there were many other things to consider and learn about each other along the way, and that is what the “dating & praying about it” phase was for.
I suppose God moved in DH’s heart to not hold my attendance record against me, and we actually started attending a new parish together (the place where we were married, and where our first child -expected in April- will be baptized).
After 3 years of marriage, and many more life experiences together, I can still say I am amazed by the ways I see Christ reflected in my husband’s decisions and actions. He has bad days like anyone else, and he expresses his honest feelings. But he is still respectful of others and doesn’t use his emotions as an excuse to behave badly.
Only you can determine whether God is leading you to learn more about this prospective person. Perhaps you will know without ever meeting them, or perhaps you will know by the first date, or the 20th. Be open to His leading even if they seem perfect from Day 1.
