Would you marry a chaste Bisexual who only acts on his/her opposite sex attractions?

[kelvinf]

To all those who voted–Sure why not…

Can you be happy knowing that they want someone of their same sex even though they are not acting on it?

If you say that they don’t act and don’t want than that negates them being bisexual.

Can you be happy knowing that your spouse or let’s say your neighbour is tempted to…(whatever)… but doesn’t act on it?

There is a difference between a temptation and a sin. I’m sure we all face different kinds of temptations.

 

[Flyingg]

Yes!! also I think I have no problem in marrying a homosexual too even that I’m not a homosexual or bisexual (as far as I know)

But never mind what I posted, since I’m not sure (still undecided)… but for the OP yes why not?

 

[Nelka]

Can you be happy knowing that your spouse or let’s say your neighbour is tempted to…(whatever)… but doesn’t act on it?

There is a difference between a temptation and a sin. I’m sure we all face different kinds of temptations.

I couldn’t imagine my wife feeling sexually attracted to women.

I would always wonder whether she would rather be with a woman than me as any bisexual will lean in one direction more than the other, they won’t all be exactly 50/50.

Could you imagine your husband/wife being tempted by bestiality as long as they don’t act on it?

What about murder?

 

[kelvinf]

I couldn’t imagine my wife feeling sexually attracted to women.

I would always wonder whether she would rather be with a woman than me as any bisexual will lean in one direction more than the other, they won’t all be exactly 50/50.

Could you imagine your husband/wife being tempted by bestiality as long as they don’t act on it?

What about murder?

A poster already pointed out that heterosexual couples are not exempted from chastity. A good example is NFP. Some couples do struggle during the period of abstinence. Would a spouse regret marrying someone who is tempted during this period but never acts on it?

 

[Gethsemane]

At this point in time, I’d feel uncomfortable. I’ve conquered and can trust a lad for cheating with the opposite sex and would even forgive him if he cheated.

But if he was bisexual, I don’t know. If he cheated with another dude I’d probably divorce him on grounds that I’m not good enough. It’d depend. If he was strong and tradtional I could be able to do it. I’d worry about my kids. They need a strong father figure - healthy masculinity- to develope properly.

I apologise as I’ve probably offended some. This is a sensitive topic, but then I didn’t have to respond.

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

To all those who voted–Sure why not…

Can you be happy knowing that they want someone of their same sex even though they are not acting on it?

Can you be happy knowing that your spouse may find another person of their opposite sex - someone who’s not you - attractive, even though they are not acting on it?

If not, then I guess you’ll never get married.

If so, the question you posed is hypocritical.

I couldn’t imagine my wife feeling sexually attracted to women.

I would always wonder whether she would rather be with a woman than me as any bisexual will lean in one direction more than the other, they won’t all be exactly 50/50.

If you don’t trust the lady in question on whether she does lean more toward you, then you shouldn’t marry her.

If you do trust her on that matter, then your question is pointless.

 

[Nelka]

Can you be happy knowing that your spouse may find another person of their opposite sex - someone who’s not you - attractive, even though they are not acting on it?

If not, then I guess you’ll never get married.

If so, the question you posed is hypocritical.

Matthew 5:28 But I say this to you, if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Even without acting on it they are committing a mortal sin.

Would you be happy with this?

And you cannot say that nobody ever falls into their temptations because we do.

I know that my wife would never have these toughts as she sees them as abhorrent but if she did she would pray and go to confession until they have been removed, she would not allow them to continue because they are just thoughts.

I don’t know why you call me a hypocrite, I don’t think about men sexually and this is what we are talking about, not finding someone attractive but sexually attractive.

I can see that a man is handsome or ugly without sexual feelings getting in the way.

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

Matthew 5:28 But I say this to you, if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Even without acting on it they are committing a mortal sin.

I wasn’t referring to lustful thoughts or impure thoughts. I was referring to feeling sexual attraction toward someone.

I don’t know why you call me a hypocrite, I don’t think about men sexually and this is what we are talking about, not finding someone attractive but sexually attractive.

I don’t think you’re a hypocrite, Nelka, and I didn’t mean to call you one. Rather, I think what is hypocritical is to harbor discomfort with the notion of one’s spouse experiencing same-sex attractions even though he or she is not acting on them (either physically or in his or her heart), when one does not harbor discomfort with the notion of one’s spouse experiencing un-acted upon sexual attraction to opposite-sex individuals. That unjustly holds those who have same-sex attraction to a higher ethical standard than that to which we hold heterosexuals.

The fact is, when your spouse marries you, she commits to being sexually exclusive to you - no acts with anyone else, no willful entertainment of sexual thoughts about anyone else.

But obviously she will continue to find other persons sexually attractive on an instinctive level; hopefully, if she is virtuous, she will never act on those attractions either physically or mentally.

