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WhiteDove
Guest
I was reading the other thread and was interested what you would choose if you were raped. If you’re a guy, what would you want for your wife or daughter???
Would you want emergency contraception if you or yours were raped?
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R
renee1258
Guest
If you are going to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. I would probably give it up for adoption, but I would have to first rule out that it wasn’t my husband’s either. I always know if I’m fertile or not, due to cervical mucus observation and if it was a cycle that I was trying to achieve pregnancy that is something I would consider before adoption.
My problem is how do I go after the man who raped me, if I’m consenting to carry his child? How would juries see that? Of course a man would suffer more paying out 18 years of child support plus college (if I kep the child), then if any a few years in jail for rape.
My problem is how do I go after the man who raped me, if I’m consenting to carry his child? How would juries see that? Of course a man would suffer more paying out 18 years of child support plus college (if I kep the child), then if any a few years in jail for rape.
F
Fergal
Guest
Difficult as it may be on human terms, I would provide everything for the growth and safe delivery of the baby if conception occurs. My first impulse would be to place it up for adoption after it is born in order to allow great joy to be given to a couple who may not be able to concieve naturally. See we need to think about how it is possible to bring good even when it seems to be from the pits of despair.
The couple need not know how the child was conceived. It is enough for us to know that the child is really wanted by a loving family.
How many natural conceptions are labelled ‘mistakes’?? How many ‘joyful’ events bring panic and despair? The least we can do is allow the child to grow and come into being. S/he has committed no sin. I would not punish him/her with capital punishment for the sins of its father. Heaven Help.
So at first thought no contraception and most likely adoption followed closely by keeping it at home.
The couple need not know how the child was conceived. It is enough for us to know that the child is really wanted by a loving family.
How many natural conceptions are labelled ‘mistakes’?? How many ‘joyful’ events bring panic and despair? The least we can do is allow the child to grow and come into being. S/he has committed no sin. I would not punish him/her with capital punishment for the sins of its father. Heaven Help.
So at first thought no contraception and most likely adoption followed closely by keeping it at home.
I
Island_Oak
Guest
Tough issue, but I have to say I was gratified by the information in the original thread and the compassion shown by the Church to victimized women. Interesting that this is not something we EVER hear about in the broader media. Agree that is something which more Catholics should be informed about–say for example on college campuses where the date-rape phenomena is sadly not uncommon.
L
Lisa_N
Guest
FWIW apparently there was a ten year study on rapes that documented 10,000 rapes. There were no pregnancies resulting from these rapes. This doesn’t mean there are never pregnancies from rape but it’s a pretty far fetched notion. Unfortunately “rape and incest” are often tossed out as a reason to allow abortion and often in this context…if it happened to YOU or YOUR CHILD what would you do? Thus making the respondent sympathize with the woman and not consider the baby.
Lisa N
Lisa N
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space_ghost
Guest
if you get the person to the hospital fast enough there is no fertilization and no or very, very small chance of becoming pregnant… but there’s more to it than that… early care might prevent certain STD’s, so to deter or not go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital would almost seem negligent…
just my :twocents:
maybe i’m missing the point here?
C
caroljm36
Guest
I’d take the baby! But it ain’t gonna happen–I’m 55. 
A
AmyS
Guest
I said:
But, I am pretty positive that I would have the child and keep it. I trust God, and like I have said before, babies are ALWAYS a gift from God… I believe that with all my heart.
I truely believe this is something you don’t really know until you are there. People change their minds on things when they are victimized. It happens with the death penalty all the time.
But, I am pretty positive that I would have the child and keep it. I trust God, and like I have said before, babies are ALWAYS a gift from God… I believe that with all my heart.
M
mkw
Guest
I have a 23 year old daughter.
When I was 18, I was date raped. Yes, I thought about aborting her, I was just starting college, was single and still lived at home.
I won’t go into the emotional pain involved in the attact, even after all this time, still painful to remember. I was to scared to tell anyone, (I can understand all the excuses used for abortion-such as fear), when I finally did tell, had no choice due to the fact I was showing by this time. I could obtain a 2nd trimester abortion at a very expensive price ($), but by that time, I FELT THE BABY MOVE. From that moment on, no thoughts of abortion ever again.
