Would you marry a chaste Bisexual who only acts on his/her opposite sex attractions?

[Paul_DeMers]

We are all sinners.

Now that that is out of the way… It is a decision the individual would have to make. Are they strong enough to be that “rock” for the other?

For me, it would entirely depend on whether or not the other person viewed homosexuality as a sin.

 

[Nate13]

You’re conflating two different sets of categories: sexual orientation and gender identity. The former is what sex(es) you’re attracted to. The latter is what sex you feel you are (or ought to be).

They are in no way equivalent. A person who is attracted to members of both sexes is not in the slightest bit more or less likely to question their gender identity than a heterosexual is.

Uh go look up the definition of bisexual at multiple online dictionaries. Almost all of them have both definitions I put forward for bisexual listed. Some of them even regard bisexual and hermaphroditic as almost one in the same in the sense that a person displays characteristics of both sexes.

Now I really don’t care if you buy into this definition, but my point is you should not assume everyone thinks of the same thing when you say “bisexual”.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I think what people are trying to get across is that they would not marry someone who thought they were bisexual because that belief in an of itself would be a signal of their mindset. I won’t speak for them, but I assume if you used better word choice in the question they would then agree. For example:

“Would you marry someone who had homosexual inclinations as well as heterosexual inclinations, but lived a chaste life in full communion with the Catholic Church?”

I believe if the question was worded as such almost everyone would say yes.

No, I would still say “No thank you.” I believe that SSA is not a good thing in a marriage.

 

[kelvinf]

No, I would still say “No thank you.” I believe that SSA is not a good thing in a marriage.

I understand it’s your opinion which also means that you would do everything in your power to prevent any of your friends or loved ones with SSA from ever getting married to a heterosexual.

 

[Benadam]

Of course it depends on the character of the person and the intensity of same sex attraction they experience. I would expect ssa to scandalize the sufferer more than attraction to the opposite sex so the person’s ability to remain obedient to the vows becomes a valid concern. No two ways about it, a person with ssa is challenged in ways others aren’t in regards of being a faithfull spouse.

This in no way means that a person with ssa can’t enter into and meet the challenges of holy matrimony it just means there are obstructions that require attention that do not exist for other couples.

In the end a person who will not engage in sex before marriage is a person I would feel secure with, ssa or not, because I would be with someone who would not have sex outside of marriage.

 

[Luvtosew]

I kept thinking about this and well I’ll have to change my answer that if I knew someone was bisexual when we met, no matter how chaste he was, I do not believe I would consider him a marriage candidate for me.

 

[centurionguard]

No, I would still say “No thank you.” I believe that SSA is not a good thing in a marriage.

Totally Agree. There are three ways a person sins by Thought, Word, and Deed

If I have a married spouse I want such a spouse devoted to me and I to her 200%.
If a spouse is Bi-Sexual whats to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with the opposite sex. That’s not true devoted love. No human is perfect no matter how faithful they are to their spouse. I would see it as an obstacle in a true marriage blessed by God where Husband and Wife are joined not just in Body but fully in Mind and Spirit being not two distinct entities but being One in Body, One in Mind and One in Spirit.

When a married couple can’t fulfill such commitment of being totally ONE in each other there is a problem in that marriage. IMHO if I were a priest I’d recommend against such a proposal of marriage on mental psycho-sexual grounds with any person with bi-sexual inclinations.

Look at the difficulty the Church is having trying to weed out priests with homosexual inclinations. It applies the same way to the sacrament of marriage.

 

[Benadam]

Totally Agree. There are three ways a person sins by Thought, Word, and Deed

If I have a married spouse I want such a spouse devoted to me and I to her 200%.
If a spouse is Bi-Sexual whats to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with the opposite sex. That’s not true devoted love. No human is perfect no matter how faithful they are to their spouse. I would see it as an obstacle in a true marriage blessed by God where Husband and Wife are joined not just in Body but fully in Mind and Spirit being not two distinct entities but being One in Body, One in Mind and One in Spirit.

When a married couple can’t fulfill such commitment of being totally ONE in each other there is a problem in that marriage. IMHO if I were a priest I’d recommend against such a proposal of marriage on mental psycho-sexual grounds with any person with bi-sexual inclinations.

Look at the difficulty the Church is having trying to weed out priests with homosexual inclinations. It applies the same way to the sacrament of marriage.

It is natural for love to grow and the bond to strengthen as the couple witnesses and support each other in trials. Committed to their vows and the sanctity of their shared state they are enabled to increasingly give themselves to the other without self interest. The Priests suffering with ssa entered an environment so scandalous to them that those who indulged their ssa call it a field of opportunity.

To enter the state of matrimony is to enter an environment with less temptation not more.

I would think the spouse who is not suffering ssa would grow that much more in love witnessing them overcome temptations. A true devotion to a shared state of sanctity with the opposite sex fosters egoless love able to push a mild ssa into a forgotten past.The Sacrament of Marriage is a ministry of healing between the sexes and to exclude certain people because of the false notion that matured matrimonial love is a prerequisite rather than a consequence of the matrimonial state is like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

 

[centurionguard]

It is natural for love to grow and the bond to strengthen as the couple witnesses and support each other in trials. Committed to their vows and the sanctity of their shared state they are enabled to increasingly give themselves to the other without self interest. The Priests suffering with ssa entered an environment so scandalous to them that those who indulged their ssa call it a field of opportunity.

