Would you marry if you could not have children?

[KendraDZ1902]

I could have been infertile before marriage. I don’t know. I do know that I was told that it would be near impossible to reproduce and my husband hasn’t made a big deal out of it. He loves me and knows that it is out of our control. I don’t think infertility is grounds for divorce or annulment.

 

[DarkLight]

It’s an interesting topic.

As a convert one of the first things you get is how Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage or even most protestant marriages. And that difference is in the openness to life and being oriented to producing children and all that.

But when you add in the idea of infertility, especially something that’s known before the marriage…what’s the real difference? Calling a marriage open to life when there’s no possibility of children is just silly, I think. I at the very least would have no idea what that meant; it’s kind of like asking if I would be open to suddenly waking up as a different race than what I was born as. I mean, you could talk about it, but…it’s just so different to think about that I’m not sure I could give any sort of coherent answer.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

It’s an interesting topic.

As a convert one of the first things you get is how Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage or even most protestant marriages. And that difference is in the openness to life and being oriented to producing children and all that.

But when you add in the idea of infertility, especially something that’s known before the marriage…what’s the real difference? Calling a marriage open to life when there’s no possibility of children is just silly, I think. I at the very least would have no idea what that meant; it’s kind of like asking if I would be open to suddenly waking up as a different race than what I was born as. I mean, you could talk about it, but…it’s just so different to think about that I’m not sure I could give any sort of coherent answer.

I don’t think open to life necessarily means to have to have kids. In no way am I preparing to have children. I understand that when I do have sex with my husband the likelihood of being procreative is basically nonexistent, but if some miracle were to happen I would welcome the child. I wouldn’t abort it.
It isn’t silly to call my marriage open to life, because if life happened, it would be welcomed. Miracles DO happen. God can do much more than what physicians can. Nothing is impossible with God.

 

[EasterJoy]

Just for the record, if my husband had told me prior to marriage that he was believed to be infertile, I’d still have married him, anyway. It isn’t as if any of us can guarantee fertility.

 

[Verne_Collins]

With all honesty, this seems tough. In our society, family is equated as to have children and me being a mother could not imagine living my married life without my beautiful children. But if I would be in this kind of situation, I am uncertain. I love my husband but truthfully, it seems very hard. But if I would still marry him despite all this, the answer is definitely a yes.

 

[His_helpmeet]

I hesitated to reply as I’m not Catholic, but let me give a two-part answer:

1. Of course I would marry if I found a suitable spouse. I may or may not adopt. Depends on the circumstance. I do feel somewhat of a pull towards adopting a daughter from a country, such as China, where many girls are abandoned due to strong cultural preferences for sons.
2. I have seen nothing in Catholic doctrine that states that an infertile person should not marry, or that a married couple is obligated to adopt children if they have no biological ones. So I certainly wouldn’t see infertility as an obstacle to becoming Catholic.

Indeed, an infertile person CAN still marry, as long as they are not opposed to at least the possibility of new life. (Obviously, if a person has had a hysterectomy, that would not be possible. The point is that the purpose of the hysterectomy must not have been to prevent her conceiving.) If a person cannot have intercourse, that person cannot marry because, realistically, all you’re doing is living as roommates. Period. The fundamental physical nature of a marital relationship (i.e. two becoming one flesh) is not a reality.

 

[Elizabeth804]

If my potential husband was okay with it, then of course I would still get married. There’s always the option of adopting a child.

 

[underacloud]

Now comes the question of the woman with a hysterectomy, done for all the right reasons, able to have sex, but not bear children. Will they marry them? I await an answer with interest.

You already answered your own question.

If one of you is infertile, but both able to have sex, they will marry you.