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LibralAteoJesus
Guest
My conditions for marrying a believer are almost the same for marrying a non believer which are irrelevant to religion.
Would you marry a non-believer?
Would you marry a non-believer?
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dshix
Guest
No. My reason is this.
Marriage is the most intimate union which a man and a woman can possibly enter into with each other, not only physically, but also emotionally, socially, and intellectually.
When/if I marry, I will wish to be able to share my deepest, most important thoughts, desires, intentions, and interests with the person I love, the person I am married to. Since the most valuable thing I possess is my faith, and it is ultimately the most important thing I have, if I were unable to share this single most important thing with my spouse, the one with which I should be able to share mind, heart, and body, it would allow for, at best, an imperfect marriage, and at worst, an estranged, conflicted, and ultimately divorced marriage.
Furthermore, when you can share something so fundamental with your spouse, all other conflicts and difficulties can be set aside. We may have disagreements, or, worse, fights, but ultimately if we share a vibrant love for our faith it will be much, much easier to not only avoid disagreements and fights altogether, but step up our unity to a level which allows us to be on the same page at all times.
My faith is the most important thing in the world to me; if I can share that with my spouse, that will lead to a very happy marriage.
Marriage is the most intimate union which a man and a woman can possibly enter into with each other, not only physically, but also emotionally, socially, and intellectually.
When/if I marry, I will wish to be able to share my deepest, most important thoughts, desires, intentions, and interests with the person I love, the person I am married to. Since the most valuable thing I possess is my faith, and it is ultimately the most important thing I have, if I were unable to share this single most important thing with my spouse, the one with which I should be able to share mind, heart, and body, it would allow for, at best, an imperfect marriage, and at worst, an estranged, conflicted, and ultimately divorced marriage.
Furthermore, when you can share something so fundamental with your spouse, all other conflicts and difficulties can be set aside. We may have disagreements, or, worse, fights, but ultimately if we share a vibrant love for our faith it will be much, much easier to not only avoid disagreements and fights altogether, but step up our unity to a level which allows us to be on the same page at all times.
My faith is the most important thing in the world to me; if I can share that with my spouse, that will lead to a very happy marriage.
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wcknight
Guest
I did … I would again given the same circumstances… I would not if the situation were different,
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TEPO
Guest
Of course. For me, 1 believer became 6. (Secretly, everyone loves Catholicism they just need a reason to commit)
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PietroPaolo
Guest
I’m glad my wife did.
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DaveBj
Guest
No way, because 1) I have seen the problems that arise in mixed marriages, and 2) the Apostle Paul expressly forbids it in his writings.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
Can a nonbeliever chime in?
When I was younger, I would have dated a religious man. I actually casually dated several religious people and it was never a problem…for dating.
Now that I have met, fallen in love with, and married my husband, who is an atheist, I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have someone who shares my beliefs. But, not only does he share my lack of belief in a higher power, we are extremely compatible on issues of morals and values. When we talk about having kids, dealing with future issues that my arise, or struggle with people who are currently in our lives, it is of extreme value to both be on the same page.
If he died tomorrow and I ever started dating again, I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t marry a devoutly religious person, because as we all know things change when you meet the right person, but I would be very hesitant and I would take things slowly.
From my perspective, it doesn’t seem like the best idea. How do you explain to your kids that one of you devotes your life to god and the other thinks it’s rubbish? How do you pass on your values to your children in a way that honors who both parents are? How do you comfort each other when a relative is sick or dying? For me though, the deepest issue would be marriage. I do not believe that anything should ever come before your spouse. How could I be married to someone and believe wholeheartedly that I must put them first, only to have my husband put me second to a being that I don’t believe exists?
I’ve brought up a lot of issues from the nonbeliever side just to show how many potential problems there can be for both people.
When I was younger, I would have dated a religious man. I actually casually dated several religious people and it was never a problem…for dating.
