Would you marry a non-catholic?

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Love DOES NOT conquer all. Don’t fool yourself.

Stress free interfaith marriages are the exception, not the rule. I know many interfaith couples who have said “I love my spouse dearly, but if i had it to do over again, I’d marry a Catholic only.”
 
When I was in college, I dated exclusively non-Catholic guys, especially when I wasn’t Catholic. When I became Catholic, I just didn’t see the “big deal” with dating someone of another faith and dated a Jewish guy. I couldn’t explain Christmas in a way that he could understand. I couldn’t make him know the importance of Easter to me.

It brought me great saddness, and I finally came around to the understanding that I needed to marry a man with whom I could share the entirety of the Catholic faith and my relationship with Jesus. I needed someone who would pray for me, want what’s best (what God wants) for me and help get me to heaven (it’s no easy task).

Luckily I met an incredibly faithful Catholic man who is now the spiritual head of our household. Some of my favorite memories our friendship that became a romantic relationship are the countless times we encountered each other at daily Mass. I loved worshipping God beside him and still do.
 
I am married to a non-Catholic (21 years and 4 children). I believe it was a blessing from God. He was raised Christian Science ( an oxymoron) and his father is Presbyterian. Yes, the family was and still is anti-Catholic. " You know she’s Irish- Catholic and they’re rabbits," was the response to our announcing our engagement. We were married in a Mass and the officiating priest was wonderful and so inviting to us as a couple. My husband and I promised to bring our children up in the Faith. We have kept that vow. Through prayer, study of the bible and most importantly by the Grace of God. My husband is pro-life. Prior to the birth of our first child he was as he tells every one “pro-abortion”. He has taken RICA, but has not yet converted. He defends the Faith far better than I at times and has helped me to become more inquisitive and to experience our Faith more fully. I think of our marriage as an evangelization of sorts. Remember we are all one church. Also you can marry a Catholic who never lives the Faith…
 
Afer reading all the responses I have changed my way of thinking. All the beautiful conversion stories! Think of the Graces you put to good use-how happy our Dear Lord must be with you. That is really bringing out the best in your spouse! 👍
 
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adrienned:
Also you can marry a Catholic who never lives the Faith…
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I don’t think anyone on this thread is advocating marrying a non-practicing Catholic. When I speak about Catholics, I mean those that live their faith, not those who are Catholic in name only.

So, to clarify, I would only marry a practicing, orthodox Catholic.
 
I think it is the greatest of blessings to marry someone who is a devout practicing Roman Catholic too. But, I also believe that through God’s grace my heart was opened up to someone outside the Faith. And that grace will also lead my husband back home.
 
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Della:
No I wouldn’t. Because it wouldn’t be worth the headaches and the heartaches. Marriage is hard enough without beginning with such a handicap.
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AMEN TO THAT SISTER!!!
My wife married a non-Catholic. What was she thinking? The jerk pulled her out of the Church so fast your head could spin. She would wait until he went on a business trip to sneek back to Mass. This went on for 9 years. He did allow her to Baptize the children Catholic.

That was until I converted …

WOW, I am truly blessed to have such a good wife.
 
I hope to marry an orthodox Catholic man, but interfaith marriages are very common in my part of Louisiana. Yes, I would marry a non-Catholic. My mother did 40 years ago and she and my father’s marriage is a beautiful example of an interfaith marriage. They do not attend each other’s church, other than for baptisms, weddings, First Communions. He agreed to raise my brothers and me Catholic. And in many ways he is more catholic than he realizes. There are times my mother wishes my father would convert, but there is no bitterness or regrets. My mother has never driven in her life, but my father has seen to it that she (and we as children) got to Mass every Sunday, Holy Day, etc.
 
I used to not care…but then I learned how much my faith meant to me, and I realized how desperately I want to share that with someone. I want to have someone who not only totally and completely supports me, but completes, supplements, enriches me…when I come out of Adoration or Confession or Communion, I want to be able to share that joy with my companion, not explain it to them and try to put into words what it means to me. I want someone who understands that joy, who doesn’t need me to tell them about it, because the light in our eyes and the feeling in our hearts will be the same and no words will be needed. Of course, I have a long way to go, and I may learn something else about my faith that will alter my opinion somehow…but right now, I fully intend to date within the Church…if God shows me otherwise, then I’ll gladly follow, but who knows:)
 
I did–35 years ago. Since then she has converted, her sister converted, and 2 of her sister’s children married catholics and also converted.
👍
 
I, too, married a non-Catholic man. He converted to Catholicism two years into our marriage, and is a rock–I just love the man!!!

However, I will say this–he was not a member of any other denomination, and had no problem with me practicing my faith or promising to raise our children as Catholics. I don’t know that I would have married him if he had been a strict believer in another denomination. I think that would have been a real problem for us, as I couldn’t compromise with our children being raised in the Catholic faith for anything.

Bottom line, I believe that God wanted us to be together, as He obviously drew my husband to Himself through the marriage. And 31 years later there are all these precious little Catholic grandbabies running around!!!
 
