Would you marry a non- believer?

[john330]

My belief in Jesus is the single most important part of my life. I have a goal of serving the community that I live in with a woman of like mind and heart. I don’t think I would be able to continue to do things like feed homeless people for the rest of my life if I don’t marry a girl who is committed enough to Jesus to put up with such an expensive (expensive in many ways) and exhausting ministry.

 

[wcknight]

I married within the Church, I received the sacrament, my wife being non catholic did not. We are both committed to doing charity, that has not ever been a problem for us. Other stuff has but that is a very long story.

 

[polytropos]

I answered “No”. I am not 100% committed to that, but I am close enough that I won’t say, “It depends”.

One of my original motiviations for reconsidering Catholicism was that I opposed abortion but realized that as time went on, it would be harder and harder (though not impossible) to find non-Christians who opposed abortion.

 

[wcknight]

One of my problems is I oppose pro choice my wife and kids are pro choice…plus I oppose gay marriage at least within our faith, they are big into gay rights… Rights yes, marriage no…

We had a very interesting Christmas discussion/argument on Catholic teachings… My kids although raised Catholic have lapsed, but they have gross misinformation about some church doctrines… What constitutes a mortal sin, whether all non Catholics are condemned, papal infallibility… I was surprised that their level of Catholic understanding was grossly deficient in spite having twelve years of Catholic training… Pretty sad… I should have bought them catechisms for Christmas!

 

[maryjk]

I *did *marry a non-believer. But at the time I wasn’t practicing my faith.

Would I do it now? Of course not, I am already married. I can’t get married again.

 

[MJJean]

If a Catholic married a non believer wouldn’t it be considered a non sacramental marriage?

Depends.

Marriage between two Baptized persons is Sacramental assuming there are no impediments to the marriage that would make it invalid. If the non-believer was Baptized at some point in their lives before becoming a non-believer then the marriage would be Sacramental.

Also, if the non-believer decided to get Baptized after the marriage then the marriage would become Sacramental.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

Marriage between two Baptized persons is Sacramental assuming there are no impediments to the marriage that would make it invalid.

So if regardless of whether or not one of the members of a marriage is a Christian if that person has not been baptised (and I am sure that unbaptised Christians may be a rare occurrence, but entertain it for the sake of this question) the marriage would not be sacramental, right?

 

[Protestor]

Other than the bible speaks directly against marrying non-believers. Also married couples as I see it need to share many common goals. My most important goal is to grow closer to God. If that is not the most important thing to my hypothetical wife then we will grow apart eventually. Just my opinion

 

[MJJean]

So if regardless of whether or not one of the members of a marriage is a Christian if that person has not been baptised (and I am sure that unbaptised Christians may be a rare occurrence, but entertain it for the sake of this question) the marriage would not be sacramental, right?

Yup. If you want to make it really interesting, there is also the possibility of someone who is validly Baptized marrying someone who was invalidly Baptized. Baptism has to be done using the Trinitarian formula with proper intent. Some Christian denominations do not do this and therefore their Baptisms are not considered valid. Mormons, for example. If a Mormon married a Catholic the marriage wouldn’t be Sacramental because the Church does not recognize Mormon Baptisms as valid.

 

[tonyrey]

If I weren’t married and loved a woman I would marry her provided that I was convinced we were compatible, she loved me, wanted to marry me and was not antagonistic to Christianity.

 

[adawgj]

No, because I’m discerning priesthood, so I wouldn’t physically marry somebody.

 

[tonyrey]

No, because I’m discerning priesthood, so I wouldn’t physically marry somebody.

I think the OP assumes there is no impediment or reason for not getting married apart from non-belief.

 

[KimberlyCat]

No. Marriage is a Sacrament. I would only be interested in someone with my deep faith and love for God. And to raise a loving and successful family to be able to to bless them with the joy of Mass and the faith. I can’t even imagine marrying a non-believer. Even if I fell in love with him. I love God more than anyone. He created me and you and the universe. Just my humble opinion.

 

[tonyrey]

No. Marriage is a Sacrament. I would only be interested in someone with my deep faith and love for God. And to raise a loving and successful family to be able to to bless them with the joy of Mass and the faith. I can’t even imagine marrying a non-believer. Even if I fell in love with him. I love God more than anyone. He created me and you and the universe. Just my humble opinion.