Now that I have met, fallen in love with, and married my husband, who is an atheist, I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have someone who shares my beliefs. But, not only does he share my lack of belief in a higher power, we are extremely compatible on issues of morals and values. When we talk about having kids, dealing with future issues that my arise, or struggle with people who are currently in our lives, it is of extreme value to both be on the same page.
If he died tomorrow and I ever started dating again, I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t marry a devoutly religious person, because as we all know things change when you meet the right person, but I would be very hesitant and I would take things slowly.
From my perspective, it doesn’t seem like the best idea. How do you explain to your kids that one of you devotes your life to god and the other thinks it’s rubbish? How do you pass on your values to your children in a way that honors who both parents are? How do you comfort each other when a relative is sick or dying? For me though, the deepest issue would be marriage. I do not believe that anything should ever come before your spouse. How could I be married to someone and believe wholeheartedly that I must put them first, only to have my husband put me second to a being that I don’t believe exists?
I’ve brought up a lot of issues from the nonbeliever side just to show how many potential problems there can be for both people.
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dshix
Guest
Yes! Well said. This is exactly why I would be very uncomfortable marrying a non-believer for the same reasons; the inability to share that point of view and the ensuing difficulty in raising children is a serious problem.
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mdgspencer
Guest
No way–I wouldn’t want to add problems to my life.
It is true that with the right person it can be okay. Still, you are putting a serious spiritual barrier between you and the person you marry. And from what I have heard, in the majority of cases the children end with no religious affiliation at all.
It the opening poster means by a non-believer, someone who has no belief in religion, this would be even worse that otherwise. I admire the faith of Protestants I know. But a person without God in their life at all?
It is true that with the right person it can be okay. Still, you are putting a serious spiritual barrier between you and the person you marry. And from what I have heard, in the majority of cases the children end with no religious affiliation at all.
It the opening poster means by a non-believer, someone who has no belief in religion, this would be even worse that otherwise. I admire the faith of Protestants I know. But a person without God in their life at all?
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malkad
Guest
Been there, done that. Without Christ in common or at least a bedrock of faith in God, a marriage isn’t really a marriage.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
That’s not to say that it doesn’t work. There are several regular posters on here who are married to atheists and have very good, happy marriages.
I’ve come to the realization that those posters are probably far more patient and flexible than I am, as are their spouses. I’m sure that it can work for some people, but I know me, and I know that it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to end up in a serious relationship with a man who is serious about his faith, regardless of what his religion is.
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cguerber
Guest
2 Corinthians 6:14-16
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
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tabycat
Guest
It depends on what is ment by a ‘non-believe’. I would not marry someone just to share a pew with on Sunday. If both of us share the same values and morals, maybe yes; if we do not, then maybe no. Of course, I’ve never been married! 
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Ragamuffingirl
Guest
By non-believer do you mean anyone who is not Catholic, or someone who isn’t a Christian. I’m already married, but if I wasn’t - I would never marry someone that I didn’t have compatible religious beliefs with.
My mother married a "born again pagan,’ and she has reaped the fruit of that sin every single day for the last 30+ years.
My husband and I were both in the Society of Friends when we got married. Disgusted with the liberalism that infests our yearly meeting I started looking more closely at Catholicism. It caused problems, and now my husband actively tries to prevent me from going to Mass. He didn’t mind it so much when I kept it to myself, but when I started talking about it - he didn’t like that so much.
My mother married a "born again pagan,’ and she has reaped the fruit of that sin every single day for the last 30+ years.
My husband and I were both in the Society of Friends when we got married. Disgusted with the liberalism that infests our yearly meeting I started looking more closely at Catholicism. It caused problems, and now my husband actively tries to prevent me from going to Mass. He didn’t mind it so much when I kept it to myself, but when I started talking about it - he didn’t like that so much.
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rfournier103
Guest
Absolutely not.
Especially when it comes to children, raising them, and what to tell them.