I also married a non-Catholic. Well, I guess the Catholic Church still claims him, he was baptised Catholic. His mother went to Catholic school. But, until he met me, he hadn’t been to Mass since he was three. So I call him non-Catholic. On November 27, it will be 14 years for us. So yes, I would marry a non-Catholic. My non-Catholic is the most incredible person I know. He is the most kind, considerate, and understanding man I know.
 
I’d marry a non Catholic only if she agreed to lie to our children and pretend to be one. Then it would be fine.

Being a bachelor in Heaven would probably be interesting, but I know God would have to forgive my wife for not being Catholic beecause anybody I would marry would be such a selfless, giving person it wouldn’t matter, at least I hope.

And I’d really rather marry a catholic, but the heart wants what the heart wants. 👍
 
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theNOSPILLzone:
I’d marry a non Catholic only if she agreed to lie to our children and pretend to be one. Then it would be fine.

Being a bachelor in Heaven would probably be interesting, but I know God would have to forgive my wife for not being Catholic beecause anybody I would marry would be such a selfless, giving person it wouldn’t matter, at least I hope.

And I’d really rather marry a catholic, but the heart wants what the heart wants. 👍
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You would want your wife to lie to your children? Are you being serious?

Anyway…I married a non-Catholic, albeit before I “reverted”…he is now in RCIA and is developing quite a respect and love of the church. If I hadn’t married him, he says he would still be in non-denominational land. 😃 So you never know the influence you might have on this person that isn’t Catholic yet but may be some day. I certainly didn’t think he would take to the church so well. Of course this isn’t true in every case but…I think sometimes God brings certain people together for a reason 👍
 
Nope, Catholicism is too important to me and I don’t want any disagreements over religion when raising children. There are just some things I won’t compromise on and this is one of them.

Eamon
 
NO! Catholicism is close to my heart and I wanted a spouse I could share that with!
 
Here’s a thread I started a while ago in Family Life asking basically the same question.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=83618

All these people saying they did marry a non-Catholic and then it turned out good in the end… thats fine for you now but you know, we Catholics always say “the ends don’t justify the means.” Of course, this isn’t a question of morality, but we can use the same idea. If it’s not a good idea to start a relationship with a non-Catholic, then it’s not going to become a good idea just because it worked out well in the end for some other people here.

As for the question about non-practicing Catholics, well you’ve really got to know why they are non-practicing or non-orthodox or whatever, then you have some idea as to whether they can change. If they believe that the Church is wrong or corrupt or whatever then they’re as bad as a non-Catholic, don’t bother with them. On the other hand, it might be that their parents weren’t that strong Catholics or something, but then they are still ‘mouldable’ and would still be open to your good influence to become stronger in their faith.

So yea, I wouldn’t marry a non-Catholic, but a non-practicing I might consider.
 
Here are some thoughts from a(2004-2005) convert too(a newbie):

God is the Divine artist, who knows how he uses his brush. We are not the Judges as scripture tells us, for how you may measure may be the same used upon you, none of us are current day saints (it seems). We have free will and can therefore make right or wrong decisions, who is able to judge all of us that is not a divine person? Did Jesus not interact with undesirable looking folks in that culture and gentiles, Sumaritains, Lepers, demonic persons, prostitutes, tax collectors…his bride(The Church) does accept them all and plenty were at one time non-catholics. Catholic translation of word is ‘universal’ church, welcomed anybody and still will. Also, a number of converts are now catholics and bringing in some more newbies, is this not the epic poem written by God.

Yes it would be extra nice if your chosen spouse were Catholic and I understand that, what a plus. We are not the artist and not worthy to judge all, we have free will and free thought and opinion and we know who to thank. If you have your faith intact that is commendable, if you can evangelize someone else you are doing works. It is said catholics do not walk by faith alone, it is the combination of faith and works. What could be greater than a helping loving soul to help guide a lost lamb unto the fathers arms. I see both sides of this issue I see greatness and virtue possible within both points of view. God love us all
 
I somewhat agree with NO Spill. I don’t agree with the lie part, but about the acting like a Catholic. That was my requirement before we would even talk about marriage. He had to show me by attending Mass on Sunday and holydays. I’ll have to say he was pretty good at the actions. He always made sure he found the Catholic Church when we were on vacation. As for raising the children, he knew that was a given. He is a good man and father.

But here is the problem. It isn’t in the actions, but in the way the mind has been trained to think in a Catholic way. It is in ways we can’t even imagine until we are up against the differences.

As for God’s plan, maybe this was it and it is just another form of suffering for me. Maybe I’ll get a pat on the back for his conversion when I get to heaven. But I was truly ignorant of what marrying a non-Catholic meant and I thought we had covered all the bases before we married because we talked about it endlessly. I never thought I would feel this way ever about my spouse. I’m not saying he isn’t a good man to marry. I’m just saying it is so hard in ways I never imagined.
 
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