I believed all the lies about it not being a baby till AFTER it could breathe on its own outside the womb. The just fetal tissue argument. But when I felt my daughter move, I KNEW THIS CHILD WAS ALIVE. abortion-murder!!!
And to think, I was an Atheist at the time
Praise be to God that I made the choice to give birth and not abort, and Praise God that He finally got through my thick skull and I came home to His church.
When I was 18, I was date raped. Yes, I thought about aborting her, I was just starting college, was single and still lived at home.
I won’t go into the emotional pain involved in the attact, even after all this time, still painful to remember. I was to scared to tell anyone, (I can understand all the excuses used for abortion-such as fear), when I finally did tell, had no choice due to the fact I was showing by this time. I could obtain a 2nd trimester abortion at a very expensive price ($), but by that time, I FELT THE BABY MOVE. From that moment on, no thoughts of abortion ever again.
I believed all the lies about it not being a baby till AFTER it could breathe on its own outside the womb. The just fetal tissue argument. But when I felt my daughter move, I KNEW THIS CHILD WAS ALIVE. abortion-murder!!!
And to think, I was an Atheist at the time
Praise be to God that I made the choice to give birth and not abort, and Praise God that He finally got through my thick skull and I came home to His church.
P
Pro-Life_Teen
Guest
Good for you! It shows there is still some good left in us. I chose that I’d raise the child. I’m only fourteen, but I’d rather cut off my arm then get an abortion done, or use any contraception. If I was raped, I would trully keep the child, and raise them.I have a 23 year old daughter.
When I was 18, I was date raped. Yes, I thought about aborting her, I was just starting college, was single and still lived at home.
I won’t go into the emotional pain involved in the attact, even after all this time, still painful to remember. I was to scared to tell anyone, (I can understand all the excuses used for abortion-such as fear), when I finally did tell, had no choice due to the fact I was showing by this time. I could obtain a 2nd trimester abortion at a very expensive price ($), but by that time, I FELT THE BABY MOVE. From that moment on, no thoughts of abortion ever again.
I believed all the lies about it not being a baby till AFTER it could breathe on its own outside the womb. The just fetal tissue argument. But when I felt my daughter move, I KNEW THIS CHILD WAS ALIVE. abortion-murder!!!
And to think, I was an Atheist at the time
Praise be to God that I made the choice to give birth and not abort, and Praise God that He finally got through my thick skull and I came home to His church.
A child shouldn’t die for their father’s crime, and murder should not be added to that rape attack.
J
JCPhoenix
Guest
I’m a hypocrite. I preach pro life, but in all honesty, I responded to the first option.
Childbirth, even the idea of it with someone in marriage terrifies me to the bone. I still don’t know why.
But rape is even scarier. I don’t know why, but I’d prefer to die rather than be raped. I can’t believe the strength of women who have been raped and survived–well.
The thought of a child from that…wheras I respect life and God’s plan, I KNOW I do not have the mental/emotional fortitude to experience a pregnancy resulting from an event I’d rather escape through death.
I can tell you without serious divine intervention, great support from friends/family, I would go through with the emergency contraception.
I’m sorry that what I say is offending others…I keep praying for a better outlook, for my irrational fear to be removed, but it’s there.
I love babies…I know many women suffering difficult pregnancies, and they are so beautiful…moms and babies both. I believe life is a miracle…
I’m sorry I feel as I do.
I’ve used “emergency contraception” in the case of a consensual act…and I have felt guilt ever since. One would think I would have learned then.
Childbirth, even the idea of it with someone in marriage terrifies me to the bone. I still don’t know why.
But rape is even scarier. I don’t know why, but I’d prefer to die rather than be raped. I can’t believe the strength of women who have been raped and survived–well.
The thought of a child from that…wheras I respect life and God’s plan, I KNOW I do not have the mental/emotional fortitude to experience a pregnancy resulting from an event I’d rather escape through death.