Also, almost all Christians agree on what happens to a non-believer in the afterlife. Knowing what fate would await my wife when she passed would be too much for me. I know we’re all big boys and girls, and we all make our own decisions; but I couldn’t be part of that.
Especially when it comes to children, raising them, and what to tell them.
Also, almost all Christians agree on what happens to a non-believer in the afterlife. Knowing what fate would await my wife when she passed would be too much for me. I know we’re all big boys and girls, and we all make our own decisions; but I couldn’t be part of that.
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St_Francis
Guest
If nothing else, the example of several family members would convince me. Marrying outside their faith has left me one of the very few practicing believers in my extended and closer families. 
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MJJean
Guest
I answered yes because I did marry a non-believer. He had been raised catholic, but left the faith years before I met him and was on the Pagan-Atheist border when we married.
How’s that working out for us? He reverted and I am converting
Before I decided to convert I had no problem with my husband reverting and practicing his faith, though. I believe religiously mixed marriages can work with respect, compassion, understanding, and kindness. Heck, even if I never decided to convert I’d still want my DH to discuss his faith with me and keep me up to date on issues he is struggling over, things he finds comfort in, etc. etc. I’m his wife. I’m supposed to know what is going on with him, care, and help in any way I can.
How’s that working out for us? He reverted and I am converting
Before I decided to convert I had no problem with my husband reverting and practicing his faith, though. I believe religiously mixed marriages can work with respect, compassion, understanding, and kindness. Heck, even if I never decided to convert I’d still want my DH to discuss his faith with me and keep me up to date on issues he is struggling over, things he finds comfort in, etc. etc. I’m his wife. I’m supposed to know what is going on with him, care, and help in any way I can.
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TEPO
Guest
Well, just to clarify, when I met my wife she had a certain ‘respect’ for the Catholic faith and was more than willing to become Catholic before we married. A lot of her friends growing up were catholic -friends she respected. My wife had a yearning for order… She went through RCIA all on her own. Now our 4 children are all baptized practicing Catholics. Not that we’re the best of Catholics, but we’re all firm believers.
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ThinkingSapien
Guest
If a Catholic married a non believer wouldn’t it be considered a non sacramental marriage?
I think it would be important for there to be some common experiences or views for the sake of being able to relate each other. That being said, religion isn’t a a big part of my identity to myself; I don’t much care if my mate has a religion or not so long as fulfilling the requirements (whether self imposed or required by doctrine / practice) don’t cause serious conflicts.
Having a religion in common doesn’t necessarily make two people compatible. Having different religious statuses doesn’t necessarily make people incompatible. Also there seems to be various levels of commitment to a religious status. For some it seems to be a label that keeps them in an in group but doesn’t imply much about the person; following the person around for a day there may be little to no hints of their religion. For some it penetrates every aspect of their lives. If we were talking about polarized people a mixed marriage may not work out so well. But it can work out for some.
Pardon my mistakes. Sent from my mobile device.
I think it would be important for there to be some common experiences or views for the sake of being able to relate each other. That being said, religion isn’t a a big part of my identity to myself; I don’t much care if my mate has a religion or not so long as fulfilling the requirements (whether self imposed or required by doctrine / practice) don’t cause serious conflicts.
Having a religion in common doesn’t necessarily make two people compatible. Having different religious statuses doesn’t necessarily make people incompatible. Also there seems to be various levels of commitment to a religious status. For some it seems to be a label that keeps them in an in group but doesn’t imply much about the person; following the person around for a day there may be little to no hints of their religion. For some it penetrates every aspect of their lives. If we were talking about polarized people a mixed marriage may not work out so well. But it can work out for some.
Pardon my mistakes. Sent from my mobile device.
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oldcelt
Guest
I am very much in love with a believer (Catholic) and it does not seem to affect our relationship in the least. When it comes up usually involves a wedding, and I’m flexible about attending the services.
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