Would you loan the money?

[whatevergirl]

Yes, I would and I have done this exact thing. A good friend of mine from high school was also in a serious custody battle for his child and needed money for various things like the psychologist eval, etc.

I did give him money, not as a loan but as a gift. I did not ever expect to see it back and even though he said “I’ll pay you back” I knew he wouldn’t because he couldn’t. So, I gave him the money out of love.

If you want to give him the money, do so. You don’t owe it to him nor do you owe his family. His mother gave you gifts out of love and you don’t owe anything because of that. Don’t be guilted into anything.

If you feel comfortable doing so, and feel called to give money, then give it.

Just know there are always two sides. I found out some things about my friend later that were disturbing.

Ditto 1ke’s post here.
Nana, give it if you wish to…don’t expect it paid back. I would distance myself however, from the complexities of the whole custody/divorce situation. Good luck and God bless you for your willingness to give to this man in need.

 

[ac_claire]

live the Beattitudes…I don’t remember Jesus stating during His Sermon on The Mount…“do these things for the least of my bretheren as long as they haven’t committed any sins and their story checks out”.

That’s a good point.

 

[mdgspencer]

You should pray much about this. God can help you see the best course.

 

[nana3]

Thank you all for your advice. My husband and I have been praying about it and it is amazing how our decision is how many of you are thinking. We have decided that if we are to give him the money it would be what we can afford and it would be a gift and not a loan. We have also decided to let him know that we can not do this for him in the future again. My sister went through an ugly divorce and custody battle and his divorce is looking this way. Hers cost over $26,000.00 and is now having to go back to court again to do a psychological evaluation which involves more money. It is very expensive. He has admitted that his mother paid for his lawyer and some of his friends helped out too, but if his case continues on for years like my sisters did, he will need to continue to ask for money. What gets me upset is that he recently had a settlement from a car accident that he was in and was injured in. He got $24,000.00 from that. Everyone told him to close his bank account when his wife left him but he didn’t listen and so she took half of that. We don’t know what he did with the other half of his money. I know he owed a lot in credit cards, so many he paid them off, but still he had a lot of money and it is all gone. He has two houses that are foreclosing. He does not know how to use his money wisely and this was part of his problem in their marriage. At least this is what his wife told me, but after their separation, I saw for myself for he kept his bank account open to her and she would withdraw $2000.00 a month for herself. So he had to be earning a good income. Now he says he is broke and has no money. I don’t know what his job is now. I know he does something with timeshares.

My husband and I will continue to pray about it until we feel the Lord telling us to give him the money. So far my husband is completely comfortable in giving him the money but not $ 500.00 for we can’t afford that. I agree with that, but I don’t feel comfortable in giving him the money yet.

As far as what some of you wrote about him going to a non-denonminational church for help, it was the only program available in our area for sexual addiction. This man goes to weekly confessions and daily Mass. He also has a priest as a spiritual director who is helping him with this problem as well. So he is seeing people for his problem spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. He is really trying to beat this addiction that he has had for 33 years. He doesn’t live here anymore. He has moved up north to be closer to his children. In his mediation, he did win more visitation time with his kids. His wife agreed to that but other than that, they could not agree to anything else. They will have to go to court.

I agree with all of you, we are going to stay out of this divorce case! It looks like it will be ugly and we don’t need to get in the middle of that.

 

[FiberZilla]

As far as what some of you wrote about him going to a non-denonminational church for help, it was the only program available in our area for sexual addiction. This man goes to weekly confessions and daily Mass. He also has a priest as a spiritual director who is helping him with this problem as well. So he is seeing people for his problem spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. He is really trying to beat this addiction that he has had for 33 years.

Most men struggle with this to one degree or another. Some of them who are in a deep stronghold to this sin take it into their elderly years and subsequently to the grave. There is nothing… no rituals etc, that us human beings can do to break the grip of sexual sin.

These chains will fall off if he comes to the realization that Christ has already paid the ENTIRE fine for his sins. Those who are trapped in the “ritual-sin-guilt-ritual” cycle are like the formerly wounded lion who has been set free but doesn’t realize that the cage door has been opened!

Obedience to God’s holy commands can only come through the purest form of love, not the fear of condemnation. Salvation doesn’t come through our own effort to “clean up” our act. Only a broken man who has been shattered into a million pieces can be saved.

*"Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

"Blessed are they
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man
whose sin the Lord will never count against him. (Romans 4:4-8)

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1)*