Would you date/marry a non-Catholic?

[SeekerJen]

It would prohibit the marriage.

I still am not understanding your meaning. Are you trying to say that all marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics, even those permitted by the Church as valid and sacramental, are near occasions of sin?

 

[Larowyn]

I still am not understanding your meaning. Are you trying to say that all marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics, even those permitted by the Church as valid and sacramental, are near occasions of sin?

I should think so, considering all of the problems that can arise from such a marriage and how they can lead to questionable choices. Plus it’s not like there’s a shortage of young, charming, intelligent, and religious eligible Catholic bachelors floating around anyway.

 

[SeekerJen]

I should think so, considering all of the problems that can arise from such a marriage and how they can lead to questionable choices. Plus it’s not like there’s a shortage of young, charming, intelligent, and religious eligible Catholic bachelors floating around anyway.

And with that, I’m done with this thread. Thanks for your uncharitable blanket assumptions, and thanks to AnneElizabeth for your uncharitable assumptions as well.

 

[Larowyn]

And with that, I’m done with this thread. Thanks for your uncharitable blanket assumptions, and thanks to AnneElizabeth for your uncharitable assumptions as well.

Must I spell it out for you? Where would the marriage ceremony take place? Would the non-Catholic Christian expect to use condoms during married life? Would he or she approve of sending the kids to a Catholic school or at least to a Catholic church for Mass every Sunday? Would he or she go to Mass? Would he or she try to get their Catholic spouse to stop praying the Rosary and “worshiping idols”? Would he or she approve of having a priest over to bless the house? Would he or she try to convince their Catholic spouse to become Protestant? Would they argue over religion, or just stop practicing altogether and let the children decide on their own what to do about religion when they grow up just to keep the peace?

QQ less, kthx.

 

[SeekerJen]

Must I spell it out for you? Where would the marriage ceremony take place? Would the non-Catholic Christian expect to use condoms during married life? Would he or she approve of sending the kids to a Catholic school or at least to a Catholic church for Mass every Sunday? Would he or she go to Mass? Would he or she try to get their Catholic spouse to stop praying the Rosary and “worshiping idols”? Would he or she approve of having a priest over to bless the house? Would he or she try to convince their Catholic spouse to become Protestant? Would they argue over religion, or just stop practicing altogether and let the children decide on their own what to do about religion when they grow up just to keep the peace?

QQ less, kthx.

I don’t know what QQ less means, but in my situation (since you’re apparently assuming the worst):

The marriage was in my Catholic parish, presided over by the pastor, who conducted our pre-marital counseling. We don’t use any form of birth control, not even NFP. He’s fine with this. He was never exposed to Catholicism growing up, as his grandfather was a Congregational minister, but he likes the parish, and although he doesn’t always attend Mass with me on Sundays, he encourages my attendance at Mass as well as involvement in parish activities and has no problem with raising any children we might be blessed with as Catholics. If we can afford Catholic school and the school is not like the one I attended, then he would be fine with the kids attending (I wouldn’t want my children attending a Catholic school like the one I attended, I left that school as an agnostic and completely disgusted with what I knew about the Church). We don’t argue over religion, as he knew that it was a non-negotiable when we started dating, and if anyone in this marriage is converting it will be him. He’s more Catholic than many “Catholics” that I know- he’s pro-life, against divorce in most situations, is totally fine with NFP, thinks that Confession has a lot of value as a sacrament.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

The way you say that the Church ‘allows’ it make it seem like the Church thinks it all good and dandy to do so.

Who is detracting now?

Speak the TRUTH!- The Church FROWNS upon mixed marriages. READ YOUR CATECHISM! Just because Father so-in-so decides “Well, what the hey, they are young and in love…” doesn’t mean that God said OK to it. Infallibility is only when The Pope speaks ex-cathedra- and not when he talks all the time. Even the Catechism teaches that Popes can be bad people. We all are called to know our Faith and to live it and DEFEND it.

To say that just because lots of mixed marriages are happening within the Church these days is a good defense as to why it is ok is just as foolish as one from the Arian heresy thought that what they were believing was right because much of those in the Church believed so as well.

The Church is not a democracy. If 95% of the Church believed that women should be priests doesn’t mean that God thinks so too.

You asserted that I was insinuating that these people who get into mixed marriages were done out of selfish reasons. Kids don’t know all that they should and I certainly don’t hold them responsible for the mistakes they make— Kids naturally are selfish, why? because they don’t know all they should yet to make a sane and sensible decision. There is no fault in that. However, when it comes to a life long vow of marriage, where the sole purpose of such a union is to raise children in THE FAITH- I do believe that WAY TOO MANY mixed marriages are happening these days where people don’t realize the problems that are going to come out of it because of their natural selfish tenancies. That is my point. That’s not arrogant…that is being HONEST and TRUTHFUL and CARING. Cutting slack to mixed couples would be the opposite.