I can tell you without serious divine intervention, great support from friends/family, I would go through with the emergency contraception.
I’m sorry that what I say is offending others…I keep praying for a better outlook, for my irrational fear to be removed, but it’s there.
I love babies…I know many women suffering difficult pregnancies, and they are so beautiful…moms and babies both. I believe life is a miracle…
I’m sorry I feel as I do.
I’ve used “emergency contraception” in the case of a consensual act…and I have felt guilt ever since. One would think I would have learned then.
H
Hermione
Guest
Hmm, I first answered that I would hesitate for fear of preventing the implantation of a fertilized egg.
But if I could re-vote, I would probably say I’d keep the baby and raise it. (Although if there was a good and loving family that needed a baby, I would consider adoption too.)
But if I could re-vote, I would probably say I’d keep the baby and raise it. (Although if there was a good and loving family that needed a baby, I would consider adoption too.)
M
Matthewsmumau
Guest
I would have the babe and raise him/her myself. Abortion or adoption would not be an option for me, ever.
F
Fergal
Guest
My dear AmyS,
It is exactly when victimised that our faith should be at its strongest. It is then saints are made. Victimisation (as you call it) is no excuse to go the way of the world. Does victimisation from cancer make euthanasia a viable option??
R
rayne89
Guest
I answered I would raise the child myself but I have to preface that with if I could. My doctors tell me my heart isn’t strong enough to sustain another pregnancy. If the child lived and I died than the better option would probably be adoption but ofcourse that would be up to my husband then.
F
Fergal
Guest
Dear JCPhoenix,
I empathise with you my friend. I can rememeber being at that stage in my early 20’s where it was good to talk church and have all the externals as it gave me a powerful position in my Parish. Privately I was doing all the Church was warning me about. It is only over the last 6 or 7 years that I have recognised the hypocrite in myself and I hate it. Thank God I have fully embraceed the faith now externally and internally, but it is a journey. It starts with a realisation that the internals are not as God would want it and that it is time to make a decision 100% for or 100% against. Remember the Pharisee and the tax-collector???
I have always been pro life and the idea of abortion shocks me to silence. Yet on a deeper level we cannot consider ourselves committed pro lifer’s if we entertain thoughts of possible use of artificial contraception in any circumstance or even go out of our way naturally to make sure conception does not occur for selfish reasons.
I empathise with you my friend. I can rememeber being at that stage in my early 20’s where it was good to talk church and have all the externals as it gave me a powerful position in my Parish. Privately I was doing all the Church was warning me about. It is only over the last 6 or 7 years that I have recognised the hypocrite in myself and I hate it. Thank God I have fully embraceed the faith now externally and internally, but it is a journey. It starts with a realisation that the internals are not as God would want it and that it is time to make a decision 100% for or 100% against. Remember the Pharisee and the tax-collector???
I have always been pro life and the idea of abortion shocks me to silence. Yet on a deeper level we cannot consider ourselves committed pro lifer’s if we entertain thoughts of possible use of artificial contraception in any circumstance or even go out of our way naturally to make sure conception does not occur for selfish reasons.
K
katybird
Guest
I’m already a single mom with a baby conceieved out of wedlock. I can’t even imagine the embarrassment of showing up pregnant again. I mean, would I have to explain to everyone “I got raped?” I don’t think I’d want to do that, and it would be impossible to do it, much of the time.
I wouldn’t hold it against the baby, though. I’d love to have another baby. I don’t know how I’d ever afford it and I don’t know how I’d manage two little children. It would break my heart to not keep the baby - I know I would love the baby desperately.
I think, if the Morning After Pill could PREVENT conception, I would absolutely go for it. I mean, if I could be induced to menstruate the very next day, I think the chances of completely averting pregnancy would be very good.
If that’s not an option, I guess I’d go to one of those homes for pregnant women or some sort of convent. Someplace away from everyone I know where I can pray a lot and be with people who understand. Giving up the baby would be very, very difficult, although at least I’d still have my son and I’d know that I was doing it for HIS good, as well.
