Wrong to avoid confession because of priest?

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abbap

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Hello,

I was curious - Is it wrong to avoid going to confession to a particular priest simply because you don’t care/don’t always agree with the priest? I work for the archdiocese and we have weekly confession which is super nice and convenient, but I had a not super great experience once with him regarding what constitutes sin or not. So my question is, if I am in need of confession, is it wrong to intentionally avoid going to this priest and waiting to attend confession elsewhere? I’m assuming that confession itself is instituted/given by Christ so it shouldn’t matter much what the priest advises, given you know and are sorry for what you have done…like, it shouldn’t mess up the validity? Or would it?

Thanks
 
abbap said:
Hello,

I was curious - Is it wrong to avoid going to confession to a particular priest simply because you don’t care/don’t always agree with the priest? I work for the archdiocese and we have weekly confession which is super nice and convenient, but I had a not super great experience once with him regarding what constitutes sin or not. So my question is, if I am in need of confession, is it wrong to intentionally avoid going to this priest and waiting to attend confession elsewhere? I’m assuming that confession itself is instituted/given by Christ so it shouldn’t matter much what the priest advises, given you know and are sorry for what you have done…like, it shouldn’t mess up the validity? Or would it?

Thanks
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No it’s not wrong. You can use any priest in any Catholic parish as your confessor for any reason you’d like.
 
but if we’re talking about the state of your soul and you’re unsure when you’ll be able to get to confession next, would that be wrong to avoid? I feel like that could be borderline selfishness and imprudent?
 
abbap said:
but if we’re talking about the state of your soul and you’re unsure when you’ll be able to get to confession next, would that be wrong to avoid? I feel like that could be borderline selfishness and imprudent?
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Feels like that’s a different issue - in that case if you have mortal sin it’s best to get to confession ASAP no matter where it is. If you don’t want to go to that priest, most priests in other parishes will be happy to hear your confession even outside of their regular confession times (obviously as long as it’s not 5 minutes before mass, etc). I don’t think it’s selfish or wrong. I’ve done that many times.
 
When I first went to work for the Church, a wise priest friend advised me that it is best to find a confessor who is outside of my workplace.

If this is your only way to confess, then, go behind a screen and get it done! Then, make a plan for future confessions how often you need, weekly, monthly, etc. at a parish where you don’t work.
 
OP. Priests who are also rectors or teachers at Catholic schools are advised not to hear confessions from their students. Parish priests should not hear confessions from their employees and if the priest is married then wife and children have a right to go to another priest than the one who is also their husband/dad.

As you work for the archdiocese then there must be several parishes within reasonable distance where you can go to confession. You don’t have to go to the priest the archdiocese assigns. I prefer to go to other priests than my parish priest for several reasons as I find that best for me.
 
I don’t understand your reluctance to confess to this priest.
 
Thanks everyone for your responses -
In terms of my reluctance, I just don’t care for how he does confession - he doesn’t require us to say the Act of Contrition, though he does say the words of absolution. And once he told me a particular sin wasn’t a sin, though I felt differently.
 
If you were in a state of mortal sin and this is the only priest that can hear your confession then I would go to him.

If not, I would go to a regular confessor that you like. In my opinion we should avoid bad confessors if possible.
 
I agree. After thinking more about it/talking it over, I do think that avoiding confession just because the priest isn’t the greatest isn’t the right thing to do, especially if I have the stain of a mortal sin on my soul.

But I do agree that a good confessor is more ideal, obviously. However, a less-than-ideal confession is better than no confession at all…
 
I think you have been given some sound advice in this thread. I have a choice of two confessors on a weekly basis, and for various reasons I prefer one over the other. If I had a serious mortal sin, and the preferred one was on vacation, I’d have no qualms whatsoever about confessing before the other. A mortal sin on your soul is like a major typhoon. I prefer port, any port, over risking my salvation in troubled waters.
 
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abbap said:
In terms of my reluctance, I just don’t care for how he does confession - he doesn’t require us to say the Act of Contrition, though he does say the words of absolution. And once he told me a particular sin wasn’t a sin, though I felt differently.
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The act of contrition can be said after the “formal confession” is finished, so, that is not a big deal breaker in my book.

For the disagreement about sin, I’d make an out of confession appointment and speak with him!
 
Who is the priest here? Who has been ordained?
We, the people, are supposed to do what God wants, not what “we” want. And we are supposed to confess to a priest, to receive absolution, to offer penance, and to gain communion. Hallelujah!
 
If I were in mortal sin, I’d confess to any old priest who was handy rather than put it off.
For normal confession, I feel free to choose a priest whose confessions I like/find helpful.
Most priests fall in that category for me. Over the last few years I have confessed to maybe 30 priests and there were about 3 who I would prefer not to go to again. One of them is no longer in the USA, the other two are not at regular parishes of mine, so no big deal.

I agree that I would likely avoid confessing to any priest I worked with daily or had for a teacher or principal in school. For the same reason I wouldnt use my next door neighbor as my home improvement contractor. Better to just keep things separate unless it’s a big emergency.
 
I’ve only had one off-putting experience with a confessor - really didn’t experience mercy with that one. Confessors can make such a difference to how confession is used. A priest friend of mine recently told me that someone went to confession for the first time in 15 years and was in tears because they thought they would get shouted at (again - as per their last experience).

Go to a priest you’re comfortable with if they are available; if it’s your only option offer it up and see it as an extra way to yourself to God.
 
You are free to confess wherever you want. I personally understand your reluctance and I try to go to a different priest. If you can’t, just go behind the screen.
 
For me I tend not to return to confess to priests where it’s not clear that absolution took place. Many priests have their own words of absolving especially when there’s a large line for confession.
 
I like to go to different priests for confession. I’ve found differing perspectives helpful in my faith journey.

If you’re feeling resentment toward your current priest, consider confessing that to whichever priest you end up seeing.
 
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If he were to be the only priest and you were to be in danger of death then it would be dangerous to your spiritual wellbeing for you to not confess to him.
 
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