 

[Larowyn]

I don’t know what QQ less means, but in my situation (since you’re apparently assuming the worst):

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qq

I thought you were done with this thread because you didn’t like what other people had to say?

 

[sanctamaria17]

Yes it does allow them. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to get a dispensation allowing it. And if they were baptized, whether Catholic and lapsed, Protestant, Orthodox, etc, it’s still sacramental as long as the baptism was Trinitarian.

It’s not about being “young and in love.” There actually are some amazing people out there who just have not had the good fortune of growing up Catholic. I know more Protestants who believe in NFP and waiting till marriage than I do Catholics in some cases. Actually, most people I know who converted had come because of a Catholic spouse.

No, I wouldn’t marry a non-Catholic. I dated someone who wasn’t Catholic and it didn’t work out (though faith wasn’t the only issue, there was the fact that we were long distance and college freshmen). But for some people, it does work out. No, it’s not encouraged, it is discouraged, but it isn’t completely banned. Therefore, it’s not a mortal sin or even a venial sin.

 

[GraceDK]

Would you date/marry a non-Catholic, like a Protestant?

Yes.

 

[SeekerJen]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qq

I thought you were done with this thread because you didn’t like what other people had to say?

Yes, cast my contradictory behavior up to me, thanks. I’ll make sure not to clear up misconceptions and false assumptions regarding my personal life again on this thread. I still have no idea what QQ means. Your link was not helpful.

 

[rusty20]

I never like to say I’d never do sometihng. But having been in a relationship with a non-Catholic girl, I would GREATLY PREFER to date Catholic only. That is one of my goals from here on out…

I will add a quote from one of my former threads about this :

Read the couple of jillion posts here about mixed marriages. See if you want to walk down a road where you do not share the most important thing on this earth with your wife.

I think that’s the biggest issue. If you are a strong Catholic, you will want to share your faith with your spouse. So marry Catholic, or at least someone VERY open to Catholicism.

 

[chevalier]

Probably not. Not if it were going to be a struggle between her and me.

 

[_Jenn]

Yes - I did, in fact, marry a non-Catholic. Not a problem to be had for us, really. These broad brush assumptions about how hard and rough it will be just make me laugh sometimes. For me, there’s more to a person than their denomination.

And the whole “unequally yoked” thing - IMO, that has nothing to do with the various Christian denominations - I’m a Catholic Christian, my dh is a Lutheran Christian - so seeing that we are both Christians, BELIEVERS, the unequally yoked doesn’t apply to us.

And no, my child is not put in the middle, he’s not lacking in any way, etc.

Just my $.02

 

[Jwlynas]

Um, I may be mistaken in my logic here, but I do worry that some of you believe we live in a perfect world.A child from a catholic marriage is in fact more likely to damn their souls, albeit by accident, than one from a mixed marriage with catholic influences. After all, our souls are strengthened by adversity are they not? To use a metaphor, It is all too easily to fall from the tightrope, and if you have never been on the ground you may not be able to find your way back.

In other words, its very hard to avoid sin if you have no real idea of its appearance, and catholicism is often lax in explaining quite how tempting sin can be. I’m not criticizing catholic only marriages, just saying that sometimes a bit of debate can really open eyes to what the dangers are. I am not catholic, so maybe my opinion is a little skewed, but I will admit that if my spouse ever had an opinion and mine differed when it came to children I would defer to her. After all, she has a better grasp of reasoning behind her morals than I do. God-given beats logic reasoned any day of the week.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

~Jenn~

Ever read the Syllabus of Errors? What you have said is not even Catholic! What you have said is YOUR personal opinion and goes against the teachings of the Church, which proves the point that near occasions of sin like marrying outside the faith usually makes you end up being a Protestant- only wearing a Catholic badge and you don’t even realize!!!

 You say you are believers.  You are believers in what?  Sounds like a name only.  It **can't** be both ways- if it is both ways then its can be ALL ways and all ways lead to** madness.**  There can only be ONE TRUTH-  HIS NAME IS JESUS CHRIST, there can only be ONE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST- that is The Catholic Church.  You can't pick and choose- then it becomes YOUR religion.  AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO MOST CATHOLICS IN MIXED MARRIAGES....  WHICH IS MY POINT...... thank you very much Jenn for brilliantly illustrating it.

Also, ask your children when they turn, say, 12 or 20 or 30 years old what their faith life is like. Then come back here and state that there are no problems. Funny, you say your child is not lacking, as if you are personally able to view your child’s faith in God. One can easily harp back what they are told, doesn’t mean that is what is going on in the heart and mind. We live with what we are given and two faiths doesn’t equal one- it equals one made-up faith which leads to madness if it is not contained (example of this is some of the crazy sects out there) or no faith at all.