Somebody above said “I’d rather die than be raped.” I have to admit that the example of Maria Gorretti has always disturbed me. A man threatened her with a weapon and she said “I can’t do that! It would be a mortal sin!” WOULD it be sinful for a woman to allow a man to rape her if he threatened her life? What about all those prayers that say “Lord, I would rather DIE than offend you in any way!” Are we expected to choose martyrdom? I think that choosing martyrdom is, of course, a beautiful thing. But, if I did that, my son would be an orphan!
What do you all think?
I wouldn’t hold it against the baby, though. I’d love to have another baby. I don’t know how I’d ever afford it and I don’t know how I’d manage two little children. It would break my heart to not keep the baby - I know I would love the baby desperately.
I think, if the Morning After Pill could PREVENT conception, I would absolutely go for it. I mean, if I could be induced to menstruate the very next day, I think the chances of completely averting pregnancy would be very good.
If that’s not an option, I guess I’d go to one of those homes for pregnant women or some sort of convent. Someplace away from everyone I know where I can pray a lot and be with people who understand. Giving up the baby would be very, very difficult, although at least I’d still have my son and I’d know that I was doing it for HIS good, as well.
Somebody above said “I’d rather die than be raped.” I have to admit that the example of Maria Gorretti has always disturbed me. A man threatened her with a weapon and she said “I can’t do that! It would be a mortal sin!” WOULD it be sinful for a woman to allow a man to rape her if he threatened her life? What about all those prayers that say “Lord, I would rather DIE than offend you in any way!” Are we expected to choose martyrdom? I think that choosing martyrdom is, of course, a beautiful thing. But, if I did that, my son would be an orphan!
What do you all think?
W
WhiteDove
Guest
Dear Katy,
I totally sympathise with you. I, myself, chose the option of taking emergency contraception for these reasons:
1)I’m 47 years old and a pregnancy would be physically very burdensome with a high risk of genetic anomalies. According to my Maternity Nursing 17th edition book, at age 47 there is a 1/18 risk of Down Syndrome and a 1/13 total risk for all chromosomal abnormalities. Plus, of course, the pregnancy and birth are also higher risk generally for an older mother.
I totally sympathise with you. I, myself, chose the option of taking emergency contraception for these reasons:
1)I’m 47 years old and a pregnancy would be physically very burdensome with a high risk of genetic anomalies. According to my Maternity Nursing 17th edition book, at age 47 there is a 1/18 risk of Down Syndrome and a 1/13 total risk for all chromosomal abnormalities. Plus, of course, the pregnancy and birth are also higher risk generally for an older mother.
- I am a widow with 2 daughters 8 and 10 at home. The only family support I have is from my grown sons, who are trying to get their own lives established. My church is not very supportive, as I experienced little to none when my husband died. The whole situation would be extremely traumatic.
F
Fergal
Guest
WhiteDove,
The UCCB has clear guidelines. I reproduce some of them here:
Fact Sheet
Emergency Contraception and Treatment
of Victims of Sexual Assault
Emergency Contraception
“Emergency Contraceptives” are multiple-dose oral contraceptives taken after intercourse. The pills have at least four possible mechanisms: (1) suppressing ovulation, (2) altering cervical mucus to hinder the transport of sperm, (3) slowing the transport of the ovum and (4) inhibiting implantation of the newly conceived human embryo. Which of these mechanisms is operative depends on when the pills are taken. If taken before ovulation, EC may delay or inhibit ovulation, thereby preventing conception. If taken after the LH surge which triggers ovulation, EC will not disrupt ovulation in that cycle, but can inhibit implantation of the developing embryo.1
Treatment of Victims of Sexual Assault
Victims of sexual assault should be treated with compassion and understanding. Health care providers who treat sexual assault victims should provide medically accurate information and offer spiritual and psychological support.