To enter the state of matrimony is to enter an environment with less temptation not more.

I would think the spouse who is not suffering ssa would grow that much more in love witnessing them overcome temptations. A true devotion to a shared state of sanctity with the opposite sex fosters egoless love able to push a mild ssa into a forgotten past.The Sacrament of Marriage is a ministry of healing between the sexes and to exclude certain people because of the false notion that matured matrimonial love is a prerequisite rather than a consequence of the matrimonial state is like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

**To enter the state of matrimony is to enter an environment with less temptation not more. **

Naturally what your saying would normally be true. However; I’m not so sure there’s evidence to fully support what you say here.
Given the (“massively huge”) infidelity seen in Catholic marriages that end up in divorce or annulments seems to bring some credibility to what I stated in my last post.

In my previous post I made a typo error.

If a spouse is Bi-Sexual whats to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with the opposite sex

I meant to say same-sex.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Totally Agree. There are three ways a person sins by Thought, Word, and Deed

If I have a married spouse I want such a spouse devoted to me and I to her 200%.
If a spouse is Bi-Sexual whats to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with the opposite sex. That’s not true devoted love. No human is perfect no matter how faithful they are to their spouse. I would see it as an obstacle in a true marriage blessed by God where Husband and Wife are joined not just in Body but fully in Mind and Spirit being not two distinct entities but being One in Body, One in Mind and One in Spirit.

When a married couple can’t fulfill such commitment of being totally ONE in each other there is a problem in that marriage. IMHO if I were a priest I’d recommend against such a proposal of marriage on mental psycho-sexual grounds with any person with bi-sexual inclinations.

Look at the difficulty the Church is having trying to weed out priests with homosexual inclinations. It applies the same way to the sacrament of marriage.

From a historical theological perspective marriage is where a man and a woman become one in flesh, if you tried to explain that a true marriage is where a man and a woman become one in body, mind and spirit to a theologian of the Middle Agesthey’d wonder where you got such an absurd notion from. Now if you wanted two know if two men could deeply love each other to the point of becoming one in heart, mind and perhaps even spirit they’d of course answer a profound yes and point you towards Jonathan and David, of course understanding the relationship between Becket and More as an example (please forgive the anachronism).

 

[Benadam]

Naturally what your saying would normally be true. However; I’m not so sure there’s evidence to fully support what you say here.
Given the (“massively huge”) infidelity seen in Catholic marriages that end up in divorce or annulments seems to bring some credibility to what I stated in my last post.

In my previous post I made a typo error.
I meant to say same-sex.

Dear centurionguard, I see your point. There is a lake of dirty water in the tub with the baby.

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

Uh go look up the definition of bisexual at multiple online dictionaries. Almost all of them have both definitions I put forward for bisexual listed. Some of them even regard bisexual and hermaphroditic as almost one in the same in the sense that a person displays characteristics of both sexes.

Now I really don’t care if you buy into this definition, but my point is you should not assume everyone thinks of the same thing when you say “bisexual”.

Excuse me:

The other dictionary definition listed is something like, “combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.”

Hermaphrodites are clearly out of the purview of this thread, whose context is self-evidently people with both predominant opposite-sex and same-sex attraction. No one here was talking about hermaphrodites. That’s a different matter entirely.

So let me reiterate what I said before: bisexuality as a sexual orientation doesn’t necessarily have any bearing on gender identity. Show some dignity and accept the correction, Nate.

If a spouse is Bi-Sexual whats to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with the same sex.

If a spouse is heterosexual, what’s to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with other people of the opposite sex?

 

[nickybr38]

I’m really surprised by some of the answers here.

Someone said you can sin in thought, word and deed.

But haven’t hetereosexual people sinned in thought by sexualizing someone who is not their spouse? Would you discount this person as a potential spouse?

Someone who identifies as bisexual might be someone who simply accepts that they have had attraction toward the same sex at some point in their life. Does this mean they’ll act on that feeling? Does this mean they’ll spend all their time fantasizing? Does this mean they couldn’t be an excellent, loyal spouse?

I don’t know… I just see things on this thread that make me a bit sad.

 

[nickybr38]

If a spouse is heterosexual, what’s to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with other people of the opposite sex?

This. Plus two.

 

[centurionguard]

If a spouse is heterosexual, what’s to stop that spouse from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with other people of the opposite sex?

Nothing to stop any heterosexual from fantasizing about sexual inclinations with people of the opposite sex. Depending how far they take entertaining their thoughts about lusting about sex with the opposite sex could easily be viewed as Sin.

Lust is lust.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I can’t even imagine my husband being sexually attracted to men.
My answer is absolutely no way. It is important to me that my husband is attracted to me because I am a woman, with all my attributes.

 

[JoArtist]

I am a chaste bisexual so yes I would. I am glad my husband didn’t hold my bisexuality against me.