Would you date / begin a relationship with a non-Catholic?

[Flopfoot]

To LSK - “1. why was I not this smart when I was in my 20’s.” - I wasn’t smart. My dad talked with me about it one day, and at first I didn’t agree with him, but after talking about it and thinking about it for a while I started to see that he was right.

If any of you have children, be sure to pass this ‘knowledge’ on to them, that’s how I got it.

To nuCatholic - “Nope sure wouldn’t, but finding a nice Catholic girl is pretty tough nowadays…maybe thats why I have been single my entire college career…or maybe I just smell or something.” - Well yea, that’s a different consideration. I smell and I’m ugly and I don’t know of any girls, Catholic or otherwise, who ‘like’ me in the slightest. And yea I have met very few girls who are good Catholics. But considering that there are 5 million people in Sydney, there must be some good Catholic girls here somewhere surely! I have a suspicion that I am going to die single. But I’d rather die single than be married to a non-Catholic anyway.

To aurora77 - “But, if you find yourself in a position similar to mine…” - How am I going to find myself in that position where I am in a strong relationship or ‘in love’ with a non-Catholic if I don’t date one in the first place? (-: I don’t have to worry about that situation.

Actually I can think of a way how that could happen but I’ll discuss that in another thread.
Isn’t it strange how mostly women are posting in this thread. Don’t guys talk about relationships or something? (-:

 

[Gwyn]

Flopfoot:

If any of you have children, be sure to pass this ‘knowledge’ on to them, that’s how I got it.

(-:

I know I will for sure.
My DS is only 6 and I teach him to be friends with everyone. But choose a Catholic wife. On 2 occasions he has come home saying he is going to marry some girl in his class. To this I tell him- he has a long time more for that, now he has to study in school, then high school, university, get a good job and then think of marrying. And would be very nice if the girl were Catholic. (Both were not)
Well might as well start young

 

[Al_Masetti]

A thought:

Many of the people who have happy marriages seem to have included GOING TO MASS TOGETHER as a date.

Imagine that: not dancing. Not drinking. Not a sports game. Going to Mass as a date.

It would strengthen the faith of the “partner” who is weak in the faith. OR, it would establish firmly that the “partner” [not sure what to call “it”… datee?? ] is interested or definitely NOT interested.

If the person is “DEFINITELY not interested” in strengthening their Catholicism, then that person will initiate action to break off the relationship.

Interesting idea???

 

[Flopfoot]

Well, yea. My idea has always been, that if my girlfriend already goes to mass every week, then I would start going to her church for Sunday mass. If she doesn’t go to mass every week, then I would go to the church where she goes to mass for Christmas and Easter, and bring her with me, for mass every week. If she cares about what I think at all then she should give going to weekly mass a try… how hard is it to sit on a pew for 45 minutes?

 

[Aaron_I]

Here’s what the CCC says:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a nonbaptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.135 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.136 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.137

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."138 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.139 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

My thoughts are that a non-Catholic can only be married if he is ABSOLUTELY SINCERE. This means the “oh, but I love him” probably won’t cut it. Only a totally respectable and self-possessed person (someone like maryjk’s husband) is able to sacrifice and be psuedo-Catholic for the family’s sake. Such a man may be converted, but even if he does not, he will support you in raising Catholic children. Marrying a non-Catholic who is more passion driven may be more difficult as he probably won’t show the same respect. As for me, I will probably only date a Catholic woman.

One last note, never forget the purpose of dating is to find someone to marry. Dating for fun only cheats you out of any chance for a meaningful relationship and ultimately leaves you hurt.

 

[HappyCatholic01]

Depends on how hard the particular pew is…

If so, I’d stand in the back

But yes, that’s not a sacrifice AT ALL.

 

[SemperJase]

Flopfoot:

And since I don’t want to marry a non-Catholic, well there’s no point beginning a relationship in the first place if I know that we are just going to break up somewhere down the track which would be upsetting for both of us.

A wise choice. If you want to marry a Catholic, date Catholics. Seems like common sense.

If you wanted to be a baseball player, would you practice bowling?

The other thing they say is that you can have a relationship even if you don’t think it will end in marriage, as plenty of people will have a relationship for fun or for the experience

This raises the questions, what is dating for? What “experience” do you get out of dating when the goal is not marriage?

Sounds like a waste of time to me.

You already have an edge. Stick to your standards.

 

[Eileen_T]

SemperJase Quote:

This raises the questions, what is dating for? What “experience” do you get out of dating when the goal is not marriage?

My daughters came to this conclusion: if you are not ready to get married, what is the point in dating? They go out with friends or their older brothers.