A woman who has been raped should be able to defend herself from a potential conception and receive treatments to suppress ovulation and incapacitate sperm. If conception has occurred, however, a Catholic hospital will not dispense drugs to interfere with implantation of a newly conceived human embryo.2
Hospitals should develop appropriate protocols to determine whether administering emergency contraception would have an abortifacient effect. Tests are available to determine whether ovulation has occurred.3
The directives were developed by U.S. bishops, with approval from the Vatican, and all health-care operations affiliated with the Catholic Church must abide by them.
In the case of emergency contraception, for example, the directives state: “A female who has been raped should be able to defend herself against a potential conception from the sexual assault. If, after appropriate testing, there is no evidence that conception has occurred already, she may be treated with medications that would prevent ovulation, sperm capacitation or fertilization. It is not permissible, however, to initiate or to recommend treatments that have as their purpose or direct effect the removal, destruction or interference with the implantation of a fertilized ovum.” Because emergency contraception prevents pregnancy in one of several ways, including by preventing ovulation and interfering with implantation of the fertilized egg, some Catholic bishops have deemed it to never be permissible, while other clergy members, including Parks, say it’s permissible in certain circumstances.
WhiteDove, Can I take it that you would take emergency contraception even in the event of fertilisation for the reasons you have mentioned? Or would you check first to see if ovulation / fertilisation had occured?
Am I to take it that the baby’s physical developmental matters or financial concerns would help you legitimise the taking of emergency contraception??
You talk of risks… Where’s your trust in God?
The UCCB has clear guidelines. I reproduce some of them here:
Fact Sheet
Emergency Contraception and Treatment
of Victims of Sexual Assault
Emergency Contraception
“Emergency Contraceptives” are multiple-dose oral contraceptives taken after intercourse. The pills have at least four possible mechanisms: (1) suppressing ovulation, (2) altering cervical mucus to hinder the transport of sperm, (3) slowing the transport of the ovum and (4) inhibiting implantation of the newly conceived human embryo. Which of these mechanisms is operative depends on when the pills are taken. If taken before ovulation, EC may delay or inhibit ovulation, thereby preventing conception. If taken after the LH surge which triggers ovulation, EC will not disrupt ovulation in that cycle, but can inhibit implantation of the developing embryo.1
Treatment of Victims of Sexual Assault
Victims of sexual assault should be treated with compassion and understanding. Health care providers who treat sexual assault victims should provide medically accurate information and offer spiritual and psychological support.
A woman who has been raped should be able to defend herself from a potential conception and receive treatments to suppress ovulation and incapacitate sperm. If conception has occurred, however, a Catholic hospital will not dispense drugs to interfere with implantation of a newly conceived human embryo.2
Hospitals should develop appropriate protocols to determine whether administering emergency contraception would have an abortifacient effect. Tests are available to determine whether ovulation has occurred.3
The directives were developed by U.S. bishops, with approval from the Vatican, and all health-care operations affiliated with the Catholic Church must abide by them.
In the case of emergency contraception, for example, the directives state: “A female who has been raped should be able to defend herself against a potential conception from the sexual assault. If, after appropriate testing, there is no evidence that conception has occurred already, she may be treated with medications that would prevent ovulation, sperm capacitation or fertilization. It is not permissible, however, to initiate or to recommend treatments that have as their purpose or direct effect the removal, destruction or interference with the implantation of a fertilized ovum.” Because emergency contraception prevents pregnancy in one of several ways, including by preventing ovulation and interfering with implantation of the fertilized egg, some Catholic bishops have deemed it to never be permissible, while other clergy members, including Parks, say it’s permissible in certain circumstances.
WhiteDove, Can I take it that you would take emergency contraception even in the event of fertilisation for the reasons you have mentioned? Or would you check first to see if ovulation / fertilisation had occured?
Am I to take it that the baby’s physical developmental matters or financial concerns would help you legitimise the taking of emergency contraception??
You talk of risks… Where’s your trust in God?
W
WhiteDove
Guest
I would not hesitate. I would immediately go to the emergency room and get pregnancy and AIDS prevention treatment. I’m not as noble as some others on the thread, and while I admire them, I have my own personal limitations in this matter.
- Status