If she doesn’t act on them, it shouldn’t matter whether they happen to be for opposite-sex or same-sex individuals. And if she does act on them, it’s problematic no matter the sex of her adultery-partner.

 

[Nelka]

I wasn’t referring to lustful thoughts or impure thoughts. I was referring to feeling sexual attraction toward someone.

sexual attraction
noun
attractiveness on the basis of sexual desire
dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexual+attraction

I don’t think you’re a hypocrite, Nelka, and I didn’t mean to call you one.

Thank You.

:hug1:

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

sexual attraction
noun
attractiveness on the basis of sexual desire
dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexual+attraction

So? What did you want to convey by offering this definition?

 

[passer_by]

Would you marry a bisexual who lives a heterosexual lifestyle, who will never cheat on you, has opposite sex attractions and doesn’t act on his/her same-sex attractions?

I think the first thing to realize is that there is no such thing called bisexual. At best one can say that they are attracted to their same sex as well. But that is just a result of temptation or a psychological condition that has been allowed to grow.

So you are asking the wrong question here since you are presupposing the existence of some intermediate sexual identity called Bisexual. There are only two sexes. Male and Female.

The question you should be asking is “Should I marry someone who admits to having same sex attractions as well?”

Then the answer is really personal preference. If you feel that you can accept that weakness in that person, do everything you can to help him/her avoid falling in to that sin, and that person is willing to try their best to not follow their inclinations as well, then it would be good. Otherwise most likely not.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

It is NOT the same when you are cheated on with someone of the same sex as your spouse. It’s just not the same, not in any way.

No, I would not marry someone who identified in any way as anything other than heterosexual. And I would do everything in my power to make sure it never happened to any of my friends or loved ones.

 

[kelvinf]

It is NOT the same when you are cheated on with someone of the same sex as your spouse. It’s just not the same, not in any way.

Of course it’s not the same since in one case the cheating is with a same sex person and in the other case it’s with someone of the opposite sex. But it all boils down to the fact that a sin with equal magnitude in the eyes of God was committed in both cases.

No, I would not marry someone who identified in any way as anything other than heterosexual. And I would do everything in my power to make sure it never happened to any of my friends or loved ones.

So in your world bisexuals shouldn’t marry? That’s what you mean right?

 

[Nate13]

So in your world bisexuals shouldn’t marry? That’s what you mean right?

I think what people are trying to get across is that they would not marry someone who thought they were bisexual because that belief in an of itself would be a signal of their mindset. I won’t speak for them, but I assume if you used better word choice in the question they would then agree. For example:

“Would you marry someone who had homosexual inclinations as well as heterosexual inclinations, but lived a chaste life in full communion with the Catholic Church?”

I believe if the question was worded as such almost everyone would say yes.

 

[kelvinf]

I think what people are trying to get across is that they would not marry someone who thought they were bisexual because that belief in an of itself would be a signal of their mindset. I won’t speak for them, but I assume if you used better word choice in the question they would then agree. For example:

"Would you marry someone who had homosexual inclinations as well as heterosexual inclinations, but lived a chaste life in full communion with the Catholic Church?"

I believe if the question was worded as such almost everyone would say yes.

I believe your wording of the question is exactly what the OP is asking. The use of bisexual just makes it shorter.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

The person would have to avoid identifying publically as a bisexual for me to consider marriage. Not that I’m necessarily afraid of identity disclosure but such a public revelation can be construed as endorsing a bisexual lifestyle.

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

I believe your wording of the question is exactly what the OP is asking. The use of bisexual just makes it shorter.

Precisely.

To treat the word “bisexual” as though it somehow makes sexual orientation into one’s core identity is immensely unjust and reactionary. It needn’t signal that at all.

 

[cheerio_ninja]

I have some attractions to the same sex, but am mostly attracted to the opposite sex. I have never acted on these inclinations. I hope to marry and have children someday. These attractions do not make me more likely to cheat than someone who is only attracted to the opposite sex.

 

[Nate13]

I believe your wording of the question is exactly what the OP is asking. The use of bisexual just makes it shorter.

Eh some people will read more into it and “bisexual” means more to them than it does to you. Bisexual could simply just mean has feelings for both sexes or it could mean someone who personally relates with both sexes. In that way someone may balk at the idea of marrying someone who considers themselves “bisexual”. Would you want to marry someone who questioned whether they were really a man or a woman?

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

In that way someone may balk at the idea of marrying someone who considers themselves “bisexual”. Would you want to marry someone who questioned whether they were really a man or a woman?

You’re conflating two different sets of categories: sexual orientation and gender identity. The former is what sex(es) you’re attracted to. The latter is what sex you feel you are (or ought to be).

They are in no way equivalent. A person who is attracted to members of both sexes is not in the slightest bit more or less likely to question their gender identity than a heterosexual is.