 I think you just don't have any idea what you are saying.  You eradicate anything being strictly 'Catholic' by what you have said.  Think about it.  What you are saying is what Pilate said to Our Lord.. "What is Truth?"   

<<<Prayers for your conversion and the conversion of your hubby>>>>.

 

[lizaanne]

A few years ago I was dating and engaged to a Protestant. I was willing to agree to disagree on many essential points of my Faith. Now that I am married to my wonderful Catholic husband, if he were do die I would never consider a non-Catholic man. I know now how amazing it is to share my Faith with the one I am closest to in this world, and I could never live without that in marriage again.

~Liza

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

Well, I am, so- yes.

Um, I may be mistaken in my logic here, but I do worry that some of you believe we live in a perfect world.A child from a catholic marriage is in fact more likely to damn their souls, albeit by accident, than one from a mixed marriage with catholic influences. After all, our souls are strengthened by adversity are they not? To use a metaphor, It is all too easily to fall from the tightrope, and if you have never been on the ground you may not be able to find your way back.

I mainly agree with this. Historically Catholicism has flourished in areas where martyrdom is common and the Faith was banned. I realize this is more extreme, but the point stands. And less extreme, I became more faithful after I’ve had to defend the Faith and got into debating.

In other words, its very hard to avoid sin if you have no real idea of its appearance, and catholicism is often lax in explaining quite how tempting sin can be. I’m not criticizing catholic only marriages, just saying that sometimes a bit of debate can really open eyes to what the dangers are. I am not catholic, so maybe my opinion is a little skewed, but I will admit that if my spouse ever had an opinion and mine differed when it came to children I would defer to her. After all, she has a better grasp of reasoning behind her morals than I do. God-given beats logic reasoned any day of the week.

I agree with this. If you’re not taught right, you’re going to fall at the first sign of debate or conflict. Doesn’t necessarily mean that if you’re only exposed to Catholicism you’ll do bad in the real world, but you may if taught loosely or wrong. I went to a Catholic High school, very very few students were practicing Catholics. They were Catholic because their parents said so, and that’s about it.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Would you date/marry a non-Catholic…?

No. I am a cradle Catholic and I married a cradle Catholic. I only dated Catholic men before I got married just because faith is such an important aspect of life (and also because most of the people I knew were Catholic and that is still true today). I’m already concerned about my children finding good, faithful Catholic spouses to settle down with. Silly I know to be concerned about that now since they are only 12, 10 and 5, but even so I’m still a bit concerned, considering the culture we live in. Sadly, I know that even if they find Catholics, I know there is no guarantee that their prospective spouses are actually practicing Catholics and not just Catholic in name only. All I can do is try to teach them well and then pray that my kids make good choices (with the Lord’s help, of course).

Don’t really know how they’d go about it, since I don’t really know people who talk much about their religion, but there must be a way to choose well. Church involvement, youth groups, going to truly Catholic colleges, etc. will probably figure in.

 

[Pro-Life_Teen]

NO. To do so is to put your desires in front of God’s.

To do so is to put Mother Church’s** loving** advice behind your own. So you are really saying to God, that you know better than Him.

There is a GOOD reason why Mother Church teaches what she does. Don’t go happily skipping into a mixed marraige thinking it will all be okay— that is testing God, which is a sin.

And for once, will someone please stand up for all the children who are products of these mixed marriages? Just DON’T DO IT for their soul’s sake, okay? You have no idea. You have NO idea.

AnneElizabeth, I don’t know whether comments like these should amuse, or distress. I believe everything that the Church teaches and I try to be the best Catholic I can. The fact that the person I love happens to be a deist does not make me a bad Catholic, nor does it mean that I am “testing God” and sinning.

No one is perfect, I certainly am not. I will say that I have many faults about me. But my love and caring for another human being made in God’s image and likeness is not one of them. Yes, he is not Catholic, but he is kind, wonderful, and more Catholic in some regards than Catholics I know.

As for children, it’s my view that if your non-Catholic spouse doesn’t allow your children to be raised Catholic knowing that you have an obligation, well, that has more to do with him/her being controlling and disrespectful than not being Catholic.

 

[Larowyn]

Yes, cast my contradictory behavior up to me, thanks. I’ll make sure not to clear up misconceptions and false assumptions regarding my personal life again on this thread. I still have no idea what QQ means. Your link was not helpful.

QQ less means cry less. Look at each Q and they almost look like eyes with tears coming out if you use your imagination. I said it because you were whining about people who didn’t agree with you.