You are ruling out the possibility of inspiring a person to become a Catholic - which is very likely if you really love each other. Converts often become more devout than cradle Catholics…

 

[adawgj]

You are ruling out the possibility of inspiring a person to become a Catholic - which is very likely if you really love each other. Converts often become more devout than cradle Catholics…

Very true Ive known many converts who are very devout.

 

[Anne1964]

Just to clarify: a marriage can be valid without being sacramental. If you marry someone who is not baptized, and have the proper dispensation from your bishop, your marriage is valid, but not sacramental. Both parties must be baptized with the Trinitarian formula for the marriage to be sacramental.

I answered No to the question about marrying a non-believe. I did marry a non-baptized person prior to my return to the Church and our marriage was a disaster. My ex-husband was very hostile to my faith and it was the primary cause of our divorce.

I would never marry a non-believer again based on my experience with it.

 

[eltoro89]

I’m a little unsure as to what “unbeliever” means. If you’re referring to an atheist or a non-Trinitarian protestant, no. If you’re talking about someone who isn’t Catholic but is still Christian, maybe. It depends on how much we have in common from a faith standpoint and how easily she’d interface with my (and my future children’s) Catholic lifestyle.

Still hoping for a nice, pious Catholic girl though.

In terms of marrying someone in hope that they will become Christian/Catholic, that’s a very big gamble I’m not sure I’d be willing to take given how irreversible marriage is ‘supposed’ to be. I understand that it does happen and that many of you here have had non-Catholics and atheists convert in part because of your influence and relationship, but for every success story I’ve heard like that, I’ve heard 10 horror stories. I will say, though, that a lot of the horror stories I’ve heard about interfaith/interdenominational marriages come from women whose husbands are either non religious or protestant. With men being the spiritual head of the family, I wonder if we fare better, when the situation is reversed, at keeping a mixed-faith household with Catholic children intact. Still not a gamble I’d be willing to take lightly.

If I were going to marry a non-Catholic (protestant), I’d have to be as certain as possible that we could be happy and that our kids faith would be strong even if she never entered the full communion of the church.

 

[Skadi]

Hope no one minds if a non beleaver leaves an answer.

Personally I don’t care what my future wife’s religion is so long as the following conditions are met.

1. She does not belittle or insult my religion.
2. She does not attempt to convert me to their religion.
3. I’m fine with having the wedding in the tradition of my future wife’s religion if she insists, but she must be willing to do atleast a small ceremony in my religions tradition.
4. She will not attempt to force our children into her religious beliefs. I want my children to be free to chose a religion based on their own study and belief rather than be raised dogmatically and go through life with closed minds. She can certainly teach them about her faith, but I won’t let someone program my children to believe a specific religion.

Obviously marrying a person of your own faith eliminates many potential problems. But my own religion has no divine mandate against it, and my grandparents had a very successful Catholic-Lutheran marriage. My great Grandfather who grew up in the Catholic stronghold of southern Germany hated Catholics because of his experiences with Nuns both in school and in a POW camp in France. That didn’t stop him from marrying a catholic woman and having several catholic children. I think interfaith marraiges are certainly possible.

 

[tonyrey]

Just to clarify: a marriage can be valid without being sacramental. If you marry someone who is not baptized, and have the proper dispensation from your bishop, your marriage is valid, but not sacramental. Both parties must be baptized with the Trinitarian formula for the marriage to be sacramental.

I answered No to the question about marrying a non-believe. I did marry a non-baptized person prior to my return to the Church and our marriage was a disaster. My ex-husband was very hostile to my faith and it was the primary cause of our divorce.

I would never marry a non-believer again based on my experience with it.

I sympathise with you and your decision is understandable but another man might have become a good Catholic.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

Just to clarify: a marriage can be valid without being sacramental. If you marry someone who is not baptized, and have the proper dispensation from your bishop, your marriage is valid, but not sacramental. Both parties must be baptized with the Trinitarian formula for the marriage to be sacramental.

Thnx for the information. So if I’m understanding correctly valid non-sacramental marriages are either Civil Marriages or Christian Marriages. A marriage between a Catholic and some one that is at least properly baptized (Catholic or not) is a Sacramental Marriage.

Once again, Thanks for the info.

I answered No to the question about marrying a non-believe. I did marry a non-baptized person prior to my return to the Church and our marriage was a disaster. My ex-husband was very hostile to my faith and it was the primary cause of our divorce.

I would never marry a non-believer again based on my experience with it.

Sorry to hear about that your ex-husband was so hostile towards your faith.